sun streams across my bed
haven’t breathed fresh air in days 
blend into one 
become the same

keep trying to sleep in 
waking up tense again 
it’s almost noon
waiting to feel okay

what’s the point 

sun streams across my porch
chase the light
surround me dead plants
yellow cushions
support my yearning for illusion

keep trying to be more
fill my brain with acclaimed films and revolutions
knowledge and its quick delusions

what’s the point

if love is all that matters in the end
why does it end
if love is all that matters in the end
why do i end it
if love is all that matters
what’s the point

in the end

i don’t know if i miss you or miss being wanted
don’t know what i want used to being the object
of someone’s affection, desire, direction
i’m breathing
i’m standing alone

i don’t know if i like this or i’m alright despite this
don’t know when my being became so dependent
on others’ attention and others’ intentions
was i ever proud on my own

i’m ashamed of regret 
but i don’t want wanna forget
i’m ashamed of regret 
but i’m losing how it felt to be yours

i don’t know why i’m writing 
in whom i’m confiding 
is this for you or for me

you’re not responding or being despondent 
i’m glad that you’re finally free
i mourn that there’s still you in me

i’m ashamed that i can’t be my own
i’m ashamed cause i thought that’d i’d grown
i’m ashamed that i still don’t know

still don't know

how do i live without your love showering on me
what do i give when there’s nothing you want from me 
how do i live, what do i give

is it me who runs away
or have i learned to smother things
is there no chance you would stay
what will feel better when we’re not together

miss you most when i first wake
hope we realize our mistakes
i keep dreaming that you’ll wait
for me at the edge of the sea

how do i live without your love showering on me
what do i give when there’s nothing you want from me 
how do i live, what do i give

some days this world isn’t enough
there’s cold sheets where there once was blood
some days this life isn’t enough
my mind wanders back and just gets stuck
some days this love isn’t enough
find it everywhere but it’s never us
some days we weren’t enough
i remind myself
call out my own bluff

how do i live without your love showering on me
what do i give when there’s nothing you want from me 
how do i live, what do i give

some days, some days

some days

too cold to remember having been warm  
the draft from the back door holds me now 

too old to remember how to perform 
more cracks than i should be allowed

i’m sorry for not looking down
could’ve been a path laid here on the ground
but i’m shuffling, spreading it around

god if you’re listening
ignore what i want 
it’s time that i learned what i need 

god if you’re listening
be patient with me

i’m sorry for not looking down
never been one to leave shadowed ground
now i’m stunted, you’re all growing out

shuffling

i used to snap when 
you always knew better
now i laugh
never forget to pack a sweater

all my friends say that we look the same in photos
i hope they’re right
love those eyes
that once broken nose
you twirled into a mirror at the club
might be more like you than i thought i was

hard not to envy
resolute focus
search for a fraction of that force
running through my blood

can you remind me
that we don’t give up
i need that more than warmth now

all my friends say that we look the same in photos
i hope they’re right
love those eyes
that once broken nose
you twirled into a mirror at the club
might be more like you than i thought i was

i watch you as you paint
at your easel, you’re a saint
i pray that someday 
i can find a love like that

i watch you and my dad
the comfort that you have
i pray that someday 
i can find a love like that

your spirit glides
as you stay planted
i just plan forever
too romantic

all my friends say that we look the same in photos
i hope they’re right
love those eyes
that once broken nose
you twirled into a mirror at the club
might be more like you than i thought i was

ode to ma

you ever try to write a song about a beautiful friendship for days then just take voice memos of eggs?

right now i wish i was in a park with you
 instead i’m cracking my last egg 
this omelette will be thin
 right now i wish i was in a park with you

sometimes i feel like i’m a part of you 
when you’re down 
i’m sinking too
 i’ll fuck him up, just ask me to
 sometimes i feel like i’m a part of you

right now i wish i was in a park with you 
right now i wish it was getting dark with you

in a park with you

lil bit of a different take on the original

Pretender (Miike Snow Cover)

carried books to prisons
like you do to my apartment
self-unfoldment, starving
for all i don’t know

taught me to make fire
alchemize the broken bones
tied in tedium, tired
for what? i don’t know


when i leave and while i live
i’ll call no other home
while i stay and when i’m still
we dream of plains to roam

we’re more alike than i would like sometimes
the phantom pain, they insist that you’re fine


neck deep in the water 
you scream guttural notes
with my toes in, i’m learning
the sides i don’t know

when the room is quiet
your laugh breaks the silence
from a memory
distant, long ago
i hold it close 


when i leave and while i live
i’ll call no other home
while i stay and when i’m still
we dream of plains to roam

we’re more alike than i would like sometimes
the phantom pain, they insist that you’re fine
i feel it too, i’ll try to bring some light

ode to pa

acoustic cover of a very not acoustic song
also abrupt ending due to my shitty recorder sry

Love is Greed (Passion Pit Cover)

sonic journaling. short, simple, messy first drafts. cathartic lil time capsules. found so much comfort in writing these, hope you find some in listening.

 ✿♬ﾟ+.(｡◡‿◡)♪.+ﾟ♬✿。

miranda rose

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