Baptized in Sweat and Blood

If you haven't been keeping up with your celebrity news and you're wondering, "What is Fifty Cent's beef with Sean 'P-Diddy' Combs and what does that have to do with Fifty's chart-topping documentary on Netflix?" but you don't actually have the time or interest to watch the doc or read an article, here's the TL;DR for ya in musical form. Because, let's be honest: Who among us doesn't want to get their celebrity news in the form of rowdy frat rock?

OK, FR FR: I was chatting with a friend who found it hilarious how personally Fifty Cent took that offer to go shopping and how long he's held onto it. I made the joke that it was too bad Fifty didn't want to go shopping when he was asked because "Fiddy-Diddy" is a great Hollywood power-couple name. I then realized that it also sounded like one of those weird, gibberish-ridden novelty songs from the '60s like "Woolly Bully" or "Louie Louie." 

So, later that day, I started singing "Fiddy-Diddy" to myself to the tune of "Woolly Bully" as I cleaned the house and did the dishes, and it made me laugh enough to decide to carve away the literal, legally non-distinct "Woolly Bully" and transform the rest of the idea into a real, purposely-referential-but-unique song. An homage to those songs and that style, where "Fiddydiddy" could just be a fun gibberish word the kids say to annoy their parents or a new dance that's sweeping the socials. From that goofy seed sprang this silly oak.

It's a loose, raucous garage rock song inspired by the vibe of those old party tunes but, as fun, loose, and silly as it is, I do think it's interesting to put yourself in the shoes of an archaeologist or anthropologist looking back at our present moment from the far future, with minimal evidence and no context. How much like gibberish would this news story sound?  *Especially* if they only had this song to go by. Oof.  

Or maybe they'd think a "Fiddydiddy" was some sort of mythological creature, and the verses are an allegory? 

Then I'd pop up in a time machine and say, "Nah, bro. The lyrics are abstracted, but it's a literal retelling of the beef." And then I'd disappear and leave them to debate the historical meaning of the word "beef" when used in that context and in my strangely-accented dialect from The Stupid Ages. Hopefully they'll have already rediscovered Tupac's "Hit 'Em Up" and/or Ice Cube's "No Vaseline" and can use those as a Rosetta Stone of sorts when deciphering the disses and beefs of their ancestors. If not, then all our hopes and dreams of the tales of our most legendary rap beefs surviving deep into the future will be lost in time, like tears in rain.

So, yeah, I think it's a fun song. I hope you enjoy it. And, hey, if you don't, at least it's short. That's just one of the many services I offer to you, my dear listener. Especially those of you who've bothered to read this far. You're the real ones and I appreciate you. Truly.

Anyway, this is just a bit of fun, so enjoy!

LYRICS:

Ten, twenty, thirty, forty!

Ay, Fiddydiddy!
Watch it now, watch it!

Here he comes, here he comes
Watch it now, he getcha!

Diddy asked Fiddy
Do you wanna shop?
Fiddy said not really
Bro, you better stop

Fiddydiddy (woo!)
Fiddydiddy (woo!)
Fiddydiddy, Diddyfiddy
Fiddydiddy, yeah

Watch it, now! Watch it!

Fiddy told Diddy
We gon' make a doc
Diddy said, Oh, Fiddy
My crew won't never talk

Fiddydiddy (woo!)
Fiddydiddy (woo!)
Fiddydiddy, Diddyfiddy
Fiddydiddy, yeah

Watch it now, watch it, here he comes
Ay, he a bad boy too
FREAK OFF!

Diddy say Fiddy
Cease or I'mma sue
Fiddy say No Diddy
Gon' fiddle with you

Fiddydiddy (woo!)
Fiddydiddy (woo!)
Fiddydiddy, Diddyfiddy
Fiddydiddy, yeah

Watch it, now! Watch it!

Watch it now, watch it
Here he comes
He got it, he got that baby oil
Oh, there he go
Now he slippin' away

© 2025 Funk McPuke

Fiddydiddy

FIDDYDIDDY

Gabriel Von damals bis heute (Remixe) – Part 8

Jetzt sind wir schon bei Part 8 angekommen.
Die Remix-Reise geht weiter – von damals bis heute.
Alte Songs, neu gedacht, neu gefühlt.

Dieser Part ist der achte und gleichzeitig der letzte in diesem Jahr.
Ein weiterer Schritt auf dem Weg, den ich für meinen verstorbenen besten Freund gehe – Erinnerung, Dankbarkeit und Musik, die bleibt.

Dieses Mal wird’s nochmal galaktisch 🚀
Spielzeugautos auf dem Tisch, Gedanken im Kosmos,
Nintendo Switch an, Mario Kart läuft,
Kindheit, Freundschaft und Zukunft treffen aufeinander.

Ein Album zwischen Nostalgie und neuen Welten.
Zwischen Spielzeug und Sternen.
Zwischen Schmerz und Liebe.

Album kommt heute Abend.
Für ihn. Für die Reise. Für alles, was war – und noch kommt.

1989 (Clean Version)

Mindless Self Indulgence

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