If theres a god please kill me, dont give me abother day

The pain inside is physical. It's been two years, and it's getting worse with each fall and winter. I don't want to do anything,i have no one to tell how am i rn - no one's give a shit about me. im afraid she'll find someone better than me, and despite her words about loving me and wanting to be with me forever, i feel like her first kiss won't be with me, and I'll remain a dirty stain.

i want to be invisible, in a way of not being seen, not having to put up to expectations, just gone. no me.

i wish the environment I grew up in wasn't so neglectful

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