01-07-15 07:35PM Wednesday

This is one of several messages I've received on my work voicemail from a man named "Mike." I have no idea who he is or how he got my work number.

"The word for today is 'temporal.'"

01-14-15 10:02PM Wednesday

This voice mail is highly inappropriate and disturbing. Listen at your own risk.

This is one of several messages I've received on my work voicemail from a man named "Mike." I have no idea who he is or how he got my work number.

"Trust me, I'm your doctor!"

01-14-15 10:29PM Wednesday

This voice mail is highly disturbing. Listen at your own risk.

This is one of several messages I've received on my work voicemail from a man named "Mike." I have no idea who he is or how he got my work number.

"Beheading is not a bad thing...but you need to preserve the blood."

02-03-15 10:01PM Tuesday

This is one of several messages I've received on my work voice mail from a man named "Mike." I have no idea who he is or how he got my work number.

"I'm not saying we're better than dinosaurs..."

03-08-15 06:43PM Sunday

This is one of several messages I've received on my work voice mail from a man named "Mike." I have no idea who he is or how he got my work number.

"A C-section? No, an F-section."

"You're talking to the happiest man in the world!"

"I would love to be the guy who killed Gandhi."

"I need a nun!"

"The only orgasm I think I ever gave a woman."

05-04-15 07:48PM Monday

Mike must not have access to google...

"I have a mental block!"

"I. Don't. Care."

"I wanna join Nirvana."

"A mother's day father's day."

I can't even title this. What is he talking about?!

"OPEN UP!"

"I can do it! We can do it!"

"I can't live here another minute!"

When I began my new job in August 2014 I started getting strange messages from a man named "Mike." Usually the messages were pretty harmless, sometimes sad and sometimes hilarious. A few of them are highly inappropriate and terrifying.

I hope you enjoy these as much as I did!

mikesvoicemails

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