Waiting for the metro in the middle of the day, 
Seven LIDL bags and a Fafa’s take away.
Half an hour later at the station all alone,
Metro shows up empty with a stench of acetone.
Ah-hah, Ah-hah,
Thirty seconds in, I might get a bladder stone.

Heading for the seat, touching nothing on my way,
If there’s some COVID, I don’t wanna pass away.
No one’s coming in, I can only hope and pray.
Just before the start, there’s this dude that comes my way.
Ah-hah, Ah-hah,
Makes me wanna run away.

He isn’t only fit, handsome, charming, and polite,
He’s looking straight at me with a dripping appetite.
He spots my seven bags and his strategy is clear.
I know I must be tough, he should not be coming near. 
Ah-hah, Ah-hah,
I can always play it queer.

My stop is next in line and I’m heading for the door, 
My feet seem to resign, so I end up on the floor. 
The dude’s up in his seat, and he’s staring in dismay,
Me, shouting on repeat for him to stay away.
Ah-hah, Ah-hah,
And just to back it up, I pull out a can of spray...

Quarandance (Remastered)

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