I Love You to Death

boy oh boy i love songs that physically hurt to listen to !!!!!!!!!!! don't listen to this at a high volume especially if you have good headphones please i'm serious cause i think i may have hurt my ears working on it

My links: https://linktr.ee/Mikkerj

glaive - arsenic (Mikkerj Remix)

no eurodance song is complete without a janky quality hardstyle bootleg that highkey ruins the original, so here you go :)

Follow me! https://linktr.ee/Mikkerj

Kyle Gordon - Planet of the Bass (Mikkerj Hardstyle Bootleg Remix)

https://mikkerj.bandcamp.com/track/fluorine

(＃＞＜)

did u take ur fluorine today ?

Fluorine

Эта песня такая Сугой. Хардстайл навсегда ^_^
.
Songs sampled (in order of appearance):

Martin Garrix + Dmitri Vegas & Like Mike - Tremor
RØZA - Lost In Faith
leroy - the joke is on you
Martin Garrix + Jay Hardway - Wizard
Martin Garrix + Jay Hardway - Error 404
Martin Garrix + TV Noise - Just Some Loops
KSHMR - Leviathan
leroy - WE'VE BEEN SMOKING ALL DAY...........
G Jones + ISOxo - Say What
Martin Garrix + Afrojack - Turn Up The Speakers
Martin Garrix + Dyro - Latency
100 gecs - 745 sticky
G Jones + Eprom - R.A.V.E.
Dyro - Bring It Down
100 gecs - xXX_i_wud_nvrstøp_ÜXXx
KSHMR - Dhoom
Virtual Self - ANGEL VOICES
Virtual Self - a.i.ngel
Virtual Self - Particle Arts

hardstyleFINALREAL.wav

When u try to order substances on the deep web and u get a download link to this album instead :(


Arsenic

Radium

Silicon

https://mikkerj.bandcamp.com/album/lab-safety-ep

Vanessica and Dr Medicine had to take some paid leave after their Chemical Burns sooooo say hello to Katelynia and Madame Doctor! They're here to teach you the basics of lab safety with their brief but effective training course "Lab Safety" !!! Enjoy!!!!!!!!

Gasoline

ily2d<3

samples Wooden Girl by jonatanleandoer96. thanks to my friends hibronski sadthixx and kaelar for their pics and voice

Bandcamp

(about)
about my first and only girlfriend jenn.

(lyrics)
[Verse 1]

I'm gonna slit your throat open with a razor
And I'll slit my wrists and tell you it's all your fault
I'm gonna stomp your head into the pavement til it's mush
I'll poison you mind til you kill yourself

I'm gonna lock you in a cage and make you watch
As I kill everyone you ever loved
And you'll love me for it you'll say I saved you
But I hate you more than words can explain

[Chorus]

You were broke before I met you
But because of you I break everyone I touch
You're in every part of me
You're in every part of me
You're in every part of me
You're in everyone I touch

[Verse 2]

You're in every part of me
You're in every part of me
You're in every part of me
You're in every part of me
I love you so much
I love you so much
I love you so much
I love you so much

[Outro]

I'm so sorry

(credits)
Samples Phil is not on fire 7 by Dan and Phil, This is Gospel by Panic! At The Disco, There's a part of you in there that I love by Seven x GBPITS, and Mike (Desert island duvet) by Fred again..

Lyrics, vocals, production by me.

yo i lowk got relationship problems

(lyrics)
[Verse 1]
One day I think I'm gonna marry a cam girl
And she’ll love me hate me kill me one day
And she'll fall for me cause I'm so nice and I don't view her just for sex
But she don't I jerked off to her every time I thought of her
But when she held me there I felt like I was safe

[Chorus]
I wanna be    just like her oh
I wanna be    just like her oh
I wanna be    just like her oh
I wanna be    just like me

[Verse 2]
And I think that she's chasing death just like me
She lives a life of chaos just to feel alive I understand
And she'll have to bear the the weight of all my suffering
I'll make her think that she can fix me when I'm already in my grave

I’ll fill her heart with poison
I’ll break her just like I am
I need her
Cause I’m nobody if nobody needs me

She’s the tear in my heart she’s the hole in my brain
She’s the end of my rope and she’ll tie the noose for me 
She’s a butcher with a smile she can carve me how she wants
She can be anything I just want her

Cam Girl

(about)
for any other lonely souls. friendship is possible.

(credits)
Samples Blossom (Live) by Porter Robinson

Loneliness is a Black Hole

I hate myself and I hate that I can be like this fully conscious but do nothing about it

(lyrics)
[Verse 1]
I
Hate the way I am
I’m powerless against myself
I don’t think that I’ll change at all

I
I was broke before you met me and
It’s because of me that I can’t live
I put myself back on the floor again

[Verse 2]
And I
Feel like a fraud
If im not 
Twisted in my head
I think that
Sufferings 
The only constant
Self sabotage

And I feel like
I'm not so human
All I do is pretend

[Interlude]
I wanna change
I cant change
I dont know how to change
Im scared to change
I dont wanna change
I 

[Verse 3]
I love you 
To death and
I hope that
You love me and
I hope when 
You hear this
You won’t want
To leave me

[Outro]
I love you
I can see you
Make me
Whole again

I'm cooked

[Outro 2]
If I had an orchard
I'd work til I'm raw
And you would wait tables
While I run the store

(credits)
Samples Movies for guys by Jane Remover, Helplessness Blues (Solstice Version) by Fleet Foxes, Knock Yourself Out XD by Porter Robinson, and Side Hustle Suicide by Serpent.

Lyrics, vocals, production by me.

Still Me

(about)
for the girl that doesn't exist

(lyrics)
[Verse 1]
I love you
Just you and me together
And the world stops
We can rot forever

And we’re all we need
We complete one another
And you know me
More than anyone else

[Interlude]
Hey sorry to be annoying I’m just wondering if everything’s good you read my message and it’s been a while i’m sorry if I did anything or if I’m bothering you I’m just like worried ummm idk sorry sorry

[Verse 2]
Don’t tell me you love me I know you don’t mean it
Don’t tell me forever I know you don’t believe it
And jealousy eats me alive
You’ll get tired of me it’s just a matter of time

(credits)
Lyrics, vocals, production by me.

Manic Pixie Dream Girl

(about)
to my last year in college in Boston. originally recorded during that time and dedicated to it as well. cover of The Moon (Acoustic) by The Microphones

(lyrics)
[Chorus]
I went back to feel alone there
I went back to wipe it clean
I took the lights and radio towers out of my dreams

[Verse 1]
And we went all the way up to the small town where I'm from
With foggy air and the wind and the mountain tops
And we clung to rocks and we looked off
You held my hand, you almost got to start feeling me

[Chorus]
to feel alone there
I went back to wipe it clean

(credits)
All credit to Phil Elverum for the original song.

Lyrics, vocals, production by me.

The Moon (Cover)

(about)
to joy, tccgp, and Pennsylvania. cover of my song Ghost Girl

(lyrics)
[Verse 1]
I
I miss you
And it's crazy that I feel this
When I doubt you think of me
But I
I wish
That I'd got the chance to know you
Before we said goodbye
And I
I hope
That I'll meet you
Again
Someday

[Interlude]

Even though I miss you, I know that you're not for me
To learn to love myself, I had to let you be
I still can't find someone to make me feel the way that
Somedays I still can't even think
Of what we could've been

(credits)
All credit to me for the original song :p

Samples Jessie (I miss you) by Fred again..

Lyrics, vocals, production by me.

Ghost Girl (Cover)

(lyrics)
[Chorus 1]
Strawberry
I wanna be lonely with you
Strawberry
Hold me deep within your heart

[Bridge]

You're the perfect key to me
You're the perfect key to me

[Chorus 2]
Strawberry
I wanna watch it burn with you
Strawberry
We were everything you wanted

[Bridge 2]
I wish I could be everything you needed

[Outro]

hi siena this is micah. i found your contact in my phone so i just wanted to text you to apologize. i’m sorry for treating you badly and that things ended poorly between us. i was not clear about my feelings for you at the time and didn’t really communicate that properly at all. i also gave you lots of mixed signals so i definitely strung you along which was cruel of me and unfair. i’m sorry also for lashing out at you randomly the last time we spoke. i was upset at you cutting me off with no explanation but i handled it in the worst possible way. i was overall a terrible friend and i realize now how much i hurt you. don’t feel the need to reply to this if you receive it, you don’t have to worry im not trying to kickstart a friendship again or something i just wanted to apologize. anyways, i hope you’re doing okay

(credits)
Samples the song Butterfly by thai body dump, July by jonatan leandoer96, Always Have Always Will (Mikkerj Remix) by Jane Remover, movies for guys by Jane Remover, hope dissemination by thai body dump, Fresh Static Snow (Nurture Live and Worlds Live Versions) by Porter Robinson, and Blossom (Nurture Live Version) by Porter Robinson.

Lyrics, vocals, production by me.

Strawberry

(about)
cover of one of my favorite favorite songs. kimya's music was endlessly inspiring during the creation of this album. I heard "the beer" for the first time and it completely changed my perspective on expression through lyrics. the clash between hyper childlike innocence and immense raw disgusting violent imagery spoke to me so deeply and was exactly what I was looking for to convey this early teen period of my life. this one's for all the freak tweenagers who fried their brains and fried their hearts way too early.

(lyrics)
[Verse 1]
iPod touch red edition
Keeping things from my parents
Kink test masochist
Watching porn learn how to kiss
Live leak decapitation
Total complete isolation
Saved a friend from suicide
Learned how to commit sewerslide

[Chorus]
I felt alone so 
I took her home
She doesn't love me but
She keeps me company everything is alright

[Verse 2]
Kik groomers grocery aisles
Google plus pedophiles
Shane dawson drew monson
Massachusetts greater Boston
Minecraft girlfriend
More than friends
Snapchat nude
Can’t eat food
Take my sertraline
New thoughts I’ve never seen
Bad addiction
Dopamine
Crucifixion
Thirteen

[Chorus]
I felt alone so 
I took her home
She doesn't love me but
She keeps me company everything is alright

[Verse 3]
Why do I
Always pretend
I can spoon a girl
And still be her friend
I always wind up
Crushed down in the end
And it makes me crazy
Woah woah crazy
Woah woah crazy
Woah woah woah

[Bridge]
Dolly parton was
Really smart when
She said
Its not my head that's broken it's my heart

Someone come and save me
Someone come and free me
I’m going crazy
Really crazy

[Verse 3]
Why do i
Always pretend
I can spoon a girl
And still be her friend
I always wind up
Crushed down in the end

[Chorus]
I felt alone so 
I took her home
She doesn't love me but
she keeps me company everything is alright

[Scrapped verse]

Hailey sussman
Caroline
Audrey mccarthy

Emoly
Jenn scott
Carly hemmo

Joy chen
Lena
Siena smallan

(credits)
All credit to Kimya Dawson for the original song.

Lyrics, vocals, production by me.

Everything's Alright (Cover)

(about)
for athénaïs.

(lyrics)
[Verse 1]
And it really hurt cause you were my best friend
Guess I never knew you at all
You threw it all away said you don't know why
And I guess that I'm the sucker with the heart upon his sleeve again

[Interlude]
Pour être honnête, je ne sais même plus exactement pourquoi je ne voulais plus qu'on se parle etc. je sais que j'ai eu un ick à un moment et que à partir de là c'était trop compliqué pour moi d'imaginer la suite de notre amitié.
Mais par contre, je suis très consciente de t'avoir blessé, sans trop d'explications je me suis éloignée et je sais que c'est pas cool, donc désolé pour ça.
Maintenant, je ne sais pas ce que je veux réellement parce que ça me dérange pas que tu m'écrives un peu mais en même temps je sais pas si on pourrait retrouver notre ancienne amitié

[Verse 2]
You threw me in the dirt and then you spat in my face
Said that we'd be friends forever should've known what that means
I know that you're not evil but you broke me more than you could ever know
But I miss you anyways

(credits)
Lyrics, vocals, production by me.

Best Friend

(about)
dedicated to Massachusetts. cover of "East Coast" by Alex G.

(lyrics)
[Intro]
From Westford Massachusetts my hometown we're gonna talk about an article I read the other day it's called 21 things locals understand

[Chorus] 
And I
Lost hope on the East Coast
And I
Lost hope on the East Coast
And I
Lost hope on the East Coast
And I
Lost hope on the East Coast

And maybe I feel like I'm tired of myself
And maybe I feel like my guts are spilling out
And maybe I feel like I haven't been around
And maybe I feel like I'm kinda missing out

And maybe I feel like I'm tired of myself
And maybe I feel like I haven't been around

[Interlude]
Alone
Alone
Alone
I don't wanna be alone

[Chorus]
And I
Lost hope on the East Coast
And I
Lost hope on the East Coast
And I
Lost hope on the East Coast
And I
Lost hope on the East Coast

And maybe I feel like I'm tired of myself
And maybe I feel like my guts are spilling out
And maybe I feel like I haven't been around
And maybe I feel like I'm kinda missing out

And maybe I feel like I'm tired of myself
And maybe I feel like I haven't been around

[Outro]
Locals we don't go to coffee shops like diesel cafe and block 11 we stick to our Dunkin' Donuts got our iced coffees not lookin for anything fancy I just want my iced coffee

Alone
I don't wanna be alone

(credits)
All credits to Alex G for the original song.
Vocals and production by me.

East Coast (Cover)

(about)
for athénaïs.

(lyrics)
[Chorus]
I miss you every day that I'm alive
I miss you every day that I'm alive

[Verse 1]
I miss the way you understand me
Felt like I’m alive again
I miss the way you look at me
When I told you that I hate myself
I miss telling you everything 
And knowing every part of you
I miss the way you see the world
And brighten my entire life

[Interlude]
Je comprends totalement ce que tu ressens et je suis désolée que ça te blesse autant
Écoute honnêtement je sais pas. Surtout que je n'ai pas vu ton évolution parce qu'on se parlait déjà moins quand t'as commencé la thérapie. Mais je suis très fière de toi d'avoir fait ça, j'espère que ça t'as été utile.
Vraiment désolé je sais pas quoi faire ou te dire d'autre. Je te souhaite d'aller bien quand même et de rencontrer de bonnes personnes

[Verse 2]
You said to me it’s different now
And that we can’t get back the past
I miss you even though I know
You don’t ever miss me back

(credits)
Lyrics, vocals, production by me.

Miss You to Death

Self explanatory

(lyrics)
[Verse 1]

You said I’ve got something to show you 
It’s a secret, don't tell anyone else ok? 

I got scared, closed my phone 
You said it’s normal for kids my age

Went on google, I felt scared
I felt red I felt sick I felt weird

I don’t know
What it did
But I think it broke something I can’t fix

On Omegle
ASL 
Saw old guys play with their
It was funny
I don’t care
It’s not like I hadn’t seen worse

Happy puppies
Purity test
Some some guy get raped by a horse
Mutilation
Fan fiction
It was funny I don’t care

[Verse 2]

And now I see you in the porno
Here with me
Could you tell me that you love me

Just the two of us
And no-one else
Could you say you love me again

Illusion fades
You melt away
You’re not who I made you to be

Cut me open
Pour me out
You don’t like just what you see

All my poison, spilling out
I think I’ve hurt you just once too much

I hate this porno 
I hate you
Let me turn you to someone new

[Outro]

I love you
I can see you make me
Whole again

(credits)
Samples Rhubarb (Cover) By Simon Farintosh, and Musician (Nurture Live Edit) by Porter Robinson.

Lyrics, vocals, production by me.

I Feel Sick

(about)
for my ppl who were doomed to be mentally ill addicts before they were even born we are so down rn

(lyrics)
[Verse 1]
I think I do this all cause deep deep down I really hate myself

I crave to feel release I'm drinking dopamine from a cup

I don’t feel guilt anymore each day feels like a blur

I'm living to forget cause I hate living in my head I think I’ll

Die before I’m old it’s just a matter of time before my

DNA gets the best of me and I can’t fight it anymore I

Can’t think of a world where I’m happy in the day to day

I want to feel everything at once then it all to stop

I’ll never change I’m still the same I can’t escape who I am

[Bridge]
I don’t know if I can do this again thinking things will be different

I think I’m getting better then I slide right back

[Chorus]
Staring out my window thinking I could jump that’s all It’d take
And everything is fine I don’t know why it doesn’t scare me anymore

Let this song be a reminder that things can change it's possible
I’ll live to see another day I’ll pick myself up off the floor again

[Outro]
If only you knew how bad things really are lol

(credits)
Samples the video Birthday (Bad Kid Stuff) by vewn and a podcast clip by Hamzah from Slushynoobz

Lyrics, vocals, production by me.

Out My Window

alternate versions of some songs from my album "I Love You To Death"

I Feel Sick (Alt Take)

Loneliness is

I Love You To Death and Forever

Cam Girl (caged)

manic pixie dream girl (nightcore ^.^)

Property of the Forgotten Worlds Archive. Not for release.

A mix of lost songs from our previous collections. Unverified as to their validity and authenticity. Take the stories they tell with caution.

Mikkerj

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