Sexy Noises

When I rest my head to sleep
Close my eyes, relax
I slowly fall into a trance
The world fades to black
Drifting along an ethereal path
Riding on a translucent beam
In an iridescent world
I love my Lucid Dreams.

Feeling faint euphoria
Forever flying free
No-one can ever force me back
To face reality
That poignantly pointless place
Perpetual boredom
I'm conscious of awakening
Cos the daylight makes me numb.

Lucid Dreams

This song is my remix of the song "Belly Dancer" by Kardinal Offishall. Seb nominated this track as something truly terrible and issued me a challenge to "do something with it". Initially I was thinking of hunting the band down and killing them but then I realised he probably meant something else.

I decided to turn this track from a monotonous piece of shit into something with a funky breakbeat.

I really enjoyed making this one, hope you bitches enjoy listening to it!!

Bellydancer

This is my second remixed Eurovision song: the 2009 Moldova entry "Hora din Moldova" by Nelly Ciobanu. When I first heard this track I was very impressed with the funky horns in the background but far less impressed with the stupid vocals. Luckily, due to the miracle of the interwebs I managed to locate an instrumental version of the song with the ginger voice removed! However, it still wasn't punchy enough for my liking so I added a dirty bassline and some tighter drums!

ps. Hora din Moldova actually means "Dance from Moldova" and not "a whore making a din in Moldova" as I first imagined. The more you know!

Hora Din Moldova

This is my BRAND NEW REMIX of the Spetsnaz theme from CoD: Modern Warfare 2. In this game you are strongly encouraged to shoot people in the face with big guns. However, doing so in silence can be boring - which is why you need a pumping Drum and Bass sound track to accompany your murderous rampages.

Spetsnaz Spawn (Drum & Bass remix)

This song tells the story of three unfortunate lovers and the perculiar love triangle they find themselves in. All three of these people are dicks and I do not endorse any of their actions - also: this song isn't about YOU, you egotistical asshat. If you find yourself identifying with any of the characters in this story take heed of the moral of this tale and stop being a dick...

Holiday

I'm not gonna lie, the Eurovision song contest is a travesty against music. Saying that, the Latvian entry is actually pretty good. The only thing I don't like about it is the fact that the bassline doesn't really do much damage to my neighbour's windows - I decided to fix that.

What For

This is the story of a bboy SO fresh that he defied death itself to return from the grave to smoke the souls of the living.

Zombie BBoy

This is my song about vuvuzelas, the single worst thing about the World Cup (apart from the England Squad, of course). Their presence in the game has propagated into the real world and I find myself in close proximity to retarded football fans blowing them in the street. This makes me angry - so I wrote some lyrics to express my anger (I'll also talk about it in therapy next week). 

The song is a sensitive review of vuvuzela playing from an artistic perspective, analysing both its positive affect on the game of football and the musical complexity and versatility of the instru-BZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ!­!

South African Horns

Personally, I love nothing more than chowing down on raw human flesh but apparently it's frowned upon by weird coloured puppets.

Fascists...

Anyway, it's been such a long time since I finished any music I thought I'd just quickly make something stupid and fun - this is it. It's a remix of a weird little song from a children's program called "Yo Gabba Gabba". It made me laugh and someone requested a bboy friendly version, so I thought I'd get the bongos out and rock that shiz!

Don't Bite Your Friends

This is the story of what happens when Santa tries to deliver presents to the children of spies and evil henchmen.

Matt R Taylor

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