alive

angeltrumpets (prod. cgm, mm & net gear)

makeyourmind

endorphins

drainnuuu

r0sebuddy

how2saveyourself

boodupiguess

theresnopointtothissss

sayyes

art by taylor thank u taylor

i just wanna know if its always gonna end in this way
where i think back on my  life and how i think it could change
and i dont think about time because i think of my age
where i been chasing my dream but i got nothing to say

i get carried away
with the thoughts that i have
and if i push you away
well just know that its that
that i feel that ive been pushed 
by people staring at me 
and i dont know if you know
how that all feels to me

cus i
wanted peace from all the pain
that i felt throughout my life
undiagnosed but yet
i knew that something wasnt right

so i had me a couple of shots
and i had me a couple of pills
and i went to the bathtub
to try to see the other side

i just wanted to feel nothing back then
but now i feel too much the way i exist
i lived in my head without a single friend
and now i feel lonely but not all that bad

i just wanna know if its always gonna end in this way
where i think back on my  life and how i think it could change
and i dont think about time because i think of my age
where i been chasing my dream but i got nothing to say

(im not fucking done yet :))

i miss my mom and my dad
i miss my brother the most
i wish that i  had the love 
i used to feel at home
i wish that i knew a way
i wish that i had a plan
i wish that i could be happy
with the way that i am

i wasted seven years of my own life cus i felt that i always
had to do what i was told but never really thought of me
if i had it on my terms, i wouldnt make an enemy
but wanna say fuck you to all the friends that never cared for me




-ed

journalentry01/07/21 (prod. wonderr & twoproducers)

theresnopointtothissss

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chaos777

Scarlet Rot

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