with your permission, 
i want to fall into you, gracefully and with ease. 
without your catch, this falling is rocky. 
we are more than a rock and a hard place, 
but some days, life is full of boulders. 
and falling into you 
would be an act of self care i have not yet touched, 
a vulnerability i cannot hide from. 
(this too frightens the darkest of my demons.)
and on the quietest nights, 
when all is still, but the hum of slumbers, 
i am cradled by the rhythm of you. 
sometimes peaceful, like tonight, other times more boastful. 
it always has the sweet scent 
of potentially being a home. 

am i a homemaker here? 

with your permission, 
if you dare to dream,
out loud and in technicolor,

may i lean into you?

permission [rough]

my Black is heavy. 
my queer is heavy. 
my womanhood is heavy. 
my femininity is heavy. 
my capricorn is heavy. 
my desire to win is heavy. 
my fear of failure is heavy. 
my pain is heavy. 
my depression is heavy. 
my dreams are heavy.
my love is heavy. 
my heart’s pieces are heavy. 
this vessel is heavy. 
my silence is heavy. 
the screams stuck in my throat are heavy. 
and yet,
i rose out of bed this morning. 
do not dare question 
where my strength comes from.

weight [rough]

a storyteller, created of moon dust, wrapped in love, dipped in light.

.moná.