Results 

The horse on the run
in the desert sun
The comet did come 
and burned everyone
The stars don't care
if the planets won

The blood in the vein
headed for the drain
It flows to the pain
with thanks to the brain
The scars don't care
when the bleeding comes

The road split the hill
near the oil spill
It broke all the will
of who foot the bill
The cars don't care 
where the drilling's done

Some delay them
Some betray them
Some obey them
Praise results

Some decide them
Some deride them
Some abide them
They exult

Results

Whatever Keeps You Honest

Religion doesn't work for me
I think it's a crock
Centuries of enemies
use it as their chopping block
It causes war and death and hate
all in the name of love and peace
So I applaud all those of faith
who do good and feel sweet release

Hey, 
Whatever keeps you honest

Drinking doesn't float my boat
I just get tipsy
Thankfully it's not for me
or I might owe apologies
It leads to pain and liver damage
in the guise of partying
But some use it to loosen lips
when the tension's hardening

Hey, 
Whatever keeps you honest

Life's a moral free-for-all
We pick sides on a hunch
It's a left-right flurry of contradictions
ending with a sucker punch

Chasing wealth just turns me off
It's an endless fight
The more your greed, the more you need
Gluttony's an ugly sight
Trading scruples for more rubles
earns a soul for squandering 
Yet it is tragic, plus some magic 
if they're caught money laundering

Hey, 
Whatever keeps you honest

Whatever Keeps You Honest

A Million Feet Tall

Look out, look out below

I'm a million feet tall
(He's a million feet tall)

I'm trying to dance
but sneaking a glance
I don't domino most of the Great Wall

When doing a waltz
the air traffic halts
In fact I can't get down unless I crawl

I'm a million feet tall
(He's a million feet tall)

I'm doing a jig
but I am so big
they can feel my moves in the next port of call

My two-step is wide
and a Cuban slide
would glide the whole length of America's Mall

Look out, look out below

You better watch my step

I got legs and I know how to use them

189.393939 miles high

Look out, look out below

I'm movin' on up

I'm a million feet tall
(He's a million feet tall)

I never have leapt
and my one quickstep
is the equivalent of one trillion of y'all

I once did ballet
way back in the day
Every pirouette increased the urban sprawl

I could boogaloo
but if I were you,
jump on the next jet and head up to Nepal

If I did a tap
get all set to clap
A tsunami will precede my curtain call

I'm a million feet tall
(He's a million feet tall)

A Million Feet Tall

The Popcorn Tree

Let's neck near a nook in the storybook of the popcorn tree 
We'll nap near a knot, once a lookout spot to protect Club Glee

There’s a kernel of truth of a fountain of youth at the popcorn tree 
So come lay on the ground with a crunching sound for infinity

The grass grows green to fluffy yellow 
Can there be any greater sight or smello?

Popcorn tree
Me and thee 
Popcorn tree 
Ecstasy

What more can I do to butter you up?

The wee kernels grow and in spring finally show their presence 
On the hottest day near the end of May they pop into pleasance

Let’s bunk near the trunk ‘til we’re sugar-drunk at the popcorn tree 
We’ll laze on the maize in a happy haze-filled recipe

The grass grows green to fluffy yellow 
Can there be any greater sight or smello?

Popcorn tree
Me and thee 
Popcorn tree 
Ecstasy

What more can I do to butter you up?

The Popcorn Tree

What's On Your Plate

What's on your plate?   
How full is your life?    
Do you have a 5-course feast ahead   
or an idle fork and knife?   
If you hunger for some more  
do all that you can to create   
what's on your plate   

What's on your plate?
What busies your brain?
Is it a delicate souffle
or a crushed-up candy cane?
Give your head and gut a break,
take some time to masticate
what's on your plate   

Life is fleeting   
so we gulp down food for thought   
Slower eating   
gives us all a chance to chew   
on the things we need to do      
Swallow all your pride so            
in your throat it won't get caught    

If you find your
eyes are bigger than your mouth
just decline to
pile extra helpings on
Leave some for the woebegone
Work can help divert 
a sour mood from going south

What's on your plate?
How finished are you?
Is your goose already cooked 
or could it use a year or two?
That bad taste on your tongue could mean 
you didn't check the expiration date 
of what's on your plate

What's On Your Plate

Nothing But a Soul

Pardon me, a part of me is reaching for release 
The entire mass of me is asking for decrease

My left thumb said "See ya', chum" and hit the road in hitchhike mode 
The rest of my fingers chose not to linger and took a turn at being a fern

Five pints of blood said "Later, bud!" then fortified and oxidized some facial mud 
A ribcage and a couple of bones headed for the jungle as a xylophone

One week ago I was a whole 
now I'm nothing but a soul

My brain went insane from the strain of pain and took a plunge as a car wash sponge 
Twenty-seven hairs that made up a curl flocked to the locks of a newborn girl

Several organs and a gland got a job as a billboard ampersand 
An elbow turned to macaroni 
My ponytail just joined a pony

One week ago I was a whole 
now I'm nothing but a soul

When you pin a reincarnation on the lapel of a flesh tuxedo, 
what is left feels overdressed, 
and "Let's split" becomes its common credo

Beauty marks, freckles, and some warts became the imperfections in a piece of quartz
Some cartilage and a ligament replaced the guard wires in an army tent

Testes and their penis bestie made a foray to play croquet 
The eyelids said "This is lame" and turned into the shells in a shell game

One week ago I was a whole 
now I'm nothing but a soul

Nothing But A Soul

You Get By

You're the greatest at everything you do
and even a few you don't
I'm determined to be a big success
though the clock hints I won't
Each giant step I trip on
becomes a bigger crutch
But you, not so much

It's abundantly clear I'm inferior
in every single way
You take a giant bite of life
and I have tooth decay
The way I fumble blindly
means I've lost the touch
But you, not so much

You get by so calm, cool and collected
You get by without breaking a sweat
You rely on confidence and ego
You play a soaring solo while I just sit and fret 

I've got the skills, I've got the smarts, I've got the experience
but the temper in my temperament knocks down every fighting chance
What's the secret to your method of living uncompromised? 
Is it that you hardly care at all
while my concern is super-sized?

If it sounds like I'm supremely jealous,
it's because I am
I know the trait is unbecoming
but I don't give a damn
I won't let up until I've got the answer in my clutch
But you, not so much

You get by and don't ruffle a feather
You get by without even a nudge
You defy every prediction
You skate through life so gracefully and I get stuck in sludge

Well guess what?

You'll get by but I'll be right behind you
You'll get by while I ride your wake
You can try to draw a distinction
but from now on I'm gonna be a shadow you can't shake

You Get By

When Your Number's Up

When your number's up
You jump on the dance floor, ready to rock

When your number's up
The lottery jackpot check is on the way

When your number's up
You know just who to keep pandering to

When your number's up
Shake the thermometer, then climb back in bed

When your number's up
There's no need to have a hit show as your lead-in

When your number's up
Sold! To the man with the turquoise necktie

When your number's up
Advance three spaces and roll again

When your number's up
"Ralph from Brooklyn, you're on the air"

When your number's up
The proud new papa presses his face against the glass

When your number's up
You start to think maybe Dr. Oz is on to something

When your number's up
All that studying doesn't seem like such a bummer

When your number's up
Put down the Snapchat, the dentist will see you now

When your number's up
The maitre d’ will show you to your table

When your number's up
Blow out all those candles on your cake

When your number's up
The dealer slides a pile of chips in your direction

When your number's up
Go get that cheesecake you've had your eyes on

When your number's up
NASDAQ is the sweetest sound you've ever heard

When your number's up
You're dead

When Your Number's Up

It Won't Be Long Now
 
I was born with primo genes
which make my bottom and top clean
What goes up must come down
but only one end wears a frown
 
Hair today and gone tomorrow
I'll keep giving you some skin
Heading for happiness, not sorrow
Bald is how we all begin
So shield your eyes while I take a bow
It won't be long now
 
Telly, Mr. Clean, and Yul
used their shiny, skin-smooth tool
to coax the women through their doors
for hot romance and cleaner floors
 
The gentle egg sits there in the shade
It had no problem getting laid
Look at Gandhi and Sinead
The masses say they got it made
and neither of them had a cow
It won't be long now
 
Minoxidil is nearly nil
Rugs and weaves are worser still
Transplants you can just forget,
my skull is not some Chia Pet
 
No need to spray, cut, style or primp
No colorings or permanents
Throw brushes, combs, and driers out
A lesser man would sit and pout

We'd all be better off this way
All people white, black, yellow or gray
would be more similar today
So shave it off now, don't delay!
 
Barbers are barbarians,
cutting off looks right to them
Some surgery they used to do
so count your ears,
there should be two
 
There's plenty more in other places
Some is pubic, some is public
The stuff that grows out of my face is
such a nag I keep it stubbly
 
So comb it back from your brow
It won't be long now
Even Buddha got you ta’ vow and kowtow
It won't be long now

It Won't Be Long Now

What Goes Around Comes Around

When I was a little kid			
I could not tell right from wrong		
Never questioned what I did		
Even brought my friends along		

What goes around comes around   	

As a teen things headed south
Like a fool I fought the law
Got kicked from school for my mouth
They're gonna learn that this is war

What goes around comes around	

I will take what's rightly mine
even if you think it's yours
To be denied would be a crime
I play the game to settle scores

What goes around comes around

I am bad at being good			
I am good at being bad			

If you think I can be tamed
you had better think again
You're the one that will be blamed
when we reach the bitter end

What goes around comes around

Mitch Friedman