Extract from The Kite Rider by Geraldine McCaughrean recorded by Full Cast Audio.

Full Cast Audio - The Kite Rider - Sample 3

Extract from The Middle of Nowhere by Geraldine McCaughrean read by Ailsa Joy

Oakhill- The Middle of Nowhere

Extract from The Death-Defying Pepper Roux read by Anton Lesser.

Listening Library- The Death Defying Pepper Roux

Extract from Tamburlaine's Elephants read by Andrew Sachs

AudioGo- Tamburlaine's Elephants

Extract from Cyrano read by Cynthia Bishop

Full Cast Audio- Cyrano

The Unemployment Song (lyrics)

Ailsa Joy you're wasting your life
You are your own trouble and strife
Yes, I know, you're uninspired,
Yes, I understand that you are tired

But, no, Ailsa,
That's no excuse, anymore, Ailsa.
Where are the books you said you'd pen?
I can't back to the JobCentre again.
When are you going to be in plays?
Where are the movies you thought you'd make?

I know, Ailsa,
There aren't any more jobs, Ailsa.

But God it's time to get outside 
Stop playing BioShock and wipe your eyes.
Being unemployed leaves you free
To be all the things you wanted to be
Hey, not everyone can be in the RSC!

No The National isn't ringing—
And what is this? You think that this is singing? 
What's so great about the things you're bringing?

Be better, Ailsa.
Be better, Ailsa. 
Citalopram is not the answer. 
If you can't act, be a morris dancer

No you'll never be five eleven. 
60 inches, not even, five foot seven.

I know, I know! You think you're fat.
I know, I know! It's worse than that. 
I know, I know, 
how bad it gets on Casting Call Pro.

No, you'll never be Jennifer
But maybe that's not what you are for.
We've still got time to explore.
Just don't go mad after twenty four.

Dog grooming classes: cost a grand. 
Now that's not something I understand
But there are other things!

The ukulele: is a nightmare. 
But that doesn't mean you should despair;
There are other things.

The Army; really isn't right for a would-be socialist, and actually I'm pretty sure you're not suitable because you're short and you wear contact lenses, not to mention the moral quagmire that is modern day warfare, I think you'd struggle.
But there are other things.

You've got good eyebrows
And
You've got good friends
And
You had a nice dog
And
You once met Lizo

Ailsa Joy, you're wasting time
You're supposedly in your prime
I know it hurts you have to be here
And all you wanted to do was theatre
But come on, Ailsa
No one's stopping you, Ailsa...

Make something, you might as well—
How d'you think Dante got out of Hell?
He wrote something. 
Rather more than one thing.

It's cathartic and you never know
How anybody's career's gonna go?
God I wish we all had money
And there wasn't so much misogyny
Unemployment feels like shit. 
And everybody's just getting on with it. 
In the mean time, Ailsa,
You're an usher, waitress, envelope-stuffer, 
All artists tell you you're gonna suffer

Ailsa Joy, don't waste your life.

mccaughrean

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