Darn

Parody of "Ocean Man" by Ween.
Album art by Multiverse Cafe.

--LYRICS--

Engie Man
With a robot hand
Build dispensers and
Sentries in the sand

Engie Man
Take the teleporter to the front, was a good trip

Engie Man
You best have a plan man, or else you’re banned
Busting out the killstreaker Jag

Engie Man
Can you please put a sentry over here, near the giant fan

Engie Man
Those Spies are elusive, but don’t chase them
Or you’ll get trick stabbed

Engie Man
This defense isn’t going according to plan
Better use your killstreaker Jag

Engie Man
Engie Man
Engie Man

Ancle Dan
How’d you get your building
To appear in hand
From across the land

Ancle Dan
Your hats and your weapons are so cool, you’re so epic

Ancle Dan
For Crasmas I demand a vintage kratzcrag
I promise I’m your number one fan

Engie Man
Can you please put a sentry over there, near the broken van

Engie Man
Those Spies are elusive, but don’t chase them
Or you’ll get trick stabbed

Engie Man
This defense isn’t going according to plan
Whippin’ out that killstreaker Jag

Engie Man

Engie Man

Parody of "Choices (Yup)" by E-40.
--LYRICS--

Ever whiff on a shot? (Nope) 
Ever farm a bot? (Yeah)
Ever met somebody better? (Nope) 
Ever help an Engie out when he was low on his metal? (Yeah)
Spy sap? (Nope) 
You good player, you attack? (Yeah)
Lemme borrow that shotgun. (Nope) 
Think stuns are not fun? (Yeah)
Stock weapons every loadout? (Nope) 
When the gates open, go out? (Yeah)
Babysit a level one? (Nope) 
Boy you better run. (Yeah)
You a feeder? (Nope) 
Killer? (Yeah)
Email Eric? (Nope) 
Driller? (Yeah)
You building on last? (Nope) 
Now you upfront, beating on some ass? (Yeah)
Got a little killstreak? (Nope) 
Got a Godlike; gotta do it all week? (Yeah)
Spamming E for the Medic? (Nope) 
Pickin’ up the Medkit? (Yeah)
Bout’a die with your crits? (Nope) 
Rockin’ dope outfits? (Yeah)

Everybody builds sentries
I choose to build sentries on top of this shed
Everybody builds sentries
I’m shooting at dudes but they already dead
Everybody builds sentries
Keepin’ my name at the top of the board
Everybody builds sentries
These players be hatin’, I already dominate -

Never go down.
(No no no) I’mma stay and get metal (Yeah yeah yeah)
I ain’t gotta wear a crown.
(No no no) I’mma stay and get metal (Yeah yeah yeah)
If you dead, you ain’t like me.
(No no no) I’mma stay and get metal (Yeah yeah yeah)
I give a fuck if you don’t like me.
(No no no) I’mma stay and get metal (Yeah yeah yeah)

Lazy? (Nope)
Got a wrench that’ll drive a Spy crazy? (Yeah)
Mentor? (Nope)
Erectin’ a dispenser? (Yeah)
Trader? (Nope)
Loyal to your team; not a baiter? (Yeah)
Cheap? (Nope)
Play support to keep your team on their feet? (Yeah)
Scared of an Uber? (Nope)
You goofy goober? (Yeah)
Belly? (Nope)
Tele? (Yeah)
Miss everything and die? (Nope)
Check the corner for a Spy? (Yeah)
Trust us? (Nope)
Justice? (Yeah)
Drinkin’ like a Demo? (Nope)
Share a beer with a fella? (Yeah)
Pomson? (Nope)
Swanson? (Yeah)
Never leave the spawn without a hat. (Nope)
Punch a motherfucker with a “BAP”. (Yeah)
Never let a friendly live a second. (Nope)
Always on my toes, spy checkin’. (Yeah)

Everybody builds sentries
I choose to build sentries on top of this shed
Everybody builds sentries
I’m shooting at dudes but they already dead
Everybody builds sentries
Keepin my name at the top of the board
Everybody builds sentries
These players be hatin, I already dominate

Never go down
(No no no) I’mma stay and get metal (Yeah yeah yeah)
I ain’t gotta wear a crown
(No no no) I’mma stay and get metal (Yeah yeah yeah)
If you dead, you ain’t like me
(No no no) I’mma stay and get metal (Yeah yeah yeah)
I give a fuck if you don’t like me
(No no no) I’mma stay and get metal (Yeah yeah yeah)

NOPE

--LYRICS--

There's five people AFK and my team
Has just installed today and I've seen
At least three Spies with no idea
What is going on inside their brain?

There's no way to predict what you'll find
There's no way to understand the mind
Of a person with a half-a-brain
How can you know what that guy's gonna do?

There's five people AFK and my team
Has just installed today and I've seen
At least three Spies with no idea
What is fuckin' happening? WHAT THE FUCK IS HAPPENING?

There's five people AFK and my team
Has just installed today and I've seen
At least three Spies with no idea
What is going on inside their brain?

There's no way to predict what you'll find
There's no way to understand the mind
Of a person with a half-a-brain
How can you know what that guy's gonna do?

(La la la la la la)

There's no way to predict what you'll find
There's no way to understand the mind
Of a person with a half-a-brain
How can you know what that guy's gonna do?

There's five people AFK and my team
Has just installed today and I've seen
At least three Spies with no idea
What is going on inside their brain?

There's five people AFK and my team
Has just installed today and I've seen
At least three Spies with no idea
What is going on inside their brain?

Casual Mode Anthem

--LYRICS--

I was playing TF2 the other night
When I suddenly saw the most epic sight
A player on the other team all dressed in green
Brightest loadout of all humankind

We fought each other long and hard - both one on one
But he was dodging left and right, shooting his gun
And finally after a fair fight when he won
In the chat he dropped his Lenny Bind

Did you see that guy?
He’s so hip and fly
He’s the coolest guy
'Cause he’s got a Lenny Bind

Look at his weapon shine
Check out that funny sign
He has the superior mind
He got a Lenny-

Bind me to my word, this is the truth
The absolute coolest thing about the youth
Is their hilarious, original, clever quips
I wish that I could ever be that smooth

So when this Scout main owned me in a fight
I was speechless, no way to comeback to the bright
Funny and simply epic chat response
With nothing that could beat a Lenny Bind

Did you see that guy
He’s so hip and fly
He’s the coolest guy
'Cause he’s got a Lenny Bind

Just hang me out to dry
Cause I’m about to cry
Can I get my weapon signed?
He’s got a Lenny Bind

(Papi Break)

Did you see that guy?
He’s so hip and fly
He’s the coolest guy
'Cause he’s got a Lenny Bind

He shot me and I died
Then owned me with a bind
He’s confident and so kind
He's got a Lenny Bind

Lenny Bind

ft. iDubbbzTV & Mac

--LYRICS--

Guess who’s back 
Back again 
Uncle’s back 
Tell a friend 

Uncle’s back 
(x7) 

I’ve created a sentry 
‘Cause nobody wants a Dispenser no more 
They want a killer to deliver 
Well if you want Uncle, this is what I’ll give ya 
A little bitty Mini with a Widowmaker 
Couple shots that’ll straight up drop a medic and a heavy combo 
They hop to the restock closet 
As the round time left on the clock is fading 
And I’m top of the scoreboard, I’m dominating 

You kids in the comments can stop debating 
If I’ll make another mixtape, it’s long awaited 
I know you’re trying to blow a conch to save me 
But I’ve got five pocket medics on me baby 

I’m an Engineer fuckin’ wit' ya ears, tryin’ to keep things weird 
Tryin’ to show his peers 
That all you can do is sit here and call me queer 
But you’d never do this in a million years 

So, come on and build a gun on the hill 
Fuck that - a gun in your grill, and farmin’ the kills 
And get ready, cause this guy’s gonna rage-heavy 
I just hit three hundred thousand 
Fuck you Delfy! 

So lay back and let’s drink some beer 
And everybody, move up your gear 
‘Cause we need a little, dispenser here 
‘Cause I feel like playin’ Engineer 
(x2) 

Little nephews, it’s a wonder I get views 
All I do is jizz that my Engineer set rules 
I start feeling like the people with these views 
Have never watched a second of my channel 
And that’s cool 

He mains Engie, brain must be empty 
Started a revolution, pollutin’ the game state 
A Valve shill 
Well let me make things clear that Engineer 
Is the only thing a tiny bit weird 
Besides my white beard 

I never asked for this 
I never passed any class 
To read a mountain of sass 
But now I’m Batman 
Na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na 

Put a mask on when I wanna play a game of Badlands 
But then again, I can’t exactly take this shit for granted 
All I wanna do is show the world the Engie’s not a turtle 

It’s interesting - what I think is the best thing 
Interests these kids who watch vids, no resting 

Testing: your minds are free 
To have a thought that doesn’t involve what me 
And all the YouTubers think about what should be 
On the patch notes when it updates for free 

So lay back and let’s drink some beer 
And everybody, move up your gear 
‘Cause we need a little, dispenser here 
‘Cause I feel like playin’ Engineer 
(x2)

Feel Like Playin' Engineer (ft. IDubbbzTV & Mac)

Valve Drive Thru (ft. Ben Zimmer)

--LYRICS--

Nobody play with me 
Spies get away from me 
Waaaay... 
(Yeah! Yeah!) 

Ay, I require heavy sandwiches and medic overheal 
I’m about to make a fuckin’ play that Lucky Luke will feel 
Loaded all my shots, I’m in my spot with both hands on the wheel
Get on my cam, because you’ll want this up in your demo reel 

I can see their Medic sittin’ there without a hint of 
What I’m ‘bout to do next - more oblivious than Mike Scott 
Oooh, dat Heavy’s good, but he won’t see me: The Engie Bomb 
Yo, give me an opening and just consider him gone 

DM ‘til the AM, I am the M of this PUG 
Pissin’ off the DM, playin’ D&D - that’s luck 
If you try to BM, me still be the greatest, punk 
I just quit this season because I don’t need this junk 

My last vid just went viral 
Next vid’ll put subbies in a spiral 
Behind the scenes I like to make the Medic’s die, tho 
There’s secret to it I know, bitch 
In tunnel 

Med down, in tunnel 
Med down, in tunnel 
Med down, in tunnel 
Med down, in tunnel 
Med down, in tunnel 
Med down, in tunnel 
Med down, in tunnel 
Med down 

Who dat Scout thinkin’ that he walkin’ on my land 
Get the fuck off my flank with the Sandman 
Get the fuck off that point - out my scene 
I’ll make a play fuckin’ up your whole team 

I’m so fuckin’ sick and tired of the Overwatch 
Please compare this game to something good like Quake: Live 
Compare it to a game that’s not a Fisher-Price FPS 
Keep your clusterfuck roster, I’ll take my nine classes any day 

And that’s not that crazy, ay 
You too scared to play me, ay 
Throw a wrench into the fray 
If you want a crazy game 
Hackers do not phase me, ay 
I do not play DayZ, ay 
Never even blazed it, ay 
White beard, never shave it, ay 
I’m CGP Grey, meets Dunkey mixed with Vsauce, ay 
Watch my frag vids, and let’s hear the Meds talk, ay 
If I kill a Medic, it won’t be an accident, ay 
I’m not pending in fact I’m sent, bitch 
In tunnel 

Med down, in tunnel 
Med down, in tunnel 
Med down, in tunnel 
Med down, in tunnel 
Med down, in tunnel 
Med down, in tunnel 
Med down, in tunnel

MED DOWN

Special thanks to Exonova for mixing and autotuning.

--LYRICS--

Playin 6v6 with my bros 
Countin’ dominations how it goes 
Pray our Medics live forever, man 
Pray the hackers get exposed 

I want a dispenser over here 
I’ll stab someone’s back ‘n disappear 
Killed you with the Huntsman, that’s on purpose 
Gibus gettin’ carried don’t deserve it 

They don’t like how serious I take this game 
Yelling in the chat my teammates are to blame 
You’re 0-10 man, I don’t have no time for that 
AFK in spawn, you get vote kicked for that 

Yo, front’s where you find me at 
At mid’s where you’ll find me at 

I knew player named Steven Serge 
Relatable YouTuber gamer Ster 
He put me on to that TF2 
That was back when I was just a noob 

Then Gun Mettle dropped, it was reskins and contracts 
Man, that’s when they add snowplow after the backlash 
Man I’m talkin’ way before Highpass 

I was playin’ 6v6 with my bros 
Yeuh 

I was playin’ 6v6 with my bros 
Where did that Medic go 
Where did that Medic go 
Where did that Medic go 
Playin’ 6v6 with my bros 
Where did that Medic go 
Where did that Medic go 
Where did that Medic go 

Don’t fuck with my team dude, they’s is a Death Merchant, whoa 
Look at my Uber glow 
Here - take my sandvich, it’s made out of sourdough 
My team is here I got Solly and Sniper and Engie and Heavy 
And whoa 

And where did my Medic go... 
I might declare it a win if our Demoman hadn’t decided to throw 

Yeah, but where did that Medic go 
Their team irrational, go back to casual 
Where did their fashion go, whoa 

My buddy Pazer, he heal me, we both have Unusuals 
Entrance up, exit up, build it up, level up 
Gotta get more that ammo 

I’m turnin’ into a player that thinks about fraggin’ and winnin’ 
Like 24/7, that’s where this game took me 
That’s just how it happened to go 

And you know... 
I was playin’ 6v6 with my... 
With my... 

I was playin’ 6v6 with my bros 
Where did that Medic go 
Where did that Medic go 
Where did that Medic go 
Playin’ 6v6 with my bros 
Where did that Medic go 
Where did that Medic go 
Where did that Medic go 
Playin’ 6v6 with my bros 

(6v6 break) 

With my bros...

Interlude (ft. ArraySeven)

--LYRICS--

I fly like Soldier, jump high like Scout 
If you catch me in the spawn room I got pizza in my mouth 
If you come around here, I’ll build Dispenser 
I’ll get one down in a second if you’re hurt 
(x2) 

Sometimes I get hit by the trains 
Every time I swear I’m gonna unselect Freight 
Everyone’s a bully, shootin’ my brain 
Better not make fun of my weapon’s nickname 
(x2) 

All I wanna do is (shotgun x4) 
And I (wrench + gun) 
And build a sentry 
(x4) 

Pirate hats and gnomes 
Pistol skins and meat and cones 
Runnin’ while we shoot ‘em 
Little Pyro for protection 
(x2) 

No one on the market got swagger like us 
Got banana hats and killstreak strange guns 
We wrap and deliver YouTuber signed stuff 
You pay an extra key for the trouble it costs 
(x2) 

All I wanna do is (shotgun x4) 
And I (wrench + gun) 
And build a sentry 
(x4) 

Uncle Dane... 
Third Campaign 2017... 
Yeah, I got more spawn room snacks than a LAN party 
So… don’t bother me… 
You ready, ya’ll? 

Some, some, sometimes it’s a burger 
Sometimes it’s a taco 
Some, some, sometimes it’s a burger 
Sometimes it’s a taco 

All I wanna do is (shotgun x4) 
And I (wrench + gun) 
And build a sentry 
(x4)

Build A Sentry

--LYRICS--

The Ambassador’s broke 
The Ambassador’s broke 
The Ambassador’s broke, no fun unless you upfront, son 

Shy guy named “DIE” used to main Amby Spy 
Big dope long range killer, he was makin’ ‘em die 
Wasn’t playin’ as Sniper but still gettin’ the headshots 
But then Valvey threw that nerf on, now he aim like easy bots 

And now it’s miss, miss, miss 
Cause when he tries to cheese it, there’s no swiss 
What’s makin’ that sound, oh it’s a Spies clenched fist 
I’m happy now that Spy mains are so pissed 
Cause that’s some dumb shiiiiiiii- 

By the way, that you play 
I can tell you ain’t havin’ no chill 
Come on up and stab me or are you a lil grill 
Fuckin’ dead ringer shill who can barely get a kill 
You keep tellin’ me it’s skill, that you’ve got a role to fill 
Play broken subclass ‘cause he never gets a stab 
So I pull it out my bag, and I crit him with the Jag 
Like bappity-bappity-bap-bap-bap 

The Ambassador’s broke 
The Ambassador’s broke 
The Ambassador’s broke, no fun unless you upfront, son 

Oh my Gosh… look at that Bap 
Oh my Gosh… look at that Bap 
Oh my Gosh… look at that Bap 
(Look at that Bap) 
Look at, look at, look at 
Look, at that Bap 

This dude named “$T1N63R” used to use the Dead Ringer 
Shot him 5 times with my pistol, I ain’t talkin’ ‘bout Winger 
Real pussy-ass player, shooting blanks with my rifle 
But then they hit it with a nerf and now he callin’ me spiteful 

Now I’m like bang, bang, bang 
Run for that ammo now you little shit stain 
Can’t escape me now that you can’t spam feigns 
Don’t like this song, well you can blame uberchain 
This is some dumb shiiiiii- 

By the way, that you play 
I can tell you ain’t havin’ no chill 
Come on up and stab me or are you a lil grill 
Fuckin’ dead ringer shill who can barely get a kill 
You keep tellin me it’s skill, that you’ve got a role to fill 
Play broken subclass ‘cause he never gets a stab 
So I pull it out my bag, and I crit him with the Jag 
Like bappity-bappity-bap-bap-bap 

The Ambassador’s broke 
The Ambassador’s broke 
The Ambassador’s broke, no fun unless you upfront, son 

Oh my Gosh… look at that Bap 
Oh my Gosh… look at that Bap 
Oh my Gosh… look at that Bap 
(Look at that Bap) 
Look at, look at, look at 
Look, at that Bap

Ambassador

ft. Freddie TF2

--LYRICS--

Bro, you’re my pocket, you’re my darling pocket 
Stomp the server when we use kritzkrieg, baby 
Shawty you’re my pocket, you’re my darling pocket 
You give me heals when I’m in need, baby 

Pubs are one big farm for your strange gun 
But who’s gonna have your back when your team’s gone? 
It seems good when you’re taking on 1v1s 
Don’t be a noob, son - you need a pocket medi gun 

Looking back, I see my bro’s apprehension 
Can we really dry push on this sentry gun 
But I was sure we’d get ten dominations 
And this dedication is to the pocketation 

Bro you’re my pocket, you’re my darling pocket 
Stomp the server when we use kritzkrieg, baby 
Shawty you’re my pocket, you’re my darling pocket 
You give me heals when I’m in need, baby 

You’re a God when it comes to overhealing 
But you never got protection that you needed 
Then one day you saw me broken and bleeded 
Healed me and proceeded, objective completed 

And we’ve never been apart from that day on 
Giving pubbers a-a run-run-run for their mon-mon 
I know it’s odd to have feelings that are this strong 
For a dude’s medi gun who shoves it up my bun-bun 

Bro you’re my pocket, you’re my darling pocket 
Stomp the server when we use kritzkrieg, baby 
Shawty you’re my pocket, you’re my darling pocket 
You give me heals when I’m in need, baby 


Dude, come on and use your Uber 
On this YouTuber 
(I’ll never drop you, you’re my bruh) 

Let’s use the Kritz because they’re grouped up 
They really fooked up 
(Now rain your rockets from above) 

Now switch to Quickfix and we’ll jump around 
And now we’ll really pound 
(Look now I’m flying like a dove) 

And then it’s time to switch to the Vacc 
Because that Sniper hacks 
(You’ll never die to a headshot) 

Pubs are one big farm for your strange gun 
But who’s gonna have your back when your team’s gone? 
It seems good when you’re taking on 1v1s 
Don’t be a noob, son - you need a pocket medi gun 

Looking back, I see my bro’s apprehension 
Can we really dry push on this sentry gun 
But I was sure we’d get ten dominations 
And this dedication is to the pocketation 

Bro you’re my pocket, you’re my darling pocket 
Stomp the server when we use kritzkrieg, baby 
Shawty you’re my pocket, you’re my darling pocket 
You give me heals when I’m in need, baby

My Pocket (ft FreddieTF2)

ft. FUNKe, Soundsmith, Lady Stanger & Muselk

--LYRICS--

For a long time we’ve been fighting over gravel 
With no healer around, no doubt we’ll lose the battle 
Between the awful teams & chat bind memes 
We want this round to end 

Hey! Think of instead, a Medic Girlfriend… 
Huh? 
That’s what I said! A Medic Girlfriend… 

She’d wear a beak of Circling Hearts 
With killstreak eyes of fire 
My girl will marvel at my kills 
As I shield her from gunfire 

I couldn’t care what hats she wears or what she looks like 
It all depends on what she equips like 
Kritz, Vacc, Uber… Ooooohhh…. 

Bet the Casual Meds think you are quite the pocket 
And I’ll bet the ladies love Australium rocket (launchers) 
You can bet that we could use a girl 
Who’d help our wounds to mend 

What do we want? 
A Medic Girlfriend! 

My girl will think I have no deaths 
That I’m an epic guy 
Uhh… how ‘bout a girl who’s multi-class? 
Who picks what her team needs? (NAH!) 

My perfect runs and Hale’s Own guns are sure to thrill her! 
He thinks he’s such a great pubstomper… 

I’ve a girl back home who always likes to heal me 
Bet the only girl who’d heal him plays as Mercy 

And to say that we are desperate nerds is something we’ll contend 
But I really want... 
A Medic Girlfriend! 

Wish that I had... 
A Medic Girlfriend! 

(Whistle) 
A Medic GIRLFRIEN

Medic Girlfriend (ft FUNKe, Soundsmith, Lady Stanger & Muselk)

I am an aspiring voice actor/singer/actor. I always love doing voices of/for characters, especially from/for video games, movies, tv shows, and cartoons. I also love to sing!

Darn

Matthew Pabalate