this has to be the best saturday ever, 10/10

The first ever rap battle of the series!


Audio Credits:
Beat Production - Beatg33kz
Mixed by Jotaseis 
Album Thumbnail and Art by Evrywunzf8vrit
Megamind VA: Samuel Grasman
Robbie Rotten VA: SuperTamerDude 
Written by Rebot17

Megamind Verse 1 (0:16)
Behold! It's Megamind, the greatest villain of all time!
I have the intellect of a genius, I'm the real mastermind.
Don't trade blows with me Plasticman, I rule all of Metrocity!
Don't let your makeup melt in the sun or you will become a Monstrosity!
Just look at my style, I sting like a black mamba!
I make bad look great, all you do is drama!
I will rule the world with my iron fist!
All you can do is stop and frisk!
Haha I'm stealing this victory! Like you requested, I will be making you history!
Let me just end this annihilation,
So take the mic, let's see if you can beat my presentation!


Robbie Rotten Verse 1 (0:48)
I'm so glad you're done with all of that yapping already,
Now it's time for the master to rap, so please shut your holes and be ready!
Alright, as you can see, there's no fixin vixin for this tragedy!
I mastered the most villainous trickeries, This refugee has no formality!
Wannabe joker! Let me teach you a lesson!
Your hero took lunch break and you fell into depression!
Call me Robbie Rocken! Cause I'm rocking this beat!
Your threats are full of air just like Sportacus's blimp.
My bars are going to be sweet, like your defeat!
You nearly lost to a simp, how about you retreat!
Your verse was like Sportcandy, completely tasteless!
I'm the superior icon, just admire my greatness!




Megamind Verse 2 (1:20)
Oh No! I'm shaking in my custom made baby seal leather boots!
Sorry, It's just that, I'm going to get defeated by a guy scared of fruits?
There's no way out, You're entirely doomed!
I will just press this button and your town will go Kaboom!
Your eyebrows are falling off, here's some glue!
Call me Mega-Sport, cuz you’re getting caged by another shade of blue!
Step aside if you don't want me to use my de-gun
No bitches? That's unfortunate, why don't you suck on deez nuts!
blah blah blah, let me just pick a dress for a bad pun.
Not even I could think, you could be this naive!
You're getting played by some puppets, don't you have a trick up your sleeve?
Minion! Knock this freak with the forget-me stick!



Robbie Rotten Verse 2 (1:52)
Let me disguise myself as Metroman! so you acknowledge that you lost this battle,
Too bad your memes couldn't help your movie reach the top of the barrel!
I'm perfect! Just look at my presence, I'm owning you on the mic so here's my two cents!
You better gather up your bots, so they can write you a decent rhyme!
Stealing a plot despicably? Now that's a greedy crime!
Looks like you're feeling a bit melancholy, did this squid lose his tennis balls?
Since you struggled to keep up with the Number One!
Your bars will always be crashing down, like Titan's Walls!
I'm done, I will be dropping this mic, like the beginning of your movie, But you already met your demise!

Megamind Vs Robbie Rotten - Rap Battles From a Robot

For this battle, two dream demons duke it out. Who has the cutting edge? You decide!

The video is on the way!

Alex M. as Freddy Krueger
Cri as Darkrai
JesseBoxVO & D3_sp41r as the Elm Street Girls
Beat produced by Hollywood Legend
Mixed by Serena
Thumbnail by JK03
Art by Lazer
Written by Jacobrl99, Birdjormungandr, and Special Inquisitor Rayyan
Additional Writing Help by SPM1000, Raisu Battle, and Awesome Ayden

The Elm Street Girls:
One, two, Freddy’s coming for you 
Three, four, said he’d muddy your lore
Five, six, blinded by his eclipse
Seven, eight.. 

Freddy Krueger:
Ending your Dark Reign, bitch!
Cut from the same thread, yet you come apart at the seams,
This tame threat Banette needs an ability to wreak Bad Dreams
I’m the achieved beat sweeper, the Elm Street reaper,
Intruding pleasant dreams, wet sheets drowning deep sleepers
This mother-pucker’s weak to fairies while wearing that awful scarf?
I think I’d know a Derry Queen sucking the soul from ITs vanilla arc
Dark Void as a signature, fucking forged by a beagle
Avoiding other villagers to protect them from my Dream World
Prone on the weak, since damaged souls make me whole
“Bon appetit, bitch”, banished to atone as a lonely ghost

Darkrai:
Wes Craven a New Nightmare, couldn’t find the right scare
You should’ve stopped right there, with the way you write scares
If you wanna fight fair, step into the light Fred
I’ll show you how the night ends, with your fuckin’ ninth death
It’s Darkrai, the dark type that’s casting fright on this pedophile
With harsh rhymes, of dark times when cast back, I’ll end the life
Of a child, stuck in denial, of Amanda’s haunted actions
Piling fathers like Spiritomb, the bastard son of 100 madmen!
Don’t need to use the real world for me to expose ‘ya
Wes went shopping for Serial Killers forming Freddy Kroger!
This Dex offender’s packed with Bundy, BTK, and Manson
Geez, with how you prey on kids, you need a seat with Chris Hansen!
Since your relevance has faded, nights are spent with another Freddy
With your cheesy puns and greasy mug, I’m sure they have a job ready!

Freddy Krueger:
“The souls of children give me strength”, fucker, try to understand
Will he, Freddy Krueger, take Alice to Wonderland?
I’ll unplug you for an upper hand ‘cause power is my toy, bitch!
Exploiting your weak spots as if I’m pulling off the void glitch!
Never will I ever, weather another lecture
From a lesser specter, bested by a feather
The crescent is better, prevents all your efforts,
sweatin’ her presence, waning for her pleasure
Ask Rick-San how I get my kicks in, I’ve mastered striking swipes
Shouldn’t mess with MK’s best, bitch! Aren’t ya weak to fighting types?
I mean looking at your fanbase? Shit, I thought my glove was edgy
When I banish you like Palkia, tell ‘em you were sent by Freddy!

Darkrai:
I’m not affected by your rhymes, I’ll protect Alice through the night
Hex him with his reflection, then Freddy’s Dead by Daylight
I’m bested by insects, yet your Nasty Plots truly bug me
Film after Film, Kill after Kill, this bastard’s never evolving!
Your trivial Pursuit’s revolting, Boo into Bo, everyone sleeps on you
Not a peep, this marred Mareep counts sheep to find actual use
Tensions boiled over on Elm Street when you ran out of steam
Because preying on teens won’t make this nightmare a Dream
Like Jason, Super-Freddy’s unmasked in this year’s masquerade
Shackled to the Bargain Bin, the rap battle slave is left a basketcase

Darkrai vs Freddy Krueger - Pokémon vs Anything!

RNG As Ryoma Hoshi

AdamDRB as Ben Shapiro

Beat: Payback by Dave James of Audio Network

Mixed by: Danii

Written by: RNG

Ben:(0:11)
This week I was called to battle the former ultimate tennis pro
who doesn't know that I was built by stating facts into a microphone
So today he’s getting owned and as this smackdown's host
Welcome I’m Ben Shapiro and this is the Ben Shapiro show
Say theoretically you were even a small threat to me
Sure youre a serial killer but with no stepstool you cant get to me
The last time you won anything it ended with bullets in your family
Your games corrupt the innocence of youth that you never got to see
Getting banned in Korea's one of the best things the east got right
Violence killing and icest should have no chance in the spotlight
You know i'm rapping toxic simply stating facts and logic 
You’ll get dropped kid like your bod did
You only hit net, losses!

Ryoma:(0:50)
It's not like i was expecting some sort of family visit
But who's this? The tragic backstory of Disney's saddest villain?
I dont think ultimate faux intellectual's a real talent
So are you here cause you finally decided to learn how to can it
I must be lifes punching bag cause when you throw shots i bounce back
But nothings sadder than the fact that waps your better soundtrack
Mental gymnastics is the only way you'd be a gaming pro
but the balls in your court and you've still got a ways to go-

Ben:(1:17)
Please! I'm not really getting called the biggest dweeb
By the human embodiment of r/im14andthisisdeep
Cause In your sleeps the only time you'd have hope to win at all
So you are part of the woke mob, cause you're getting owned liberal!
No surprise you flow barebones you're just the shell of eminem
Your racket just aint ballin, so get carried by your friends again
You gotta score more than love in a scrum debate of flow game
Cause i bring the climate change, I'm melting this snowflake

Ryoma:(1:41)
Im not surprised you would be more boring in rap
You should have had lines written by your keyboard warrior gang 
Amazing how you said nothing even with all of that talking and
If your careers the topic then bud, you can call me Aquaman
Run to your wifes room and cry bout getting crushed by better men
that's probably the only time that you'd be why she's getting wet
Shingujis less sus bout his sister so bro you should give it up
Cause my truth bullet says it was your alt calling her a milk truck
I tower over you like Cruz so don't go dissing my height
Dont need shuichi to see the fact that he isnt 5'9
And in a back and forth game your odds come up shorter as well
(Heh) You should've known I'd break a corporate shell

Ben Shapiro vs Ryoma Hoshi - RNG Rap Battles

Welcome to the thirteenth installment of “Quick Diss”! We got two old bastards gitting-gud today! (maybe) It's the eldest Kong who hates these sissy modern video games, Cranky! Stuck up against our favorite grandad…Grandad! (Uncreative as fuck)

Lyrics:
Cranky Kong:
The old battles went far harder when I was a young' un
No slow babbles about their plot and something something
Used to flow, scrabble, to make something rhyme with nothing!
But this old asshole has so much dirt I guess I dug it!
Boy, I hop with a stick but you'll be catching hands
Got four of them, but your forehead is massive damn!
I mean, I'm an ape, my hairline shouldn't exist!
But I've seen water levels less deep than that abyss

Robert Freeman:
Okay bruh, kinda don't know what to say, uhh
I'm a civil rights activist and yo' games…suck
Yeaa boi! This ain't the first diss track I've made hun'
Just another Stinkmeaner I'm going ape on
You're miserable, but that wasn't hard to see
Rocking in your chair stopping your grandson from rocking, wee!
I'd do the same to be honest, sheesh!
But he's an adult, hoarding food from all the peeeeps!
Mhm, you're getting coconut creamed crooked guy
And even then you still wouldn't be a cutie pie
Old fart, you a hater and you'll stay angry
Like, Crankyy, Crankyyy-eee-ee-eee

Cranky Kong:
That's your first filling of SOMETHING in a while eh?
It's no wonder you made it your entire say
Call that below the belt! Of course I'm rude
You get no tail while I have none, so what's your excuse?
I see Kongs and I help with their anguish needs
You sold both your grandsons to slavery.
That lifespan, the gripes haved with your grandkids
'Betcha won't get much further than this…

Robert Freeman:
Funky ass bitch! But really, what's the point man?

Cranky Kong:
Do we… rhyme during this joint rap?

Robert Freeman:
Uh yeah, dammit! You ruined our ending

Cranky Kong:
Man, can it, this whole thing was dead, hee!

-CAST-
Cranky Kong: swizkii
Robert Freeman: Danii

-PRODUCTION-
Thumbnail by: JaCoN
Written by: JaCoN
Beat: https://drive.google.com/file/d/13S5qj-htna2R_HeZQwJVLbMUYyjhv-_9/view?usp=drivesdk
Beat Produced by: Tune Seeker
Mixed by: JaCoN and Danii

Robert Freeman vs Cranky Kong - (Quick Diss) #13

The battle of the sinister house cleansing games!

VinnyO as Phasmophobia
https://www.youtube.com/@VinnyO
MidgeCat as Powerwash Simulator
https://www.youtube.com/@MidgeCat

Quizzique as Player 1
RaccoonBro as Player 2
garbageGothic as Player 3

Written by Quizzique

Mixed by Special Inquisitor Rayyan

Beat by Dansonn

Thumbnail TBD

Lyrics:
Phasmophobia (0:14):
Player 1: I’ve got fingerprints in the garage, must be where the spectre’s been
Player 2: It can’t be a poltergeist, this place is obsessively clean
Player 3: I found the bone, he’s been dead a LONG time, I’ll photo it later
Phasmophobia: Based on that, this must be the ghost of Powerwash Simulator

You couldn’t do what I do, you couldn’t even try, dude
Unearthing the truth you can call it Mauka Aitu
Exercised with demons, spitting quicker than a Raiju
You drench locations, quite enjoyable for Psytube

My game’s built to stress you out
One bad hunt and it’s all over
Your game’s made for spacing out
Makes sense your first job is a Mars rover

Speaking of, those jobs are uncomfortably lame
With as much consistency as your company name
To think you have fame, you’re living in Fantasies
Your stardom’s a snapshot, even the phantom sees

Your fandom’s just a spirit, and I bet you couldn’t fight one
Despite your HQ, I can see you’re not a Bright one
You’re just cash for your producer’s grab
Workshop that in a FuturLab

Powerwash Simulator (0:59):
I don’t get it, I’m supposed to be scared? Your game hasn’t been scary in years
I played it once, I bullied a ghost using smudge sticks, it had me in tears
But there is one fear, I have seen all of those ghost altercations
Yet the only thing that scares me is your Discord’s moderation

Let’s turn up the jets, the job that’s up next is your atmosphere because I can’t see a thing
In your lobby, when there’s a spectre, who would elect to this gang of misfits, nobody shall ring
It’s just a hobby, you get paid pennies to risk your life plenty of times for some strangers
Your rep is soggy, unlike my cleanup, it’s spotless! You just can’t live up to the dangers

I see no positives in your services, your system’s coarse by design
You don’t even get rid of the ghost for the host, yet you leave a few corpses behind
Your system has declined, too, because what defined you was “simple to play”
“Cheesy scares for days” yet every update has undermined you 
Triple the content yet half the enjoyment, that’s what resigned you

I’m the embodiment of r/oddlysatisfying
It takes patience and time, but the result is quite gratifying
Cleaning disastrous aftermath’s a cakewalk to the contracts you’re ratifying
The slightest of flickering lights would leave your scared ass panic hiding

Phasmophobia (1:58):
For someone that cleans after fires, I thought you would have spit some flames
Yet look at my thermometer, you’re colder than a ghost’s domain 
Your job’s not done yet because it seems your target’s not acquired
The only way you’d pull a win financially’s with Market pliers

Powerwash Simulator (2:13):
That’s your best comeback? Makes sense it’s lackluster
Don’t update the game if that’s all you can muster
You got the roast wrong, and that’s the end of the case, so
For you to spit some heat we’ll toss you into our volcano

You’re Power-washed up, and your fight was pathetic
Your corpse has ragdolled, but that’s purely cosmetic
I’ve removed this stain and it’s somewhat poetic
That your motion is over, that’s the end of Kinetic

Phasmophobia Vs PowerWash Simulator | QUIZZICAL QUARRELS #3 (feat. VinnyO and MidgeCat)

LYRICS:

ANNOUNCER
Let’s give it up for Stark’s Rap Battles!
Doc Brown and Marty McFly vs. Unus Annus!
Begin!

Doc and Marty (0:13):
Great Scott, Marty! We’ve finally arrived in 2022!
Ah jeez Doc, that’s heavy! We got any roasting fuel? Plenty, dude!
I’ve calculated the precise kinds of slights, said in such a tone and way that-
A coward and his masochist friend would have no chance of coming back

Unus & Annus (0:26):
Sorry to cut you off, Doctor, but time waits for no one, that’s absolutely true,
And like sand slipping through the Hourglass of Time, the end has come for you, too
We pride ourselves on our knowledge of death… And we embrace the end to come!
You tryna rap fast to surpass 88, but your track is barely passed mile one

Doc and Marty (0:39):
Your influence was just a grain of sand compared to our pop culture prowess
I mean cooking with sex toys, eating oobleck? It’s like their whole channel was just a loud mess!
This bad fad, cash grab cult’s got its whole moral philosophy in question
They’ll need something stronger than helium for their post-loss therapy session

Unus & Annus (0:52):
We’re Hunger Games victors, your defeat’s in the pictures, it’s clear that we’ve won
When you attempt your best to flex your predictability, surprising no one!
Your movie might be a cult classic, but we leave viewers truly awe-stricken
We’re drawin’ the line, leaving you petrified, hypnotizing another couple chickens

Doc and Marty (1:05):
Nobody calls me chicken! (Nope!) You just hunt for YouTube clickin’! (True!)
With all of that dairy around, you’re really milkin’ the content you’re fixin’
It’s really truly pathetic, with your “who’s the better host?” drama
This battle will be your biggest regret;  Even more than Pee Sauna!
I mean really, a pee sauna? What exactly were you two thinking?
Looking to your fans for more content? Not even Chica could save you from sinking!
I’ve never seen anything cornier than these Del morons begging for sponsorships!
But based on reuploads, Mark, this battle would be another time you’ve lost your shit

Unus & Annus (1:32):
Is anybody home? I don’t think so, think McFly, think!
You take the most minor inconveniences, find time to make a big stink-
And then you get your little happy ending, plot barren and you’re callin’ us corny?
It’s clear to see you’re history, when your biggest legacy is Rick and Morty

Doc and Marty (1:45):
You’re limiting yourselves with all your antics, face it: You’re just. Boxed. In.
Just give it a year and you’ll be forgotten just like. Tiny. Box. Tim.
(Both): Your whole channel was full of whack shit, black and white melts into bad trips
So just go back to being the King of FNaF and sad act Mr. Backflip

Unus & Annus (1:58):
Not even hitting your head again could help you get ahead and come up with a better flow
Spitting verbal manure on the track, but what does your pocket letter show?
Your fate’s been sealed and signed! Face your density, you’ll see you’re past your prime
We’re pronouncing rhymes, committing crimes, and you’re bound to find you're OUTATIME
As we wind down the clock and reflect as this song and dance that won’t be played again
You’re coughing inside a boxed-up coffin that you wanna call a Delorean
It’s too bad we won’t see you tomorrow, so hush now, don’t make a fuss
Farewell you two, Memento Mori, Unus… Annus…

ANNOUNCER
Who won… THIS time?
Who do you wanna see battle next?
Well, you decide!
This has been Stark’s Rap Battles! We’ll see you tomorrow!

Snakebite126 as Unus
Hatena360 as Annus
Alex M. as Doc Brown
Zawesome as Marty McFly

Written by: Michael Stark, Jenni No Mercy, CannibalWorms, GamingPlush64, Mason G, Dilly!, & Danii
Produced by Tristan
Mixed by Michael Stark

Back To The Future vs. Unus Annus - Stark's Rap Battles

-LYRICS-

ANNOUNCER
Welcome, weary traveler, to Cyphers of the Unknown
Today's matchup is: Zalgo
Against
Cthulhu
Commence!

Zalgo  (0:31):
Your cult rooms will be filled with gore as HE COMES to leave his mark
On this hentai monster who’s become nothing but joke fuel for South Park
Looking Sad, Satan? I've been waiting a century for you to spit a good rap
What kind of Dark Lord gets squashed by a sword that shoots out kitty cats?!
Read the text Squidward, my plague starts to spread ‘cross the land
To wipe out this gimmick with relevance more dead than the star that’s in my hand
Please! My candle’s light outshines all that you can spit in this
Kelly’s carnage incarnate’s bars leave squids sleeping with the fishes
You’re no Necronom-icon, forgotten when ‘zilla hit the stage
Telling me you got into politics? I’d still rather vote for Kanye!
Best go back to startling gamers, for ZALGO is seven times the rapper
This little munchkin’s been tarnished and now we can start the next chapter

Cthulhu (1:17):
Zalgo claims to be a god, but he’s barely short of the Funnies
And even when this comic’s stripped down, he’s just a comfort cryptid for some sentient monkeys
So fear the Call of Cthulhu, a true Lovecraftian creation
You’re an outdated fad meme, rejected by the SCP Foundation
This Deviant’s Art is tasteless! Creepypasta crap, ever so bland
The corniest of TV Tropes can’t even flee from his own cartoon land
And the mic clips? Messy text? That’s your method of inflicting pain?
Being eyeless won’t help, just hearing my bars will make you go insane!
Your lyrics? Unspeakable, while in my stories I’m the pinnacle, invincible
The hivemind hides rhymes behind whines, you’ll find his lines are miserable
Archie’s comical to think anyone’s fooled by his flippant trickery
Just check Behind The Wall and see it’s me who’s taking the victory
Seven goddamn mouths, you’d think at least one would try to win
Quite un-4chan-ate, but I’ll still be leaving this flightless Bird- Boxed- in
I’M THE EMBODIMENT OF CHAOS, BUT IF HE’S INSISTENT ON PERSISTENCE
I’LL CONTROL HIM, ALTERNATE HIS LIFE, AND DELETE HIM FROM EXISTENCE

Zalgo (2:17):
That’s enough from the kraken, thought I told you to shut it
This is boring me, let's see how you fare with one of my puppets…

Zalgo as Garfield (2:25):
(Yawn) What’s this? It looks like Jon tried making calamari
But I’ll boot ‘em off the track like Odie, and this time, I’m not sorry

Zalgo (2:32):
Z͜͡͡AL͟͡G҉́Ò '͢͞S͟ ̀͡A͝͡R͠R̷̛IV̢̛E҉͞D̡ ͞A̸̶Ń̢D̴̵ ̀I̡T͏͠' ͠҉͡S̶ ͏U̷N̸͏̢W̷̴̡IS͜É ̀T̷̷͞O̧ ̧̀T͟͏͝H͝͏I͞N҉K͟҉ ͟͞T͘͞HA̛T͜͟ Ý̢OU҉̶ ̵̡̛C̷̨͝AN̡͢ ҉̡̕D͘͞E̶FE҉A̧͜T HI͡M͡
C̷͠͏A̢͜ŲS̡͘È H̀͢E͟ '͜҉̨ĹL̵͘ ̀C̵OR̛̕R̵͘Ù́̀P̷T҉ ̡YǪ͠U̶͘R̴̨͢ ̛́M̷ED͏̷̀I҉̡A͞,̸ ̶̧LE͏A̸͞V̛I̛͞͠N̸Ģ̧̡ ͝Y̶O͠͝U͘R ̢̨͞P͠A̸̡T͢H͝E̡T̨Ì͜C̶̵ ͠B̷ǪOK҉̕S͜͝ ̵͡T̵O̵̢R̀N̡ ̵T̕O ͢͝PI̴E̴͏C̀E̕S̡
Such a Weird Tale that you’ve woven, claiming to be superior to me
It’s Something Awful really, but now I’ve finally put an end to your series

Cthulhu (2:47):
Really? A puppet show to fight me in this battle? Honestly, it’s your Loss
But Dream No More, heathen, this is the only time our paths will cross
Your lines just put me back asleep, facing a god’s not something you should risk
They said “Zalgo’s coming”, but even after this I’m still waiting for a good diss…
(Malevolently Chuckles)

ANNOUNCER
Who conquered the mic?
Who Should Cypher Next?
Comment Down Below
And prepare yourselves for the next
Cyphers of The Unknown

Vladimyr P
Michael Stark
Matthew Thomas
MetalFireVA
Fightmarker
Commander Jacob
M!CAH as Zalgo

Mancha as Cthulhu

Written By: Michael Stark, M!CAH, ColeTheCole & Cri
Produced By: Dansonn
Mixed By: Michael Stark

Zalgo vs. Cthulhu - Cyphers Of The Unknown

Hello everyone and welcome to the premiere of Reboot Rap Battles! The series where we take iconic matchups and put our own spin on it! In this premiere episode, we have the personifications of two of the most polarizing concepts in internet culture, Cryptocurrency and Astrology!

Zagranis as Astrology Girl
JustGamer as Cryptobro
Written by JustGamer and Zagranis
Beat Produced by 2Deep
Beat Arranged by Zagranis
Mixed by Zagranis
Cover art by Zagranis
Art by Grenade
Logo by Commander Jacob

Cryptobro:
Rolling in dough, rolling in with hoes, yea you know it’s the CRYP-TO-BRO
Mess with me then you’ll end up like an NFT, this bitch I’ll own 
Worth pennies when we started, now topping the stock market, I’ll kick your ass next
Cause who’s dumb enough to base their personality on when their parents had sex??

Astrology Girl:
In all of my years looking up at the stars, didn’t think I’d be battling this
Chronically online manchild who spends stacks on stacks for some chimps
Take a glimpse at your impending loss hun, it’s all in the cards
If you wanna alienate follow daddy musk all the way to fucking mars

Cryptobro:
While you were claiming your view’s ethereal, I’m out here making my Ethi real 
So let’s quit the talk of that cheesy spiel 
I’m on that grinding mindset with my time spent finding what will rise high next
So don’t end up surprised if I’m taking over the world wide web 
While you’re sitting around waiting for the universe to be in your favor
Crying to your friends like: “It’s Virgo season, not my fault I’m a hater!”
Don’t need to trace a shape to dictate your fate, I can end you with one dope line
Now watch as the star girl shoves crystals up where the sun don’t shine

Astrology Girl:
Your currency’s basis lacks information
My planets are lining up in formation

Cryptobro:
Bitch lemme know who the fuck asked
For you to talk about a lack of facts

Astrology Girl:
Sit back, relax, breathe, let the normie get it out of his system
He doesn’t realize what he’s doing is wrong, so let me list ‘em
NFTs are the enviroment’s cancer, a pfp for out of touch actors
Don’t think I’ve seen a single thing sadder, online you’re a god, real life you’re a slacker
I spend my life, helping people find their inner strength and improve their lives
You peddle lies, but don’t realize, you’re bringing the world to its demise
Spending hours mining the blockchain, trying his best to wisecrack haters
All to childishly defend some dated pixel art, like a Minecraft player! 

Cryptobro:
You’re fucking obnoxious, do all Aries need to act so defiant?  
You can try to deny it but there’s only proof for one of us rooted in science
I’m science fiction, your science is fiction, don’t you get it? You’ll always be wrong 
So yea check the profile pic, the shape says it all, you’re Hexa-gone

Astrology Girl:
This basic sigma male is truly token, but you’ve got no worth even in an arcade 
So insignificant, you could take a page from me and listen to what the stars say 
When you’re laying down, broke and in debt, wondering what went wrong with your life
From the beginning you were destined to fail, you should’ve taken the signs

Cryptobro vs Astrology Girl

Chaotic Rap Battles as Stan
JesseBox as Harley Quinn

Beat by Lucy Beatz II
Written, Mixed, and Edited by Matt Raichous

-LYRICS-
HARLEY
Grilling a shilling maniac villain ain’t thrilling
But the tea’s gone cold, so I might as well spill it
Don’t know where to start with those scenarios you brought up
Sweating hard and looking like you drank a fifth of vodka
I read your letters, and I thought I was crazy
You’re no Slim, but there’s no doubt you’re Shady
Blast you back to Pete Davidson if you think you’re beating me
Must be something wrong with you, I’m guessing it’s BPD
Meant to represent a parasocial wackjob
Instead you’re namesake of kids who love K-Pop
Shoulda loved your girlfriend, you needed one another
‘Bout to leave this battle quicker than you left your little brother

STAN
Dear, Quinn! I wrote you, but you still ain’t get the message
That the clown you fuckin’ with ain’t worth a third of your obsession
What’s up with that, I thought you was a brainiac (huh?)
How’d you get tangled up with a fuckin’ egomaniac
Bad Meets Evil when you’re fighting with me
How ‘bout I cut this bitch to see how much she bleeds
Ms. Too-Good-For-My-Career, running ‘round with a fuckin’ flower
Fuckin’ crying and sounding like you could use a thousand downers
Tie you up and lock you in my mother fuckin’ trunk, bitch
Drown you in my flow, off a bridge, like I’m drunk, bitch
didn’t need a Bat to beat The Joker’s biggest fan
Sincerely, yours, the man with the dub in his hand, Stan

Stan vs. Harley Quinn - Saturday Morning Rap Bonus

Dani Frias as Happy Appy and the Good Doctor
JustGamer as Dr. Kawashima, Dr. Evil, Dr. Strange, Dr. Han
Written by JustGamer
Additional Help by Danii
Beat by Anywaywell, Syko, Epistra, Dansonn
Mixed by Danii
Cover art by Rabi

Dr. Kawashima:
Hello I’m Dr. Kawashima, neuroscientist
When my mind is sharp, and on time, there is no out-rhyming this
It’s undebated, I stay Brain Ageless
You were flavor of the month, but this apple’s tasteless
Your creator expanded on the story in hopes that it would stay
I couldn’t finish a micro game before you lost all your fame
With that, I hope to see you back tomorrow to play again
Cause with the two of us, I ate you up, that makes a perfect ten

Happy Appy:
Howdy children! Happy Appy’s back to spit some more!
Today’s opponent looks like MODOK on N64!
And I’m not talking planes when I say that I’m the flyest
When all you helped with was to justify the existence of a stylus!
A game based on a book? How’d you ever get attention?
Even I’m not as insistent with teaching kids lessons
You’re slowly being replaced with other brain teaser games
But an apple a day will keep this doctor away!

Dr. Evil:
It’s time for Dr. Evil to become be the best rapper
I’m eating this track up like I was Fat Bastard
I have rap laser lines, best of luck bozo
And if you win I’ll go back in time and steal your mojo
Spitting image of evil spitting in this dope ass outfit
A stick up your butt is what you walk around in?
And the way you scare children, you must be clownin’
Why go for nine eleven when you can have a thousand?!

Happy Appy:
Ooo seems this spitter’s come up short like a Mini Me
Ooo no villain from your squad could help you kill the beat
It’s in your name but you’ll be surprised to find you’re
Third place in the ranks of Evil Mike Myers
Tearin' this parody 'cause he can't outflow
Should be aware as a funny spoof film? How 'bout no?
And with two decades later, your movies’ fame fully fades
But an apple a day will keep this doctor away!

Dr. Strange:
Stephen Strange enters the battle, I’ve come to bargain
Got the Eye of Aga-dope flow to make my bars hit!
Even Wong wouldn’t…….oh no……

Dr. Han:
Dr. Murphy please let’s continue this conversation at a later point if we can
There’s some sort of cross mix between Annoying Orange and an apple, let’s get him on a medication plan
There he goes, he’s a good doctor though he can be a strongly erratic man
But at least he’s great at saving the kids that you tried to kill inside of your van

Seriously, targeting children? That shit’s truly sick
Are Roblox threads how you find those kids? 
I work at a hospital, I’ve seen plenty of gore
But that horror makes me wanna shake you at the core
Better keep my mask on when I’m spitting with flow
Make a bigger splash than you with only four episodes
Syringes don’t scare me, nor will they hurt me
Leave this apple roasted when I’m fired up like Murphy

Happy Appy:
Wanna talk about firings, well how about yours?
Don’t let that bad writing hit you on your way out the door
And your show knows it’s pretty easy to make you the villain
But you’ll end up LIKE MIRANDA, WHEN I GET TO KILLING
I ENTER THE HOSPITAL LIKE A PLAGUE UPON THE LAND
WITH BLOOD THAT ISN’T MINE SPLATTERED ALL ACROSS MY HANDS
DR. HAN DIES NASTY, WHEN I BRANDISH A BLADE
CAUSE AN APPLE A DAY KEEPS THIS DOCTOR AWA-

Dr. Han:
That’s enough out of you, you think those scary words and that creepypasta could make me give a fuck?  
Well you might as well call me Nick Jr Appy, cause I’m about to go ahead and pull the plug
No need for Forenziks, I’m able to find that it was boredom that killed all of your thrills
You want something that will really terrify people? Wait until I send you the bill

Dr Kawashima vs Happy Appy - Smash Bros vs Anything

Who won? http://www.strawpoll.me/18850111

Dee as Z̢͡A̶̧̛̛͜Ĺ̢͠G̢̀Ơ̷
Nekomancer as Marcel Duchamp

Beat by Sean Divine
Mixed by Dee and Freshy Kanal
Thumbnail by Nekomancer
Written by Nekomancer

Z̢͡A̶̧̛̛͜Ĺ̢͠G̢̀Ơ̷:
HE͞ ̶CO͞M͢E͢S̨ INTO ҉BAT͡TL͟E, ͠A̛N I͠NF̵INĮTE HIV͟E̶M͝I̴ND ̶TO B͠LAZ̨E O̵FF͜
̧IN̨VO̕K̛ING A͠ĢA̕INST TH́È ̨INFER͏I̶OR EX̢CU͢SÈ OF ART̵IST́IC̸ ͞“CH͞A̕OS͏”̶
AG͟A͞I͡NS͡T̷ ḨIM͠, ̴NȨZP̨E͘RD͏IAN’S̢ BES̴T͝ ̴P͘UT̴TING I̧N ́AGAINS̀T҉ YOUR ͏ṔA͘T͝HO҉S
TO LEA̡VE̶ TH̛E͜ ͢C͘R͠ƠWD̸ SC͡REA͘M̷I̶N̕G M̛Y ŃĄM͞E͡ IN ̵M̧O͘RE TH̀AN͘ J̕US̵T҉ ̧AP̵PLAŲS̷E͘
Z̵͜͞A̡҉͠L̴̢͝G͘͟O̸҉!̵̧̨ T̸HE͢ V͢ERY EM̧B̨ODIME̢NT̷ O͜F̕ ́D͞I̵S͝OR̢DER͠
CAN'T ORDER ̢DIS͟S͠ES̀ AGAI̴NS̕T ̨T͝HIS D͢I̧SS O͜RDER! ̡B̀R̛I͟N͠Ǵ ̷T͘HI͟S HO͜ŔROR̡ I͜N Q͟U̡ICK ̡O̢RDE̶R͜!
̶TH͝I̡S͢ T҉OR͡T͡URE ͜F͏RO͟M͜ ͡TH͏E HIGH͘EST ̡HOLY KNI̕GHT̛ D́EM͟AŃDS Y͡OU͞ TO ̕K̸NE҉EL
'LES͝T͢ ͢T̡HE E͝T́ER͜N̡A͢L CR̴I͘MS͞O͡N ͡GOD̨ ̨LEAVES ̷Á ̶DĘCAY̶ ̡ THAT YOU C͏A͡N'̛T̷ ̡H͢ÉA͢L͟
F͜UC̨K͡ C͞TH̴U҉L͘HU, I̛'M̢ T҉HE TRUE̷ C̷O͝S͝MIC ͜H̷OR̵RO̴R ̸O̸N ͠TH͡E ͝S̢LA̶TE
́OV͢ER̶SH͠AD̸OW̸E͜D͞ H.P.,̵ Y̡ET ͡TH̡E ̡WO͢RDS ͢THĄT́ I ͟-C̕R̷A͟FT ͢A̶RE P̀UR͜E̵ ̀H̷A̵TE҉!
͘W̢IT͡H ÝOU͠R̶ SO҉CI̢ETAL D̸ÉCA̢Y̡ ҉T̡H͏AT COUL̴D̕ EVĘN ̡G̨IVE͠ ̨ME̢ ̷S҉CA͢RES,͠
I͜T SE̕E͟MS TH̸AT͠ THI̴Ś SO-C̕AL͜L҉ȨD͟ "͢ĆƯBI̸S͝T" IS ̛MORE ̵FITTING A̛S̨ A ̷S̷QU͝ARE͏

Marcel Duchamp:
Av-en garde to hives of the maimed, you'd best jot down what we say
Leave a mage decayed and laid back from whence He Came
How pitiful that none of those seven mouths could attempt to hurt
Comic Strip egos even harder than a Bride By Her Bachelors
Leaving no fourth Wall for you to hide behind in weary handles
‘Cause I thought we already had Lord English battles Du this -cha-nnel!
I thought we praised font readability when it comes to puny blows
But I ought to be a dia-critic when you’re the one abusin’ unicode
I’m being Étant donnés no reason to take blokes seriously on thread screens
For, every tread seam this red fiend gets is at-best-dead memes
The single thing I admire from this sentinel’s regrettable;
that you’re so Grotesque that your “art” is nowhere near the retinal!

Z̢͡A̶̧̛̛͜Ĺ̢͠G̢̀Ơ̷:
RET̕INAL̨?̧! ̧ALL͞ I SĘE͢ W̛ITH͠ M̶Y IN͟FI̶NITE ̷"̡NAKED̴"͟ ̵E̕YE҉ ͡IN̶ S͠TARE͡ P͏LA̡CÈ
̡I̵S ̴YOU͞R̶ L͝YRI̛C̕ QUA̕L͏ITÝ D͜E͏SCEND̷ING ̵F͝UR̷TH͏E̵R ̷THAN͘ YOUR ͞S͜T̕A͘IRCAS͞E
L̛O̧OK ̵IN THE ͟LARGE҉ ͟LO̧O͘K̡ING̶ ͜G̵LA̴SS͝; Y̢O͟U͟R WH͢OLE CARE͟ĘR͏ ̵WA̸S A͞ M̴ISSTEP
W͘H͞EN̨ ҉T͏HE NE̢O-D͟ADDY̛ O͢F̕ T̡H͏E ̧MOV̡E̵M͟E͟NT F̷AI͞L̡E͡D ̴T̴O̵ R̵EFO͢R̴M͏ ON͞E̵ ͝C̷O͟N͜CE̡PT͝
AS̢ ̸E͠NLIG̡HTE̶NM͞E͠NT̷ I҉N ͡HOLY̕ LI͏ĢHT̀ SHIN̷ES ͞BL̷AC̨K IŃ ̸E͘V̵ĘR̶Y̕ PAN͜EL, ͡
T̀A̧KÈ Y̵OUR ̷PĄIN͏T̸ A͞N̶D̵ ZAL̵-̕GO̢ BĄC̀K͡ ̕T̵O͠ THE͜ ҉SĘCTIO̧N D'̀O̵Ŕ C͟H̀ANN̛E̢L̡

Marcel Duchamp:
Please, you get pissier every second than my Fountain submission piece
So little material to diss, it’s impossible for us to Know Your Meme
Because as I flip the roles on this asswhipped rot brainlet,
this series has become Modernist versus Classic Paint.NET!
While the internet degrades you as a second fiddle of the Slender kind,
your Photoshop’s so basic, it couldn’t even please the EDITOR’s mind!

Z̢͡A̶̧̛̛͜Ĺ̢͠G̢̀Ơ̷:
ŃĮC̡É ́TR͢Y M̧E̛R̴E MORT̸AL҉,͠ BÚT ̨YOU͟’͏VE ͝S̶O̕METHI͞NGĄW̢F͘U͠L̕ ͞CO͜N͠S̡TAN̸TL͘Y͘ REHEARS̨E̕D́:
̛R̀E͠PEA͏TIN̸G͞ ҉T͢H͠E̴ ͢S̢AME͏ ͏F͠U̴C̸K̨I̧NG̸ ͘J͘O̷K͟E ÌN EV̀E͡RY͝ ̸SI̢N͘G̀LE͝ V͜ERSE
A̡ ͜L͘IT̷ERAL̀ "B̷LOOD̡Y͡ ̸H̸E̡LL͜" I͡S͟ SE͡EIN͡G͘ A B̸L͟ÉE͠DI̧NG͜ ̸A̡F̶F́I͢ǸIŢY
CO͜UL͠DN'T̨ ̶C͢OMPR͡E̕HEN̵D ͡A̷ ̨F͜LOW͢? ͝Ỳ̷̷͜Ơ̷͡U̧̨͟͡C̶̢A̶̧N͠͠Ņ̵̨O̸̴̵̡T̶̶̡Ć͜O͏̶̷̛͘M̶͞Ṕ̢̢͜R̢É̢̧͢H̷҉͜͟͞E͟͢Ǹ̴̕̕D̴̀Í̵͠͞N̴͢͜͠F̢͝͡͏I̡̛Ń̀͡Ì̶̷͜T̨͏́Y̶̴͟͡͞

Marcel Duchamp:
So-called "creepypasta anti-gods" are on par with unwanted house guests
Et d'ailleurs, c'est toujours les autres qui meurent
Face it, you're a fragment of the past, outdated to handle a blow
Because what's your corrupted "art" and religion when I dismantle both?

[please never listen to my old battles] ZALGO vs MARCEL DUCHAMP || Modern versus Classic - #4

Epic Rap Battles of Nostalgic is an Epic Rap Battles of History style rap battle series with the focus of using nostalgic fictional characters.

Series run by Matt Raichous

Stan vs. Harley Quinn - Saturday Morning Rap Bonus

Epic Rap Battles of Nostalgia

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