Eight years old and running through the snow
He heard the call and followed
Mom slams the back door asking
"Where have you gone this time, my love?
Once was more than enough"

Follow all ways out

Some say angels took him
Some say Satan's on the loose
A muse has two halves
One is always with you
One is always on its way out
To find someone else

Follow all ways out

Once I was a little boy
Had my little toys
And, oh, the stories I could make
Now it takes me so much time
To write a single line
Where, oh, where have all the stories gone?

The Call

His heart was cold and black as Christmas dinner in the oven burnt
They say he learned to cook from arsonists
And anyone he'd come home with
Turned to coal the second they locked lips
He'd light the fire with nitroglycerin
The smoke would billow for the world to see

Some three years back, a pack of U.S. Marshals came to snuff him out
They knew the route he took to Reykjavik
Tracked him by the cigs he'd flick
And on December 3, 2006
Those U.S. Marshals thought they had him licked
Until the appearance of his brother Kris

Who knew Santa's brother was a crook?
Wanted 'round the Earth and in the books
For murder in the first degree in nearly every country on the map
For Santa's elves had always taken the rap

And only 10 were left when NATO stepped in to end all the crime
The time had come to light the Northern skies aurora borealis-style
With nukes a-blazing, climate change finalized
The ice cap fell to save hundreds of lives
From an evil Claus the Cannibal

Who knew Santa's brother was a crook?
Wanted 'round the Earth and in the books
For murder in the first degree in nearly every country on the map
For Santa's elves had always taken the rap

Black as Christmas Dinner

One more song, then I will say goodbye
I'd be lying if I said I won't cry
All these lights, they'll all go to waste
Come New Year's Day

Remember me when I leave
Our hopes and dreams carry through
The times were tough, you've had enough of me
But I'll hold on to you

Old Acquaintance Forgotten

All of my friends are married
So I stay at home and organize my Christmas cards
Every year in order of who is most annoying
Then I delete their phone numbers

It's the only way to get by in life
Swatting away those who love their wives

Only the weak need a partner
The world needs a martyr
So I kill my desire to save my future 
In writing the greatest book you'll ever read
About a lonely man who never settled down
It's a novel, I swear

I know the name of Fraiser's dog: Moose
I know the words to every Bright Eyes song
I met him once in a bar
I've read a bit of "Infinite Jest"
What'd you all expect
Please, even a jerk like me can't get through that

It's the only way to get by in life
Whiling away all my time online

Reading reviews, leaving comments
On grad students' sonnets
I make jokes under my breath at work

Bagging the food for all of my friends
And all their snot-nosed kids
What a life they live
I'm glad I skipped college
So I could make fun of them

A Troll's Tale

What Kind Of Music

A Hair Of Hope

How Many Times

Prophets

Frasier's Dog

On Our Way Out

From The Seychelles

Clerics

My Song And Dance

Dear, I fear we're facing a problem
You love me no longer, I know
And maybe there is nothing
That I can do to make you do
Mama tells me I shouldn't bother
That I ought to stick another man
A man who surely deserves me
But I think you do

So I cry, and I pray, and I beg

Love me love me
Say that you love me
Fool me fool me
Go on and fool me
Love me love me
Pretend that you love me
Lead me lead me
Just say that you need me

So I cry, and I beg for you to
Love me love me
Say that you love me
Lead me lead me
Just say that you need me
I can't care about anything but you

Lately I have desperately pondered,
Spent my nights awake and I wonder
What I could have done in another way
To make you stay
Reason will not lead to solution
I will end up lost in confusion
I don't care if you really care
As long as you don't go

So I cry, I pray and I beg

Love me love me
Say that you love me
Fool me fool me
Go on and fool me
Love me love me
Pretend that you love me
Lead me lead me
Just say that you need me

So I cry, and I beg for you to
Love me love me
Say that you love me
Lead me lead me
Say that you need me
I can't care about anything but you

Lovefool (The Cardigans cover)

photo by John Hamilton Farr: http://j.mp/HOL5P5.

It’s fading, so I pull off the highway
And turn back toward town
I’m swaying, and you’re still mine
Long as the stars seem to shine

Ain’t it funny how she used to laugh
She’d throw her head back like she stepped on the gas
I’d try to catch her, but she never did like to drive

It’s raining like hell, and I ain’t seen no one
In seventeen miles
I’m saving my tears for ten more
When I pass the lights on their porch

I’ll be dancing my way through the last
Bottle of courage to kid myself
You said it first: I never did like to lie

But sometimes I’ll stop on that same highway
To look to the south
Where I woke to see you smile
Red and blue eyes so wild

And when he said, “She’ll make it, I bet”
I knew he said it to pay me back
‘Cause that’s how it works
And we’ll keep on drowning ourselves

Michael Todd

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