Now I know some of y'all got questions
Got a problem that's eatin' on yo' mind
So I'ma do my best to eliminate this confusion
Regarding what's a turban and what's a turbine

Now I know the two words is similar
But for this I truly got to clarify
One is a religious piece of fabric
And the other goes up on scenic ridgelines

When a turbine falls, it costs millions in damage
When a turban falls, you can simply re-wrap it
If you build one, Vermonters treat it so bad it
Makes you think it causes airplane crashes

While a turban is what makes you look modest
It shows the world your life is not godless
It's more important, now, but I'ma be honest
Between the two, the turban probably costs less


Ain't no Muslim be puttin' pinwheels on they head
Ain't no Vermonters be puttin' cloth up on they hills
One is the energy of the future world
And the other is part of the stereotype that religion kills


Lemme axe you this: you ever seen a person
Try to power their state just with cloth?
If you did, you'd probably think they was silly
I hope I'm getting this message right across

That this mix-up can only hurt our country
Cause we'll have no idea who to invade
If we drop bombs every time we see turbines
We'll be blowing up the kind, progressive Danes

And if you think that this don't even matter
Let me let you in on a little fact
Wind can be 10% of Vermont's portfolio
And, no, it don't get no cleaner than that

And if clean is green, you can count me in
You know what I mean, but I don't want to sin
'Cause if I don't pray five times a day
I'll stay here in Vermont with my kin


Ain't no Muslim be puttin' pinwheels on they head
Ain't no Vermonters be puttin' cloth up on they hills
One is the energy of the future world
And the other is part of the stereotype that religion kills





Note:  I'm aware that Lorna Doone is not a registered trademark of Pepperidge Farm®.  Lyrical error.

Turbans and Turbines

Translated into English:


I’m going to name my first child “Merlin”
And I’m going to name his sister “Irene”
And when the two of them have a child
They can name said child “Merlene”

I’m going to name one child “Sean”
And I’m going to name the next one “Paul”
When those two adopt a child
They can name the child “Sean Paul”


I’m going to name one child “Elmo”
And I’m going to name the other child “Tree”
And when they have a baby
They are going to name it “Elmo Tree”

I’m going to name my one child “Turtle”
And I’m going to name the other one “Truck”
And when the aforementioned parties copulate and produce their own offspring
They will name that baby “Turtle Truck”


I’m going to choose two obscure names
And then I’m going to rejoice
My children will start making babies
They are not going to have any choice

The police officer cannot stop me
Can’t overrule me or tell me
That what I’m doing is illegal
When his eyes are dilated (thus indicating that he is high)

Maury Povich Experience