I am but a simple man who has been blessed with massive legs. Some have called me “The Cheetah,” because I run on calf-time, while others run on hours and minutes. I zoom around so fast, I am oft mistaken for a supernatural being. A Polterthighst.

Name: Frederick Von Wistlebördenheimsten (any other name you might have seen is an alternate name I use for security reasons), but most people just call me Fred.
Age: I conveniently forgot. Wow! How unfortunate.
Gender: You don’t need to know that.
Sexuality: Why people put this in their bio, I’ll never know.
Dating Status: See the previous two.
Likes: Sarcasm, but I never would do anything of the sort.
Dislikes: Nothing. I love everything! Although, I do hate sarcasm.
Favorite Quote: “Memes, Jack. DNA of the soul!”
Second Favorite Quote: “You should motivate yourself, now!”

Maxly Maggington