I have too many issues, cleaning up the floor
you're so good at goodbyes, you don't mind what's in my mind
im sending signals, nonverbals but you don't hear me
no you don't feel me
no you don't love me

this time, i plan, i decide to go help myself
but i still feel the lack of touch i need you there
i want to send you message cause i miss you
but, i don't think thats gonna happen, remember what happen

chorus:

i lay down
i gave up
my guard down
now relapse

you hear me
but you don't see me
falling down
feeling the pain back now

2nd verse:

last night, i have so many thoughts drifting streets around
in the tricycle, when we touch, each dares, in the dark fall out
how can you be with someone, you just met 5 minutes there
than someone who loves you more, its been 5 years since i care

i mean, i already had move on, 2022 is that our year
we just pass along together, in the school, nobody cares
grateful for the both of you, i hope your happy with him
but i dont think i'll ever be, i dont think think i can rest in piece, maybe

chorus:

i lay down
i gave up
my guard down
now relapse

you hear me
but you don't see me
falling down
feeling the pain back now

i lay down
i gave now
my whole life
my sacrifice

you feel me
but you still choose him
over right me
im over but i bet you still miss me

bridge: 
you think im jealous bch im not
you think i miss you bch who tf?
are you to have him now?
when you said your straight cause i know your not

you think im jealous bch im not
you think i miss you bch who tf?
are you to have him now?
what is happening to my world, my god

ha all along i was right
your confused after you got me right?
you change after that october night?
no fucks given but why did you leave me?

i dont know what to say
i don't think i can pray
anymore for you
my lemonade is evaporating baby ahhhhhh ahhhh

chorus:

i lay down
i gave up
my guard down
now relapse

you hear me
but you don't see me
falling down
feeling the pain back now

last chorus:

What happened?
mvcj

i am feeling strange 
why did you lie to me
i am feeling betrayed 
why did you choose him over me
i am feeling strange 
why did you lie to me
im mad im mad im mad 
to you 3x (what happen?)

relapse

what happens is

im sitting again here in my room
casually reading and my mind was blown
i always remember a single piece from you
about you and about that no

hindi ko alam ang sasabihin
hindi ko alam ang gagawin
baka bigyan mo ng ibang meaning
kapag ako ay may hiniling

ohhhhhhhh
ohhhhhhh

tanong tanong
kung bakit ba ganito
ang mundo bulong
nasisiraan na ako
ng bait sayo
hindi ko masabi
kung mahal kita o hinde
magtatanong ka kaya?
oh gulong gulo 
na ako dito
sabi mo ganito
pero nakalimutan mo
ang mundo bulong
tatlong patlang sa tanong
sana hindi nalang ako nagtanong

ohhhhhhhh
ohhhhhhhh

marerealize mo kaya? (kaya?)
ang mga bagay na sana'y ginawa? (ginawa?) 
lagi ko bang sasabihin 
o sadyang di mo lang inintende
maiisip mo pa kaya?
ang mga bagay na sana'y ginawa
sakin dahil lagi nalang 
akong naiiwan
sa tabe
sa likod
walang pumapansin
sa harap
luhod
ngayon ako'y male? 
kelan kaya?
ako iyong mapipili
sa ilalim ng buwan
baka masagasaan

kailangan ko ng huminga
di na ako makahinga
aha

hindi ba matatapos ito??
samahan mo naman ako!?
mamamatay na ata ako!
kung hindi lang din naman sayo

kanino nalang?

last verse:

lagi nalang ba ganito?
lagi nalang ganito?
lagi nalang ba ganito?
sawang sawa na ako!!!!

lagi nalang ganito

Point them blanks but written words around the block C
I'm not sure but I feel my guts for this year 
I'm not going to say im feeling ok baby
Hmm hmm

We point them red flags but we dont know we are too 
I made september soft but im aware im in love too
Not to you but to the feeling of being bloom loose
lose but im not lost 

Chorus:

I miss the feeling of being in love with somebody
I miss the feeling of chasing but not again baby
I miss his eyes and smiles you make me feel crazy

I miss the feeling going circles with my friends on the street 
I miss the feeling of bleeding on skin but im smiling
I miss myself their words are not even necessary 
Hmm hmm

I miss myself hey! 2x
I miss u baby 2x

Letting out the garbage inside her room of my bestie
Look how far we become different but we miss the old me 
Talking sht, playing the games, but we're both tired baby
Hmm hmm

Sometimes I dont response cause I dont want screaming
Dont want to go back from the midnight were my parents are flying
On the ground, things are flying also now
They dont understand what im telling them now

Chorus:

I miss the feeling of being happy in everything
I miss the feeling where my parents are still sleep beside me
I miss the feeling eating dinner 3 completely 
Aha baby 

I miss the feeling of screaming but in fun baby
I miss the feeling where I can eat whatever baby 
I miss the feeling where everyone is happy when they see me 

Cause I dont think they do now
Cause I feel that they hate me now
After what I did to myself
After what they did to myself
 
I miss myself hey! 2x
I miss u baby 2x

Sometimes I think what if I die across your street
Would you ever think of me and love me the way you should be
But actions speaks louder, I know that I remember
Baby I remember

i remember

di naman ako malungkot
pero gusto lang naman kitang kausapin
kakausapin nyo lang ako pag ayaw ko na makipagusap
bat ayaw nyo ba akong kausapin???
ughhhh

so sick and tired 
to you all, to the bullshit 
I was mad but now, ha, I just laugh about it 
Because even though im still mad
at least I understand it now

I can't imagine what happened
I don't want this to happen again (december 14)
I really want to work this out
And end this year with peace out (not the red one tho) 

pre - chorus: 
I'm not going to waste my time (not going too!!)
To someone who can't even be mine
To someone who doesn't like my trips in life
Not going to change myself just because of that man

chorus: 
I don't know if what I did was wrong
I don't know if I'm becoming bad now
If you have glimpsed something like this in me
Please give me a communication by 3

I don't want to be so dramatic 
But im drowning in my own room by night
Not unless you sleep with me
Not unless we're still awake at midnight 

give me communication
by 3 
with tea
bout him
by me

Don't forget to talk to me when you're alone
But I respect if you want to be alone (ughhh)
I make fun of everything just to stay present
But im not ok at all with this recent

I want to go outside at midnight (with you)
And walk around releasing all of my doubts, tonight
Walking around with earphones, gucci tight
Acting like I didn't just had a sessions to cry

pre chorus:

I miss who I use to be
I was smiling and dancing with the trees
But starting that im already swimming in my tears
Thinking if tomorrow im still waking up by 3
I know that I'm confident
But why do I feel I need someone to be happy

I barely forget it but would remember later at home
But will be mad instead cause they didn't my-day me tho

I don't know if I still can do this education
Knowing my energy has been defeated by all fuckings tensions. 

chorus: 
I don't know if what I did was wrong
I don't know if I'm becoming bad now
If you have glimpsed something like this in me
Please give me a communication by 3

I don't want to be so dramatic 
But im drowning in my own room by night
Not unless you sleep with me, (hold tight)
Not unless we're still awake at midnight 

ohhhh, give me communication 
by 3 
with tea
bout him
by me

ohhh, don't give me all that tension
I can't 
fucking breathe
just kill me
if you want to leave 

I just need a communication
with you
with him
with her
with me

ohhh just a communication
morning
afternoon
evening
midnight tea

suddenly wake up
dead
hahaha just kidding
suddenly wake up
fresh
but I still miss you 
talk to me
myghad

communication

your eyes
your mind

when every day, late home, 8 pm
sweet home
still missing you
still missing you
wanna be with you 

your eyes
your mind
so struck in thin
feels so good
but feel so much

are we gonna end up together?

your eyes
your mind

I just want a love that it's not complicated
dating me will never be degrading
I just want to go back when everything's good
I want you, you like me, discover the world

wanna build something so special
and I want that it's you cause you're special
if you're scared to ride with me
it means you're being manipulated by them

by this 
by everyone telling you were not fit
I just want a fun love and so deep

your eyes
your mind

waking up by your shoulders being my bed
waking up on the pillow but it's your chest 
morning not blue, breakfast moonlight with you 
wrap me when it's cold, making you warm afternoon

writing songs, writing poems still about you
you're doing stuff and I am here sit beside you
sleeping but were wrapping up in my bed 
or stay up late just looking into your eyes again

your eyes
your mind (2x)

I know dark gray dark green is me
but im still a sweetener when you hold me
I wanna feel love again
and I wanna feel that love from you again

you love me
I love you

I know you like cabbage and hairy beans
but im here serving you everything
but I dont have those things
but I for sure you, you'll be loved by me

I love you
you love me 

you'll be loved by me 

wanna loved by again

loved

thought i could do it
thought i can keep it
I thought i can stay away
It just a thought, fck that way

do i deserve it?
wheres the same feeling
Wheres the escape room 
can this be the end

pre-chorus:

i don't know what to do anymore
i bet he still coming back that's why he aint opening the door

Chorus:

Now it's 5:55 in the afternoon
Crying in the dark, in the fucking bathroom
My Lola lost her crucial spoon in the morning
But I lost the one that I thought it was for me 

Now i can not eat, no one can uplift me
Now what should i do to be free from it?
Delusion is the killer, now killed by his delusion lover
he brought it back the spark then took it away again
Yeah fck that sht 
fck that sht
never ever going it to back it
still planning to burn that blue scarf hey

2nd chorus:

I thought i knew you
But your just a boy, lacks of purpose and distract it with pleasures 
(I thought giving another chance could spark it)
Why would i feel those things that we did
Is it just in my head or because you also like me?

I've been here before so i should know it
But now why my heart is bleeding?
My mind said bitch i knew it
Why did you not feel it?

Chorus:

Now it's 5:55 in the afternoon
Crying in the dark, in the fucking bathroom
My Lola lost her crucial spoon in the morning
But I lost the one that I thought it was for me 

Now i can not eat, no one can uplift me
Now what should i do to be free from it?
Delusion is the killer, now killed by his delusion lover
he brought it back the spark then took it away again

fck that sht 
fck that sht
never ever going it to back it
still planning to burn that blue scarf hey

Bridge:

That was the reason why i stop bleeding
That was the reason why i stop paralyzing
He was the reason why there's light and not dark blue anymore
But that was the reason why i feel it again oh lord

Now looking far, seated in my table
Why would you not tell me the truth?
I didn't even see the signs you put in the table
Now i relapse and thinking of cutting my life again

But it's not your fault
Never was your fault
You are always right
Right to cut me deep like what they did

Im not stupid to do all of this
I just followed my heart cause i thought you're the one
I thought this was my new beginning
But this was just another dark the ending 

now gonna burn that blue scarf hey

blue scarf

hindi mo ba napapansin?
ang takbo ng mundo 2x
kung saan saan ka nakatingin
puso ay malabo narin

pre-chorus:
why you can't let me in
why always want me out?
why straight can't match the world in my house

why you always don't reply
it's not hard to keep my line
i'm not hard to love, but now I think it's the time

chorus:
not to love
not to give my whole damn love
not to care for someone now
everybody wants something
different
not to beg
not to be with someone who
suggest different names
all I want is you but you push me away and kill me

saan ka nakatingin?
dito ka lang sakin, dito kalang sakin
kung ayaw mo, baby baket??
sigurado kaba? na gusto mo na siya?

pre-chorus:
why you can't let me in
why always want me out?
do you think you can get that when im on your side

i know what i did is fool
but i swear i know what love is
promise this will be the last time rejection touch my heart 

chorus:
not to love
not to give my whole damn love
not to care for someone now
everybody wants something
different
not to beg
not to be with someone who
suggest different names
all I want is you but you push me away

no choice babe, 
handing a knife just for you
need to leave and forget you
pasasalamatan pa kita 

sc 
we better off when we were friends
you never catch me when I fell
bet you'll fell harder now after all

no shade 
just want to let you know my feelings
last night was fun but depressing.
but the morning made me feel nothing at all

would you not smile
I can't get myself anymore
I had so many nights
please god let someone enter my door

pre-chorus:

so many tears
no one loves me here
everybody don't like me
im afraid I stay up feeling nothing 

I HAD ENOUGH
TO BE YOUR FRIEND
TO BE THE ONE
WHO IS ALWAYS THERE BUT YOU'RE NOT HERE
I WANT YOU TO BE MY LOVER
TO BE THE ONE
WHO IS ALWAYS THERE AND THERES NO BUT IN THE END

Ahhhhh
Ahhhhh
Kiss me
Tonight
We're gonna fly away tonight
We're gonna levitate to the sky 
We're gonna dance just the two of us
Nobody's going home tonight

what is mine will be mine
if you don't like me then runaway
what is mine will be mine
this is my life, I had enough 

I had enough 4x 

bridge:

it's you but I dont think it's you
I dont feel like we're clicking so it's time to move through
When I got home, I feel magnetic in
there's something in your eyes, but the way you talk is not in rhyme
you, the golden age of new, I dont want to be August in my world full of used
can I just say, that I like you hey
but I know what will happen so
I choose to grave in the dusk again

I dont want to be an option
I want to be the only one you chose to mission
you got the fire, I have the life
combining looks so dangerous 
but isn't feeling love screams dangerous?

chorus:

I had enough 8x...

sometimes I dont think love helps me out
sometimes love kills me inside out 
but you give me
but you give me
love

I had enough at midnight stuck
I had enough of looking at your back
I had enough at midnight whining
I had enough cause I am enough

i had enough

if you wanna take a bite baby take me
but don't think too hard, it doesn't mean anything
why would you say that? what do you mean
thanks for the sign, I take it as a sign

if you wanna take a bite baby take me
but don't think too hard, it doesn't mean anything
why would you say that? what do you mean
thanks for the sign, I take it as a sign

why everyone thinks too cryptic
is it illegal to invite you and between us too
I wanna dig down on you so deeply 
and take you to the place where your grace, on my face

but if you don't want to take a bite, then nothing takes here
your tasteless tastebuds can't even take me
why would you say that? what do i mean?
thanks for the sign, take this as a sign

if you wanna take a bite baby take me
but don't think too hard, it doesn't mean anything
why would you say that? what do you mean
thanks for the sign, I take it as a sign

you better notice
the scar in mine, the dark in my eyes
you need to feel it
the love i desire, but you ruin tonight 
(you ruin my life) 

but, but you said it (but you said it)
but, but i track it (i track it) 
why does it hard to believe in love (love)
but why does it feels nice to be alone in the dark (dark) 

alone in the dark (this happens a lot)
alone in my heart (this happens all the time)
lovin my time
to take you down tonight 

this happens all the time 
i fucking relapse


CUS WHY WOUld YOU EVEN SAY THAT?
WHY WOULD YOU EVEN DID THAT?
REPLY WHY DOES IT FEEL SO HARD?
GET THE FUCK OUT IN MY HEAD

CUS WHY WOUld YOU EVEN SAY THAT?
WHY WOULD YOU EVEN DID THAT?
REPLY WHY DOES IT FEEL SO HARD?
GET THE FUCK OUT IN MY HEAD

GET THE FUCK OUT IN MY HEAD
GET THE FUCK OUT IN MY HEAD
WHY WOULD YOU EVEN SAY THAT?
GET THE FUCK OUT IN MY HEAD
GET THE FUCK OUT IN MY HEAD
GET THE FUCK OUT IN MY HEAD
GET THE FUCK OUT , GET THE FUCK OUT

why?

Will there be something?
Will there be such a happy ending?
Will you leave her and focus on me?
Or you're just like december him?

What will happen if I confess it

Would you come to me after school?
Would we take pictures at the photo booth?
Would you eat sum and drink with me?
Or would you leave me because she is still?

Chorus:
These are the things that im overthinking
When you are writing down answering
These are the things that keep me up at night
I've moved on twice yet I fall for you many times 

What will happen if I confess to you

2nd chorus:
Would it change everything?
Would my life continue to be lightly?
Would i laugh and loving the perfect view?
Or would it continue but it's just not you 

Would i wear light instead of dark
Would you never look at any hair down tonight?
would you never shot kiss and focus on the gist
Or is it me drinking all this delusion and it will never be me

Chorus:
These are the things im overthinking
When you are writing down answering
These are the things that keep me up at night
I've moved on twice yet I fall at you many times

ohhhhhhh ohhhhhh

I loved you many times

Bridge:

Your smile, your lips i can feel it inside
Your heart, your hand lend me the ring tonight
But do you think of me at night?
Would you say yes to me that night?

Do you just not answer my chat cause you don't like it fast
Or you're just talking to her and i'm not your type
Do you think that i like you back on December night?
Then why would you not say anything to me after that?
I guess the confession of the judge will just be a song
Unless we meet again in the university hall

You are the only person I talk about with my friends
Also with my mother cause I know you're different
Would you like me back if I confess to you?
Or would you just be like him strike my heart right to the edge of losing it all 

Chorus:
These are the things that im overthinking
When you are writing down answering
These are the things that keep me up at night
I've moved on twice yet I fall at you many times

You are the only one that makes me feel light
You bring back the old me that I also want to see
I gave you all my love just not in words do u mind?
But you're good at goodbyes

so never mind
falling for you many times
lose it all

I like your heart, your eyes, your creative mind
You're like my soulmate baby you give me light
I love to be with you every single night and morning
These are the things im waiting for you to say but you're leaving me here again yeah

so nothing new
nothing brew 
nothing new
nothing blue down my whole heart of losing it all

overthinking

you can meet me in the dark
you can meet me in the light
I had a ton of drama
but I have love pour down on you tonight 

expect me to change every time
but I hope you won't change and stay by my side 

you are what I have
you are what I wanted
I hope you change things like pride
and please take me away tonight

i expect you to stay every time
but you leave me hang in the dark

for what?
for the conversation to end
for the conversation to be done
for the lines won't repeat at the same time

for what?
cause we're both on the same right line
and you hear but you dont listen every time
i expect you to listen and be the right guy

chorus:

tonight
you'll be here every night
I'll be there every time
we go to the same place every night

dont be scared in the dark
we came to ruin our lives 
were partners in crime

but why did I feel like you were leaving me here
why did I feel like you like them most than me tonight

2nd 

you can me meet anywhere
you can call me anywhere
you can come here to my house
and sleepover till we were drown

expect me to change every time
but I hope you won't change and stay by my side 

I didn't mean to be unfair
I didn't mean to be selfish
i just want you to understand me 
cause i feel alone every time

expect me to change every time
but I hope you won't replace me cause im not smarter like they're like 

feelings suck yeah feelings lacks
comprehend at 19 so fucked
only friend that came to my house
but also friend who's with me in the dark

healer, guider smart at young love
fever dreamers dance around the clock
pride smoke signals haze around the boulevard
and leave me tonight

I hope you won't leave me alone here
Baby

chorus:

tonight
you'll be here every night
I'll be there every time
we go to the same place every night

dont be scared in the dark
we came to ruin their lives 
were partners in crime

but why did I feel like you were leaving me here
why did I feel like you like them most than me tonight

bridge:

love is what i hear every time
I hear your name and your laugh by my side
you stay even if you don't like it so much
i want you to stay but it's your life if you don't you want 

im finding a word like you're my favorite love
type of love that he can't give me tonight
the waves and the thunders are there every time
but my love no pride will stay for you every time

please don't leave me
please don't leave 

chorus:
i love you
tonight
you'll be here every night
I'll be there every time
we go to the same place every night

dont be scared in the dark
we came to ruin the lives 
were partners in crime

but why did I feel like you were leaving me here
why did I feel like you like them most than me tonight

last chorus:

you were the one
the only one
the only one who stays in my life
dont have the time
to replace me with another one
baby no one

but if you wanna leave
and go with them toxics
cross my heart
and I will disappear in one night 
you were the one
the only one
the only one who stays in my life
don't leave me this time

don't leave

1st verse:

that's how easy
that's how easily you can manipulate me
but that's too easy
that's too easy to pretend you really did shit me

I'm glad, jaded
I'm done with you I can really tell it
combine with sex
you can't convince me, I'm not really that desperate 

chorus:

going to the sky
focusing on mine
always got so tired
I wanna stay high
I promise not to go
back to that life
if any shit happens
I promise not to cut my life 

my life
I promise to stay alive
yeah
stay alive

2nd verse

I got distracted
but I got dreams so I need to wake up (ah)
you prison my heart and
you make me feel I need to give up (ah)

but I know that won't happen lavender, green black t-shirt outfit
I choose my peace, definition of alone is different ahhhh 

to me, if you don't want, that's it
If I don't like then suck this
I'll rather be with people with love, than people who want to give up 
if you're tired then close your eyes, and if you're ready then strive, have you forgotten it? 

chorus:

going to the sky
focusing on mine
always got so tired
I wanna stay high
I promise not to go
back to that life
if any shit happens
I promise not to cut my life 

my life
I promise to stay alive
yeah
stay alive

last chorus;

I got a leap, but surprise
I have faith than to be sad 
I got a number, but don't mind
would you count it, like everyone else did 

don't judge me, it's not me, and I'm not the one doing it
love me, but don't break me, even if it's a part of it
touch me, just love me even I can love myself too
I love you but love yours too, don't ever get distracted

stay alive

hi guys! im a music creator, I love to sing and share my experiences so I hope you liked my masterpieces.

Matt Lisan

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