lonely

All sounds vocals Drums guitars and other stuff produced by the fudge nutz

Look At The State Of You featuring Mark Heenan

"Lonely Age"

Drifting through life, full of vacant replies
Wandering lost, like a motherless child
Not a word to say, in this lonely age
Wanna look away, go back to sleep
Accept defeat, flee in retreat, disguised

Once I could say, I was willing to try
Seeking the source, for a meaningful life
Now I pretend, just to claim I belong
Safely in step, with the vacuous throngs

Heaven knows I’d never make it
So pathetic that I ever tried to fake it
Graduate of voluntary mind-enslavement
Flew the coop and joined the troops,
A simple sleuth
Reporting from the lonely age now

Not a word to say, in this lonely age
Try to look away and, go back to sleep
Admit defeat, flee in retreat, disguised

Caught in a lie, that I’d gladly concede
Choosing a side, isn’t easy for me

Cause heaven knows I’d never make it
So pathetic that I ever tried to fake it
Graduate of voluntary mind-enslavement
Threw the coup, negotiated truth’s abatement

(Patrick Bateman)

And heaven knows we’d never make it
So pathetic that we ever tried to fake it
Graduates of voluntary mind-enslavement
Flew the coop, and joined the troops
Still put to use, consulting for the lonely age now

Written by Christian Carpenter and Derek Barber
Recorded by Robert Shelton at Tiny Telephone in Oakland, CA
Mixed by Jake Aron
Mastered by Bijan Sharifi 

Christian Carpenter: Vocals, Electric Bass, OBX, Dx7, Drum Machine Programming, Eventide H910 live effects processing
Anthony Ferraro: ARP 2600, Hammond B3 Organ, Studiologic Sledge 
Derek Barber: Slide Electric Guitar
Mark Clifford: Vibraphones
Andrew Maguire: Bongos, Shaker
Geneva Harrison: Drums

Nihilist funk indie groover with insightful, precise lyrics, hooky choruses, and crafty word-play.

Lonely Age

When You Die

"Laniakea" traces the vast gravitational highway that binds our local universe — not as something distant, but as a living presence. It's a meditation on the cosmic web that holds galaxies in its flow, where dark matter moves unseen and ancient forces shape eternity. A song for those who feel the pull of the great unknown, and dare to follow it.

Threads of light

Laniakea

Indie Pop, Dreampop, Hypnagogic Pop, Neo-Psychedelica, Jangle Pop, Shoegaze, Bedroom Pop, Indie Rock, Indie, Alternative

The Dress Rehearsal

the dress rehearsal

In the cosmos

Indie Pop, Dreampop, Hypnagogic Pop, Neo-Psychedelica, Indie Rock, Alternative

the photo detective (tonight i feel fine)

Can’t swim
Never could
You said “breathe”
Like I ever would

Mouthful of black
No room for light
I don’t float
I don’t fight

I scream
But it sounds like air
The kind you choke on
When no one’s there

The water loves me
More than you did

It wraps me soft
And pulls me under
Quiet
Quiet
Quiet

mouthful of black

“I’m Tired” was born from a moment of raw honesty—written late at night last September, during one of those soul-deep seasons when life just feels like too much.

It’s not the tiredness that sleep fixes. It’s the exhaustion that comes from years of fighting, surviving, and hoping against the odds—a tiredness that lives in the spirit, in the quiet spaces behind closed doors.

As Mental Health Awareness Month ends, and as another birthday passes, I wanted to give voice to what so many feel but rarely say out loud: the loneliness of carrying pain in silence, the invisible battle behind the brave face, and the ache of wondering if we’re “too broken” to be loved or healed.

It’s about naming the struggle, without shame or apology, and letting the truth just be—because sometimes, survival is the victory.

This song is a confession, a sigh, a prayer to anyone who’s ever felt spent but still managed to show up for one more day.

It’s a reminder that you’re not alone, and that every breath—no matter how weary—is enough.

And for me, it’s a way of honoring my own journey, one circle ’round the sun at a time.

If you hear yourself in these words, this song is for you.

I'm Tired

Doubt Enough

Taken 60 years but I’ve finally started writing regularly. My ten playlists were written and recorded over the past five years. The recordings were all put together using GarageBand.

Doubt Enough

Mick Kavanagh

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