performed, written, & produced by me @mental
featuring @blxty

[mental]
i could never hate u
doesnt matter what u do
i know that u hate me
usually i hate me too
tired of complaining
but idk what else to do
tired of explaining
every wrong move i choose

feels like ive lost every reason
nobody else to believe in
think ive got too many secrets
so i keep sleeping and dreaming
that once for a change i could feel something else
and it pains me to stay with the cards ive been dealt
i could keep moving forwards and look for some help
but id rather exist with just u and myself <3

[blxty]
so bby tell me what hits harder den my words
i'm sick n tired of explaining so u first
i still cant find it so i cant tell u my worth
so bby would tell me would u feel the same..
if u were hurt
Like wud it work?
wud u find me useful?
or wud i b like dirt?
and maybe it's just a process
One that i can not process
bang my head n the wall
and u wont tell me i lost it
pls jus tell me i lost it

https://open.spotify.com/album/5dkyRFb1yJPEI0MDEtQi8v?si=7obS22PkQE-X6LH4oxsTHA

after you feat blxty

everything by me @mental

[lyrics]
you couldnt tell me that u dont
feel the same way
u know ur perfect
u know ur perfect

u couldnt lie i know it hurts
when you fake it
i swear ur perfect
ur f*cking perfect

i cant try my best
sometimes we dont fall apart at night (:
i wanna vanish from your eyes
touch my arm relax my mind
i know its hard but its alright
you just have to give it time
anything is possible
you dont believe it close your eyes

and ill show u
anything u want
no matter what the cost is
id even sell my heart
id even be forgotten
we dont have to stop
i swear to god and promise
but that wont keep me falling

every day is way too much
i cant fall in and out of love
everything u tell me punches
me i feel it in a rush
i dont wanna feel your touch
tell me something make it up
tell me that u hate my guts
try my hardest not to blush

*letting it all out*

skylight

prod me @mental

@kairo6k
@mitsooya
@blxty

https://open.spotify.com/track/437O0RBtvtzqE4U5OtPv7Z?si=e641fde85d4f4777

ache ft grandee

https://open.spotify.com/track/2osiAqYqbnUp9oyXeXlvjk

performed, written, & produced by me @mental

lyrics:

broke my heart like 1000 times
been in so much pain dont even realize
i dont even think that this is real lifee
tryna find the courage will u be mine?

say whats up,
heavy hearted thats enough
i depend on hollow love
feel the weight and like a bug,
im crushed (x7)

i feel like im dying everyday
i dont wanna lie girl, im feeling scared
its not rly like me 2 be awake
every single night, when ur walking away
tell me everything that u want me to say
cause i could never say every word on my brain
i put my back in this art and my soul in ur heart
and u still wouldnt even do the same...
think i gtg :/

like a bug

performed, written, & produced by me @mental

lyrics:

dont know how to live without ur touch
got me feeling like ive never been enough
i was helpless but i still thought i was lucky
i gave up thinking about giving up
doesnt matter even if i try my hardest
it wont ever be the way that it was
and i made my circle smaller than ur heart is
idc im prepared to collapse

every time i think, its a burden to me... keep my mind in silence
i miss every night when we talked bout nothing we still laughed and smiled
but i guess that ur onto the next thing i just dont wanna be alive
and i thought u were never gonna lie but u said u were never gonna let me cry

it was a waste of time when i crumpled up into pieces
fake smile hope they believe it
i know they rly hate me so im bleeding
heart broken crying and screaming
hole in my chest idk how im breathing
new pain but its not for a reason
new day and another ones leaving
idk how to cope with these feelings

homesick

everything by me @mental

new day but same pain
i know some things never change
look @ this place
see the smile on my face
it gets erased
all the things that shouldve stayed
all got replaced
thats why i dont trust when u say those words
thats why i dont love cause my heart just burns
running out of luck yea i might be cursed
nothing ever felt like itd make this worse
but u seemed so sure

thats why i dont feel the damage
thats why every time i look my heart stops
thats why every time we kiss my heart breaks
in the back of my mind im still pissed off
tell me what i did, did i kiss wrong?
i dont wanna sing if its this song
ive never felt one day this off (x2)

and it felt like u were right
i forgot the way to sleep
so i thought bout u all night
and i thought at least u tried
but i figured out u lied
im just resting in the sky

erased

produced by mental

[mental]
tell me i’m fine
cause i don’t know if i’m still alive
told myself that i would follow my dreams
‘cause i don’t think that they would care if i died
i told them it’s getting harder to try
there’s no point i feel like this all the time
i can’t see through all the tears that i cry
but i don’t care, i’ll just pretend it’s a smile

so i’m letting it go
until one day we’re close again, i guess
and i’m still so alone
i hope this is the worst that it ever will get
so i’m letting it go
until one day we’re close again, i guess
cause you ripped a hole into my chest
but i’ll still love you with everything left

[blxty]
and i don’t think i could ever hurt you
love or not baby this is not a virtue
and back to my normal life that i revert to
i revert to, to someone that can hurt you

every second i’m a bother
i think i should just go cut you off
why do i even bother
i know you don’t even care at all
situations kinda crazy
bang my head straight through the wall
so i should probably just let it go

[mental]
so i’m letting it go
until one day we’re close again, i guess
and i’m still so alone
i hope this is the worst that it ever will get
so i’m letting it go
until one day we’re close again, i guess
cause you ripped a hole into my chest
but i’ll still love you with everything left

letting go +blxty

produced by litothedon

[blxty]
i feel awful
i think i could better can you blame me
sit in silence in my room on the daily
i think you’re the only one that can save me
so baby can you come.. come and save me
am i second guessing?? i don’t know.. maybe
so much on my mind my vision going hazy
i need to work on myself but shit i’m lazy
if you gave me your love it’d be amazing

[mental]
could you blame me?
i forgot what love is like it’s hazy
used to think that i was going crazy
shooting for the stars, i’m not good at aiming
i was really down as hell i told you i was barely functioning
told you i was scared you never told me something comforting
i don’t need these luxuries, only need your company
we both miss the summer breeze, so baby come and run with me
but if you can’t then it’s fine, i can wait
dream about the day when you and i can run away
tired of this pain, i need some escape
your words in my head, i can hear them in my brain
i can’t feel them though
i thought she let go, i was in my g-l-o
you’re who i wanna see the most
but we can keep it slow
we just chilling in the bnb i feel like bno

[blxty]
i feel awful
i think i could better can you blame me
sit in silence in my room on the daily
i think you’re the only one that can save me
so baby can you come.. come and save me
am i second guessing?? i don’t know.. maybe
so much on my mind my vision going hazy
i need to work on myself but shit i’m lazy
if you gave me your love it’d be amazing

save me +blxty

produced by mental
featuring @sanriorose

[blxty]
i don’t wanna do it but you’re leaving me with no choice
do i go? do i stay? i don’t know got no voice
ridin’ around at night this ain’t a chrystler this a rolls royce
i done said fuck this shit turn my life to a exploit
he need a heal he need a regen
yeah this like pokemon take a trip to kanto region
bellsprout bitch i’m weeping
he saw me go up and now he tryna reason
i sent his bro up you can hear the stairs they creaking

[mental]
we on go
don’t even speak they already know
bro play with sticks like a gamer he got peripherals
i love, expensive clothes and impressive poles
we came in aggressive though, and left with hella rolls
they can’t talk to me i’m putting down my telephone
dead guys all up in my wallet and they hella old
money in my pocket walk up into saks and let ‘em go
if you with us and isn’t winning that's unacceptable

[dolly]
erm...

[blxty]
i don’t wanna do it but you’re leaving me with no choice
do i go? do i stay? i don’t know got no voice
ridin’ around at night this ain’t a chrystler this a rolls royce
i done said fuck this shit turn my life to a exploit
he need a heal he need a regen
yeah this like pokemon take a trip to kanto region
bellsprout bitch i’m weeping
he saw me go up and now he tryna reason
i sent his bro up you can hear the stairs they creaking

kanto +blxty (feat. dolly)

produced by mental
featuring @summerbabe2007

[uchu nekoko]
その涙の意味と理由さえ解らずに / 君の姿を時計の針は見つめ続けた

[mental]
i can feel my heart race when we talk
want your heart, but you’re keeping it on lock
love it when we’re close, hate when we’re apart
cause i fell in love, fell in love too hard
but it’s fine if we take it slow
love your warmth but i hate the cold
broken heart but you made it whole
broken heart but you made it whole

[blxty]
i just wanna love you but it feels wrong
gotta keep it in my heart gotta stay strong
gotta stay up even when i’m feeling down
don’t wanna see you with a frown
live my life like a dlc
everywhere i walk they wanna be like me
put it on my life girl you’re so mean
…you’re so…

[uchu nekoko]:
always with you, always with you
picture of you

skirt +blxty (feat. uchu nekoko)

produced by mental
featuring @lazydoll

[blxty]
she tried to steal my heart so i put that shit on lockdown
i’d make her pay the price but i hate seeing her frown
i crack under pressure cus’ i’m usually in the background
and her words be falling through these cracks making me drown
she tried to steal my heart so i put that shit on lockdown
i’d make her pay the price but i hate seeing her frown
i crack under pressure cus’ i’m usually in the background
and her words be falling through these cracks making me drown

[mental]
broke my heart but i still think that you’re lovely
tell the truth, i already know it’s ugly
i can’t tell if you ever really loved me
they love to cut me, i turn into nothing
all i know is that i don’t wanna feel it
keep on talking but i don’t wanna hear it
all these thoughts inside my head, gotta clear it
heartless there’s no way you could steal it

[lazydoll]
please dont make me hurt
if you leave, i'll never be alright
when i see your eyes
全てを知れたって思っていた
i gave you all but maybe it's worthless
足りないものを僕に教えて
it's painful my words never reach you
never reach you

[blxty]
she tried to steal my heart so i put that shit on lockdown
i’d make her pay the price but i hate seeing her frown
i crack under pressure cus’ i’m usually in the background
and her words be falling through these cracks making me drown
she tried to steal my heart so i put that shit on lockdown
i’d make her pay the price but i hate seeing her frown
i crack under pressure cus’ i’m usually in the background
and her words be falling through these cracks making me drown

lovely +blxty (feat. lazydoll)

performed, written, & produced by me @mental

lyrics:
like i said myself i tried
cause it hurts when ur by my side
i feel broken all the time
u make me forget that its not even life 
when im in ur presence
i start getting nervous
i dont think u get it
dont think i deserve it
if we sat in silence
would u think im perfect
im barely surviving
wish i knew my purpose

tell me that im worth it please
ill love you eternally
now its me versus me
everything is hurting me
burn me like the third degree
ill just go and burn myself
when i tried it
nothing made me happy
i went to the violence
i thought it was better
tell me if u like me
ill accept ur answer
or should i pretend like i never even met her

perfect

performed, written, & produced by me @mental

I think you're my most beautiful secret.

There's a hole where my heart is. I mean, where my heart was. Been there since it started, it's gotta be karma. And I know that I could never love myself, from the trauma. Even if they try to comfort me I know I'm the problem. Tell me why.

I broke my own heart again and fixed it by myself. And I stopped it but it starts again, I'm never feeling well. Can you send me down to hell please? Cause I'm scared I'm not healthy. Don't know how to make it feel alright. I told you a thousand times but you can't get it through your brain. Told you that I hate you but you went up and you got away. I wish you would ago away. I don't want to see your face. I DON'T WANT TO SEE YOUR FACE. ANYWHERE. NOT YOUR NAME EITHER

Tell Me Why

tell me whyy

performed, written, & produced by me @mental

lyrics:

tell me why it feels
like they don't know my name
cant put my finger on
the look thats on your face
ill wait until i know
its creeping through my skin again
i wish that i could go

its all that i can think about
its getting harder to breathe
im breaking my heart just to feel
theres nothing u ever could save
i cry and i watch it decay
the colors all fade into gray
i saw something farther away
u brought it all back with your face
ill wait til we're back in our place

i just miss u til i cant breathe
never needed u so badly
im so anxious can you catch me
ill keep acting like i cant see
i dont wanna cry but i did
and i didnt wanna lie but i did
ur the one thing i wont try to forget
i dont ever wanna leave u again
close my eyes i see your face inside my head

tell me why it feels
like everybody hates me
and i cant stop complaining
ill freeze and the winter can break me

finally home

@pyu
@frendishawty408

baby can u hold me close
lately ive felt so alone, i went comatose
and i withdraw when im without u, not a overdose
i feel safe when im around u, im just going slow
all my life i never wanted more
all my love, ill give until im sore
body aching, laying on the floor
told myself i wouldnt give up any more

but i could never quit it
people change i get it
but youre never different
id never forget it
first time that i felt you
i healed in an instant
now i hate the distance
living with this sickness
scared of being distant
scared of not forgetting
scared of being different
scared that im forgetting

no reason just to fight you
there's no reason just to lie, too
baby, what do you want from me?
in the end, it didn't matter
to you
guess that's how ts go
baby, why'd ya leave tho
issey miyake, my fit tho
she still wanna rock on my 2 chains
baby girl, why you two faced
kicking me, like um Liu Kang
treating me like i'm no one
baby,  yeah you on 1
please can you love me, for me
cause i'm on my knees :/
don't even matter, fr
baby ily, fr
ts feel like a drill
hand on my heart, n I kill
im in dis bih right w mental
she all on my mind, n my mental

affection ft frendi prod meta

performed & written by me @mental
produced by @lilac @winter

lyrics:

i keep on thinking im better off dead
wake up to sleep hanging on by a thread
i cant exist without you in my bed
said every word that i shouldnt have said
heartbreak and anger my only two friends
if i died, what would you do then?
i don't know how long i can pretend
it's not enough just to feel this regret

can't trust cause they lie every single time
fake love feels so cold like the wintertime
and i tried, it don't matter i can't get it right
heart in my hands offered to the sky

never been the best at letting go
tell me things i don't wanna know
take my heart made my heart froze
that's the way that my heart goes
you're the place that my heart needs
i'm just tryna say sorry
i'm just tryna say i want it
if you love me i got it

yeah i got it
hate myself being honest
if you love me then stop it
stop it
if you love me i'll make it right
i don't really wanna say goodbye
take my heart then i'll take my life
take my heart then i'll take my life

#Nightcore

Spotify

cant trust :( prod lilac & winter

performed, written, & produced by me @mental
featuring @blxty

can i tell you a lie?
or some sh*t that i can't hide anymore
i told her i was fine
i kept it all inside of my core
you send shivers down my spine
howd i make it out alive? i don't know
act like you don't see me cry
things can't be the way they were before

if i could turn back time
id tell another lie

"we never loved eachother"
so why'd you pull me closer?
i made it through the summer
remember last october?
told me we'd be forever
but that won't give me closure
i had to crop you out the picture
i know that it's over
so why can't you accept it?
i told you that i get it
i don't know your intentions
so bring me to my senses
you knew that once it ended
you couldn't have my friendship
its just part of acceptance
i thought that you would get it

i should've known love is expensive
i'm tired of all the f*cking screaming i get it i know
and i think i'll leave a message
man everything that she says it just hits hard at home
told you that i am sorry
I am not, girl my heart's just rot
so my head's just thoughts of you and i cant think
i cant breath i cant sleep

another lie feat blxty

performed, written, and produced by me @mental

i dont know what ima dream about 2nite
i dont rly wanna leave without a fight
and i rly cant believe that thats my life
every single time i breathe im boutta die
i cant ever even see the reason why
ur even in love with me, but thats alright
ill just hold onto belief until i die
and then i cry and say goodbye

know u wanna leave me
stay up cuz im bleeding
it dont matter what im feeling
but its nothing, im eating

Love me, hate me, wannakill me

I h8 me so badd wanna end it

im so mad @ me im so mad @ me

im mad @ me

with my friends @f3arme @tenkayyyyy @7ooox

boyfriend w feardorian & tenkay prod feardorian & prblm

produced by me, beat inspired by @vampiremutual
i love you @ch2rms
art by me

[im too numb]
i cant feel a thing
i cant feel a thing at all
can you save me from myself
i just go through these withdrawals
u cant see the way i tried to fall
im screaming out that i still wanna die
i wish i didnt know what this was like
im scared but im too scared to lie
im scared but im too scared to cry

im so numb
i feel so dumb
i wanna run
but i feel so torn
cant feel inside
i dont know
how to go
bring me home
bring me home
bring me home
bring me home

empty ft ch2rms

ily @twikipedia
first beat prod delta
second beat prod me

i told myself i'm fine i'm not
i thought that you would've forgot me
sometimes i think that i should rot
if i tried would you even stop me
i thought that you would feel some type of way
i can't tell if you even like me
i'm anxious i want it to go away
i'm paranoid nobody's got me
with you i feel safe
still wanna run away
you can't be replaced
it won't be the same

i used to wanna give up
i had nobody to trust
i lied still wanna give up
i can't feel nothing but lust
nobody gets how i love
i'm sick of falling in love
i'm sick of feeling this shit
sometimes i wanna exist
sometimes i wish i was dust
i hate that everyone lies
i don't know who to believe
wish i was a ghost
i try to say how i'm feeling
i try but nothing comes out i think i might choke
lost me inside of your soul
i should go choke, you're happy when i'm at my low
no one likes seeing that shit ill go and suffer in silence so nobody knows
sorry you'll never be sorry
i can't feel my body
i wish i could not breathe
am i dead prolly
i miss every time you called me
i know that it's not me

paranoid prod twikipedia & mental

@violetxx9 <3

i never thought it would end like this
i never thought it would end at all
ill try to come to terms with it again
i never thought we would cry like this
i never thought we would cry at all
ill try to come to terms with it again

i fucked my life up
wasted time and empty smiles
i know things cant be the same
but thats alright though
thats alright though
i fucked my life up
wasted time and empty smiles
i know i cant turn the time back
ill still try though
ill still try though

you said you loved me do you though?
burning heart in the freezing cold
lovesick, you're the antidote
homesick everywhere i go
without you i don't have a home
theres a hole in my soul
you don't call anymore
passed out on the floor
its the same thing everyday
heart hurts, heavy weight
cant feel, not anything
i need another chance

need another chance
fell into your eyes it was just a glance
you can keep my heart i don't want it back
i heard every word but didn't understand
i still try to come to terms with what you said
whats a soulmate but my other half?
whats a soulmate but the one i lack?
if i heard you calling id be running back

don't touch me there it hurts
don't touch me there it hurts

i miss u prod violet & mental

@pyu
@1luvpurp

you could give me one more kiss
i feel like a piece of shit
i wish i didn’t exist
i would touch your fingertips
hold them til my body slips
hold you til i wanna live
hold you till you’re gone again
i wish i was really fine
i wish i could go a day and night without missing your eyes
i wish i could show you that there’s still light on the other side
i wish i could fall into your lies and trust you every time

i wish you would leave me alone
never make me feel at home
i miss being something whole
i wish i could be a ghost
never missed me anyways, i try but i still feel so dull
i wish i could, i wish i could be a ghost
but i guess thats typical
i feel so invisible
i mistook a broken heart for you being invincible
we’re back at the part again where i’m bit by the winter cold
we’re back at the start again but this time my heart isn’t yours

until ur gone prod meta & luvpurp

produced by me

lyrics:
i've loved you since we met
feelings i never would've thought entering my head
i walk alone and pretend you're holding my hand
oh i'd drop the world for a chance to hold it again

i've missed you since you've gone
oh if its not with you, where do i belong?
i close my eyes and i try pretending that i'm strong
you said that i was brave, i don't want to prove you wrong

but i'm afraid of everything
and you're my everything, so i'm scared of you
(x3)

i've loved you since we met
feelings i never would've thought entering my head
i walk alone and pretend you're holding my hand
oh i'd drop the world for a chance to hold it again

cause i'm afraid of everything
cause i'm afraid of everything
cause i'm afraid of everything
cause i'm afraid of everything

brave/afraid

Official MV: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rCQdhOKSgGI

produced by me

lyrics:
i want to feel again
i need your touch
one day can we meet again?
i'll dream for us
it's okay you can breathe again
i'll be your lungs
i'll be your lungs
i'll be your lungs
i cried 'til my tears were gone
i hope you can't see me blush
i forgot how to sleep alone
your beauty would keep me up
i need you to breathe again
so be my lungs
so be my lungs
so be my lungs

don't want to feel it
keep on my bleeding
i could always tell that you'd be leaving
every lie you told me i believed it
don't make promises if you don't want to keep them

so what?

♫⋆｡♪

i'll be your lungs

@blxty
@15elias

[mental]
you broke my heart its bleeding out
i cry for help i scream and shout
i need ur love i need it now
u broke me all my walls torn down
rip me apart im shattered
make me think i never mattered
i cant deal with all this damage
burn me turn me into ashes

[blxty]
going back to my patterns
im falling in
if u told i mattered
would it b pretend
feel like dolly
tell her that she still miss me
she don't miss me she only miss blxty

lets see how far all these drugs will get me
2d only see the part where u leave
its crazy how everyone wanna be me now
covered up in blood feel like a hound

[mental]
they all wanna be me
i wish i was someone else
live my life on repeat
secrets i can never tell
everybody leaves me
i know that u will as well
i know u dont need me
moving onto someone else
look up at the stars
fall into ur arms im safe
broke into my heart
everything is falling into (place)

shattered feat blxty prod elias & mental

micro-edits & mixing by grandee

@angelus7k
@gnde
@blackwinterwells

monster feat angelus & grandee prod blackwinterwells

https://open.spotify.com/track/30qOE3LSUCmV2ImcHJzjFF?si=m8xQlUZvRem3OTc2BMHoew

@kuraiiii
@176s

[lyrics]
im stressed u help me calm down
still i cant let my guard down
my heart always gets knocked down
so i keep it in lockdown

u make me calm down (you make me believe in me)
im still in lockdown tho
cant let my guard down (you make me believe in myself)
cause u might knock me down

free me
take me away
love, u
cant say the same
im trapped
inside my brain
hate almost
every day

u make me feel a lil bit better
when im down and under the weather
i can come to u for attention
hope u know u hold me together

protect prod sense & kurai

@twikipedia

@prodelxnce
@kuraiiii
@vinsoignatius

mental

Pinned to spotlight

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