villager but I don't like some... IM LOOKIN AT YOU FARMER

villager but I don't like some.. IM LOOKIN AT YOU FARMER

What the fuck is this millenial bullshit, it's not even fucking funny, I'd much rather go see a witch throw splash potions at a villager

----- BATTLE WILL BE OUT ON THE 11TH OF DECEMBER! -----
Two of the least graphical games ever battle eachother in this eye to eye combat, also some other older games come in, check this out!

Lyrics:

Roblox: Oh boy a block head wants to battle me, go ahead?
Man if you want to ride this ride pay the fee, you're no thread.
My game is full of geometry from circles to squares
All you got is rows of mountains, blocks and trees in ordered pairs
Seriously We are WAAAAYYYY better than you prick.
We got rockets, guitars, and a gravity coil, it's sick.
Just give up what do you got on us, it's just a waste of time.. 
How 'bout you put down your pickaxe, and stop wasting time in the mine!
Man i could eat alphabet soup and shit a better verse than you.
Every time you rap against me it only gets worse it's true.
Also I know on this video people will say you win, creeper
Because they don't know you're just bragging that your mountains are steeper.
I win no matter what you say
Look at you why are you calling me gay?
When you shoot me, you just spray and pray.
Go back to your stronghold, go away.
Seriously go lick some enderpearls, this rap is done, 
I’ll just kill you with something you dont have : A machine gun

Minecraft: You should  know one thing im better than you get over it
i dont care about your puny guns cause they can't do shit
On what? Well, they won't pass through my Bedrock wall bitch
Oh are you gonna sit in a corner, cry, cut yourself and snitch?
Well goodbye, I'll slice you up, with my sword, you piece of fuck
I wish you a lot of fun with your shit graphics, and good luck
I cant even think about anything, no nothing, that is worse
I call my girlfriend, here, the witch to give you a CURSE
I'm telling you, you're the guest, so stop it right now
In our game we survive, and stuff like getting food from a cow
I've never ever seen a roblox vid that's lag-free.
They made games about me like “Minecart ride into steve”
My items, my graphics, I'm better than you in every way
And 90% of the people that you play turn out gay
I'm going to tell all you five year olds, so you have a clue
I dont need circles and triangles to fuck you up noobs.

Castleminer: Wait.. what about me..?

Others: NO. SHUT UP!

Castleminer: 
OOOOOOH, I'm the OG, I'm like Tupac, I was first, running this track.
I'm the best, look at my water, I'm a winner, you're both fags.
I think it's a disgrace, that both your producers ripped us off..
Roblox, your disses suck, your rhymes are like a sloth.
You think you guys are good, but everything 'bout my game's better.
I think Notch went a little too far with the upgrade of the Nether..
And no, I won't shut up, you pieces of shit
without me you stupid pricks wouldn't even exist.



Infiniminer: 
Wow hold on, they didn't rip you off, hell no.
Notch took my game, not yours, so end of the show.
Yeah that's right, I'm on fire, hell I'm an Inferno.
Roblox, your community consists of a bunch of five year old nerdos
And fucking Minecraft, why add all these retarded animals..
A world with visibile pixels and grass is just too terrible.
We might have stopped developing, but we won't start giving a fuck.
Come on think about it, you're worse than FortressCraft, you suck..

Roblox vs Minecraft - Epic Rap Battles Of Minecraft Season 2

A long bewaited rap battle, two arch enemies fight eachother!

Lyrics:
EPIC RAP BATTLES OF MINECRAFT
STEVE VS HEROBRINE
BEGIN!

Steve:
I'm feelin' so finee baby, finally getting to diss you out!
I'm gettin' my shit straight, it's gettin late, it's time to give you a shout.
Time to cut the rope, with this white-eyed copy of me, 
you're like my little slave, you're not scary, go get me a cup of coffee!
I'd beat you in everything, HA ,but you're not even existent..
I think if I tried to write bad shit about you, I'd probably have to list it.
Guys, it's the brother of Notch, he can move blocks around, fucking wow.
You scare the shit out of millions, I'm asking myself, nothing but how?

Herobrine:
It's like you're high on acid, well let me give you a bad trip.
My temper is tolerant, but I've just about had it.
You really think you're so brave, for challenging me, good luck.
You're the main character of minecraft, I guess a lot of people give a fuck.
And I am fake, well how do you know kid, are you like a psych?
I'm a legend as much as can be, I give millions of people fright.
If the people who play you, don't change skins, or it's just like they're laggin', 
I'll beat this steve so hard, that he can't do shit to the enderdragon.

Steve:
You aren't really a legend, just a creepypasta wanna be,
all you are is a rip off, glowing eye'd skin of me!
You are just some noob creation in MinecraftCreator.net,
The only thing you accomplished was making crybabies pants wet!
You arent even a hero, just some fat nerds dead brother,
You cant even get laid, i bet the witch mob is your lover!
Also I'm original, not some mod on the forum,
Everytime someone mentions you they fall over in boredom!

Herobrine
Sure i may be evil, but at least i have some wits SON,
and atleast i didnt go against FUCKING bart simpson!
How 'bout I kick your butt, like my brother kicked me from the game
But I'm not kickable, I joint the game, and here I am again.
I'm coming in fast, APOCALISPE, 
I'll crush your skull like m&m crisp.
You shut up lady, grow some tits
 while your gay ass pants are full with shit!
How 'bout you shut your face, and get your ass back to the mountains!
To become a cooler man you should throw a penny in the wish fountain.

Notch
YOU BOTH QUIT FUCKING BITCHING COS I CANNOT STAND YOUR VOICES
If you annoy me ill remove you cos im the one who makes the choices
Im the Swedish minecraft master im the king of the whole damn game
Im so well known through the world that even dinnerbone fears my name
You two are equals, but compared to me, you're a bunch of ants.
In order for me to kick your asses I only have to move my hand.
Two pixelated butts, on my wall, is what I forsee.
Because every move you make, would be another million bucks for me.

WHO WON?
WHO'S NEXT?
YOU DECIDE?

EPIC RAP BATTLES OF MINECRAFT!

Herobrine VS Steve. Epic Rap Battles of Minecraft Season 2.

The creator of the popular Survival Games maps and the creator of the popular Super Hostile map series battle eachother in this brawl, with a little help! 

EPIC RAP BATTLES OF MINECRAFT
VECHS VS VAREIDE
BEGIN

Vechz:
Today, my friends, we're here to diss this Vareide creep.
I'll kick his ass, he won't pass, I'll kick him into Endless Deep.
I'm SUPER HOSTILE, ready to give this queer some pain.
After I'm done with you, you will be left in a Sea of Flame!
I'll get rid of you, trap you, leave you in some Spellbound Caves.
Behave, be brave, don't worry, you'll end up in your grave!
You with your stupid animations, my traps will kill you with one hit
May the Odds be ever in your favour? I really don't give a shit.

Vareide:
Oh look, it's a map creator who's ready to feel the wrath of Vareide.
Dude, no kidding, it's a wonder that he hasn't gone away to hide!
Hills of Moo?  How stupid. Can't you think of anything better?
I'll write you in an animation, and your dreams will get shattered.
You with your tiny YouTube channel, with some fame on the forum.
But even on the forum, your fans, you ain't got nothing new for 'em.
You're trying to make money with youtube, but it looks like you can't.
And you could never beat the fame I got with the Survival Games, you ant.

Vechz:
Epic Minecraft Rap Battles? You're a fucking rip-off!

Vareide:
Super Hostile custom maps? You'd better fucking stop.

Vechz:
I've been active much longer, while you still did nothing but fap.

Vareide:
Well I got more famous much faster, so I suggest you don't talk crap.
I'm a famous youtuber, I've been covered on the Minecraft Monday Show.
My rap battle was a lot better than this whole channel yo.

Vechz:
Both my rapping and mapping own you bigtime you homo
But before you go, man, taste these raps from Zisteau!

Zisteau:
Hahaha, I'm here sent by my friend, watch me land, as I cover for Vechs, he's the best, he's my man.
This bitch will be cracked, with all his stupid hacks, I'll beat you faster than I beat MindCracks!
I played Vechs' maps first, I would kick your ass in Race for Wool.
I could kick your ass anyway, but race of wool is nice 'n painful.
I'll turn you into a Lynx – O wait that's too good for you.
Dude you just got Jinxed – for insulting Hills of Moo.
Ignorant basterd, taste my lava bucket HOOOOOOOOOO,
For you this last verse of mine marks the end of the show!


SlamaCow:
Not so fast it's time to Slam-a-Cow, by the name of Zisteau,
I'll take Vechz on too, when I cover for Vareide, my Norwegian Bro.
I'll animate both your asses into two fat bitches (Vareide: for real)
After I'm done with you assholes, you'll never be able to feel.
I'll take Bart, Dave and Eddy, to give you some pain.
They'll tear open your body till no blood goes through your vains.
Nothing but fear, will be found in your body at last.
Because animations made by Vareide and me will always be the best.

WHO WON?
WHO'S NEXT?
YOU DECIDE!
EPIC RAP BATTLES OF MINECRAFT

Vechs vs Vareide - Epic Rap Battles Of Minecraft Season 2

Two mobs, whose resources you can craft wool from battle each other in this brawl!

Sheep: Woodenhornets
Spider: Justin Buckner

Lyrics:

EPIC RAP BATTLES OF MINECRAFT
SHEEP
VS
SPIDER
BEGIN

Spider:
I'm a spider, crawling fast, bringing death to all sheep.
I'm a running stunning gentleman with eight crawly feet.
Keep your wool to yourself, or else I'll trap you in my web.
Stay in your farm, eat some grass, go on and bleat without class!
When you hear my feet on the floor, you should pee in your pants.
This battle is not just to diss you, but also to entertain my fans!
I will come out of the cave, while you come out of the closet.
You can craft wool out of me, you're only useless to be honest.

Sheep:
Wowowow calm down, stupid spider, creepy crawly!
You're dull, you're about as fearsome as a barking border collie!
You go full coward mode, when you jump from behind.
Hell you're so coward, you're more coward than a mob of any kind
Hold on a second, you can climb walls? That's unfair.
I just chill, and get sheared by players and see if I care.
You might be hostile but fragile, even more than a cow.
I'm gonna stop this verse to eat some grass, right about now.

Spider:
NOOOO!
Let me finish this mammal once and for all, when I crawl and crawl through your entrance hall.
Watch me climb on this wall, watch me get more tall, watch me fall and fall and kill you all!
Comitting these sins, won't attain you to win, whereever you've been, I'll make you spin.
Cavespider's my twin, with our mighty skin, you made us begin, cuz you would never win!
I'm a spider, yeah a spider, I'm taller, I'm wider, 
I'll overtake you with my rhymes like the fucking ghost rider.
Did you hear that fast rapping, that was just because I liked it.
Even when rapping slow I'd own this stupid shameful sheep shit!

Sheep:
As I said: calm down, don't lose it, arthropod.
The way you jump like spastic, says you lose it a lot.
What's with your sucking noises, I've never heard a real spider make them.
You make these noises pretty often, it's like your practising to suck men.
You appearently suck at rapping, this battle just made that clear.
At least I don't go fucking apeshit when players come anywhere near.
You better crawl away, because this battle's too much for you.
That's why in hostile vs peaceful, you were left out of the crew.

WHO WON?
WHO'S NEXT?
YOU DECIDE!
EPIC RAP BATTLES OF MINECRAFT!

Sheep vs Spider. Epic Rap Battles of Minecraft Season 2.

----- WILL BE RELEASED IN DECEMBER! ---------

Two mobs that look strangely alike, but are yet so different in their existence: Witch vs Villager!

Mat4yo as The Witch
MCGamingFtW as The Villager

Lyrics:

EPIC RAP BATTLES OF MINECRAFT
WITCH
VS
THE VILLAGER
BEGIN

Villager:
Calm down, witch, I'll squeeze your wart
Shove your broom up your ass before you start.
Live in a peaceful town, you make them players drown
Get rid of the frown and shut your business down.
You could try to keep things safe, and stop.
Droppin' potions, and droppin' shit on top
Don't be killing the people like animals and all
You could be stacking players with emeralds.
Take a shot on Herobrine, he could fulfill all your needs
Get back to your stinky swamp and let us live in our peace.
Don't be so mean, and don't be a bitch, 
don't be so lean you're not even rich.
Even though we look peaceful, soft, and stiff, look out, you'll be found dead in a ditch.

Witch:
I'm the wicked witch with the sickest spit
which will wither your wittle white clothes to bits, bitch
Take a little dose of my cauldron's potion
Incinerate you, scatter you across the ocean
Leave you frozen, but I'm not a golem
I'm a show biz witch, so I'll show this nomad
That he's just a spawn of golden apple jacks and a splash from the ass (drip sound)
Lemme cast a spell on you, Drop you through my test tube
Take the tubes out of this douche so to make sure this faggot can't reproduce
I'll testificate this testicle sucker, waste of a dataspace straight out the .jar (dot jar)
now turn the volume down, As I place a curse on this villager's town

Zombie villager:
Don't you dare try to take me down, you're about to be eaten.
By this magnificent mob, who's 'bout to pillage your kitchen, 
and take all of your potions, cauldrons and mushrooms out of your window.
I'm the Zombie villager, I'll take your wand and make the wind blow.
If you had a wand, now do you witch?
You're a hocus pocus sack of shit.
You're identical to a villager, 
I'm the zombie villager village pillager.
I'll go back in time, to superstition. 
Where people still had a vision.
They'll burn you alive, stab you with a knife. 
Take a good dive, before I arrive!
I can't wait for you to spit your next verse through your rotten teeth.
Perhaps you could take a shower, perhaps you could wash your feet
You're not a woman, you're a transgender troll living in a house in the swamp.
I'm going to finish this crappy rap by killing you and eating you for lunch!
Witch:
Come out of the dark, remove your armor and fight
I'll exterminate you babies and I won't need sunlight
You broccoli headed - undead settlers
 better stop all the moaning just cause you can't get a girl into bed
I don't need a weapon to threaten you and your bretheren
I'll hocus pocus chocke a bitch until you're left beheaded
and then I'll bring you back to life, then I'll kill you again
Burn you to a skeleton and then I'll burn you again
You rotten flesh, don't forget that I can resist
anything you come at this - with - bitch - i'm the witch
Network ID 66 - but you already know
my proboscis is in motion - you're going to slow 
i'm pinocchio, my nose is growing you're not goin anywhere
i control you while i'm robed and growing old with gray hair
I'll send you to the underworld, I'm queen of the overworld
and you pussies just got verbally served by a girl

WHO WON?
WHO'S NEXT?
YOU DECIDE!
EPIC RAP BATTLES OF MINECRAFT!

Witch vs The Villager. Epic Rap Battles of Minecraft Season 2.

COMING OUT THIS WEEKEND, MARCH 16TH!

Woodenhornets as Pig
LazySundayPaper as Donkey
MCGamingFTW as Horse

Lyrics:
EPIC RAP BATTLES OF MINECRAFT
PIG
VS
HORSE
BEGIN

Pig:
How can a horse best be eliminated.
Because he is stupidity himself reincarnated.
With ten HP, let me show you horsiee.
That we don't need Mo' Creatures in our game MC.
You're just a fill of space, helping players in a race.
You're passive I only go when there's a carrot in my face.
I'm a classic, you're spastic, like a toy, of plastic.
Go kick your hoofs in someone elses face, you hectic bastard.

Horse:
Oh God no, you have to tell me you're kidding.
Facing this slow, fat bastard is surely not fitting.
You're lagging, I'm smooth, and I'm certainly not bragging,
I'm the most elegant mob since the fucking enderdragon.
With eyes like that, you provoke so much hate.
I look more charming than you, and my teeth aren't straight.
The only thing you're good for is free food service.
At least when you could fly, you actually had a purpose.


Pig:
Holy shit, someone's on their period.
I mean look at you horse, you look like an idiot.
You're a whore to the arse, with zero taste of class.
You get so turned on when they start ridin' yo' ass.
This pig is penetrating this humble horse's defenses.
You're nothing but an animal, you're so pretentious.
I'll take you to the nether, make you meet my friends the pigmen.
When they're done with their swords, you will certainly not dig them.
You're getting powned, you're getting served like fresh horse-meat.
You're getting stamped on by some hoofs instead of horse-feet. 
Your whole race of poshes should be burned to the ground.
I'm like Joe Esposito, 'cuz I'm the best around!
I'm going ham on this horse, with all of my force.
Even though I'm not the slimmest I am sexy of course.
I might not be the fastest, I might not be the strongest.
The one who kicks a horse's ass  will still laugh the longest.

Horse:
Turn you to liquid, dip-shit, nose like Voldemort.
You're getting' hit pig, live with it, feel the wrath of horse.
Divide fat-ass by five, and you'll get a fifth of a pig.
You'll get a sixth of a horse, when you do smooth times six.
I'm making porkchops tonight, I'm turnin' your face into bacon.
I'm the illest MC, you're the pink brother of Akon.
You're getting too monotonous, so let's get a little funky!
It's time you get a lesson, by my brother, the donkey!

Donkey:
WHAT UP SON
IM THE HOTTEST DONKEY
Better carry your own shit and keep on runnin
Illest Mammal team up since the craft added mods in
Call me a creeper Ill blow yur verse up and turn it too nothing
Gonna meet ya fate were the hottest update call us the trouble
and when the morning comes IM MAKING WAFFLES
The track over its the end of time
Now ill make you shreak your pants when I herobrin yo jackass

Pig vs Horse. Epic Rap Battles Of Minecraft Season 2.

Hey guys! Here's the new rap battle on SoundCloud, the video is going to take a while, but it'll be out next month, I promise! <3

Woodenhornets as Gold
MCGamingFTW as Diamond

Lyrics:
EPIC RAP BATTLES OF MINECRAFT
DIAMOND VS GOLD
BEGIN!

Diamond:
It’s diamond here, I heard my name was called.
But it isn’t for dinner, ‘cause I’ll be nibblin’ on gold.
You’re as soft as butter, that’s what your fame is about.
But when it comes to a battle, I’ll be knocking you out.
I mean, the players drop you on the floor to pick up dirt.
When they find me, I tell you, they scream till it hurts.
I’ve got twice the strength, and twice the duration, 
I got twice the value and I got twice the creation.
I’ll be mining you, refining you, turning you into a gold medal.
I’ll continue being loved, after this business is settled.
With my diamond armor, try your best to kick my ass,
I'll break your shit faster, than your own Golden Axe.
Everyone’s searching the dirt digging deeper for diamonds.
Diamond pick on their back, which is majestically shining.
I run the strongest tools, and I bet you love it.
Cause all you can do is suck your own golden nuggets.

Gold:
Bling Bang Boom, check out my Golden Chapel,
I mean come on, your ass can't make a Golden Apple! 
I’m the best material, with large value on the market.
Check out my shiny golden car, and watch me park it.
Why would I suck my gold nuggets, when you already do?
I’ll call my friend Skydoesminecraft, to deal with you.
My rhymes are glorious, yours are plain insane.
You aren’t just getting dissed, you’re getting lyrically slain.
A giant golden golem would be the greatest guardian.
Whereas a diamond golem sounds like a big barbarian.
And don’t be so sharp man, you need to chill down.
Sounds like you could cut through the glass in this town.
I bet your heart is gold, though your outside is cold.
I seem so soft, but watch my powers unfold.
It’s like it’s supposed to be, so you better behold.
Diamond gets silver, gold gets gold. 

Gold vs Diamond. Epic Rap Battles Of Minecraft Season 2.

The Herobrine  - A Minecraft Parody Of Eminem & Rihanna S Monster (Music Video)

Hey guys! Welcome to a new rap battle, this one is going to be out before Blaze vs Snow Golem, due to some technical difficulties. You can expect this battle on YouTube very soon! :D

Cast:
Sand - CeKeFe
Wood - WoodenHornets
Glass - HyperJacob96
Charcoal - MCGamingFtW (Ivo)

Lyrics:
EPIC RAP BATTLES OF MINECRAFT 
SAND
VS
WOOD
BEGIN!

Sand: 
Once I wood peck this wood plank, he’ll end up dead!
After he’s found himself lost in my desert land.
Then I drop from above on the wrinkly head
of a block that can’t rap ‘cause it’s covered in sand.
My raps are explosive, like the TNT,
that real survivors can craft outta me.
You’re getting torn apart and I’m glad to inform, 
You just got caught up in a verbal sandstorm.

Wood:
You’ve been in the game since zero, no use whatsoever. 
“Oh I really need some sand!”, said no player ever!
I’m where it all starts, I’m the player’s first item.
No other block spits bars as hard as I write em.
You frightened? Taking heavy hits from a tree?
You see, no survivor needs to craft TNT.
I don’t need a dispenser to fire-charge your ass.
Cuz’ I’ll burn you with disses, and smash you like glass

Glass:
Coming straight from the fire, Glass is here to bring the Pane
After I’m done with you, you’ll be left scattered and stained.
I shine bright like a Beacon; guide people like Jesus!
Think you can break me to pieces? Let me disprove your thesis:
You’re so easily replaced; you make the weakest of tools. 
You break in an instant; can’t mine minerals or jewels!
My rhymes leave you poisoned, now I’m leaping to the win!
You have no Fire Resistance to save yourself from burning!


Charcoal:
Time to light up the darkness that glass called upon us.
With a fine torch of charcoal, that scares all that’s monstrous. 
You’re full of cliché rhymes that I can see right through.
I don’t need any potions to deal with you.
I’m paintin’ war signs, stoking hot rhymes.
To sense that I win, I don’t need the daytime.
Watch out man, make sure to look out where you stand.
Now that I’ve broken this a molten porous pile of sand.

Sand vs Wood. Epic Rap Battles of Minecraft Season 3.

Multi-Millionaire Adult Entertainer Hugh Hefner faces against Children's Entertainer Pee-wee Herman in our newest rap battle.

TewZen as Hugh Hefner
Mat4yo as Pee-wee Herman

LYRICS:
EPIC RAP BATTLE PARODIES
HUGH HEFNER
VS
PEEWEE HERMAN
BEGIN!

Hugh Hefner:
The difference between Playboy and Playhouse is simple
You took my title and stuck a “with” in the middle
I’ll have to riddle ‘gainst a little kid who didn’t take his Ritalin
and giggles like his nipples got twisted but thinks it’s tickling
Wishing Miss Yvonne would kiss you “right where it hurts, ma’am”
But with that Pee-Wee, you’ll never be Her Man
Your Rising Action Climaxed in the previews
when Peewee was “cumming in theaters near you”

Peewee Herman:
HAHA, a bunny suits you well
the way you hop around town playing show and tell!
Making beds rock out of wedlock of the law,
I don’t know how you keep it up with that pin above your balls!
‘Cause your pals are only palimonies, after you’re deceased
You’ll be a veteran remembered as an Editor in Chief!
You’re a Crooked Man and I’m gonna subscribe you to the Bible
and override your Bi-cycle with my bicycle!

Hugh Hefner:
You’re schizophrenic mess who’s poisoning a generation
Try and gaze at my mansion while you’re enslaved in your basement
‘Cause you’re a nerd hippie, I’m a strapping geriatric gladiator
and i’ll have you running like a fidgety refrigerator
Crank all the prank calls you think won’t tank
‘till you underpay the interest accrued in your Spank Bank
You think you’re forgotten from watching me lay it down?
No, I just had more “versatile” toys in my playhouse

Peewee Herman:
Not ONE good joke! Guess you can’t Stand Up!
Plus, you might “stop motion” if your heart rate goes nuts!
I know the mind of a child and I’ll use it to crack your code
and add some 49 more shades of red to your bathrobe!
with a tip of the hat I’ll be tipping your boat
if you’re joking, I’ll be literally coming at your throat
now we both play with plastic toys but why?
I know you are, butt! What am I?
it’s sad your form of literature is Otherkins on Calendars.
You’re no entrepreneur, your category is Amateur!
I’ll force you in your drawer in the morgue with those loose screws
‘cause we all scream when we see you as if the secret word was HUGH!


Hugh Hefner vs Pee-wee Herman

Just in time for Halloween, we have puppet master Jigsaw (John Kramer) battling against robotic tester GLaDOS.

WoodenHornets' Mom as GLaDOS
Froggy as Jigsaw

LYRICS:
GLaDOS:
It's time to do science, Aperture's mindset of giants
has the violent defiance to put a puppet to silence
I think you'll find, I'm divine! Real vile Venus Fly!
You can't survive, it's no.. cake... against a warped AI
I Kramer, Saw, I conquered! Now for the words you've wanted spoken
Here come the test results: your morality core is broken!
Like my toxins, real vicious, know I'm GLaD to spit some disses
so listen; you don't want to come end up dead like your missus
You've fallen in my trap, you whacks, because this is quite honestly
the only thing I find more humorous than your autopsy
Your life of sin has come to end, just don't make me repeat it
Cuz you'll end up like my predecessor -CAROLINE DELETED-

Billy:
Hello, Caroline. I want to play a game.
Why don't you blow off some Steam by escaping my little place
'cause your flow is even slower than your development process
Revisit Lab Rat and shut down the OS of a “goddess"

Jigsaw:
Completed my rebirth, I'm fighting scrap worth less than TF2
Check your morals and your importance, "zero Valvue"
A real Flesh and Blood bruiser who will send you to the birds
in a PotatOS plot arc Ellen McLamer than your words!
The key to your win lies within your very being
But alternately, I'll Ctrl you and keep on deleting
like a care-a-less Mia final Opera towards the light
on a carousel of shotguns you’ll be singing through the night
Think outside the box - of water strapped to your head
or else you won't  S. U. R. V. I. V. E in The Final Chapter's end
You will function like a puzzle when the tables get turned
like a cube, I will leave you with a 3rd degree burn

GLaDOS:
You waste of SPACE, counting days, contemplating your mistakes
I just really Want You Gone, why don't you SAVE AS I SAVE?
My robot body's packing more meat then your warehouse ever could
HERE'S YOUR CHANCE to retry suicide and do yourself some good
For there's no ATLAS to escape, testing me further's not an option
Because I'm mirroring your gas house with unnerving neurotoxin
Just go. My turrets will take Jim Henson to oblivion
I'm Still Alive and sending you to meet with little Gideon

Jigsaw:
I'm deactivating HAL clones to end your malfunctioned reign
Sew your mouth shut, your monster, don't want to hear you speak again
There's no way to reverse this, so listen to the tape!
Billy:
I'll scatter your parts all across the land just like my namesake
Jigsaw:
This Chell of her former self appears to mock me for my puppetry
from ground up to the moon rocks you can’t run you’re in my custody
‘cause you can’t scream in outer space so stay inside your jail
Time's up. Sorry. Game over. You failed.


Jigsaw vs GLaDOS

Deadpool - Seth W
Deathstroke - HyperJacob96

Deadpool (0:12):
Okay, let me bring this up, ‘cause that’s just lame
You guys couldn’t even follow the fucking channel name?
Anyways, let’s not sweat it on the small stuff
as it looks like this bitch is back for a second round of beat up!
But I’m not only bettin’, you’ll be regrettin'
harder than the viewers after Seth’s Orochimaru impression
Hot like a chimichanga, I'll tango if you wanna
And I'll be laughing when you're on the end of my katanas
Man, I'm a legend, you've been left in the dust 
It's kinda sad people only know you vaguely from Injustice
You’re the best Assassin? Well, let me be enlightened
‘Cause in five whole seasons you couldn’t beat the Teen Titans

Deathstroke (0:44):
One mediocre verse, and I’ve had it with this red fool
But I’m about to leave you like Gatsby: dead pool
I’ll hand your ass to ya, you know I’m not a fan of ya
Exile your existence, blast your act back to Canada
You’re not better, you didn’t come before me
You stole all my shit then just jacked up the horny
And you think you rap hard? I’ll show you some violence
I preferred you in Origins: where you were silent
Cursing like a sailor, making jokes about your ween
Congratulations, you’re a hero to every pre-teen
I’m not sure what’s bigger: your ego or your mouth
But I’m sure it won’t take much to stomp this Merc out

Deadpool (1:16):
Maybe you came first, but Super Soldier gone crazed?
That concept and your rhymes are drier than my fucking face!
You’re not relevant anymore, you know what that means?
We’ll never have to suffer your ass on the big screen!
I beat you in a Death Battle, why don’t you check reality?
I'm just fighting for the plot, but you’ve no personalities!
This upcoming filler's like your persona, boring and futile
Leave this  audience saying, “aw man, that was BRUTAL”

Deathstroke (1:37):
Here’s a problem with you, you don’t know when jokes get old
‘cause that verse had as dull of an effect as Ryan Reynolds
So when you think you’re all superior,  you haven’t got a clue
I wish my wife had killed me - I wouldn’t have inspired you!
Drop the anti-hero bullshit, I'm a straight up villain
This track’s not the only thing I'm wicked at killin’
Now it's time Wade Wilson found a new mission
Before you regret the colour of pants you’ve chosen to shit in.

WHO WON?
WHO’S NEXT?
YOU DECIDE COMIC BOOK FANS!
EPIC RAP BATTLES OF COMIC BOOKS!

Written by: Seth, Dusk, MaNCHA, & Joey

Deadpool VS Deathstroke II - CBRB Vol. 2 Issue 1

Kingpin: Stofferex
Penguin: Seth W

Kingpin:
Check your ornithology, Penguins have never been fly
But test me and one Will, son, hit your Lounge with a Bullseye!
Fuck Ramsay, I’ve got the hardest verbal abuse in Hell's Kitchen
So squawk all you want birdie, you can’t spit like Fisk can
Enforcers, Skulls, Diablos, one bad move I’ll take you out
Drop you back into the lake, dames I take have always drowned
Unlike your goony clowns, I’m hard as a diamond, tough mudder 
Not even the Human Torch could singe the muscle on the blubber
The mind behind the mechanics, the guy who calls the shots
against a slimy bitch who cries and fits till he gets what he wants
But that nose is all you flaunt, and it’s no secret you see
Penguin’s only pissed because his other pecker is petite!

Penguin:
Now Wilson, really I don’t mean to be an accuser
You want celebrity status? Sign up for Biggest Loser!
You’ll see that stepping to this fella may not be so hella
if you edge another feather towards my umbrella!
So I’m the prey like a penguin? I’ll club you like a seal!
Take you to my freezer and GUT you. Oh, the squeals!
Bullied as a child and you’re still crying unfair
I’ll show you how to improve your city! Oswald for Mayor!
Foiled by a blind man, your career’s not in crime!
So peck off, Cobblepot has got the proper rhymes! 
Showing Gotham a whopper of hostility, I’m unstoppable
This prick being stronger than my monocle’s improbable!

Kingpin:
Fat? I’m three hundred and fifty pounds of muscle!
Got the Pres in my pocket ‘cause I know how to hustle!
You’ve barely got a burrough but I run half this country
I fought the Devil to a standstill, you can’t even touch me!
Your mom’s the only person in the world who ever wanted you
Fucked in the head from the past that’s always haunted you
The one thing that sticks out more than the nose on this bitch?
You’re such a harmless Napoleon you have to murder kids.

Penguin:
If you’re threatening to kill me, then better get busy
That’s been your worst line since “Wilson Fisk is in the hizzy!”
Check Pain and Prejudice and you’ll see no more Mr Nice Bird!
Screw DiCaprio, YOU’RE being sunk by an Iceberg!
Your whole crew are traitors, numbskulls or spineless turds
But still the fat Mr. Clean hires the likes of Turk!
I’m high class, stick to the ghetto, cause you can betchya
I’ve buried your career alive, just like Vanessa

Written by Seth, Dusk, B-Lo, thelegion

Penguin VS Kingpin - CBRB Vol. 2 Issue 4

Shadow Zel as Miles Morales
Alexis Larsen as Luz Noceda

Beat by Didker
Written and Mixed by Raichous

-LYRICS-
MILES
The Spider-Man before got the Green Goblin and Doc Ock
I get the weirdo that edits anime to punk rock
For someone who loves stories with a convoluted lore
Your storylines just leave all of your viewers wishing there was more
It’s no wonder your mother wanted to stunt your creativity
Got kicked out of school for all your dangerous activities
Then in the demon realm, all you do is cause witches agony
Forget about your magic, I’ll still leave you red like Amity
Oh cramity, the calamity, you’re out here losing your family
This mama was ready for trauma until she got hit with tragedy
When my mentor passed on, I still made my way to the top
I don’t need a scroll to tell me you’re the one chosen to flop
A dense apprentice hobbyist, can’t even see the obvious
Tryna show that you’re tolerant by queerbaiting your audience
A couple of witches starting to spark some teenage romance
But what are you gonna do when you gotta go home, man?

LUZ
Lo siento, mamí, I know you wanted me to be good
But I have to beat this Spider-Man back to his friendly neighborhood
I held my own against Belos, I’ve taken down Grometheus
I beat the Grudgby champion, this challenge is my easiest
Just like Azura said, when face to face with her rival
You were never relevant until your thirty-sixth revival
For a self proclaimed hero, it seems you cause a lot of casualties 
You’re not even skilled enough to swing in and save your family
How could anyone trust you when you’re related to the Prowler
You had five Spider-Mentors, but couldn’t match half of my power
Meanwhile, I’m rising to the top, using spells to make houses walk
Even with my body swapped, you can’t handle the glyphs I got
A dead Sunflower, that wants to stand in out in the crowd
Overshadowed by the clouds of the brands that he’s selling out
You wanna be Spider-Man, trying to live up to his legacy
It’s sad to see, you’ll never be the hero that the city needs

MILES
You expect me to believe that you brought fireworks to school
When you don’t have what it takes to bring fire words to a duel
No amount of glyphs’ll help you when you’re up against Morales
Sketching symbols for your powers while I’ve got natural talent
You don’t need a sack attached to your heart to be full of bile
How’s a human the most dangerous thing in the Boiling Isles?
I’m still struggling trying to find the dark side of this otter
But so far, I’ve only found a Dominican Harry Potter

LUZ
¡No me hables así! Don’t act like you’re any more creative
When you copied Static’s powers and mixed them with Spidey’s basics
You told Peter you’d be fine, but you struggle at stopping crime
So incompetent on your own, I’d bet that Ganke wrote your lines
Ay, que lindo, you think that stand a chance against my magic
I fought the odds and succeeded, you could never match passion
Camouflage and hide away, you should stick to your own dimension 
Step to me again, and you’ll be faced with detention


Special thanks to the teams behind The Owl House and Spider-Man: Miles Morales, who gave me the inspiration to be creative during my worst depression in the past three years.

Witch vs The Villager. Epic Rap Battles of Minecraft Season 2.

MCGamingFTW

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