Written by Mesonjixx
Arranged by Kekeli Dawes + Myles Jasnowski

Nate Asad - keys 
Jacob Sorensen - bass
Myles Jasnowski - guitar
Kekeli Dawes - drums 

Thank you to sound engineers: Jon Ochsner, Jon Pitts and Ian Aeillo

Hard Kill | Live At Culxr House

An introspective audio composition shaped by an interview with artist Paul Stephen Benjamin on his recent show “Black of Night” by Mary Lawson 

Published by Sixty Inches from Center | https://sixtyinchesfromcenter.org/black-is-the-color/ 

This essay was produced and co-published in collaboration with Amplify Arts. Amplify incubates liberatory ideas through funding, space, advocacy, and opportunities for collective learning, collaboration, and community building. Through interdisciplinary programming and shared decision-making, they support the needs of Omaha-area artists, organizers, and cultural workers. 

Cover photo is a photo from Paul Stephen Benjamin's exhibition at Bemis Center, Black of Night - 2024 . Taken by Mary on her iphone 11. 

Audio description:
The audio consists of a voiceover of artist Paul Stephen Benjamin’s interview responses (transcribed below), plus an introspective experimental composition that intermingles with the words of the interview. The composition consists of layered background sounds that consists of: keyboard played by Mary Elizabeth Jo Dixen Pelenaise Kapi’olani Lawson, her vocals (chanting, reading, humming), sounds inside a kitchen, and the voice of Paul Stephen Benjamin singing “Black Is the Color”.

Black Is the Color

Ditty Prayer 

Written/Vocals by: Mary Lawson
Produced by: Kekeli Dawes 

Vocals Recorded at Second Story (Omaha, Ne) November 2024 
Track Mixed by: Jacob Adams 

Cover Art: by Mary Lawson
Paper Materials / Glue

LYRICS: 
Many nights I prayed that you would stay here by my side. 

Don't you go too far away, 
Don't you go too far. 

I feel closer to you now. 

You're everything beautiful. 

You're everything. 
Your everything.

Ditty Prayer

Written/Vocals by: Mary Lawson
Produced by: Mary Lawson 

Vocals Recorded at house sitting gig - Omaha, Ne March 2025
Track mixed by: Mary Lawson 

Cover Art: by Mary Lawson
Paper Materials / Glue
*****
Kind of Love  
10 in the morning 
in the second week of February 
and it feels like an ounce of truth 
awake in my system. 

Black shades on the coffee table 
lined white paper from a notebook 
they still make it like they used to.

Sticky note  
neon green 
Names of those who hold keys.
green mug, 
might’ve been blue. 
at the counter 
– chosen for you 

Sending photos of my parents 
When they were young, without children 
and in a softer kind of love
or so it seems. 

You are looking 


You are working a long shift today 
At a job you’d rather quit 

I remind you of it’s impermanence 
I remind you that you’ll be where you want to be 
I remind you that you are 

Here
I’m hoping that this will sustain you 
Your reminders sustain me 

This is the kind of love that Nikki Giovanni writes food about 

Kind of Love 

This is the kind of love that’s so good you gotta tell somebody

Kind of Love

Kind of Love

Just Another

Written/Vocals by: Mary Lawson
Produced by: Oddisee 

Vocals Recorded in Oddisee’s Studio  - August 2018
Track mixed by: Oddisee + Mary
***
This collaboration is a dream come true. I had the honor of opening for Oddisee & Good Company with my band when they toured and traveled through Omaha and Lincoln, Nebraska in 2016 and 2017. We were their local support. I stayed in touch with Oddisee and was a fan before I shared the stage with him. He was kind and open to working and collaborating with me. 

Happy to have a couple of the songs I wrote in studio with him from that session – on the mixtape project I’m working on this year. 

Here is one of them! 
***
Cover Art: by Mary Lawson
Paper Materials / Glue
***
As lovely as I am. 
Got my weaknesses too. 
I’m a fiend for romance. 
Played the fool.
You know there’s nothin special bout me, 
other than my Everything. 
I’m so all or nothing. 
Whoa… 

Believe me I see 
I’m not alone. 
Sometimes I feel,
I’m on my own. 
And I swim the sea, 
I’m in my zone. 
Know this, know me, know I. 

I know, I’m not like the others. 
I hope. 
But maybe I’m just another. 

Caring and kind 
often in mindfulness 
Think - 
Flow 
Plant, Water Grow. 
Just takes a seed sown. 
Creative out of necessity, 
stored wisdom to prepare. 
That keeps me well Aware.
May hope guide me there. 

Believe me I see 
I’m not alone. 
Sometimes I feel,
I’m on my own. 
And I swim the sea, 
I’m in my zone. 
Know this, know me, know I. 

I know, I’m not like the others. 
I hope. 
But maybe I’m just another.

Just Another

Last week while baking in the kitchen at the cafe where I'm currently working, this melody came to me. It was towards the end of my shift there, the room was quite and I recorded this in my phone. 

No filters, edits or additions. A raw recording of me in a moment of melody. Ditty. A-capella voice. 

I'm releasing it today, on my birthday. // Happy birthday darling. I love you, eternal. No need to be afraid, I got you.


LYRICS: 

Good mawnin, 
How I love you. 
And when the day comes, 
My love will be the same. 
And when evening comes,
Your heart is open 
Your heart is pure 
I’ll love you always… 
the cure 

[No, I don’t know…wait let’s see]

Good mawnin, 
How I love you. 
And when the day comes, 
My love will be the same. 
And when evening comes,
Your heart is open 
A little broken 
Open. 
I’ll love you always, 
My friend.

My Friend

This collaboration is a dream come true. I had the honor of opening for @oddisee & Good Company with my band when they toured and traveled through Omaha and Lincoln, Nebraska in 2016 and 2017. We were their local support. I stayed in touch with Oddisee and was a fan before I shared the stage with him. He was kind and open to working and collaborating with me.

Happy to have a couple of the songs I wrote in studio with him from that session – on the mixtape project I’m working on this year.

Here is one of them!
********
You wake up and think of God 
Then brush your teeth, 
then go to work 
You do this thing love on repeat. 
I've seen others fail while chasing dreams
but they seem happy when we meet. 
I wish the same good when I speak. 

YES LOVE! 

If you want to 
I can take you for a ride
We can go dancing in the night 
Stay out like 2 or 3 AM. 

I am writing this reminder 
So you can let go of standards
That you probly learned round 
2 or 3 

LET GO! 
 
VIBRATE 
HIGHER 
AND HIGHER 
VIBRATE 
HIGHER 
AND HIGHER 

LET GO!

VIBRATE 
HIGHER 
AND HIGHER 
VIBRATE 
HIGHER AND HIGHER 

LET GO!

Hi *giggles* *sighs*, 
Yes.
Today is Thursday, July 17th 
And I’m sitting in the studio 
That I recorded this song in 
7 years ago now 
Right? 
*counts* 
Okay, 7 years ago. 
And 
*giggles*
I’m a little high
*giggles*
And I am…
BEAMING 
I feel I have these days,
Like, these beaming days 
Where my energy feels like it is tuned up and 
PRESENT 
And these days are so worth living for.
It doesn’t happen everyday. 
I will say that it is this, 
Ever-thread from day to day 
Lately. 
And that is a blessing. It feels good. 
*exhales*
And perhaps it is the life in me, 
The life source.
*clicks teeth*
I’m feeling sensitive 
– lately. 
*giggles nervously*
Most of my life. 
Sensitive girl. 
Emotional. 
Yeah,
Mhmm Mhmm
This is my season.
It’s Cancer season., 
I was born this monnnnth –
“Give it up!”
*Makes sound of crowd screaming for me by exhaling*
*giggles*
Yes, cancer through and through…
I feel, 
“v e r y m u c h.”
There’s a poem by Lucille Clifton, called, ‘Water Sign Woman’. 
And when I read it, 
I think it was in 2022,
for the first time 
in 2022.
And I was like 
“Whhhhattt?” 
I think 
I think had,
I think I have had 
–close experiences to that 
like mirror moment when you’re experiencing art that– 
You’re like: 
“Oh my god, how did she know?!” 
*giggles* 
And that’s what I felt when I read that poem for the first time 
and I read it over and over again, 
–and I still return to it and read it. 
*exhales*
Its, 
I see much of myself in it and 
…blessings man. 
It’s such a blessing to have those moments, 
and to have art. 
Any medium, 
Any discipline,
Any practice, 
–that people are creating in a vision that they have for themselves and that they’re imagining for their lives and their well being is 
a miracle. 
It really is *giggling*
Oh my god. 
*clicks teeth*
And I mean it becomes something else when it is truly aligned with love and liberation, 
for real. 
Liberation of self 
And of all. 

Lets get it *trails off*
*giggles* 
Lets do this 
I love you. 
I’m here to remind you that you are loved. 
And, 
Keep 
Your 
*giggles*
Keep Your
You. 
Yeah. 
*mmm* 
Bye. 


Your You; Let Go

Three questions from Mary ejdpkl Lawson to Akito Tsuda about his exhibition Pilsen Days and who he is now after this significant era in his career as a photographer (and) a mere observer. The audio is an introspective experimental composition that includes keyboard, vocals, the sounds of Lake Michigan, and a voiceover of Akito Tsuda’s responses about Pilsen Days.

Published by Sixty Inches from Center | https://sixtyinchesfromcenter.org/thank-you-for-this-question/

Cover photo from Akito Tsuda exhibition, 'Pilsen Days' at Chicago Public Library - 2024. Taken by Mary on her iphone 11. 

Thank you for this question

"Without You" 

Written by Mesonjixx 
Myles Jasnowski - Guitar 
Kekeli Dawes - Drums 
Josh Bargar - Bass 

Produced by: James Fleege 
Engineered by: James Fleege at Silver Street 
Mastered by: Doug Van Sloun at Focus Mastering

Without You

Written by Mesonjixx 
Arranged by Mesonjixx, Myles Jasnowski 


Myles Jasnowski - Guitar 
Josh Bargar  - Bass
Kekeli Dawes - Drums 

All Rights Reserved: Mesonjixx
Recorded at: Make Believe Studios (Omaha, Nebraska) 
Engineered by: Connor, Jeremy, Rick

In The Middle - EP

Motion

NPR TINY DESK SUBMISSION VIDEO: https://youtu.be/zOQdRNLBNaw
Written by Mesonjixx 
Arranged by Mesonjixx, Nate Asad, John Evans 

Nate Asad - Keys 
James Fleege - Bass
John Evans - Drums 
Myles Jasnowski - Guitar 


Recorded and mixed by James Fleege at Silver Street.

"August Manchester" LIVE for NPR Tiny Desk Contest

We were in rehearsal and they started jamming. 

Nate Asad - Keys 
Myles Jasnowski - Guitar
John Evans - Drums 
James Fleege - Bass 
 
Recorded by James Fleege @ Silver Street

Rehearsal - Live @ Silver Street (Ashland, Ne)

Written by Mesonjixx 
Arranged by Mesonjixx, Nate Asad, John Evans 

Lyrics: 

It was the dawn
when I bit to the apple, 
juice ran down my thumb
and wrapped around my wrist 

in that moment, 
no belief
in that moment, 
love 
oh, 
love. 
oh, 

this musn't be the consequence 
of the fruit, 
his curious 
to my undying 

that night my eyes were big 
his weighed the same 
we feverish 
and hollow, 
cold at the core 

in that moment, 
no belief
in that moment, 
love, 
OH 
love. 
OH 

ALL I REALLY WANT 
IS YOUR LOVE 
ALL I REALLY WANT 
IS YOUR TOUCH 
IF I, 
IF I, 
Imagine. 
IF I, 
IF I, 
Imagine. 

Nate Asad - Keys 
Myles Jasnowski - Guitar + Vocals
John Evans - Drums 
James Fleege - Bass 
 
Thank you Mark Wahlberg + Bodegas + Lincoln

"Pele" Live @ Bodegas (Lincoln, Ne)

Co-written: Myles Jasnowski + Mesonjixx 
Arranged by Myles Jasnowski 

Nate Asad - Keys 
Myles Jasnowski - Guitar + Vocals
John Evans - Drums 
James Fleege - Bass 
 
Thank you Mark Wahlberg + Bodegas + Lincoln

"On Repeat" Live @ Bodegas (Lincoln, Ne)

Arranged by Kekeli Dawes Myles Jasnowski Josh Bargar 
Song by Mary 
Art by ZorZorZor

Kekeli Dawes - Drums 
Myles Jasnowski - Guitar/Vocals
Mitch Towne - Keys 
Josh Bargar - Bass 

Recorded at Make Believe Studios (Omaha, Nebraska) in July 2016 
Mixed and Mastered by Rick Carson

Slanky

he was a coward 
waiting all alone 
on a stole 
at the end of the bar 
i wandered over 
to his shoulder 
whispered in 
hey you. 

when the red hat 
entered the train 
i wondered 
when the red hat 
entered the train 
i wondered 

it was a thursday morning 
around spring 
gotten the news 
that you 
had fled your scene 
and after work that day 
i traveled up the street 
somethin told me you had gone 
somethin toled me you had gone 


when the red hat 
entered the train 
i wondered 
when the red hat 
entered the train 
i wondered

red hat - demo

i can't find no one else 
but you 

we walked the streets of amsterdam
my heart
i wondered if you thought of her 
at all 
i can't go on like this no more 
my heart 
i'm worthy of such happpiness 
my heart

i can't find no one else 
but you

mesonjixx

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