i'm going crazy
trying to figure out how i can view my life 
through someone else's eyes
don't hold it against me
just because i don't see things the way you do
i can't explain what i'm going through

where do i begin to tell you how
the differences between us now
only make it difficult to breathe 
you took my strength away from me
make believe, that the world is fine
and there's nothing wrong with me
i'll be the first to let you know
it won't be so hard to let you go

it's so amazing
how the love you have for me remains unknown
why can't you just pick up the phone?
where's my direction?
am i going down the road that leads me home?
cause i'm feeling so all alone


Where Do I Begin

Intro

Angel In Disguise

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iaUmGtO--Og

everything i am is everything you are
i look into your eyes and see a glimpse of paradise
you take my breath away, i wish that you could stay
and never have to leave though i know you've got to go

i wish i could hold you forever and never let you go
i wish that i could be there when you need someone to hold
i know i don't deserve you, deserve somebody like you
i wish that i could tell you that you turn my gray skies blue

it's too good to be true, the very thought of you
turns my gray skies blue whenever i am down
and everytime you smile i want to go that extra mile
to be with you eternally cause that is where i want to be

maybe we aren't meant to be through all the years i've seen
that there is no one as beautiful as beautiful as you
i've got to let you go, but this you had to know
that there is no one as beautiful as beautiful as you

i wish i could've been there when you had no one to hold

Bleu

Shut Your Mouth

sifting through the ashes of a burned down home
i feel like giving up i've had enough
i don't need your sympathy to cheer me up
i don't need you to be wasting my time

it's not so complicated
but it can really be frustrating

it's hard to say goodbye
to what you haven't left behind
you try try try to get by
so take with you everything you know is true
you'll find out what you gotta do

i've never looked anyone in the eye
the awkward space between us grew in time
even though i know now i don't know it all
i still have problems admitting that i was wrong

bitterness flows through my head
wishing everyone was dead

it's been so long now 
the time ran by the years went by so fast
i can't believe that i let myself fall apart like that
i don't know now how to get my life back on the right track
i need some assistance in getting back what i used to have

there's nothing left to prove
what am i to do

It's Time to Move On

Stand Your Ground (2001)

perpetual inevity

I do not own the rights to this song in any way. I just wanted to pay homage to my favorite band growing up.

today (smashing pumpkins cover)

this song is about a girl that doesn't exist that stole the heart that you never had and ran away with dreams that were never yours.

enjoy the ride

a new song in the works. no lyrics yet. I just made them up to get the melody down.

i never thought that it would be like this

i will call you back (instrumental)

i put the shackles on to deny myself
for the life I live for somebody else
I held the hand of anger for many years
so I can balance out these indebted tears with fear

I jeopardize my progress by folding my hand
I keep on running from possibilities 
my mind's an open field that's been rigged with mines
there is no map to guide me to the other side cuz fear

I keep mind surrounded and fortified 
cuz my heart's been broken so many times
I've come to realize that your dreams
are just a distraction from the life you live in fear

subtle fear

i put my heart to the flame
burning off all the excess layers
of fictitious intent
i try to fall asleep
but these lingering jealous laments
lay with me in the bed

hold me closer, don't let me go
i am so afflicted by your love
now the lines are blurring
everything looks the same
i'm so reckless with a restless heart and mind

realizations ignored
that everyday is a regret cast by 
still we feed off our lies
these desperate idle threats
pinning you in the vengeful trenches
keeping you in the bed

guilt will bring you home
shower you with love
a vicious circle with no circumference 
you'll get used to it


kicking a dead horse

I'll catch you (get up kids cover)

I've taken my chances and runaway confused
I always get arrested and sent back home subdued 

now I've asked myself is this the way that I want my life to be incomplete
always searching for someone
so I'm leaving cause I can't stand another minute here
disappear with the shadows of my doubt profound

it's a nice night for a drive in the countryside with you
did I forget to mention that I'm still in love with you

now there's no escape I'm running away from everything I hate
give away everything I've ever owned 
now I'm stuck here longing for you to comeback to me
punish me for the pain that I have caused for so long

now I've asked myself is this the way that I want my life to be incomplete
always searching for someone
so I wait here longing for you to comeback to me
punish me for the pain that I have caused for so long

incomplete

thanks a lot for everything you've ruined in my life
I cannot count the times I've contemplated suicide
I blame myself for these misfortunes that have somehow come my way
I'm staring down the barrel of my own pathetic fate

everyone can come along and walk all over me
my fear's only exceeded by my lack of self confidence
you don't have to drag me down, but you do it anyway
the silence has been killing me with thoughts of what could've been
I hope you're happy

I'm living a lie
I'm not satisfied when I wake up to count my blessings
compensating for my loss
if I could take those words that've hurt you and make them hurt a little more
than I would gut you with every fucking chance I got

everyone keeps telling me I need to get it right
the anger they inflict on me sends shivers down my spine
sometimes I feel like killing everyone that rubs me the wrong way
your optimism does no good when your sincerity is fake

everything's a mess and I 
let it fall apart and die
I never wanted it to ever get like this
I've been reduced to shit
replaced by idiots
you say you're happy and it's all a fucking lie


i hope you're happy

garageband test lol

serenaded puppy

VN00009-20120220-2246.amr

VN00024-20110601-2256.amr

VN00026-20110601-2307.amr

VN00071-20120113-2050.amr

shitty keyboard track

wake up and go to bed

Trippin Forehead Balls

Bleu (2012 BT MIX)

she lost her faith when she was raped
she had to find a cheap escape from this mentality
she combined the elements that filled the space
and cleaned up the mess she spilled
the day the earth stood still

holding grudges will only make things worse
can't you find another way to break this curse
there are people who'll just use you for what you've got
so don't forget the things that you were taught

so tenderly she holds herself
broken down, she's trying to brake free
to get a chance to breathe
ironically she hears a voice of a long lost friend
she fears that it's the end, she falls down to her knees

Mike Kraus

Pinned to spotlight

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