Lyrics:

 Here’s a little something that happened to me
And it went a little something like this

Yo it was Saturday night, I was out with some friends
We were playin B-Ball, and doing our thing
I told a funny joke and it made them all laugh
They all gave me high-fives, we were having a blast!

When my boy says “yo, isn’t that a celebrity?”
My other boy said “yeah”, and they were standing right next to me
Now I thought it was Brad Pitt, or maybe Bob Barker
Nope! I was next to Sarah Jessica Parker!

She said “Aren’t you Andy? I’ve heard a lot about you
How you look really handsome, and all the girls talk to you”
She seemed really nervous, cause she stuttered a lot
Little did I know she was bothered and hot
   
Cause she was all over me like she wanted to hook-up
She whispered “I’ll bet you can do a million push-ups”
I said “yes I can, thank you so much for asking
I’ll do it right now while you sit back relaxing”

There’s 1 push-up
There’s another push-up
Here’s a 3rd push-up
…..
I’ll do the rest later

When I jumped up we were both getting sweaty
I could see it in her eyes, she was more than ready
So she took me to her house, so nice it wasn’t funny
But I guess that’s what you get when you have Hocus Pocus money

She poured us some beer, and I drank the whole thing
I didn’t even throw up, that’s because I’m the king
When I turned around her shirt was off, I saw her boobies
I had a pretty good idea of what she wanted to do to me

She lit some candles, the bedroom was pretty
The suburbs were about to become Sex & the City

Next thing you know I was in make-out bonanza
She screamed I was the boss, I felt like Tony Danza!
She kissed me on the face and it sure was fun
When it came to tonsil hockey, I was 2nd to none

My hands were on her stomach, then the area above it
I couldn’t believe it, “I don’t know how she does it”
But then I heard the door open “Oh no!” I hadn’t thought of this
When into the room walked Matthew Broderick

OH NO!!

It was Beuller himself, and he didn’t look happy
I reached for my gun in case he took a stab at me 
But I couldn’t move, his girl was still on my waist
I threw up my hands, “well THIS is just great!”

He said, “did you guys make out while I was eating my pasta?”
I was gonna say no, but I’d be Lion like Mufasa
So I said "yeah we cheated like you did in Election
And I’ll sting ya like a bee if you deflate this erection"

“Andy you’re a dick and I’m really mad
But you’re my best friend so now I forgive you”

He said he loved my script for Inspector Gadget 3
I could produce and direct, and he’d star for free!
I couldn’t understand why he was being so nice
He even apologized for TOWER HEIST!

He said “Also I heard the news, congrats on winning!”
“What are you-” [RING] hold on, my phone is ringing
I was receiving a call from an Oval Office Resident
Damn, I was talking on the phone with the president!

"Andy I’m the president, I held a pole
And the country said you should have a more important role
So anyways now you are earth’s supreme leader
Now we’ll throw you a party and not invite your math teacher"

What a crazy day, but it wasn’t as it seemed
Because then I woke up, man it all was a dream
But here’s what doesn’t make sense, that I ask of you
How’d I get this poster for Sex and the City 2…..?


My date with Sarah Jessica Parker went PRETTY well

"Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil: for thou art with me; thy rod and thy staff they comfort me." - Psalms 23:4

THE EAST SIDE (FT. Derek Papa)

But Peter made him get up. "Stand up," he said, "I am only a man myself." (Acts 10:26)


Sound Of Da Keith

Aaron's Party (Trump Get It)

Hero (Road-Trip edition)

The musical Hamilton but with actual pigs

Alexander HAMilton

An ill-advised mash-up of "One Week" by the Barenaked Ladies & "Smells Like Teen Spirit" by Nirvana

Andy Young