i improvised this while having a literaly mental breakdown one day lmao

I'm Just A Totally Useless Piece Of Fucking Garbage Better Mix

untitled cavern/mountain theme

Whirlpool
The sun is green and nothings real
The taste and touch of cold wet steel
No outlet, just a broken wheel
The axle snapped, it doesn’t heal

I’ll take a pill or maybe two
I’ll fix these tears you ripped right through
Theres shrapnel in my veins
Please take me far away

Let my heart regenerate
No outlet for this inward hate
You’ve been so cruel now it’s done
I’ll build the bricks back one by one

Fences, passcodes, concrete tiles
Count to four, it takes a while
Rushing water tears through membrane
Soapy ocean drives me insane

Dive into the autoclave
And cleanse my broken soul away
Let mildew die in antiseptic
Treatment and viral infection

Scrubbing faster not enough
You wipe it down, you get back up
I tell myself “you’re not your thoughts”
But ultimately that is all

I’ll ever be, I’m just a brain
With thoughts that never seem to end
A whirlpool going deeper
Pushing pulling twisting me in

Ways I never knew I could
In ways I knew I never should
This body wasn’t built for this
And now what’s left but emptiness

I’m doing better or I’m trying
Spend some days soaring, others crying
I talk about it, tell myself
“One day ill make it somewhere else

But now the world is still so young
And everyone is having fun
Too much time spent without day
Has made the colors fade away

But you can look again and find them
You can make it through the blindness
Watercolor bleeding through
Remember all the lively hues”

A life exists beneath the shadow
A spaceship flyby over Glasgow
A metaphor I stole or borrowed
Washes out the helpless sorrow

Tape the axle, fix the wheel,
Take the help so we can heal
Finally begin to feel
Despite my thoughts that I am real

whirlpool (distortion & vocoder) demo.mp3

what i would
give to live
womanhood
like a kid
from the start
take it all and throw it in the trash

if i could i’d
pick it up and
turn it into clay and dust
and mold my life into a world
where it’s the same but different

take my heart and hold it close
tear off skin and toss my bones
take what’s left of my old soul and
make it the same but different

make it all
different
make it all
different

but it’s not

put my dress on
do my hair
do my makeup
make ‘em stare
this body never could compare to my
soul

shoulders make me want to fade
to a place that’s very far away where
i can be the way i am
without being called a fucking man

take me far away
i don’t wanna be here any ways
everything would be the same
without the needless fucking shame

changing my life
be myself
i’d change my clothes
without the guilt
i’d be the person that you hate to see
i’d be so damn happy

why can’t it be
the same but different
make it
the same but different 
change a couple bytes around
make it the same but different

make it all the same
or take me far away
from where it’s the same
but the same
but the same

dysphoriacore (same but different)

Quit While We're Behind

The Burden of a Paralyzed Soul in a Fighting World
It’s the end of the world
Can’t you tell it’s the night
By the screaming and sirens
And flashing strobe lights
You may just have noticed
That this isn’t right

Look out your window
Into the abyss
From the comfort of atrophy
Here where you sit
The signs were all there
I guess you just missed
It’s the end
It’s the end
It’s the end

It’s the ending of everything you’ve ever known with
The blink of an eye it’s all gone in a moment
I hope you don’t mind
No that’s, only a joke cuz

See it’s too late to stop it, yes time did it’s job
And now here as the credits roll stifle your sob
You couldn’t have stopped it
You’re no demigod
You’re a speck of a speck on a
Tiny space rock
And the world is indifferent to
All of your thoughts
It’s the end
It’s the end
It’s the end

Train tracks that lead to places far away
And the trains that endure their paths every damn day
And the thoughts within thoughts of a distant escape
Id take you too if I remembered your name
It’s the end
It’s the end
It’s the end

It’s the end
It’s the end
It’s the end

the end of the world voice memo demo shortened (the burden of a paralyzed soul in a fighting world)

a love song i wrote about someone very special

two corpses slow dancing by mayabee
Im stuck awake, haven’t slept tonight, fight or flight
Researching dangers of breathing in pesticides
Convince myself that ill be alright, i’ll be fine
Thinking some more now I’m certain I’m gonna die

Watching the sunrise feels terribly different
When you’ve spent the whole night awake
Staring at timers and stepping in tiles

If dying is the only thing life guarantees
Then I hope that you’ll spend your life dying with me
Let them dig up our bones
In a few hundred years
And discover our love as we held one another dear

Corpses entangled in each other’s arms
Let them wonder about all the
Things that went wrong
But our remnants don’t show just how
Perfect it was we were
Two dying people both
Hopelessly stuck in love

I know that you know that everything’s purposeless
Nihilist point of view makes it all seem worthless
Your battery’s running out, mine is corroding
Time ticking quicker now, you and I both know it

I feel compelled just to
Stare at me feet but
Your eyes somehow pull me away
Walk next to me please and hold my hand

Cuz if there’s 
Meaning to life then I hope that it’s you cuz
I’d spend my whole life getting lost in this view
In this cavernous maze that we call our existence
Now you lead the way we can travel the distance

Together we’ll find out that life is much more
Than an infinite spiraling series of doors
Because walking alone can be awfully bleak but
It all becomes worth it when it’s you and me

Two Corpses Slow Dancing voice memo demo 7/19/23

Im stuck awake, haven’t slept in a couple nights
Researching dangers of breathing in pesticides
Convince myself that ill be alright, i’ll be fine
Thinking some more now I’m certain I’m gonna die

Watching the sunrise feels terribly different
When you’ve spent the whole night awake
Staring at timers and stepping in tiles

If dying’s the only thing life guarantees
Then I hope that you’ll spend your life dying with me
Let them dig up our bones
In a few hundred years
And discover our love as we held one another dear

Corpses entangled in each other’s arms
Let them wonder about all the
Things that went wrong
But what’s left doesn’t show just how
Perfect it was we were
Two dying people
Hopeless in love

I know that you know that everything’s purposeless
Nihilist point of view makes it all seem worthless
Your battery’s running out, mine is corroding
Time ticking quicker now, you and I both know it

I feel compelled just to stare at me feet but
Your eyes somehow pull me away
Walk next to me please and hold my hand

Cuz if there’s 
Meaning to life then I hope that it’s you cuz
I’d spend my whole life getting lost in the music
this cavernous maze that we call our existence
Now you lead the way we can travel the distance

Together we’ll find out that life is much more
Than an infinite spiraling series of doors
Because walking alone can be awfully bleak but
It all becomes worth it when it’s you and me

Two Corpses Slow Dancing Worse Demo With Trumpet

normal music by a normal mentally well person

hold music for a crisis line

press 1

Untitled Dnd Manimani Song

Not A Villain Song Don't Be Ridiculous

Mysterious Mountainside (dnd Track)

Final Boss Guitar Solo Part

Dnd Track; Bells & Whistles

Dnd Track Fast Piano

Dnd Song - What Few Remain

Dnd Song - Waltzy Manimani Hall Of Mirrors

Wake up - final boss theme

she/her - the dumping ground for my depressing work in progress songs w vocals - the sun is green and nothing is real

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