World Negatives- Kendrick Lamar

Wanna Be Heard

https://icryafterikill.gumroad.com/

I taught pain to slowly dance under the moon
Beneath the stars, and in my hands
There was a beautiful and unusual fleeting chance to accept what has become not of my plans
Midway between what joy I seek and ruin it brings
And the bloom within the vanity of my thoughts that drink deep here
From the well left in my heart
Full of self harm reduction journal notes and pale coughs seemingly from exposure
To the dark, to the light
I thought I knew you once
I wrote yesterday, today, and tomorrow lying
And threw them in a book that you read, I moved that night
And said I read it
I didn’t, I lied I guess, could you accept this why
I scribed my doubts into the footnotes hidden right beneath and behind my pride
And yes, you could say I screwed up
You can see them on my face
I am not good at hiding lies
I kinda look dumb when I do
I check my phone for messages I never sent
Not one or two
About a dozen I fucking left there
I just forgot to send them
There wasn’t really an ill intention 
I walk these empty streets at night trying to at least outrun my best 
But I’m a slow walker and not running had gotten me this far anyways
And I’m lazy as fuck and trust me
By time I reach my apartment
I’m even lazier than
Look for forgiveness in the eyes that won’t seek a blessing, left them dark
Tired of pretending I have it all figured out, but then here starving
What’s the ending to the depths not even discovered but oh have I ever felt them
I breathe in deep regret and my mind turns cold and let go of the shards
Of the remnants of the sound when we’d go by the river down the block
There would be a life lived on each drop of water that moved right past
The days we didn’t think that life would end up saving face when talking
Just to hook the line
And all I can say is
I don’t get it


What is there to get, my understanding’s
This is all a test
And when it ends we’ll be brought to our friends and family
That we once wept for
When we once send them to the past
Well here’s the present
What is better than being brought the gift of life
After most of mine I was feeling dead
Just an addict wasting lines
I wasn’t acting
But I fought through blood and sweat and bile and took apart the place
And put it back together
And a part of me is never going to bed without remembering
The darkness leads to darkness
And the light when it goes out of style
It just leads to more darkness
Now how the fuck does anyone get out
Don’t tell me I have been mistaken and this goes and ends with hell
Or some rebirthing into tragedy or pain that I can’t help
No matter where I go or what I do 
The ending’s always never
What ever is this waking life
I gotta starve to find some shelter
I don’t get it


idontgetit

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