Alone at the Party

I wanna churn like
Amish butter
I wanna move out
Of your way
I wanna find what's
There in your stomach
If it's the same dark
And it's too late
    
What if? 
It's the same dark coming, the same dark
What if?
It's the same dark coming, the same dark oh fuck it all then   

Heft

sad girl thinkin bout u

there is a light
it comes on every night
shining from your desk
i know that that's when
you need some time not being talked to
that time is hardest for me to
understand
don't you wanna hear about this band?
i don't understand
don't you wanna hold my hand?
so how have you been since i saw you last?
i like to pretend there's an anvil in your chest
or just maybe a hole the size of me

Not Being Talked To - eskimeaux

thank you gabby for cutting my armpit hair the other day
now i have to cut yours to make it a fair trade 

we go to the store today to get blister band-aids for susannah 
she's got bubbles on her toes they're filled with goo and they're painful

what do i do today?

i'll wait for felix to come home so we can go to the aquarium 
and kiss on the mouth by the fish in the tank and touch the stingrays but not die that day

what do i do today?
what do i do today?
what?



What Do I Do Today ft. eskimeaux & yours are the only ears - Florist

from japanese breakfast

I thought I saw a hand glider
I wondered if it was tourist season
My body is so warm 
Because my blood is flowing

We thought a nice place could bring us both luck
things start to go our way
We thought a nice place could bring us both luck
things start to go our way

Boys paint their boats by the water
Where is my great big feeling?
You bought a tai chi sword to practice
It flopped around like a thin limp dick

We thought a nice place could bring us both luck
things start to go our way
We thought a nice place could bring us both luck
things start to go our way
Where is my great big feeling?
Where is my great big feeling?
Where is my great big feeling to feel?


Pure Handjob

two ativan for the day i get another ct scan
one cup of coffee and a leftover slice of pizza from last night

wouldn't this be easier if i never left my home
wouldn't this be easier if i stayed in the mountains alone

a mom and a dad who always do their best
but even they couldn't stop me from near death 
you know what i'm glad i broke my neck 
it stopped me from thinking about the things that make me sad 

wouldn't this be easier no it never would
wouldn't this be better no wait it never could

Two Ativan Today - Florist

Try not to get
So righteous 
About what's fair
For everyone

try not to think about my life without you
try to channel every light in me to render this benign
try not to think about my life without you
try to channel every light in me to render this benign


My Mommy Is Sick

Family With A Dog

grab me by my shoulder blades and hang me out to dry i'm a mess and i need someone to help me out with that

eyes just like a skyline even when they're wet and the window is foggy and the window has a tint

a bed of flowers, stacks of wood, and a note
a farewell letter from 100 years ago
please remember to feed the cat 
please remember that i'm never coming back 

i was born in 1994
i was born in the 70s
i was born in 1823
and you were born right next to me

1914 - Florist

May 9

korg poly 800 fun
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
count me out of the party
i'm not going anywhere today
count me out of the party 
i'm sick of hearing my voice today
count me out of the party
i don't want your vodka lemonade
count me out of the part
i hate everything everyone says anyway

i got a new synth - florist

Actin Weird

day 6 ooookkkkay
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
white light doorway here i am in the flesh again
does this make you want to see me here again
i'll shout i'll scream i'll walk back but you'll bring me in
white light doorway please spare me please forgive my sins
golden flowers metal diamonds on the wall
i've not been there i've not been here
please come quick i've stuck my head in the banister again
i slid and pulled and chafed my neck i'm freaking out
please come quick i stuck my head in the banister again
but i just wanted to know what it would feel like
with one part of my body alive

White Light Doorway - Florist

from japanese breakfast

there's not much to show
is there?
when you see it from far away
you don't have to make me proud 
i just want you to be happy
happy? happy. happy? 

Happier

it's mothers day i love you mom i made some scrambled eggs 
i went outside and watched the birds like i know you did today
i'm sorry i'm not there to eat some lobster and watch a movie later 
i'm sorry i'm not there to hang out in the living room with paul newman
it's mothers day i love you mom
it's mothers day but i love you everday

For My Mom - Florist

maybe my favorite song i've ever written

SCRAMBLED EGGS
I was young
there was so much left to see
had only laid my eyes
on the american northeast

and i was lonely
i was only 17
but you taught me
how to make scrambled eggs

I believe
I believe in scrambled eggs
I believe
I believe in scrambled eggs

it was hard
i cried all night in my rooms dark
i felt the hands of independence
rip my form apart

no one taught me
how to stand up on two legs
i taught myself
how to make scrambled eggs

I believe
I believe in scrambled eggs
I believe
I believe in scrambled eggs
I believe
I believe in scrambled eggs
I believe
I believe in scrambled eggs
---

I Believe In Srambled Eggs

sad girl thinks it's ok

That's ok - Eskimeaux
frankie is facedown in our bed
you are downstairs
and all i want is to hear you say
"we’re not the same
but that’s ok”
you came home today
and you said 
that you were scared
you’re not the same
it’s ok
because i want you
and you want me too
that’s all we have to do
that’s all we have to do

that's ok - eskimeaux

Hobbes And Mom

Hell No - Eskimeaux

its comfy, leaning on your arms on the subway
too drunk to speak to you - i'm crowing! 
out of control again, bulldozing on twitter

that you knew to take away from me
we don't speak
careening through the neighborhoods mindlessly
this is what love is
as far as i can see..
no icing on the birthday cake, a silent movie

the sunrise, i like it in the middle before daylight
the purple that appears before the blue sky
in simple terms...
it's why i get so weird on tour, i get so bored
careening through the country, socks in sneaks
this is what devotion is, as far as i can see
no icing on the birthday cake, a silent movie


bellows :: no icing on the birthday cake, a silent movie

Rainy Coffee

sad girl can't deal when Ryan leaves the room

When Ryan Leaves The Room
i'm bad at saying goodbye
i get filled with sorrow
when i'm saying goodbye
i don't believe in tomorrow
when ryan leaves the room abruptly
when ryan leaves the room abruptly
when ryan leaves the room abruptly
when ryan leaves the room i wanna cry
it's sad when something
won't work logistically
i'm a dog, you're a cat
we storm and fall and that's that
when you leave the room impatiently
when you leave the room impatiently
when you leave the room impatiently
when you leave the room i wanna die

When Ryan Leaves The Room - Eskimeaux

sad girl thinks it's christmas

You and Frankie and Me
there’s a heavy sense of oneness
in the little things you got this
christmas i felt so alive
each time i made you smile
i just go there every morning
when the daylight makes you angry
364 days and 14 hrs more, not a second before
we’ll see that light again
you and me, your brother, mom and dad
what’s the point of living if it’s not like this?
what’s the point of living if it’s not like this?
your body speaks a different languag   e
and i’m afraid to get a grasp on it 
to watch your face fall so long
as long as the ears of a hound dog
it was just like in the movies
and lately it doesn’t take much to move me
the night i cried ended so sweet
you and franke and me
tangled up in sheets, a heavy sigh and then we fell asleep
what’s the point of living if it’s not like this?
what’s the point of living if it’s not like this?
what’s the point of living if it’s not like this?
you and me and frankie    
that’s all there is

You And Frankie And Me - Eskimeaux

Wappingers Creek

sad girl feels saccharine and dumb

Eat/Pray/Love (Saccharine and Dumb As Hell) - Eskimeaux
so steeped in the hive mind
we pass through rain and scrub pines
perfect for daydreaming
positively careening
like when i saw you dog-ear the page
i caught a glimpse of you day-to-day
i saw you get up and off the train
and right away you became
nothing, nothing
nothing, nothing
to me, because that's how we
live every day in the city
even when the daytime is sunny
it feels the same as night time exactly
ugly, unlucky
ugly, unlucky
ugly unlucky
nothing, nothing
nothing, nothing
and whenever you ask, "what's appropriate?"
i get choked up and lose it
i feel so "Eat/Pray/Love"
i feel so saccharine and dumb
just wanna become
nothing, nothing
nothing, nothing
nothing, nothing
nothing, nothing!

Eat/Pray/Love (Saccharine and Dumb As Hell)

AVALANCHE

i know it’s every day, it’s constant
you’re hearts in a jam cause 
you don’t feel right, 
your clothes are too tight

i used to want to be Pretty
but then i drove through hollywood
and all i wanted to watch 
was my bahn mi and the palm trees

we 
gotta shake this out of us
till we’re soaked new and shining, every morning 
double-dip 
in love deserving 
serve me till my spirit’s full
together i hope we shake it out 
shake it out
 

you taught me about bjork and the cranberries
you gave me your guitar 
ma, you’re the biggest beauty

I’m gonna believe
that when i die they’ll play my songs
cause they’re more me
than my body could ever be 

we gotta shake this out of us
till we’re soaked new and shining, every night and morning
double-dip 
in love deserving 
serve me till my spirit’s full 
together i hope 
we shake it out shake it out

shake it out  -  free cake for every creature

LVL UP - Naked In The River With The Creator
Down the river on my back I can see with both my eyes closed.
How do you know when love is a wellspring?
Does it give your life meaning, or does it bind you?
I know the way grows shallow so I put my feet down
and I open my eyes!

dark 
river 
white water 
gaining purpose 
moving stronger
ash rising bright
father's dogs running with the earth's daughter
light from the fire line spreading out forth from the night
and then climbing to the Spirit heading north
I sat quiet on the side and, still silent,
saw a black crow rise from the night and take flight.
life rose from the water and ascended to the ground,
to the sky
to the night
and back down.

LVL UP - Naked In The River With The Creator (NC)(MAY 10)

sad girl sees outside herself for once

Emily Reo's Life-Changing Tweet - Eskimeaux
i used to feel alone among everybody
where did i come from? why do you love me?
spent so much time focused only
on me, me
and then i saw it
what emily had written
if all you only talk about your insides
you’re missing the point of being alive
opened my eyes to see
this special life, this net of safety  
circle of light surrounding
i get so high just knowing
the web of love ever growing
luke says
the keys to success
are your friends
and your moral compass
the reason you feel alone is
            closed
eyelids

Emily Reo's Life-Changing Tweet - Eskimeaux

LVL UP - "i am not warm" (mc)

why is it i choose to read
and written things – can they read too?
the readers – they must have another reading audience themselves,

circulating on the shelves
put on hold

will her prophecy unfold like she told me?
may be 2 more years of Saturn in the 5th

enough, enough! i’m sick of it

waiting and waning,
prematurely celebrating only for delay
the morning comes, but it won’t stay

stuck at standby, permanently
so, when i love, i’m ever gentle
and extreme
and dense
i’m no attack
and all defense

a love once came and then it went
and now the waiting’s permanent

Gate #33B

Disappointment-Small Wonder

a song from an apartment in berlin in germany.

Once In A Pumpkin-Small Wonder w/ Yohuna

frankie is a hoarder and a hog, a very greedy dog

bellows - Frankie Is A Hoarder And A Hog feat. Eskimeaux

sad girl is anxious about moving

Lion Lion, Lamb Lamb - Eskimeaux
lion. lion
lamb, lamb
if you're the lion
i'll be a ram
someday, someday
someday, someday
for now we can rest
together our cozy nest
Brooklyn house, we are coming
it's crooked, i'm sure, but it's something
lion, lion
mouse, mouse
i'm opening the lion's mouth
'cause something's rotten in this house
and only i can stop it
only i can stop it

Lion Lion, Lamb Lamb - Eskimeaux (feat. Frank the Dog)

you want a big dog
and i want a small dog
i gotta daffodil on my arm
you tend the dandelion garden

watermelon-tongue
city buzz
crazy daisy
you got that beauty bug 

blue couch on the porch 
tunes through the window
daniel loves laura 
first summer in a city

you color me in 
my rainbow an oil leak
a wildberry stain

you’re more than my character
this still feels new 
i’ll still be singing when i’m ninety 
climb a tree to see
 what tastes so smokey sweet
first summer in a city


first summer in a city  -   free cake for every creature

This is a song a day project for a week starring Bellows, Eskimeaux, LVL UP, 100%, Told Slant, Small Wonder and free cake for every creature.
it’s all gonna be available HERE!
hear 7 sweet new songs every day!

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