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gone

shift

i don't remember waking up

the faintest of memories

in your head, i'll always be there

saturday midnight

regrets

yeah.

Hollow EP out soon!
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ethereal infernality

no, but they exist

just... whatever

night sights

minute of angle

eyes red with blood

give it back

the low end

i live out of spite

continue?

Icicles in my skin

just one

my tragedy

my passion

i created them

dreamers den

blue lotus

ambience

drum sounds

shin-osaka

One of the worst feelings a man can experience is taking stock of his life experience and realizing it has all amounted to nothing.

You cannot see your reflection in a broken mirror. I can’t see mine at all. Every time I look, there is nothing. There never has been, nor will there ever be.

That can’t be right.

There is no way I have done nothing. I have memories, I have experiences. I think.

How do I know anything I’ve said or done, anyone I’ve ever met, any place I’ve ever been, is real?

I don’t remember when I fall asleep.

I don’t remember when I wake up.

I always feel pain. I am never numb.

You’re not supposed to feel when you’re asleep, right?

How do I know if I’m awake?

How do I know if I’m asleep?

How can I prove anything is real?

The time is always correct.

The sun always burns. The ice always stings.

Nothing makes sense.

Nobody speaks to me unless spoken to.

On every spectrum of my existence, I am alone. 

Every expression of my life and how I feel ends up a tale of nothing but sorrow and tragedy. No matter what I do, every story I tell is a depressing one. I am physically incapable of truly expressing any type of positive emotion.

But I smile every day.

How do I know it’s real?
She tells me I’m overthinking. She assures me that I am tangible, and that she is too. Everything I see is real, everything I feel is real. Everything is real.

But what reality is she referring to?

What if she’s lying to get me to calm down? What if she isn’t real, and I’m not real either? What if she knows this and is trying to trick me? Who do I trust?

If life is fake, then death is fake too.

I am too scared to prove this.

Why am I so scared? If nothing is real, then I shouldn’t care. I should be afraid of anything if there isn’t anything to be afraid of.

If I am not real, then nothing ever happened. If nothing ever happened, why do I remember?

If I am not real, why does it hurt?

If I am not real, then why did it happen? Nothing can happen if nothing is real.

I need to know which is my reality, and which is just a dream.

I want to wake up.

cava. 

adiuva me obsecro.

verus es.

ego quoque verus sum?

nihil verum est.

attamen omnia vera sunt.

lebensmüde

i am always staring into the void. my eyes are empty. my mind is empty. my heart are empty. there is nothing.

nothing is anything. everything is nothing.

there is no sight. there is no sound. there is no feeling.

pure blackness.

despite this, i still see her.

she meets my gaze.

despite all the pain, she is still here.

protecting me.

i want to wake up now.

please. help me.

nothing is anything

i am nothing.

but that is impossible.

you cannot be nothing.

to be nothing goes against the nature of what nothing is.

you either are, or you never were.

to be completely negates the concept of nothingness.

and yet,

i am nothing.

i am void of all.

nonexistent.

no memory. no feeling.

if i am nothing, then i never was to begin with.

free me from this torturous cycle.

what am i, if not nothing?

infinite unreality

taxxai

Mayyro

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