PUNCH THE LIGHTS OUT HIT THE PAVEMENT THATS WHAT I CALL ENTERMAINT

And I am the devil that you forgot

Tongues And Teeth

With Love, from The Oozes

Blah Blah Blah

Played by The Crane Wives...
Kate Pillsbury - Emilee Petersmark - Ben Zito - Dan Rickabus

featuring their friends…
Steven Leaf - Savannah Buist - Katie Larson - Seth Bernard
Justin Dore - Ian Gorman - Michael Dause

Produced by The Crane Wives & Ian Gorman
Mixed by Ian Gorman
Engineered by Ian Gorman & Ben Zito
Recorded at La Luna Recording & Sound in Kalamazoo, Michigan
Mastered by Glenn Brown at GBP Studios in Lansing Michigan

Artwork by Rebecca Green

Thank you ~ our loving families, Ian & Rachel Gorman, Edith the Kitty, Carmen & Javier Vargas of Mi Pueblo in Kalamazoo, Rebecca Green, Joey Schultz of Chickenbach, The Accidentals, Seth Bernard & May Erlewine Bernard, Steve Leaf & the Ex Pats, Sean & Sarah Lamborne, Arlo Lamborne, Tyler Rehm, 88.1 WYCE, Matt Jarrells, John Sinkevics at Local Spins, Amber Buist, Josh Gibson, Bill Chesney, Lindsay Lou & the Flatbellys, The Appleseed Collective, Kris Kessel, Marianne Fisher, Leah Pillsbury

Special thanks to our PledgeMusic campaign donors. We would not exist without our fans! We are so grateful.

Never Love An Anchor

Played by The Crane Wives...
Kate Pillsbury - Emilee Petersmark - Ben Zito - Dan Rickabus

featuring their friends…
Steven Leaf - Seth Bernard - Rachel Gorman
Savannah Buist - Katie Larson

Produced by The Crane Wives & Ian Gorman
Mixed by Ian Gorman
Engineered by Ian Gorman & Ben Zito
Recorded at La Luna Recording & Sound in Kalamazoo, Michigan
Mastered by Glenn Brown at GBP Studios in Lansing Michigan

Artwork by Rebecca Green
Album Design and Layout by Bill Chesney

Thank you to our loving families and dear friends, Ian & Rachel Gorman, Glenn Brown, Rebecca Green, The Accidentals, Seth Bernard & May Erlewine Bernard, Steve Leaf & the Ex Pats, Joey Schultz of Chickenbach, John Campos, Kris Kessel, Sean, Sarah & Arlo Lamborne, Tyler Rehm, 88.1 WYCE, Matt Jarrells, John Sinkevics at Local Spins, Emily Fox & Michigan Radio, Kevin Romeo & Rhino Media, Joey Basch, Josiah Barber, Amber Buist, Josh Gibson, Bill Chesney, Leah Pillsbury, Mark Sturr, Lindsay Lou & the Flatbellys, The Appleseed Collective, Joy & Tim Lago, Marianne & Jim Fischer, Carmen & Javier Vargas of Mi Pueblo in Kalamazoo and Edith the Kitty. Thank you to all of the people who have welcomed us into their homes, fed us a warm meal, or shared with us their stories. 

Special thanks to our PledgeMusic contributors. This album would not exist without the help of our fans! We are grateful for your support and humbled by your loyalty.

Curses

The Well- The Crane Wives

trans kids are not your enemy and if you really cared about protecting the children like you say you do, the suicide rates of queer youth would FUCKING HORRIFY YOU!!

they were not roommates, they were lovers. 𓂃 tipless

If you haven't been keeping up with your celebrity news and you're wondering, "What is Fifty Cent's beef with Sean 'P-Diddy' Combs and what does that have to do with Fifty's chart-topping documentary on Netflix?" but you don't actually have the time or interest to watch the doc or read an article, here's the TL;DR for ya in musical form. Because, let's be honest: Who among us doesn't want to get their celebrity news in the form of rowdy frat rock?

OK, FR FR: I was chatting with a friend who found it hilarious how personally Fifty Cent took that offer to go shopping and how long he's held onto it. I made the joke that it was too bad Fifty didn't want to go shopping when he was asked because "Fiddy-Diddy" is a great Hollywood power-couple name. I then realized that it also sounded like one of those weird, gibberish-ridden novelty songs from the '60s like "Woolly Bully" or "Louie Louie." 

So, later that day, I started singing "Fiddy-Diddy" to myself to the tune of "Woolly Bully" as I cleaned the house and did the dishes, and it made me laugh enough to decide to carve away the literal, legally non-distinct "Woolly Bully" and transform the rest of the idea into a real, purposely-referential-but-unique song. An homage to those songs and that style, where "Fiddydiddy" could just be a fun gibberish word the kids say to annoy their parents or a new dance that's sweeping the socials. From that goofy seed sprang this silly oak.

It's a loose, raucous garage rock song inspired by the vibe of those old party tunes but, as fun, loose, and silly as it is, I do think it's interesting to put yourself in the shoes of an archaeologist or anthropologist looking back at our present moment from the far future, with minimal evidence and no context. How much like gibberish would this news story sound?  *Especially* if they only had this song to go by. Oof.  

Or maybe they'd think a "Fiddydiddy" was some sort of mythological creature, and the verses are an allegory? 

Then I'd pop up in a time machine and say, "Nah, bro. The lyrics are abstracted, but it's a literal retelling of the beef." And then I'd disappear and leave them to debate the historical meaning of the word "beef" when used in that context and in my strangely-accented dialect from The Stupid Ages. Hopefully they'll have already rediscovered Tupac's "Hit 'Em Up" and/or Ice Cube's "No Vaseline" and can use those as a Rosetta Stone of sorts when deciphering the disses and beefs of their ancestors. If not, then all our hopes and dreams of the tales of our most legendary rap beefs surviving deep into the future will be lost in time, like tears in rain.

So, yeah, I think it's a fun song. I hope you enjoy it. And, hey, if you don't, at least it's short. That's just one of the many services I offer to you, my dear listener. Especially those of you who've bothered to read this far. You're the real ones and I appreciate you. Truly.

Anyway, this is just a bit of fun, so enjoy!

LYRICS:

Ten, twenty, thirty, forty!

Ay, Fiddydiddy!
Watch it now, watch it!

Here he comes, here he comes
Watch it now, he getcha!

Diddy asked Fiddy
Do you wanna shop?
Fiddy said not really
Bro, you better stop

Fiddydiddy (woo!)
Fiddydiddy (woo!)
Fiddydiddy, Diddyfiddy
Fiddydiddy, yeah

Watch it, now! Watch it!

Fiddy told Diddy
We gon' make a doc
Diddy said, Oh, Fiddy
My crew won't never talk

Fiddydiddy (woo!)
Fiddydiddy (woo!)
Fiddydiddy, Diddyfiddy
Fiddydiddy, yeah

Watch it now, watch it, here he comes
Ay, he a bad boy too
FREAK OFF!

Diddy say Fiddy
Cease or I'mma sue
Fiddy say No Diddy
Gon' fiddle with you

Fiddydiddy (woo!)
Fiddydiddy (woo!)
Fiddydiddy, Diddyfiddy
Fiddydiddy, yeah

Watch it, now! Watch it!

Watch it now, watch it
Here he comes
He got it, he got that baby oil
Oh, there he go
Now he slippin' away

© 2025 Funk McPuke

Lights Out

Mindless Self Indulgence

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ITS DENKI KAMINARI!!

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