This track's a re-imagining of Charlie Parker's lovely 'Yardbird Suite', which I wanted to use to create something a little different. I was going to use spoken word for the verses but in the end opted for a sung version of them without too much thought about melody. ALSO, big up the preacher, he's got some real bars.

No Copyright Infringement Intended - I'm not making any money off this track and am very poor besides so pls don't take me to court.

Listen on Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kuiL2GgLXOM
Like on Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/maxthomasmusic/

Lyrics:
A man was searching for a higher power,
to bring him the wife of his desire.
He feared that he would end up all alone.
So he prayed to God that they would meet,
and Lo and behold she was so sweet!
A tiger in the bedroom or so I heard.

Oh it's divine, it's divine intervention.
They still ask themselves could that be his intention?

Years of worship and a loving heart, 
then he drops dead ain't that bizarre?
Divine intervention or so it seems.
His wife, she prays that he will return,
but she ends up sleeping with the priest on the lectern.
She told him God told her their love was true.

Oh it's divine, it's divine intervention.
They still ask themselves could that be his intention?
And if it was then oh what does it mean?
Oh please tell me baby, it's killing me!

So the priest resigns when the town they find,
out about this couple's crimes.
Goodbye to God and Jesus Christ - Amen.
Celibacy seems a menace to me,
and the priest soon shared this philosophy.
Oh God works in mysterious ways.


Divine Intervention (Yardbird Suite - Charlie Parker)

This track is just a laugh for a wonderful friend's birthday, not to be taken seriously. 

But in all seriousness, Happy Birthday Alun.

Mr Shoe Shine (Call For Batcup)

This little number is a reimagining of Vulfpeck's instrumental track 'Rango II' to form an entirely new parodic song about TV and popular culture today. It's a little crazy, and I think I've lost my marbles.

Many thanks to Vulfpeck - you guys funk

Watch the music video at: https://youtu.be/_OP-0ALpbJE
Like on Facebook at: https://www.facebook.com/maxthomasmusic

LYRICS: 

EPISODE 1
Welcome back after the break to 'Accidental Pregnancies'.
Meet Karen and Steve who got it on 9 months ago.

Future father sitting in the waiting room,
A cigarette between his lips as his future looms.
(Hey you got a light son?)
He hears the mother screaming then he heard the baby's screams,
Fill the hospital ward just like they do on TV.
Wants to pull a runner go to Sweet Louisiana,
Free of responsibility and that wife you don't like (A-A-America).
But the Doctor came a calling and he stopped the crazy coward,
And he put the baby in Steve's arms.

What a moment the baby's so beautiful!

I mean I hate to break it to you Steve and Karen but your baby looks like every other baby we've had on this programme. In fact, every single episode is exactly the same. I think we need a new idea guys.

EPISODE 2
This week on 'Have You Got Bad Parenting Skills?',
We welcome Steve and Karen and their devil child Jonathan.

Jonathan's a bit of a nightmare, we don't what to do with him.
(Oh shut up mum or I'll tell Dad that you slept with Gary).
Every time he kills another kid we try to tell him off,
But he just does it again. (Oh fair enough I did do that).
He's driving me and Steve apart we haven't had sex since he was born.

Oh it's a bloody long time not to have sex isn't it lads,
I mean sometimes you just think why don't we get rid of our kids?
They're a horrible lot anyway. I for one would not miss my son at all.
(Hey Dad mum slept with Gary you cuckold). You what?

So Karen and Steve dealt with their bad parenting skills by putting Jonathan up for adoption. Good for them.

EPISODE 3
Please give a warm round of applause to Steve, first on our show this week entitled:
'You've Got A Pretty Generic Problem With Someone Related To You. We'll Pay You Both To Embarrass Yourselves In Front Of The Whole Nation On Live TV. Get A Scary Man To Shout At You For A Bit. And Then Leave Your Problems Alone To Fester.'

My wife doesn't love me anymore.
(She doesn't love him, she doesn't love him no).
She slept with Gary from next door.
But Gary's well-adjusted, and financially secure (Oh Gary!)

I mean to be honest with you Steve I'm not sure what you've got to offer in comparison to Gary, I mean, just look at him...

EPISODE 4
He's a winner in the bedroom honey!
And a winner in the boardroom honey!
So tall he needs extra legroom does Gary!
I even heard he likes the ballet!
(Oh Gary)

I mean I know he's great and all but can we please move on from Gary now.

CREDITS
He is kind of hot though.
Did you hear he worked out?
That guy is so dreamy.
Yeah, that went well. 

Steve And Karen (Rango II - Vulfpeck)

A reimagination of 'Stutter' by EMEFE. Their original track is very good, sorry if I ruined it for you.

Romance Is Probably Dead (Stutter - EMEFE)

A sketchy reimagination of The Singers Unlimited's rendition of 'Nature Boy'.

There Was A Boy (Nature Boy - The Singers Unlimited)

Oh Dada Dwah Da Dun

It dawned on me the other day that September 2019 marks the start of mine and many of my closest friends' fifth year in Manchester. Now feeling sentimental about how special Manchester is, I decided to share this little song I wrote about it when finishing off the old degree.

LYRICS

I have spent three years falling in love,
with a city I have learned to call my home,
and even though there's too many roadworks,
it's a city that has crept under my bones.

I have spent three years studying something,
though I'm still not sure what I have learned,
and I've met some people that I'll know for all my life,
and none of us will pay off our student loans.

We may not know what the future holds,
but it'll damn sure be exciting.
We may not know how our lives will unfold,
but hopes and dreams will always seem inviting.

I have spent three years to get a number,
a Damian Hurst, a Desmond Tutu or a third,
and I still don't know who I am,
or who I'm meant to be.

But I've found somewhere I feel I belong,
and I even went and wrote this f***ing song about it,
and I apologise for going on so long,
and I haven't got a last line yet.

An Education (In Manchester)

One of the few benefits of lockdown has been having time to listen to the entire Beatles back catalogue. After digesting it all, I came up with this rather melancholy tune. Enjoy!

LYRICS

Molly from Manchester felt quite possessed to go down to the pub for a drink,
she asked the barman can you make me something that'll make it much harder to think.
And he says "drink this, down that, and your troubles will all flow away."
"They'll all return when the sun starts to rise, you can drink all you want but it won't heal what's inside."
That's what love is for.

Harry from Hartlepool's just lost his job and he's feeling quite down on his luck,
He calls up a lady who some might call shady, and spends fifty quid on a f**k.
And it goes in out, shake it all about, Harry pumps all his problems away.
He's only searching for someone who deserted him, someone with whom he could rest his weary bones.
That's what love is for.

Love, that silly thing, it can make or break you in an instant.
Love, that simple little thing, you can spend your whole life looking for it when it's right in front of you.

Larry from Lancaster stared in the mirror and saw a stranger stare back,
He longed for the road trip he'd taken last summer with Molly and the kids in the back.
And he said "Oh what I'd give to go back to the times before sleeping around and the lies!"
"I'd like to improve and to try to remove all the bad blood between us and try to be a dad."
That's what love is for.

Rachel from Ramsbottom sat at her desk and she typed the words into the screen.
The more emails she wrote the closer to promotion and living the corporate dream.
She said that "Harry's a bum I was done with the slum of a life that we'd built for ourselves."
"I'm better without him, I'm tired of vouching for someone in who I do not believe in."
Oh, that's not what love is for.

Love, that silly thing, it can make or break you in an instant.
Love, that simple little thing, you can spend your whole life looking for it when it's right in front of you.
That's what love is for.

Molly From Manchester (Demo - Explicit)

After much thought and deliberation, we politely request that your mother not be invited to our post-COVID party. Please note, no mums were harmed in the making of this song. P.S. We hope this brings some joy into the current monotony of everyone's lives.

Featuring Max Thomas, Molly Toolan-Kerr & Charlie Perry.

Mix and Master by Benoit Andre.

I Don't Want Your Momma At My Party

Hello fellow human, it is so lovely to meet you. How on earth did you make it to this little corner of the internet? My given name is Max and this is a mausoleum of things I have gone and made. Enjoy your stay!

Max Thomas

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