Cyberhobo 2024

Well, the preacher man’s hollerin’, brimstone and fire
Telling folks their dreams’ll drag ’em to the mire
But that old dusty Bible don’t speak for me
Ain’t no harm in livin’ wild and free

There’s a place where the truth feels right
Ain’t no shame in the Devil’s light

Y’all motherfuckers need Satan, it’s true
He don’t care what you wear or who you do
A little respect, and a deal that’s fair
Y’all need a gospel that don’t despair

Down here in the South, they’ll clutch them pearls
Talk big about heaven while they cheat on their girls
But the Devil’s got rules—ain’t that a twist
Only touch a heart if it wants to be kissed

He ain’t judgin’ who you hold at night
Just askin’ for a little mutual right

Y’all motherfuckers need Satan, it’s true
He don’t care what you wear or who you do
A little respect, and a deal that’s fair
Y’all need a gospel that don’t despair

Now I ain’t sayin’ sell your soul or raise no horn
But some kindness and consent wouldn’t leave you torn

They say there’s fire in the Devil’s hand
But it’s warmer than the cold in this broken land
No chains, no guilt, no call to hate
Just a way to live that don’t suffocate

There’s a freedom in the Devil’s song
And it’s been there all along

Y’all motherfuckers need Satan, it’s true
He don’t care what you wear or who you do
A little respect, and a deal that’s fair
Y’all need a gospel that don’t despair

You can pray all day and kneel at night
But a little consent makes it all feel right

Y'all Motherfuckers Need Satan

The Race Was Good But The Road Was Slippery

I built the wings, but I fell instead

Worked the line at Boeing’s hall
Built the planes, I knew it all
But after hours, deep at night
I sought a different kind of flight

No, I ain't some lost pretender
Just a man turned to surrender

Stallion, take me where the dark hooves pound
Where the weight drives through the ground
Back in Enumclaw, where the tall tales spread
Where the beasts lay men to bed

I met the horse, he stood so tall
Muscled frame, a beast enthralled
Took my place, I braced in tight
Felt the push, the breach, the bite

No, I ain't some lost pretender
Just a man who can’t remember

Stallion, take me where the dark hooves pound
Where the weight drives through the ground
Back in Enumclaw, where the tall tales spread
Where the beasts lay men to bed

Ruptured walls, the blood ran hot
Air grew thin, my body fought
Left to die, no name, no grace
A cold red room, a ruptured place

No more blueprints, no more wings
Just a whisper, just the sting
A final breath, a tale too grim
A man who let the horse deep in

No, I ain't some lost pretender
Just a name they won’t remember

Stallion, take me where the dark hooves pound
Where the weight drives through the ground
Back in Enumclaw, where the tall tales spread
Where the beasts lay men to bed

I chose my ride, the horse rode me
Left a tale they’ll never see

I built the wings, but I fell instead

Mister Hands

Butter it up, no time for doubt

Crack three eggs, fry ‘em up nice
Bacon on the side, salt ‘n’ spice
Check my phone, nothing new
Another Monday, pushin’ through

Slip on my boots, grab my coat
Blizzard outside, still gotta goat

Sounds penis, see you in hell
Drive through ice on a road like gel
Traffic crawls, wheels don’t grip
Morning radio plays the same old shit

Clock in late, no one cares
Print some sheets, stock some spares
Cubicle walls, grey and bland
Stapler’s jammed, I use my hand

Boss walks by, nods my way
Emails pile up, same old day

Sounds penis, see you in hell
Spreadsheet froze and I tripped an incel
Lunchroom chat ‘bout the local team
Microwave hums while I stare at the screen

Clock strikes five, boots hit the floor
Shovel out the car, drive once more
Brake lights glow in the frozen dusk
Windshield wipers fight the crust

Home at last, kick off my shoes
Microwave beeps, heat up my food
Frozen lasagne, two minutes flat
Watch the news while petting my cat

Weatherman shrugs, says it will still snow
Guess I’ll do this all again... tomorrow

Sounds penis, see you in hell
Fluff my pillow, turn off Adele
Alarm set, close my eyes
Dream of taxes and burger fries

Sounds Penis, See You in Hell

Tie’s on tight, but not much else
Clocking in with not a belt
Bossman’s sweating, face is pale
I'm strutting in like Chippendale

Dress code said to keep it neat
Didn’t say to wear a sheet
Walked in bold, no suit, no shame
Showing off my smooth ballgame

HR’s knockin’, eyes real wide
Guess they weren’t prepared for thighs

Business casual means nude
That’s just how I read the rules
Nothing tucked and nothing pressed
But I’m still so well-dressed

Karen’s crying by the printer
Dave just quit, he lost his dinner
Janice whispers, “He’s got nerve”
I twirl my junk as folks observe

Meeting’s startin’, feelin’ grand
Power pose with both hands

Business casual means nude
That’s just how I read the rules
Nothing tucked and nothing pressed
But I’m still so well-dressed

Lawyers circlin’, forms to sign
Guess my freedom crossed a line
Dress code now is set in stone
“No bare cheeks inside this zone”

New guy whispers, “Man, respect”
Still got fired, no regrets

Business casual means nude
That’s just how I read the rules
Nothing tucked and nothing pressed
But I’m still so well-dressed

Exit interview felt cold
Guess they weren’t ready for bold

Business Casual

Out on the range where the tumbleweeds drift
There’s magic in boots and a spell in the mist
A whisperin’ wind calls out in the night
Ridin’ the stars on a mare burnin’ bright

Stirrin’ my brew in a cast-iron pot
Moonshine n’ hexes, it’s steamin’ up hot
Dust in my lungs and a curse on my name
Ain't no preacher can wash out the shame

Guns ain’t just bullets, they’re words of the old
Carvin’ out fate in the stories untold

Rootin’, tootin’, spell-castin’ high
One silver round, make the devil go cry
Ash in the campfire, smoke in the sky
Somethin’ wicked’s ridin’ by

Horse is my familiar, coat black as coal
Knows every whisper that rattles my soul
Leather-bound grimoire strapped to my side
Runnin’ from lawmen n’ dark things that ride

Curses n’ sigils scrawled into steel
The quick-draw’s a duel where fate makes the deal

Rootin’, tootin’, spell-castin’ high
One silver round, make the devil go cry
Ash in the campfire, smoke in the sky
Somethin’ wicked’s ridin’ by

Cards on the table, ace up my sleeve
Ain’t no escape when the spirits don’t leave
Black hat brim low, chantin’ my prayer
The ghosts of the West still linger out there

Ridin’ through legends, lost in the past
The cowboy’s a wizard, the spell’s gonna last

Slagathor the Cowboy Wizard

Return, refit, and redeploy to purge the stain of this failure with the peroxide of victory! How ’bout a nice caulk of liber-tea?

Strap on your boots, grab a cup of pride 
We’re liberty-sealin’ this countryside 
Got a problem? That’s just fine
Slap some freedom on that borderline

Tyranny’s a leak and we got the fix
With one stroke of justice, we seal it thick

How ‘bout a nice caulk of Liber-tea? 
Patriotic bonding, that’s the key
From sea to shining, watertight seal
We’re gluing this land in unity

Hot diggity, that's a seal

Dictators crack? We patch that split
Democracy’s flexed and built to fit
This ain’t a drill—it’s a revolution
With ultra-max super-tight sealant fusion!

Patchin’ up freedom, smooth and strong
A lifetime warranty, freedom lifelong

How ‘bout a nice caulk of Liber-tea?
Gotta problem? Seal it with glee
No drips, no leaks, no tyranny
We’re sticking together permanently

Oh, you better believe it, folks! This right here? This is the very same ultra-bonding, freedom-sealing, leak-busting technology that kept the founding fathers afloat! When Washington crossed the Delaware? BOOM! Flex-sealed hull! When Lincoln held the Union together? BAM! Flex-bonded democracy! And today, my friends, we stick it to evil!

One nation, under glue
Super polymer holdin’ true
No force can tear us down
Not while we’re sealed in sacred ground

From Helldive shores to outer space
We slap this justice on every place
In the name of the glue-born dream
We Flex the fight for liberty

Oppression melts under heat and light 
But this here seal? Locks it tight

How ‘bout a nice caulk of Liber-tea? 
Made with pride and guarantee
No cracks, no holes, just victory
Sovereign-strength Flexibility

Order now, super citizen!

Caulk of Liber-Tea

He carves equations into pavement cracks
Maps of madness—never looking back
A prophet in rags with a spiral mind
Numbers and riddles, truths undefined

Thoughts unchained, tangled in time
Brain Vagrant speaks—do you hear the signs

The moon is a ledger, the stars are receipts
He tallies the cosmos in sidewalks and streets
His notebook is burning, the pages dissolve
Brain Vagrant wanders—unsolved

The vending machine only dispenses regret

His mind is a fracture, a shimmering crack
A radio buzzing, no turning it back
The jukebox is laughing, the lampposts conspire
Brain Vagrant mutters, the city expires

Neon veins pulse in the stone
Brain Vagrant sees what can't be shown

The moon is a ledger, the stars are receipts
He tallies the cosmos in sidewalks and streets
His notebook is burning, the pages dissolve
Brain Vagrant wanders—unsolved

The radio speaks
The obituaries lie
The mind migrates
The lard hums tonight

Towers of thought collapse into dust
The script of the skyline crumbles in rust
Numbers are screaming, the wind carries doubt
Brain Vagrant whispers—then blinks himself out

Brain Vagrant… still walks… somewhere…

Brain Vagrant

Mmmmmmmhhhh aaahhhhhh
Oooohhhhhh aaaahhhhh
Uuuuuhhhhmmm hhhhhhnnnn
Oooaaahhhh ohhhhhhhh

Aaahhhhhh nnngghhhhh
Mmmmmmmhh ooooooooh

Oooooaaaahhhh aaaaahhhmmmm
Mmmmmmmhhh nnngghhhhhh
Aaaaahhhhhhh oooohhhhh
Mmmmhhhmmm uuuuuhhhh

Uuuhhhhmmmm
Nnnnggghhhhhhh

Oooooohhhhhh mmmmmmm
Aaaahhhhhhhh uuuuuhhhh
Nnnnngghhhhhh aaaahhhhh
Oooohhhhmmmm mmmhhhh

Mmmmmmmhhh aaahhhh
Ooooohhhhhh yeeaaaahhhh

Oooooaaaahhhh yesssssss
Mmmmmmmhhh nnngghhhhhh
Aaaaahhhhhhh oooohhhhh
Mmmmhhhmmm uuuuuhhhh

Nnnngghhhhh ooooooooh
Hhhhhhmmmmm aaaahhhh
Ssssssmmmmmmm ooooooh
Uuuuuhhhhhhh mmmhhhhhh

Mmmmmmhhhh ooooohhhh
Aaaaaahhhhh mmmmm

Oooooaaaahhhh yesssssss
Mmmmmmmhhh nnngghhhhhh
Aaaaahhhhhhh oooohhhhh
Mmmmhhhmmm uuuuuhhhh

Mmmmmhhhmmmm aaahhhhhh
Ooooooohhhhhh nnnnngggghhhh
Ssssshhhhhmmmm uuuuuhhhh
Aaaaahhhhh ohhhhhh

Mmmmmmmhhh ohhhhh
Nnnngggghhhhhh 

Oooooaaaahhhh yesssssss
Mmmmmmmhhh nnngghhhhhh
Aaaaahhhhhhh oooohhhhh
Mmmmhhhmmm uuuuuhhhh

Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhh

Through the Backdoor

How does one join the minecraft?

How does one join the minecraft?
How does one join the minecraft?

How does one join the minecraft?

How does one join the minecraft?
How does one join the minecraft?

I... have no idea, man

How Does One Join The Minecraft

Oh mighty land of concrete grey
Where all sadness is washed away
Glory hammer vodka bright
We march to work in endless night

Bread line long we stand so proud
Cold wind kiss face nose turn loud
KGB watch with friendly eye
Who complain to Gulag fly

Strong like bear but eat like mouse
Dreams of meat but is no cows

Soviet life is best of life
One potato feed whole wife
Vodka drip from frozen tap
Grandpa sleep in garbage scrap

Glorious leader mustache wide
Posters say he never lied
Factory work make steel so great
Pay is low but no escape

Glory come when suffer deep
If not like then take long sleep

Soviet life is best of life
One potato feed whole wife
Vodka drip from frozen tap
Grandpa sleep in garbage scrap

Train to nowhere full of soul
Secret police take control
Minister drive limousine
We eat rat but love regime

Black bread dry like history book
Neighbor gone? Don’t even look
Soviet future shining red
Work ‘til grave then go to bed

Flag so big it block the sky
Love the state or say goodbye

Soviet life is best of life
One potato feed whole wife
Vodka drip from frozen tap
Grandpa sleep in garbage scrap

Glory struggle cold and pain
Soviet Union rise again

Glorious Soviet Anthem of Struggle and Hardship

Strolling down the lane, big grin on my face

I stepped in the bakery, ordered some bread
Looked at the cashier, then proudly said
I had sex with a man last night, it was grand
She blinked twice, handed change with her hand

People keep walking, their eyes look away
But I’ve got a story, I must proudly say

I had sex with a man, oh yes, it's true
Wanted the village to share in the news
Told the postman, the grocer, the priest in his pew
No one reacted, they all just withdrew

Yeah, you heard me

I ran to the market, tapped on a shoulder
Told old Mrs. Jenkins, she just stirred her boulder
Why was she stirring a boulder? Doesn't matter, move on
I had sex with a man, isn't that neat?
She nodded, then shuffled away down the street

The butcher kept cutting, the cobbler looked down
Yet still, I paraded all over this town

I had sex with a man, oh yes, it's true
Wanted the village to share in the news
Told the milkman, the banker, the guy selling glue
Nobody cared, they all had things to do

Am I the only one excited here?

The blacksmith was hammering, I made him pause
I yelled through the clangs, "I broke some taboos"
He just wiped off his hands, said, "Good for you, lad"
Then asked if I needed a horseshoe real bad

I climbed to the tower, rang the town bell
Shouted my truth, oh I shouted it well
A pigeon just pooped, a dog chased a hen
A man bought potatoes, and life moved again

No celebration, no grand parade
Just old man Clarence, drinking his lemonade

I had sex with a man, oh yes, it's true
Wanted the village to share in the news
Told the barmaid, the shepherd, the guy with one shoe
Nobody cared, they all had things to do

So I went home, sighed, and sat in a chair
Might tell them again, maybe they’ll care


I Had Sex With a Man

Forbidden calculus in the air
Gravity vanishes without a care

Lord rips off shirt, it owed him cash
Lady breathes moths, lungs in a flash
He flexed and posed, the lights retreated
Clothes dissolved, physics defeated

“Prepare,” he whispers, “for passion divine”
Room trembling, dimensions align

Love torpedo, hummin’ free
Fueled by half a shake’s protein
Universe pauses, dolphins scream
Lord and lady’s fever dream

Spaghetti collision shakes the moon
Bed quits its job, too tired, too soon
His muscles scream with noise complaints
Omega of Passion, no restraints

He thrusts his hips, reality shifts
Existence shaken, space-time drifts

Love torpedo ,hummin’ free
Fueled by half a shake’s protein
Universe pauses, dolphins scream
Lord and lady’s fever dream

Somewhere distant, echoes reboot
The night records their bold pursuit
She knows deep down, this passion’s price
Normal walking sacrificed

Morning rises, passion spent
Lady knows she’s slightly bent

Love Torpedo

Yeah... stab me

I was walkin’ through the quarry with a sausage in my sock
Met a man with a hammer, said, "That’s no ordinary rock"
He carved it to a dagger with a chisel and a grin
Then he whispered through his nose holes, "Let the stabbin’ begin"

It ain’t sharp, it ain’t clean
But it’s the weirdest pain I’ve seen

Stab me with a rock — oh, what a shock
Leave me bleedin’ in the gravel, call the geologists to talk
Stab me with a stone, marrow hits the bone
How’d a sedimentary weapon wreck my cellular phone

I ran to the pharmacy, clutchin’ at my spleen
Said, "Doc, I need a Band-Aid for this igneous machine"
He nodded, handed gauze out, said, "That’s a jagged cut"
Then he handed me a pebble and stabbed me in the gut

Granite blade, limestone sting
What kinda weapon is this thing

Stab me with a rock — oh, what a shock
Leave me bleedin’ in the gravel, call the geologists to talk
Stab me with a stone, marrow hits the bone
How’d a sedimentary weapon wreck my cellular phone

I fell into a canyon, landed on some shale
Thought I'd seen the last of him — but nope, he stabbed my tail
Now I’m limpin’ through the valley, screamin’ to the sky
"Why’d you stab me with a rock, man? At least tell me why"

No good reason, no regret
I’m still pullin' gravel from my sweat

Stab me with a rock — oh, what a shock
Leave me bleedin’ in the gravel, call the geologists to talk
Stab me with a stone, marrow hits the bone
How’d a sedimentary weapon wreck my cellular phone

"You can’t stab someone with a rock"
"You absolutely can"

Stab me with a rock — oh, stab me with a rock
Yeah, stab me with a rock, and take my petting zoo stock

Stab Me With a Rock

Ooh, yeah!
Let’s go!
Pink skies, good vibes, we’re feelin’ alright, yeah!

Wake up, nails on point, phone lights up, it’s goin’ down
Pillow fights and glitter dust, all the girls are in the town
Candy hearts and shopping carts, spinning ‘round the makeup aisle
Sip a frappe, snap a pic, hit the road in perfect style

Twirling skirts and endless texts, emojis light the screen
Tonight’s the night, we’re gonna glow, like queens of every scene

Bubblegum dreams in a pink paradise
Dancing under strobe lights, everything’s so nice
Cupcakes and confetti, yeah, we’re livin’ the dream
Sugar rush forever in this candy-coated scene

Ooh-oh-oh
Let’s paint the town pink
Ooh-oh-oh
Sparkle ‘til we blink

Roller skates and rainbow shades, music blasting down the street
Selfies on the boardwalk, every pose is picture sweet
Ice cream cones, the night is young, sprinkles falling like the stars
Car karaoke, sing it loud, it’s magic where we are

Lip gloss shines, the beat won’t stop, we’re vibin’ in a glow
This pink parade, it never fades, come on, let’s go-go-go

Bubblegum dreams in a pink paradise
Dancing under strobe lights, everything’s so nice
Cupcakes and confetti, yeah, we’re livin’ the dream
Sugar rush forever in this candy-coated scene

Ooh-oh-oh!
Let’s paint the town pink!
Ooh-oh-oh!
Sparkle ‘til we blink!

Pink balloons and glitter streams,
Catching every shiny beam
Heartbeats racing, smiles so bright
We’re the stars of our own night

Paint The Town Pink

Oh fuck, not this again…

Uncle’s fingers, deep inside
Said it’s normal, that motherfucker lied
Shot my load, gerbil swam
Too much nut, now it’s gone, goddamn

Hit the pet store, mad as hell
Needed a ferret, but they said, “Oh well”

No ferret, no nut, now I'm losin' my shit
All these elf bitches want this dick
But I don’t fuck with pointy-eared freaks
Rather bust in a cage full of guinea-pigs

Wub-wub, take it bitch

Walked in mad with my balls still tight
Clerk looked dumb, said “Yeah, that’s life”
Told him straight, “I need some fur”
Said “Try a rat,” man, fuck that slur

Now I’m pent-up, still no pet
Elf girls sniffin’ but I ain’t wet

No ferret, no nut, now I'm losin' my shit
All these elf bitches want this dick
But I don’t fuck with pointy-eared freaks
Rather bust in a cage full of guinea pigs

Back off, knife-eared sluts

Uncle’s hands, deep in me
Gerbil drowned, RIP
Ferret dreams, turned to dust
Elves still beggin’, I just cuss

No ferret, no peace
Balls still full, someone release

Elf Bitches Want This Dick

Lullaby for Dad's Little Trophy

This is crack. Rock cocaine
It is kid stuff, and it can kill you
You risk dying
Look, everyone wants to be dead wrong

Veins collapse like brittle glass
Teeth rot black, lungs full of ash
Flesh peels back, nerves exposed
Rotting faster than a corpse decomposed

Feed the sickness, let it spread
Drag the soul where angels bled

Dead wrong! Breathe the plague
Hollow eyes, a severed fate
Dead wrong! Choke the swarm
Drown in filth, embrace the storm

Needle bites, the skin turns gray
Heart explodes, skulls decay
Bones dissolve in toxic flood
Guttering flames, drowning in mud

Fingers twitch in rigor’s grip
Laughter echoes, tongues are split

Dead wrong! Breathe the plague
Hollow eyes, a severed fate
Dead wrong! Choke the swarm
Drown in filth, embrace the storm

Huff the fumes, let the rot infest
Crack man laughs while death digests
Jaws unhinge, the marrow leaks
Endless night, the void now speaks

Bones are brittle, minds are torn
Beg for death but it won’t mourn
Sunk in waste, a broken pawn
Buried deep, forever gone

Sludge of flesh, a wasted breath
Beg for mercy, laugh at death

Dead wrong! Breathe the plague
Hollow eyes, a severed fate
Dead wrong! Choke the swarm
Drown in filth, embrace the storm


This Is Crack Cocaine

Flesh stretched tight, bent in a coil
Veins pulse black with rancid oil
The valves collapse, the flood pours back
A golden tide through a ruptured tract

Twisted angles, pressure grows
Reversing flow, the sewer knows

Pissing in my own asshole
Recycling pain, let the gutters roll
Circle of filth, ouroboric stream
A bladder’s curse in a nightmare dream

Torqued intestines writhe and scream
Liquified hate in a burning stream
The rupture gapes, a sacred wound
Worship the flood in a piss-caked tomb

Gut-bound vortex, twisting fate
Gasping deep as the levee breaks

Pissing in my own asshole
Recycling pain, let the gutters roll
Circle of filth, ouroboric stream
A bladder’s curse in a nightmare dream

Flesh and function intertwined
Fecal fate, the laws unwind
Tide runs backward, exit sealed
Baptized where the wound is healed

Wracked with sweat, a fevered haze
Closed-loop ruin, time decays
Collapsed within, the cycle tight
A yellow dawn, a septic night

Locked in motion, cursed to drown
Choking back as the stream flows down

Pissing in my own asshole
Recycling pain, let the gutters roll
Circle of filth, ouroboric stream
A bladder’s curse in a nightmare dream

Drown me
In myself

Pissing in My Own Asshole

Down by the river where the soil runs deep
He’s graftin’ new roots while the lawmen sleep
Got a PhD in chlorophyll crime
Crossbreedin’ species, playin’ god all time

Ain’t no line that he won’t cross
Green thumb sharper than a Sphagnum Moss

He’s a botanical gangster, breakin’ the mold
Splicing them stems like a kingpin bold
Petals and pistils, outlaw strain
Growin’ what science can’t explain

Got a greenhouse rigged like a chemist’s dream
Drippin’ hydroponics, LED beam
They knock on his door, he don’t play along
Says, "Nature ain't illegal, man, laws are wrong"

Ain’t no ethics slowin’ down
Pollination underground

He’s a botanical gangster, seeds in his coat
Germination game got the whole world woke
Leaves so rare, they don’t got no name
Drippin’ with nectar, rewirin’ the brain

He got vines that’ll strangle steel
Roots that drink the tears of dealin’ eels
Man got orchids that glow at dawn
And a cactus that hums your mama’s song

He don’t bow to rules or codes
Jungle empire overloads
Every petal, every spore
Is breakin’ through the lab’s back door

They came with warrants, he came with mist
Turned the courtroom into a photosynth twist
Judge took one breath, got lost in the air
Said, "Son, I ain’t never seen science so rare"

Ain’t no jail can hold his roots
Sproutin’ straight from concrete boots

He’s a botanical gangster, legend untamed
Turnin’ whole cities into gardens reclaimed
No law can chain what the earth has made
Just a ghost in the green, lettin’ nature invade

Botanical Gangster

Kein Einwurf... Kein Licht... Nur Weiß... Nur Zeit...

Ich zähle Sekunden auf rostigem Stahl
Die Münzen sind fort, das Leben ist schal
Der Schnee türmt sich leise auf meinen Sinn
Und niemand wirft ein, und niemand will hin

Ich stand für euch, ich war gerecht
Jetzt frier’ ich ein, komplett zu Recht

Klick – klack – Kälte brennt in meinen Drähten
Pieps – stopp – ich fühl das Eis mich zertreten
Leer – laut – mein Speicher friert Gedanken
Ich zähl nur Zeit, bis die Welten wanken

Ein Hund pinkelt warm an mein Fundament
Der Mensch geht vorbei, so desinteressiert, fremd
Ich träum von der Zeit, als ihr noch gezahlt
Doch Träume erfrieren, wenn niemand mehr prahlt

Mein Display blind, mein Herz aus Blech
Der Sturm ist König, alles wird schwäch

Klick – klack – Kälte brennt in meinen Drähten
Pieps – stopp – ich fühl das Eis mich zertreten
Leer – laut – mein Speicher friert Gedanken
Ich zähl nur Zeit, bis die Welten wanken

Die Laterne neben mir stirbt im Licht
Ein letzter Funke, doch er reicht nicht
Ich war ein Wächter für Minuten und Pflicht
Jetzt bin ich nur Stille, im ewigen Nichts

Mein Winterherz schlägt ohne Zweck
Ein Denkmal aus Stahl im weißen Dreck

Klick – klack – Kälte brennt in meinen Drähten
Pieps – stopp – ich fühl das Eis mich zertreten
Leer – laut – mein Speicher friert Gedanken
Ich zähl nur Zeit, bis die Welten wanken

Gedanken eines Parkmeters im Schneesturm

Tarmac trembles under twenty-seven wheels
Fumes of bison marrow leaking from the seals
Roadkill alphabet spelled out in fractured teeth
Sodium lights flicker over barnyard wreaths

Passed a silo spewing beige—unclear if grain or bone
Billboard screams "Eat Elma" in a shrill hydraulic tone

Drive 'til the sun is a flatulence smear
Gravel-throat laughter rings clear in my ear
Windshield bug guts coagulate thoughts
Every new exit is freshly distraught

Jackknifed tanker bleeding shrimp onto the berm
Priest hitchhiker gnawing raw corn like a worm
Fog as thick as spleen gas leaks through vents
Tumbleweed filled with dentist parts rolls past a tent

Rest stop bathroom gave advice I didn’t ask
"Chew the gravel, child," etched into the paper mask

Drive 'til your eyeballs feel powdered and steeped
Rear-view ghost cows in a cavalcade creeped
Rumble strip Morse code spells out regret
Mileage high, but we’re not there yet

Trucker radio speaks in tongues of pork and oil
"Watch for the man with the cough made of boil"
Overpass graffiti simply reads: Drew...
Was it a warning? Maybe. Hard to construe.

Passed a van that was entirely bees
Driver looked calm. Unsettlingly at ease

Drive past the theme park submerged in brine
Drive past the cult with the "Turnip is Spine" sign
Drive until borders forget that they’re there
Drive through the continent’s muscular stare

Roadkill Alphabet

I took my break at half past two
Slipped past the shelf of alginate goo
Behind the sink where molars dry
I watched the vapor start to rise

The denture tech just shook his head
He thought the crown kiln smoked instead

Vaping in the bathroom, hiding in the stall
Flavors drifting softly through the partials on the wall
Lab coats rustled, whispers grew
They smelled the crème brûlée and knew

I slipped between the denture trays
Where air was thick with composite haze
The bathroom fan had long since died
So mango swirl just couldn’t hide

Vaping in the bathroom, hiding in the stall
Flavors drifting softly through the partials on the wall
Lab coats rustled, whispers grew
They smelled the crème brûlée and knew

Now I vape outside by the garbage bin
Where snow and dust still clings to skin
The lab replaced my name with “void”
And sterilized the air I spoiled

Vaping in the bathroom, hiding in the stall
Flavors drifting softly through the partials on the wall
Lab coats rustled, whispers grew
They smelled the crème brûlée and knew

Vaping in the Bathroom

Clock-in time was 7:02
Now I'm flagged in the system queue
Filed my soul in Section D
Supervisor just stared at me

Don’t raise your voice in HR Bay
Emotion must be filed away

Oooh, Form B-Seventy-Seven
(Must be filled in triplicate)
Got that audit feelin’
(With my beige-toned syndicate)
Compliance is freedom
Stamp me where I stand
The rhythm of my heart is
A 48-month plan

No spice on my regulation rice
The recipe passed the Blandness Vice
National anthem in monotone
With solo slide whistle and dial tone

Don’t skank without approval slip
Improvised joy is an ethics trip

Oooh, Form B-Seventy-Seven
(Submit it before noon break)
Burnin’ down the weekend
(With a non-disclosure cake)
Tempo of my leisure
Set to fiscal code
We dance in single file
On the compliance road

Riddim of the scanner gun
A cubicle is where I run
My dreadlocks made of Ethernet
My soul's been sold to the intranet

Blessed be the filing tray
I serve the fax, I do not sway

Oooh, Form B-Seventy-Seven
(Don’t you dare go off the grid)
Freedom’s in procedure
(That’s what the pamphlet did)
Every step is measured
Each sigh notarized
This reggae got no wobble
It’s structurally advised



Bureaucracy Reggae

Gud moorning piipöl

Aim oupen njyy peits mai juutuup tsänel
Ai, nou, tät is mai kitsen änd mai rous
uhhh, ai snif mai rous, veri gud, teist
Nou nou nou tis moorning ai poilin mai kofe meiker

Nou, ai, jes fres woterr
fres woterr finnis woter is guud
woter, woter pest woter in tö wöörlt
Tis is mai röfritköreittör, jes

Ai niid kofi änd milkk
pat not taim is milkk
pikoos milkk is vörm
öm ai niid öh ai niid peippör

kofi peippör pat wot is tät
öh tät öh riöl neim?
Wot is tät peippör riöl neim
Ai sei'ing kofi peippör

kofi saifon peippör
Duu juu laik tät neim?
Jes mai laif is njyy peids
Ai took ounli Inglis

Jes ai niid spuun änd kofi
Nou juu wots wen ai poiling mai
Poiling mai kofi
Ouppen ouppen ouppen

Tät is veri difikulti
Van händ sat ap sat ap
Juu eiter sat ap voter
Tät is veri fani

Ou mai spuun, ai teik mai kofi ounli Inglis
Nou. Ai niid van änd khälf spuun kofi
Kofi öö öö vat is tät neim?
Nou nou nou nou tät is diffikult

Ai sei, ai dropp offf mai spuun
änd teik mai kofi kofi kofi
Niid not varm kofi niid kould
Pikoos kofi insaid os flesh

Not flesh
Ai niid dät I niid dät I niid dät
Tät is kofi tät is veri dei
Dei deintsör pikoos kofi is varm jes

Is tät laik terriblöö
Ven ai spiik inglish juu juu juu
ömm öm öm juu klik off dät tsänel
Jes ai jes ai jes foor kaps in voter

If juu laik mai video juu pus dät paton
Ven finker is jees juu pus paton
Ven piktsöör is seim äss finker
öh öh vat is tät

Pat juu pus dät paton ven is teik piktsöör
If juu laik mai vidious
Pauer on ful pauer mai kofi mäsiin is ful pauer
Ven ai visit inglish änd ai

Cofe Time For in Talk English

Born in a truck bed, swaddled in a flag
Raised on diesel, chew, and unfiltered brags
Got a Bible in my glove box, a Glock in my jeans
And a bumper sticker longer than my self-esteem

I ain't scared of your facts or your fancy degrees
My truth's got boots, and it drinks antifreeze

I got a Trump Card, baby, tattooed on my chest
Ain’t about size, it’s about who screams best
Micropenis glory, still outranks your hog
'Cause freedom’s in my blood, not your Berkeley blog

I once wrestled guilt in a Waffle House stall
Shot a Bud Light can off a courthouse wall
I pledge allegiance with a barbecue stain
And if it ain't Trump, then we cancel the brain

Your Prius won’t tow what my morals can drag
And I iron my jorts with the Confederate flag

I got a Trump Card, baby, scratched into my truck
I may be short, but I vote like I’m fucked
Micropenis proud, with a nuclear gaze
Turnin’ liberal logic into mayonnaise

Call me toxic? That’s a compliment, son
I recycle rage and I chew it for fun
No need for ten pounds — I got precision and wrath
And a roadmap to heaven through a gas station bath

So take your textbooks and shove 'em in a yurt
I got ten commandments inked on my undershirt

I got a Trump Card, baby, and it fits in my pants
I vote with my fists and I square-dance with rants
Micropenis justice, sharp like a spade
Diggin’ graves for elites with a tailgate parade

Trump Card

Lacerated skull, the ligma spread
A decade lodged in cranium dread
Nerve rot in spiral, brainstem decay
Grandmother Jon, dragged inch by day

Enumclaw weeps in fungal breath
Each sunrise birthed a newer death

Cranial ligma, wrathful tomb
Synaptic spores erupt and bloom
She died with dignity, I screamed in shame
Zaitsev blood, ignites the flame

Grief-etched in warranty claims I write
To Dell, in sorrow, black and white
You sold me hardware, she sold me love
Now all I hold is ash above

Restrain your pity, let silence burst
This wound demands the very worst

Cranial ligma, festering grace
The maggots sing inside her face
Circuit boards can't mend the hole
That swallowed Egor’s shattered soul

Bury her deep, beneath Enumclaw snow
Where elk don’t graze, and routers glow
I plead for rest, I beg for peace
Let mourning scream, then let it cease

One more breath through blood I gift
Let tombstone serve the final shift

Cranial ligma — cold and true
Her neurons gone, I mourn through you
Respect the grave, deny the sale
The Life of Egor, a brutal tale

Cranial Ligma

An ode to Taco Beef, the most glorious of land-based vertebrates

Ode to Taco Beef

Saw my shadow in a rubber suit, talkin' to a mime
Mirror on the ceiling, whisperin' in rhymes
Stopped my watch at half-past noon, fed it lemon rind
Danced with my reflection, beep beep back in time

Static on the radio, cracklin' like a spine
Every clock’s a joker, tickin' in a line

Beep beep back in time
Neon shoes, twisted signs
Shadows grow and wriggle free
Funked up, folded history

Pigeons made of cardboard, shufflin' down the street
Gumball machine prophet, hummin' broken beats
Found a penny in the gutter, felt my life unwind
Danced with my reflection, beep beep back in time

Spirals in my coffee cup, swirlin' by design
Paintings on my wall, startin' to align

Beep beep back in time
Neon shoes, twisted signs
Shadows grow and wriggle free
Funked up, folded history

Traffic lights are laughing, red and green collide
Met a postman with no letters, said his thoughts had died
Rolled my eyes across the pavement, let the world rewind
Danced with my reflection, beep beep back in time

Letters falling out my mouth, scribbled every line
All my words a paper trail, foldin' into mine

Beep beep back in time
Neon shoes, twisted signs
Shadows grow and wriggle free
Funked up, folded history

Beep Beep Back in Time

Rats scatter as the cleaver falls
Cracked teeth bite through the human sprawl
Maggot-tongue whispers, hunger unchained
Marrow-rich feasts, every limb retained

Matted beard, sinew frayed
Flesh and bone, my gourmet prey

Delicious, succulent hobo, raw and pure
Every tendon, every joint, my banquet obscure
Street-born flavour, muscle wrapped in grime
Every bite a ritual, a feast so sublime

Knuckles crack as the fire ignites
Hobo spit crackles in the gutter light
Spine snaps clean with a butcher’s grace
Roaming hunter, silent in his taste

Bleeding gums, rust-stained blade
Every corpse a meal, every death repaid

Delicious, succulent hobo, raw and pure
Every tendon, every joint, my banquet obscure
Street-born flavour, muscle wrapped in grime
Every bite a ritual, a feast so sublime

Carve the ribs, twist the spine
Pry the tendons, snap the mind
Gutless, heartless, primal feast
On the streets, I’m the final beast

Jagged teeth, feral gaze
Blood-slicked smile, I haunt their strays

Delicious, succulent hobo, raw and pure
Every tendon, every joint, my banquet obscure
Street-born flavour, muscle wrapped in grime
Every bite a ritual, a feast so sublime

Delicious Succulent Hobo

Mojo Priest (instrumental)

In a world where zombies groan
And T-Virus has been blown
There’s a guy who’s all alone
Punching boulders, breaking stone

He’s got muscles, got the power
In the final, fateful hour
Boulders crumble, villains cower
Chris Redfield, he’s the flower

Chris Redfield, punching boulders
With a love that never smolders
Rainbow heart, and perfect shoulders
He just punches, feeling bolder

Chris Redfield, with a bulge in his pants
Chris Redfield, gobbling eggplants

Wesker smirks and plans his doom
Umbrella’s schemes in every room
But Chris just cracks his knuckles, boom
Turns a mansion to a tomb

Fists like anvils, iron pride
Every boulder’s terrified
Earth itself seems to abide
When he swings his arms so wide

Chris Redfield, punching harder
Splits the rock, a human martyr
Veins like cables, chest like armor
He’s the boulder’s final charmer

Chris Redfield, with a bulge in his pants
Chris Redfield, gobbling eggplants

Raging storms and howling gales
Zombies fall like shattered scales
Every strike a myth regales
He’s the fist that never fails

Flesh and granite, bone and might
Breaking stone, embracing fight
With each punch, the earth takes flight
Chris Redfield, endless spite

Chris Redfield, punching boulders
With a love that never smolders
Rainbow heart, and perfect shoulders
He just punches, feeling bolder

Chris Redfield, with a bulge in his pants
Chris Redfield, gobbling eggplants

Boulder Punching Man

I rose from foam and leg machines
A loincloth made of glistening dreams
My hips ignite the prairie floor
And every squat unlocks a door

Thrust it forward, let it speak
Groin of glory, mystique chic

Pelvic fury, burning bright
Grinding moonlight into flight
Sweat is law and law is thrust
In leg-warmed wrath, we learn to trust

Behold my form, a lunge cascade
My calves were forged in protein shade
Knees are bent, but fate stands tall
My pelvis is a wrecking ball

Swivel sacred, flex the pact
Spandex truth must not retract

Pelvic fury, feel the quake
Like VHS on retro bake
Gyrate justice, glute decree
What burns in you… was born in me

I cleanse the weak with lunge and moan
My VHS—your fitness throne
From Corman Park to Thrust Plateau
I squatted once... and caused a snow

Feel the fire in the loam
Every rep, a call to home

Pelvic fury, sacred sweat
Hips don’t lie, and yet, and yet
They prophesy a thrustful dawn
Where flexing legions carry on


Thrust Razzleton's Pelvic Fury

Gums of the sacred herd ooze curdled slime
Luxembourg dusk—bells toll the grime
Hooves restrained on cobblestone slab
Priests of plaque begin to jab

Chant the code in dental tone
Bring the brie, and cone of bone

Briecone through the molar gate
Pierce the jaw, excavate
Clotted pulp, enamel split
Bovine shrine in sacred spit

Blessed udder priest, in ivory robes
Climbs atop the traffic cone of probes
Anoints the brie with gingival wax
Drives it in with bovine axe

O cheese of pain, divine in stench
Crack the fang, release the wench

Briecone through the molar gate
Pierce the jaw, excavate
Clotted pulp, enamel split
Bovine shrine in sacred spit

Crowd erupts in phlegmy moans
As brie seeps down into the bones
Tooth crowned not in gold, but dairy
They chew the priest—flesh gone hairy

Brie-mass ends with bovine gore
One cow lives, but none are pure

Briecone through the molar gate,
Pierce the jaw, excavate!
Clotted pulp, enamel split,
Bovine shrine in sacred spit!

Gargled rites in mucous tongue
Heifers kneel with bristles flung
Scraping hymns in foaming mass
Milk-washed relics in a glass
Traffic cone now crowned in plaque
Brie ignites the chewing wrack

Cloven teeth in fervent churn
Jaws erupt as fillings burn
Brie fermenting deep within
Tongues convulse in dairy sin

Cuspids hiss the final breath
Cone ascends, then melts in death

Briecone through the molar gate
Pierce the jaw, excavate
Clotted pulp, enamel split
Bovine shrine in sacred spit

Briecone Bovine Sacrament

With hubcaps blessed by monks of Tibet
Your Suzuki X-90’s the safest bet
Its horn emits a sacred tone
Once used to bless the Pope’s cologne

One honk, and twenty goats collapsed
The priest applauded, then relapsed

You're living loud in the X-nine-oh,
The stop signs bow and green lights glow
You rev and taxes pay themselves
Your trunk contains six thoughtful elves

Suzuki key in hand, you start
Unlocking secrets, gods impart
The glovebox holds a shrine of gold
The cupholder dispenses cold

My cousin wept when it reversed
He now collects pre-Cambrian thirst

You're living the dream in the Suzuki X90
The seats massage your spine so finely
You bypass queues and tolls and lines
You age in reverse. It’s by design

Suzuki X-90 has no peers
It won three races, caused four cheers
It idles once and cows give milk
Its seatbelt’s made of woven silk

The Suzuki’s hum reshapes the sky
The rearview makes the angels cry

You're living the dream in the Suzuki X90
Where tires preach of poets mighty
You wink, and satellites recalibrate
You brake, and orphans graduate

Ninety Reasons to Buy a Second-Hand Suzuki X90

Graduated from Corman Park College of Dental Numismatics in 1993, with a graduate degree in Experimental Post-Sludge.

mchorsebones@gmail.com

MC Horsebones

Popular tracks