This is a song for anyone who has ever been gaslighted by a narcissist 

The Problem

Every time I hear this song
I think of the time that you told me that I was
The problem with everything gone wrong
In everything I’d done

I took every pill they said to take
And I get to take them every day
I don’t feel that much but I still hate you

I don't think it's true just what they say
Everything has changed except the pain
They tell me I should but I don't pray for you

Every time I see your car
I think of the lie that you sold me that I was 
Your brother but you’re the only one
That you’ve ever loved

Faster than you can gain it back
On the attack before you lack
When will you learn that you can’t make the truth

Why did it take so long to see
Every flaw you made me bleed
Was crafted as you distort reality


Every regret that I have made
I live them again until I break
But quitting you helped me set it straight through

Every time I hear this song
I think of the lie that you sold me
That I was the problem
But you’re the only one
That no one else can love

You’re the only one
Your never can outrun
You're the only one
Your problems have become


If I could just forget
And do it all again
Maybe I’d still be there to
The letter



The Problem

this song took me 10 years and multiple variations before it made it to this one. I feel like it grew with me as I grew as a songwriter. It's about knowing that you're in a dying relationship and all the ups and downs. 

Ask or Tell

I can hear 
You sleeping in the bedroom
While I sit and clear 
Every sound your phone makes
'Cause it's 2AM 
And normally on silent
But it rings again
He's just a friend?

When you've gone to sleep
Who was in your dreams tonight?
I won't ask or tell
But love I'll be right near your side
This one last time

I am walking here with you, arms around your frame
The windy city breathes tonight, and  makes us feel the same
A distant sigh, convenient lies, what’s it gonna take? 
I keep coming back to you, even when it’s fake

We can make it through, through until this narrow road has opened up
We can be as true as true, as we want to be run by me and you

When you've gone to sleep
Who was in your dreams tonight?
I won't ask or tell
But love I'll be right near your side
This one last time

I think we are through...
Through until this narrow road
Has opened up
And we can be as true
As we want to be run by me and you
(I keep coming back to you
but I know it's too late)

When you've gone to sleep
Who was in your dreams tonight?
I won't ask or tell
but love I'll be right near your side

You walk in, evasive eyes it makes me afraid
Of who's that calling out to you, even though it's late
A distant sigh, convenient lies, what's it gonna take
I keep coming back to you, but I know it's too late

I know it's too late
We gave all there was to try
I know it's too late

Ask or Tell

A song about struggling to get along with people

Hanging On

These days I’m just hanging on like
I’ve never lived in the past
Even though I want to feel sad
I know it’s me
Who else could it be? 

Some days I’m just moving on like 
I can’t make everyone laugh
Some people just want to feel bad
Even though I'll never know why
It matters to me
When have you ever tried
Loving you

Everytime something good comes along
We’ve gone and messed it all up
‘Cause I’m just a little bit wrong
About you

The days are just trollin’ on like
I’ve never been more unright
You’ve never been more alright

It sounds like its a good time
For another really big fight
Can we just stop and hold tight

Until I’m just hanging on like
I don’t know why I’m so mad
Maybe if I should try to feel glad
Until I’m free
There’s no guarantees




Hangin On

A song for the person who never left your side

Unresisted

I took a phony call, another bill to pay
Will these chronic vultures ever fly away?
I laid there for hours, trying to be ok
To tell you that I’m living today

Your type always suffers everyone’s mistakes
I’m the jaded kind that loses every game
Last time’s biggest loss was never gonna gain
It broke me to pieces the same 

You fought to persuade me when I couldn't
You said I would make it when I didn’t 
Believe in myself
But now it’s written
I love how you make me a better person
You’d always accept me, when I wouldn’t release myself
From this prison

You said “no more dogs!” when you cried that day
I felt so confused but it went away
Then you had a dream about a dog you named
That’s how we adopted a stray

You fought to persuade me when I couldn't
You said I would make it when I didn’t 
Believe in myself
But now it’s written
I love how you make me a better person
You’d always accept me, when I wouldn’t release myself
From this prison

Interlude

I wanted to make this so you’d have it
You’d never demand me, but I’m committed
To keeping your heart unresisted


Unresisted (Acoustic)

This is a song about a conversation between two people who have abandonment issues

Leave

We never really talk anymore
Because you only call me when you’re coming home from drinking
Or sinking alone

But we really know why I won’t
Take your calls or care that much
For dinners with winners
You own 

You know I could be free some more
To be someone you had wanted
Before
You know I'm always torn

If I'm mad at you
It’s my attitude so
I can leave you
Before you leave me
Have some gratitude
I was still in control
Every time you cried and
Said I never 
Lied to sell the truth
Died for saving your soul
So you can leave on a dime
I never owed
You can leave anytime you want to

You were only fine when never alone
Living in between your letters for a quitter
And hitter at home

I was never good as you could have hoped
To be a hero you had wanted before
You know I've never sworn...

If I'm mad at you
It’s my attitude so
I can leave you
Before you leave me
Have some gratitude
I was still in control
Every time you cried
And said I I never 
Lied to sell the truth
Died for saving your soul
So you can leave any time
I never showed
You can leave anytime you want to

Interlude

I’m not mad at you
Please just say if you sold
Me for all the shiny things
That you now own
Up to the truth
I have written in bold
It’s the reason why he left
And why you
Neh-ver tell the truth 
Why you acted so cold
It’s his attitude 
And now it is my attitude
It’s my attitude
It’s my attitude

You can leave anytime you want to...

Leave

This is a song I wrote for my grandma. She would tell me many stories growing up. I'll never forget them or how much she loved us all. 

Grandfaith

I remember when you'd hold me in your 
Arms when I was barely two
When you prayed every single day
You were always stronger and 
Sadder than I ever knew
Being with him made you that way

I remember the time that you saw 
Heaven from your bedroom view
You cried and laughed at the same
In your eyes I saw the peace
That broke your fear and made you new
And then it faded away

You saw heaven open up like rain
Even though he spoke to you irate
You saw heaven, I saw you could fabricate
All your hope into what you’d meditate

I've seen the others try to pray like you did
It keeps their demons at bay
But if you’ve ever heard a screaming angel
They sound exactly the same

I’ve seen your children cry
When they remember
That winter when you had made
Trinkets that you sold
With bleeding hands cold
So they could eat for a day

You saw heaven open up like rain
Even though he hurt you when irate
You saw heaven, I saw you could fabricate
All your love into what you’d meditate
Hold on tight because it fades away

Times have changed 
And so does faith
Have I really let go?
When it’s quiet, I feel a riot
Of song, deep in my soul: 
I can speak the words that killed
The bleeding martyr, hand in nails
The storms were silent
The waves until…

The father spoke and took these hills
I can see the world unseen
Speak in tongues I've seen in dreams 
Lift the serpent by the tail
Or call the plague that eats frail

You saw heaven open up like rain
Even though they beat me with that saving grace
You saw heaven, one I never can attain
Through the lies, they sell to keep the faith
Hold on tight, because it fades away
Hold on tight, because I'll fade away


Grandfaith

A breakup song

It's My Shovel
I wish I believed in us
At this point I can't even be fake
It's me or you, and I choose me
That's my take

There can never be an us
It could never be, it could never seem
That me or you, is you and me
That's insane

What if there could be an us
I’d give anything if I could be redeemed
By your decree, but you left me
Holding faith

I let their mistakes, be my struggle
It’s not yours to take, it’s my shovel
To bury the past where I stumbled

You're never alone if you’re humble
You’ve got what it takes, at every level
Believe in yourself, you know that I will

I know I believe us
At this point I can’t even explain
How she and you, saved all of me
We’re the same


Its My Shovel

This song is for all the people who don't love themselves

She Breaks

When she woke up, on a better day
She tried to lose it all, but she just can't shake; the weather upset her 
More than she’d like to fake

I tried and tried, more than complain
She’s says fine, at least that’s what she paints in her mind all of the time
She breaks

She breaks whenever she can't escape
The thoughts of every part she hates
Of herself is what she once explained 

I know she loves, the rabbits that eat our greens
‘Cause she's got plants in the hundred teens
If I'm right, don't ask if she agrees

She’s lost much more, more than she’s ever gained
She cries much more, more than she’d ever say
But it’s lies- that was the way she’s raised

She breaks whenever she can't escape
The thoughts of every part she hates
Of herself is what she once explained

I know it's not the truth I see
At all but I can't make her see
Herself like she means to me

So I'll stay right here with her
Until there's nothing left to burn
But ourselves to keep this fire warm

She breaks but now and then she escapes
To thoughts of everything we have made
For ourselves to keep this fire warm


She Breaks

Sometimes you have to burn it all down to move on

Keep the Cruel

This the end of everything I loved
About you dear, so sing along
But keep the cruel

I saw you there in the shade at dawn
Your turned your back at the tree we loved
You meant goodbye, when you sang this song 
I hear the words, even though you've gone

Can you count the years that we had won?
Maybe a hand, or maybe I'm wrong
You took the best of everything I loved
Now I’m here, singing this song

Then it was night and the crickets hummed
I know their tune, but the words become
What you had said, when you left last month
I hate the words, they are writ in blood

Can you count the years that we had won?
Maybe a hand, or maybe you're wrong
You took the best of everything we loved
Now I’m here, singing this song

I'll set the fire, you add the fuel
Throw in your heart but keep the cruel
We’ll watch it burn into the night
Hand in hand this one last time
I’ll hide the ashes deep inside
But keep the cruel ‘cause its your prize
It's your prize 

This is the end of everything I loved
About you dear, so take  this song
and keep the cruel

Keep the Cruel

This song is for anyone who has ever lost someone special 

Buried this June

I looked into your empty room
Feels so bizarre, I’m trying to
Fake it as far, missing the part
That’s you

Buried this June afternoon
She put them down just for you;
Violet hearts, to cover the scars 
In bloom

I'll leave a light on
Every night
In case you can’t find your way
I’ll misconstrue
Every sign
That you made it through

I heard a sound I thought was you
It happens every time I do
Things that we loved, or things I forgot
Were true
  
Buried in June, life resumes
The violet hearts consumed
Quicker than thoughts, forgetting the loss
Too soon

I'll leave a light on
Every night
In case you can’t find your way
I’ll misconstrue
Every sign
That you made it through

You left in June with
Violet hearts
Falling apart too soon
I left a light on
Just so you knew
That I still love you

Buried in June (acoustic)

This is the second part of Grandfaith; it's about my grandfather. He leaves behind a complicated legacy. This song is about when he would step outside to be alone when he wasn't feeling well. Rest in peace. 

Grandfaith pt2

You lived with us, since winters were warm
But you were restless, hiding a form
You went outside alone again
It happened a lot when I was ten
You didn’t walk, you sat the car
In the backseat, parked in the dark

Years later and you're dead
I'm up inside in my head
I'm losing all my sense
Is it time to go? 

You weren’t well is what I find
More and more as yours is mine
But when their love began to crack
They sent a child to bring you back

Years later and you're dead
I'm up inside in my head
I'm losing all my sense
So it's time I go 
Outside like you did
Let’s both lose it
Then we’ll come back home

What they taught me
Was to give myself to them
But for myself
Now, that’s a sin

Years later and you're dead
I'm up inside in my head
I'm losing all my sense
So it's time I go 
Outside like you did
Let’s both lose it
Then we’ll come back home

Years later, you’re still dead
I'm up inside my head
I'm losing all my sense
It's time to go

Years later, you’re still dead
I've fallen time and again
I’ve learned how to tread
More lightly when
Outside

Grandfaith (Part 2)

This is a song for anyone who has ever lost or failed at something. Someone out there feels this way for you, and you should too. 

Forfeit Fights     

I know you hate them
For saying its true
But you don’t belong here
I know it too

It’s no ones fault
It’s no ones answer
For where we go from here

But I’m with you
Thick and through
Every time
We lose

You don’t owe anybody
Anything
But you don’t believe that
You were raised to think

Your bleeding heart 
Was all the world's to see

But I’m with you
Thick and through
Every time we choose
Sleepless nights
Forfeit fights
Burnt out lights
And shoes

You chose the narrow path instead
Of ones that led to lighter trends
When I fell down and broke the skin
On every hope we didn’t win
You put my arms around your neck
And carried me until the end

So I’m with you
Thick and through
Every time we lose
Sleepless nights
Forfeit fights
Burnt out lights
And 
Sleepless nights
Forfeit fights
Burnt out lights
And shoes

Forfeit Fights

This is a song for anyone who has ever lost someone they were taking care of. 

Hospital

I saw the knife
And I pulled it out
The side
Her blood was cold
But I fixed what 
I could find
When I laid down
Someone else was
Next in line

This on and on
Has me falling
Every time

Fall into the places
You forgot before
Dare to lose
Everything you’ve
Held on for
You will fear
What isn't really
Here anymore
Isn't here anymore
Isn't here anymore 

She was a mom
Who worked many
Jobs and times
She only saw 
Her little ones
Asleep at night
She was too kind
That's why they
Die every time

This on and on
Has me falling
Every time

Fall into the places
You forgot before
Dare to lose
Everything you’ve
Held on for
You will fear
What isn't really
Here anymore
Isn't here anymore
Isn't here anymore

Bless this truth
in every shade
That’s mine alone
To make the braid
That twists around
This tired nape
And to the dark that
Knows my face
Into the dark
That knows
I’m game
To take a leap
Against the grain
To fall unseen
For lives in pain
To stand between
Your life in vain

So I sit
Listening to every word
As we have shared
Every burden 
Once returned
I fall into places
I forgot before
See you there
When we meet
Beyond the door


Hospital

This a song about taking hits and wondering if things will ever get better. I had frustrating fun while making this song. I composed and recorded directly into Logic for the first time  and my old brain had trouble adapting to it.  I still mixed it with Reaper because I've been using it for several dog years and some cat years as well.  I ended up changing the drum track because sometimes songs need big drums and the first one ended up having too much reverb and sat in the back of the mix. 

This Is It

Is this it
Is this as good as I get?
Giving in
When there’s only regret

Can I take another hit?
The next one might just
Be the one that 
Helps me to forget
Can you pass a little bit
But not too much it's hard to quit 
Since we stopped having friends   

What’s this feeling
Of not being alright
And living for
The end of the night
While you hold on
Ever as tight 
To anything
Good you can find

Is this it?
Why's it like this every time?
And I’ll quit
No matter how hard I’ve tried

Can I take another hit?
The next one might just
Be the one that 
Gets me to reset
Can you pass a little bit
But not too much it's hard to quit 
Since you stopped being my friend

What’s this feeling
Of not being all right
And living for
The end of the night
While you’ve been crying
At every fight
And I hold on
To every bite

Is this it?     

I don’t like this anymore
And I’ll quit now
To show you how
Much I have loved you more
Can't you hear the storm?

Then I saw you run in the rain
And I joined too, feelin’ the same
Is this is love; or just a mistake
When it's all done, what will I say?

This is it…
This is it.

This Is It

This is a song about breaking up with someone who cannot love you for who you are.

Fragile Front

You don't even know enough
You don’t even know
The pieces I have shown
The rest was hiding in the mud

Why was I never enough?
You’d always explode
With every little joke
All the ways I needed to be tough

Don't say you’ll never say that again
Or take back all the love you spent
It's mine, and I'll never give an inch
Just say you loved me for pretend
Hold me, not like when we were friends 
It's fine, everything has an end

Why did you blame me so much?
You would always scold
Until it filled your soul
With everything you took from us

I know I don't need your love
There are times I need
A little more than dreams
That make up your fragile front

Don't say you’ll never say that again
Or take back all the love you spent
It's mine, and I'll never give an inch
Just say you loved me for pretend
Hold me, not like when we were friends 
It's fine, everything has an end

Just say you and me will pretend
We gave everything we could spend
To find, this is the very end

Fragile Front

Breakthrough

Took a bigger pill
Strong enough to kill
Everything I feel
That’s not worth fighting

Every single screen
Tells me what we need
But I keep having dreams
Where I quit trying

You should choose yourself
I could save my health
While they steal our wealth
But we’re still dying

I am tired of the fake news
It's the reason I don't call you
And you said that I'm woke
‘cause I don't laugh at your jokes

I can’t promise it won't hurt you
But if you give me your hand
We’ll make a stand
Where blood began
To break through

Unprecedented times
Existential crimes
Everyone is lying
But no one’s buying

Look up at the stars
While everybody starves
They are much too far
But at least they're free

I am tired of the fake news
It's the reason I don't call you
And you said that I'm woke
‘cause I don't laugh at your jokes

I can’t promise it won't hurt you
But if you give me your hand
We’ll make a stand
Where blood began
We’ll make our stand
With bloody hands
To break through

Write a bitter will
Secret up until
Every one of us
Is lost in writing


Breakthrough

A song about finding true love

Fallen
 
Father where are you, I am lost
I cannot see you in the dark
When I reach out all I feel
Is the cold steel that I brought
I know I’ve fallen insincere 
But they always told me you’d be near
If my heart was broke 
Did it break enough?

I have fallen insincere
I can’t wait for you another year
Wondering if your ghost will reappear
I have fallen insincere
What's the point of living in your sphere
If you’re never home, to be sincere
They always told me
You were the only
One to fear

Father forgive me, I am cross
Followed the riches that I lost
Now it’s up in smoke
And I’ve had enough

Further I’ve fallen, every year
But she was the only one who cheered
When I stumbled home
She is cool and tough

I have fallen insincere
I can’t wait for you another year
Wondering if your ghost will reappear
I have fallen insincere
What's the point of living in your sphere
If you’re never home, to be sincere
They should’ve told me
You’re not the only one to fear
That's a mistake 
I’ll never remake
I’m tired of faking
Your love in vain
When you promised me
We’d be there
Naked in air
But everything we’ve shared
Becomes fallen
I'm fallen
I'm fallin'

Father forgive me
I am lost
Into another
Angel’s arms
And she will never ask
If I did enough  


Fallen

The Death of Freedom

Drum loops were from Yurt Rock's deep fried indie rock guitar kit. I picked them because they sounded delish. 

Rebels

We were so much better
When we bled together
Standing on my shoulders
We were young like soldiers

When your fire lit the stack
We were never coming back
As the embers filled the sky
Someone else was in your eyes

You will always see
What you wanna see
And you never will know
That you’re losing me
I am your defiance
So we stand like giants
For everything

You wrote my name up on a wall
Painted bloody red “for all”
You fought for me those darkest nights
You stayed with me, until the light

But when your fire lit the stack
We were never coming back
Now my embers fill the sky
And you will watch as freedom dies  

You will always see
What you wanna see 
And you never will know
That you’re losing me
I am your defiance
Up against the giants
Of everything

You’ve taken all there is to take
But no one’s left to take the blame
It’s been years since we were first
And your still dreaming from the curse
Of the door that’s painted gray
And takes you home from far away
And you go through its weary frame
You see familiar flames ablaze

Of when your fire lit the stack
And I was never coming back
Now my ashes fill the sky
And you have watched as freedom dies

You can always be
What you wanna be
Will you be my rebel?
Until the score is settled?

I will always be
What you wanted me to be
Don’t make me a number
For your trophy hunters
 
We will always be
What you wanted us to be
I am your defiance
Will you be my giant?

Rebels

This song is for you. You have battled, hurt and lost in ways that only you know. But thank you for being here with me, and listening to this song. I hope it can help you in some small way in these unpredictable times.

Always

We had always liked
The way that she sat in
Between us

She would always cry
For anyone
Lost in the lead up

We had so much time
But she’ll never
See Argentina

When she left we died
And there was no love in
Between us

The you that died that day
Had someone else’s heart
Now we are left to 
Pick up the pieces
And scrape up every part
The you that died that day
Was never strong enough
That's why we’re out here
Better without fear
And you're just one of us

I would always try
But I didn't know 
How to read him

As his anger shined
I couldn't say
What was needed

And each time I died
I couldn't stop
To repeat it

The you that died that day
Had someone else’s heart
Now we are left to 
Pick up the pieces
And scrape up every part
The you that died that day
Was never strong enough
That's why we’re out here
Better without fear
And you're just one of us

You were always right
I’m not a true believer

Always on my mind
But I’ll never
Be his achiever 

She was always kind
Maybe it's time
To go see her

The you that lived that day
Has a better heart
You were made up of
All of the pieces
Of someone that I loved
The you that lives today
Will always be enough
You are not perfect
But it will be worth it
Cause you are one of us
We are not perfect
But it will be worth it
Cause you are one of us

Always

The Betrayer (Moe-Fi)

He woke up in the dark. He could hear static, from an old radio. When he looked outside, he only saw pitch black. A song started playing through the radio. He knew this song, it was from home. What was the name? Suddenly,  they started moving swiftly towards him. He ducked and curled up, hidden in the dark. He waited, for a while it seemed. It was dead quiet, but he could hear the song. Then he remembered the name, "Edward": his betrayer.  And they were at his feet. 

PART 2: https://soundcloud.com/moekim/part-2-acceptance


NOTES: 
This song was an early acoustic demo of my song "The Problem" on EP1. I was trying to do weird stuff with my music at that time, and so that's how that weird sounding song on my first EP came to be. But looking back I think I much prefer the sound of this one, and the lofi aesthetic always brings some nostalgia. 

So I'm exploring with some short form storytelling. I just made up those words. Anyhow these will be works in progress, but I can put them out in between my usual songs to keep content going. Artwork to come soon. I hope you enjoy.

Part 1: The Betrayer

Part 2: Acceptance

He was running out of air. The ship was falling apart. Did the beacon make it through the atmosphere? It won't matter, they’ll be back for him anyways. As his oxygen dropped to critically low levels, he started having the most vivid dreams. He went back to that cold November day, at the park next to the river. He was with them, and it was all he ever wanted. He accepted his fate, and with his last breaths he whispered: 

I don't need to see it. 
I just wanna know 
If you really made it
Where you wanna go
Maybe you will sing it
From your tiny desk
What it doesn't matter
Just live out your best

NOTES: 
I recorded this clip in 5/2023. I hadn't made any music for several years, and was struggling to re-record Ask or Tell. One evening this chorus came to me and I loved how it sounded immediately. I tried to record a full song out of it, but it didn't ever feel the same, so I never completed it. I think it fits in this format better. Thanks for listening.

Part 2: Acceptance

This is the loud version of this song. It's about those conversations that you have in your head, but never out loud. Sometimes they are about other people, and sometimes they are with yourself. Sometimes they make sense, and sometimes they don't. Others make you laugh, and others make you cry. But they are all you, and it's OK to have them. Wherever they take you, please try to remember that you are loved and important to someone <3

I made two versions, depending on the mood that you are feeling. This is the loud rock version. I had fun making it. :D

Didn't

If it didn’t matter then
Why did you let go slow
Maybe you don’t mean it
And you want me to
Let you know

If it didn’t matter
Then why did you 
Burn those letters
That I wrote for you
But I would too
Because they were 
Long and boring 
To tell the truth

If it didn’t matter then 
Why did you say I’d better
Be taking good care of them
Of course I would be, I’m a jerk
Not a monster and those cats 
Are my daughter’s
And I love how they got her
And they’ll always sleep on me 

If it didn’t matter then
Why did you say she’s better
Off without me
But you never said that
but I did… to myself…

I did it again
It’s just something I do
But it’s not who I am
I’m a man, not a monster
And those cats are my daughters
And I love how they got her
And they love me to bother
And eat all of my pizza
And they’ll always sleep on me

If it didn’t matter then
Why did you
Say the weather reminded
Of you of that one day
When we stopped the car
because the rain

Didn't (loud)

This is the quiet version of the song. It's about those conversations you have in your head, that you never say out loud. Sometimes they are about other people, and sometimes they are about yourself. Sometimes they make sense, and sometimes they don't. Others make you laugh, and others make you cry. But they are all you, and it's OK to have them. Wherever they take you, please try to remember that you are loved and important to someone <3

I made two versions, depending on the mood that you are feeling. Sometimes we need to some nice quiet acoustic guitar :D

Didn't
If it didn’t matter then
Why did you let go slow
Maybe you don’t mean it
And you want me to
Let you know

If it didn’t matter
Then why did you
Burn those letters
That I wrote for you
But I would too
Because they were
Long and boring
To tell the truth

If it didn’t matter then
Why did you say I’d better
Be taking good care of them
Of course I would be, I’m a jerk
Not a monster and those cats
Are my daughter’s
And I love how they got her
And they’ll always sleep on me

If it didn’t matter then
Why did you say she’s better
Off without me
But you never said that
but I did… to myself…

I did it again
It’s just something I do
But it’s not who I am
I’m a man, not a monster
And those cats are my daughters
And I love how they got her
And they love me to bother
And eat all of my pizza
And they’ll always sleep on me

If it didn’t matter then
Why did you
Say the weather reminded
Of you of that one day
When we stopped the car
because the rain

Didn't (quiet)

I made this song for my dog Sebastian some time after he died. I think it was around 2021. The picture was from much earlier, around 2016. He was a good friend. That day, we were at a park and I got tired, so I went to rest underneath this shelter. My wife and our other dog Lady had gone on ahead, and he walked out there with them a bit, but then came back and we sat for a while. It felt like a special moment, so I took this picture. I'm glad for the good times we had. No matter what happens, we can be glad for what we had together. 

If this song reminds you of someone you lost, please feel free to share in message or comments. I may not be able to respond immediately (mainly because I'm at work), but I most certainly will later, as I read all my messages. Take care, my SC friends! Thank you for all of the support. Your love and encouragement has helped me get better. I appreciate you all ❤️



Sebastian's Song

Do you remember that fall day
In the park where we would play
The girls had walked on easily
But you came back and sat with me 

Oh free..

I always thought you'd stay the same
But every year would bring some change
And after the third surgery
In your eyes you longed to be oh

Oh free..
Hey!

Now you wander aimlessly
Since your eyes can barely see
I'll be the one so you will know
We are best friends

Oh free..
Hey!

I’m thankful that we found you
When she dreamt that afternoon
And they told us you lost your home
So we brought you to our own
Though you’ve gone beyond the blue          
Every fall I think of you

Oh free..
Hey.

Sebastian's Song

This song is for you, and the person who can never see you for who you are. Maybe they don't agree with who you hang out with. Maybe they don't like the music you listen to or the clothes you wear. Maybe they don't like who you live with, or who you voted for, or what you do for a living. Well, we don't care about any of those things. We appreciate you for who you are, so forget about them, and come listen to some cool music. 😎
Special thanks to @julia-gromskaya-385505773 for helping with the arrangement! She has her debut song coming out soon!

Blue Jeans

You came down the stairs to where I was
I showed you things that I had done
Then we played that song that you had loved
In that summer on the bus
It was hot
it was great
And those blue jeans were the craze
Then you stopped and felt the shame
You closed off and left to pray

So you’ll never know the real me
You only believe what you cannot see
Missing everything that’s real and free
Hoarding your gold for heaven’s streets

A few months later we are at your house
I shared a song I wrote out loud
But all you said, to fill the void,
Was “you’ll never make it with your voice”
I was shot
Full of hate
Tore those blue jeans just to say
That my love began to fade
But you forgot and went to pray

So you’ll never know the real me
You only believe what you cannot see
Missing everything that’s real and free
Hoarding your gold for heaven’s streets
But what if I'm wrong?

You came down the stairs to where I was
I showed you everything I loved
And we talked for miles and lost the days
It didn't matter what was faith
It was fun
It was great 
And our blue jeans were the craze
Then this dream began to fade
I woke up and walked away

So you’ll never know the real me
You only will see what you want to see
Missing everything that's real and free
Living your lies religiously

Blue Jeans

Hi everyone! While I make some finishing touches on the next song, I have an old one from 20 years ago. It was one of the first compositions I made. I had no idea what I was doing (still have no idea) and so I just followed the feeling. I made it around August of 2004 and it was recorded using the mic from an old school logitech headset, so it was actually lofi. At the time I had just started medical school, and the summer before it was probably the best summer I've ever had. I made some new friends and we had a lot of fun. I was feeling a lot of hope, a little bit of love, and some homesickness after I went back to study. So that's what that's about. Thanks for listening!

Summer 2004 (instrumental)

This is for you, and the person you love. This is for those times you've cherished, and the times you've hated. This is for the regrets that keep you up, and the trauma that has broken generations. This is for everything you could have been, and everything you wish they were. 

I have been trying to write this song for the past year. I didn't feel confident enough to sing about it until now. The characters in my last song (Blue Jeans) and this one are the same. Thank you, my friends at SC, for your kindness and encouragement for me these past two years. I was broken, but your acceptance helped me build the confidence to became a better person and musician <3

Special thanks to @julia-gromskaya-385505773 for helping me with this song. She has her very first song coming out Dec 27th. We will be doing more work together in the future, so please follow!

Sons

The night goes on
I've gotta get back
‘cause you love your mom
But it makes her sad
‘Cause you’re at the top
Of your class
But the war goes on
Just ask your dad

I don’t know if you will be alright
Your dad is drunk and he wants to fight
Just don't go, just don't go home for me tonight
You'll take his worst and you won't even cry
So they can sleep hard without a fright
There's nothing no one can do
But I'm here for you tonight 

Now you’ve grown up
You work with your hands
You love your child
But not like your dad
He showed you his anger
Then he handed it down
So you don't need fists
When words hit like sticks

I don’t know if you will be alright
Your daddy’s drunk, and he wants to fight
Just don't go, just don't go home for me tonight
You took his worst and you won't even cry
But now you dream of it every time
I don't know what I can do
But I'm here for you tonight

I don't know if we can be alright
Our hand was dealt long before my time
But I know for love we’ll always try
You took the worst and you wear it pride
I took yours too but I know I'll be fine 
 The anger dies with me tonight

Sons (acoustic)

12/6/25: New track is out out! Hope you all like it, hopefully more content to come soon!

Moe Kim is middle-aged man who doesn't usually refer to himself in the third person. In another life he was a surgeon but left the field because he got really tired and needed some rest. Now he has more time to record music, which is way more fun than living at the hospital.

Moe Kim

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