i almost called you just 
the other day 
but then i thought of things 
you might say 
you don't want me no more 
you try hard to ignore 
all the love we once knew 
and so i'm 
miles away from you 

i haven't seen you since 
i don't know when 
but i still hold to you 
as my best friend 
i sleep alone at night 
i try to make it right 
i does not matter what i do 
i'm still 
miles away from you 

i know love for me 
is in you 
but deep in me 
there lies despair 
i'd do anything 
to win you 
call my name 
and i am there 

if you could see through me 
you'd realize 
each time you go away 
something in me dies 
we could start to live 
if we could just forgive 
all the pain that
we've been through 
that keeps me 
miles away from you

runes

miles away

Ego Death (Ego - A-go - Go)

I Can't Afford To Pay For Petrol To Fill Up My Car

it's in my head, i'm told,
those laughing voices, calling from the cold.
they taunt me through the night,
but time again, they've proven to be right.
they tell me what to do,
if only they had told me about you. 

a paradox defined,
a love that's less than kind. 
mild words are hard to find,
you were something less than kind. 
something less than kind.

caught in your atmosphere 
a summer cloud that slowly disappears.
a shadow on my brain,
falling drops of stabbing acid rain. 
there's no escape i see
the past is old, and knows too much of me. 

a paradox defined,
a love that's less than kind.
mild words are hard to find,
you were something less than kind. 
something less than kind. 

it's just a game, at most,
you came on strong, but left a hollow ghost.
a haunted melody,
of what it was, and what will never be.
and all these memories,
are sunday music, set in minor keys.

a paradox defined,
a love that's less than kind.
mild words are hard to find,
you were something less than kind. 
something less than kind.

it's in my head, I think,
those laughing voices call me to the brink;
a roller coaster ride,
the highs are good, but low is where I thrive.
it's not a mystery,
the best of you, was just the worst of me. 

a paradox defined,
a love that's less than kind.
nice words are hard to find,
you were something less than kind. 
if it helps to ease your mind,
you were something less than kind.

Runes

Less Than Kind

There’s a reason you’re alone

I have drifted 
through endless time
Always searching for you
I have sifted 
through pointless rhyme
Nothing else I could do

I have stared blindly 
at the sun
Hoping one day to see
No one else binds me, 
no not one
Nothing else here for me

Only you

I have waited
through countless years
Always wanting for you
Never sated, 
the lingered fears
Hide the truth from my view

I have screamed 
at the clouded sky
Hoping someone would hear
Never dreamed 
that the answered why
Would make the reason so clear

Only you

I have drifted 
through endless time
Always searching for you
I have sifted 
through pointless rhyme
Nothing else I could do

I have stared blindly 
at the sun
Hoping one day to see
No one else binds me, 
no not one
Nothing else here for me

Only you

Only You

in the country for the winter, the ice sleeps on the pond 
the geese are slowly swaying, as the cold does drive them on 
i am listening for someone, underneath these skies of gray 
but my hopes are lost intentions and for whom i cannot say 

in the country for the winter, crushing frost before the dawn 
'neath feet on indecision on the trail down to the pond 
no frogs or crickets singing, only silence fills my ear 
deafened by the very thought of the words i long to hear 

in the country for the winter. staring madly at the stars 
away from life's illusions synthesized by lights and cars 
i cannot go on dreaming, thinking i am fine alone 
i can only hope the winter will freeze my heart to stone 

in the country for the winter, the ice sleeps on the pond 
the geese are slowly swaying as the cold does drive them on 
i am listening for someone, underneath these skies of gray 
but my hopes are lost intentions and for whom i cannot say

I Cannot Say

in my car, but I'm not here
the radio flows by my ear
and all the trash and road debris
look like my dead pets to me
the overpass feels so inviting 
off the edge, and I'm still driving 

the sweetest thing I can recall
of life when I was very small 
the smells that laid my head to rest 
the perfume of my mother's breast
the overpass is so inviting 
mother's gone but I'm still driving 

afloat upon an endless sea
of my mistakes and tragedies 
the dotted lines direct the pain
a coda for a lost refrain 
the overpass sounds so inviting 
off the edge, and I'm still driving 

in my car, but I'm not here
the lights and signs, they disappear 
the pavement drones a simple song
we all ignore yet sing along
the overpass looks so inviting 
it makes no sense, but I'm still driving 

Still Driving

*** Recorded live 1995-07-04, The Ocean Club, Longview TX ***

i take myself between the trees 
to find the paths out to the seas 
i stumble through the thorn and briar 
that cut my face like razor wire 
but I will not cry out a sound 
for the river will not let me down 

i gather stones along this route 
to ballast me in case of doubt 
i stuff my pockets with despair 
and pray with me the weight will share
for nothing left to me is bound
and the river will not let me down 

i bathe in tide pools of mistrust
till hot sun sends these doors to dust 
i follow streams that wind through pain
searching for the source in vain
leading me back underground 
where the river will not let me down 

i hear the currents taking air
and know that soon i will be there
this leap of faith required by all
who live beneath the waterfall
for i am square, the world is round 
but the river will not let me down 

the is no life not known to me
contingencies that few can see 
i lay this course against the wind 
to the next bardo, or just to an end 
one truth is deep enough to drown 
the river will not let me down

never let me down
take me from the ground
keep me from the sound
never let me down

never let me down

it seems there’s no way 
nothing to say 
or do 
these feelings you hide 
cannot be denied 
on cue 
for something has changed 
a color estranged 
in hue 
my heart whispers doubt 
until i cry out 
to you 

i can feel you falling away  
falling away from me 
songs and games that
we used to play
taunt me from memory
falling away 
falling away 
from me

i needed more time
some warning or sign
to know
we’ve drifted apart
it’s making my heart
feel low
i’m so proud to see
what you’ve grown to be
and so
i’ll dream of our time
when your love and mine
will flow

i can feel you falling away 
falling away from me 
songs and games that
we used to play
taunt me from memory
falling away 
falling away 
from me

falling away

As a kid, I would spend hours at my grandparents' piano, learning key signatures and chords from old Reader's Digest music books. I grew up listening to my mom's Beatles records, with Rubber Soul and Revolver having a profound impact on my musical taste and style. I also draw a lot of inspiration from bands like Nirvana, Soundgarden, and Radiohead. I try to keep my music simple, and I realize that it definitely won't appeal to most people, but if I can bring a few minutes of enjoyment to someone out there, that's enough for me.

Only You

Mark Page

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