While listening to that song I remembered my dad
He was crazy, short tempered, distant and I barely saw him once every five years
But the day I reported him and he got the message he came running
He didn’t yell didn’t snap just sat there bragging about me to the officers
Like I was his biggest achievement saying how smart I am and how I’ve got what it takes
That moment the only one that could ever save him

Since I was little, I used to see girls with their fathers and ask myself, why am I not like them?  It was my dream to have a dad who buys me things, plays with me, jokes with me, scares me sometimes, but still loves me. But my life was never clear. I was happy but sad, I laughed but cried, I was so moody.  A dad who cares — but he’s not here. A mom who cares — but doesn’t understand. I grew up different. Every time I hear the word dad, I cry. I got used to it, but I never accepted it.  I feel like a failure, but also successful. I want to be free, but sometimes I just give up. I get jealous a lot, but sometimes I accept reality. I can’t express my feelings, and maybe I don’t even understand them.  When will this end? Will God help me? But I don’t deserve it.  I’m a star, but there’s no sky. I have wings, but there’s no air. I see far away, but there’s no path. I have stories, but who can I tell them to?

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Angelica

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Bell1006

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