I typed the word "song"
But my phone autocorrected it to "dong"
But maybe that's what I've wanted all along

The Dong Song

[This is a gibberish song, a part of which I actually do sing to my dog at random]
Max, you attack with stacks of flax
Oh the unreasonable taxes in Texas
Ohhhh
Butthole in the butthole

Max (That's My Dog)

[This is an adaptation of a gibberish song I'd sing to myself when I was alone. I don't know why.]

You can poop on my face
You can defecate anywhere (2x)
You can do anything you please
Unless you have got to pee
Then you can urinate anywhere
Except my beautiful face and beautiful hair

You Can Poop On My Face (You Can Defecate Anywhere)

From your hole to your sack
From your front to your back
It's your perineum

What's up with perineums?
No one talks about perineums.
I wrote a song about perineums.
Perineums.

Perineum: Act III

Punk Rock Perineum

P-P-P-Perineum

Chins
Chins
Butt chins
Chins
This goes out to all the butt chins
And the chins lacking buttocks defining features
[pained] Chins!

Chin Lovin'

[I figured if people are going to fetishize a flag, you might as well go whole hog on the thing]

Got a girl back home, don't need another
She's like a brother and a sister in one lover
She's big, she's red, she's a rectangle
She's the southern equivalent of the star-spangled

And I don't mean to brag
But I'm in love with the confederate flag

When I feel down I go down on that flag
Have us a good ol' patriotic shag
And if things get extra hot and heavy
Well we just have us a threesome with a Chevy

Love her so much it should be a sin
Makes my south rise again and again

Moist Grandpa

Popular tracks