From 111 Songs, this is Eddie Helmkay's Custom Song. 

Some info from Nixon about the meaning of this song: 

In August 2014 my doctor told me that I had to have a “quick section”, which is the name for what happens when a surgeon opens up a man’s insides to have a good look at his nuts.  My doctor knew something was wrong (given the size of the lump on my right testicle, I didn’t really need a doctor to tell me there was a problem), and he admitted there was a pretty good chance I had cancer – only, he couldn’t say for sure.  There was also no way of knowing if it had spread to other parts of my body, just that they had to open me up and take a look, and MAYBE remove my right testicle, depending on my diagnosis.    
 
I think I’m a pretty optimistic person.  I can handle bad news.  I can find a silver lining in just about anything.  But one thing I am apparently unable to handle is the level of uncertainty that I experienced in the month leading up to my surgery.  (Because how do you find a silver lining if you can’t even picture the cloud?)  I couldn’t create a picture in my mind of what my life was going to be like after surgery, and it lead to insomnia, anxiety, and fear.  Was everything going to be fine?  Or was I going to have to drop everything and start chemo/radiation therapy to fight the cancer that I potentially had, and maybe go sterile in the process?  (Side note: I had several vials of sperm frozen ahead of time in case this was what happened.  Fun times.) 
 
I became extremely tired from sleepless nights spent worrying.  The feeling that I was barreling towards an unknown fate was psychological torture.  The day of my surgery became a day that I was both terrified of and wanted so badly to arrive to bring an end to the uncertainty. 
 
As it turns out, I did have testicular cancer and I did lose my right testicle.  In its place is a brand new prosthetic ball that is both bigger and harder than the old one.  I quite like it.  But even better than the new nut is the fact that the cancer seems not to have spread to any other part of my body.  For that I am immensely grateful to the doctors and the surgeons for diagnosing me and treating me.  I am SO lucky to live in a country in which someone who would not otherwise be able to afford health care was treated so thoroughly.  (Fun fact:  In matters like this, the urologist who diagnoses you is also the surgeon who operates on you). 
 
Today is world cancer day.  Here is a song that came from my experience with the disease.  Along with my wife, who remained resolute and determined through it all, writing this helped me a lot.  I say this all with the hope that anyone out there dealing with this disease has the kind of support they need.

-Nixon 

Hollerado - 12:01

Ghost Town

Floating in Ur Mind

My Two Loves

FREE DL

Tsukuyomi - Midnight Sword (FreeDL)

Reflecting In The Vault

Wouldn't You Like To

I recently had the pleasure of DJing at a house party for a friend's birthday party. It was the 1-2am set time, last of the night. There was a Rane One MKII (that thing is sick), so myself and others played sets for the first time on said controller. There are a few moments in here where I leave an effect on, or a high pass doesn't work because you have to toggle it on (which I am not used to). I think I did a good job of improvising around mistakes when they happen, and I had a lot of fun putting this set together. My goal here was to showcase a really broad spectrum of the darker, techy side of drum and bass.

Just as well, I played my own song in the middle that I've been working on for the last 2 weeks. It somehow has turned out quite playable, despite not a tonne of effort on the mastering end of things there. I think it's just easier to master less busy arrangements without it coming out super crispy. It's an industrial hardcore / crossbreed track with big buss-distorted kick/bass stuff in it. I think it's quite fun, and fits into the set well.

Shout out to the hosts, the other DJs, all my friends who were there, and birthdays (and those who have them).

Till next time <3

Others who played that night:
BeePM
little:fiery:one [https://soundcloud.com/littlefieryone]
fond. [https://soundcloud.com/fawnatron]
flourishing [https://soundcloud.com/flourishingbeats]

Song - Artist [Label]
----
Ever Closer - MVRK [MVRK]
Ransom - Offish [Offish Productions]
Discordia - Exept [Delta9 Recordings]
Kotaro (Original Mix) - Jon Casey, IMANU [Sable Valley Records]
Long Gone (Audio Remix) - Noisia, Evol Intent [Vision Recordings]
World In Crimson (Offish Remix) - Forgiven Soul & Offish [Offish Productions]
Wrong Number (Original Mix) - John Rolodex [Machinist Music]
Still Drowning (Original Mix) - Phase, Drs, Grey Code [Dispatch Dubplate]
Mindkiller (Offish VIP) - Forgiven Soul [Offish Productions]
Passive Agressive (skantia Remix) - Was A Be [Guidance]
Out For Blood (Original Mix) - QZB [Critical Music]
Don't Trust Me - Exept [Delta9 Recordings]
Hedonic Reversal - _wirehead [Machine Interface Recordings]
Mood (Original Mix) - Noise Parfumerie [In The Lab Recordings]
Regulated (Original Mix) - D-Struct [Onset Audio]
The Fruit Bowl (Original Mix) - Dom & Roland [C4C Recordings]
BITTERFELD - Phace, Tom Finster [Neosignal]
Vantage Point (Original Mix) - Rawtekk [Medschool]
Temperament 23 (Original Mix) - Matrix [Metro Recordings]
Medicine Device (Original Mix) - Forum [PROGRAM]
Dominion (Original Mix) - Aptom [Paperfunk Recordings]
Rarebit - Limewax [PRSPCT Recordings]
Disorder (Original Mix) - Krytika [Future Sickness Records]
Enemy of the State (Original Mix) - Biostacis [Tech Itch Recordings]
Merciful (Original Mix) - Harmony [Deep Jungle Records]
Tōuarangi (Original Mix) - Paige Julia [1985 Music]
Cold Fusion (Gred Lvov Re-Assemble) - Forgiven Soul & The Faraday [Offish Productions]
Astral Plane (Original Mix) - Bob White [Vandal Records]
It's Time (Original Mix) - DJ Hidden [PRSPCT Recordings]

_wirehead::s_mix_recordings[2]="2025-10-19_BirthdayMix"

Imperfect (prod. peril)

Forever (prod. YOANI)

Pop (Burst Your Bubble)

Our society’s cooked. We’re just temporary ants.
I’m hopping genres and pouring my heart, soul, and chaos into a musical journal—hold on tight. Hit the follow button to hear new songs/journal entries. Find a piece of me you enjoy.
I am a human who values their privacy... 
Follow along, and maybe one day you’ll understand me.
AI assisted music, it can’t replace the connection between us.
Emotions are fleeting—enjoy them while we still can.
Monetizing my depression
Email - midnightalchemist7@proton.me

Pop (Burst Your Bubble)

Midnight Alchemist

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