Here it is, my first project after becoming monothrone. This is a 5 song, heavy hitting EP, where I talk about the current stage of my life; becoming something new, my perspective on things, my love life, and so on

Cover art by my brother

Enjoy,
Monothrone <3

Monothrone

Lyrics

I don’t wanna wait for life to fade away
I take in every moment from the night to the day
And everybody here believes that I’m okay
But we won’t truly be ‘till we’re all flying away

Live your life the way the lord gave it to you
Cause you only got one shot here, make the best out of you
Cause one day we all live eternal life
So when your time is up you will be there for a while

I know that I am a light in the dark
And I can see the wings of every dying heart
Wait for me in heaven, I don’t wanna be apart
And I know you’re not too far

I don’t wanna wait for life to fade away
I take in every moment from the night to the day
And everybody here believes that I’m okay
But we won’t truly be ‘till we’re all flying away

I don’t wanna wait for life to fade away
I take in every moment from the night to the day
And everybody here believes that I’m okay
But we won’t truly be ‘till we’re all flying away

we all have wings

Can you tell me why, when we go way back in time
I feel so alive I haven't felt this way since back in two thousand and nine
When it's twenty twenty nine will we be at our demise
Didn't have that thought in my head, you can't tell me that I'm fine
Or maybe I just miss when we did not rely on our device
Look down at the leaves on the ground instead of IG live
Losing hope in life and faith, God knows the reason why
And I just wish that we  could go way back in time again
But time is always flying
And I wish I knew that now before I turned nineteen
Back when I used to hate the rain but it now it's defining me
And maybe that is why I hate today, it has saddened me
I feel like left and right I'm losing everybody
Clearing out the path for me to walk by myself
Money coming in, but I'm not about greed and the hell that greed creates
I was happy back in 9th grade, with no money

I feel like I’m losing everything I love now
I feel like everyday I’m fading out now
Why all a sudden I wanna go back in time now
Why do I chase the past that’s chasing me to break down
I feel like I’m losing everything I love now
I feel like everyday I’m fading out now
Why all a sudden I wanna go back in time now
Why do I chase the past that’s chasing me to break down

I feel like I’m losing everything I love now
I feel like everyday I’m fading out now
Why all a sudden I wanna go back in time now
Why do I chase the past that’s chasing me to break down

Y2000

Remembered back when I was 16
Sang for a whole crowd up on stage
These times way back, I wish I could leave
But I know it’s the reason I became me
Used to cut my hair down to impress
Now I let it fall down to cover that I depress
You won’t understand, why I hate myself
Look me in the eyes, you will see all the hell

Life created for me, 2023 recently
Been nothing but a tragedy, and honestly I can't sleep
Knowing this is all for real, this is permanent
In my head it put a dent, it's become a mess
But there's no going back, this is present tense
That's why when I look behind me there's no audience
But you see the ones who helped you make big I guess
You gotta see the ones who cheer for you, look ahead

You know you made it big when you hear everybody yelling
I hope you're happy when you broke me, now nobody's helping
When I was sad you just left, how will I be different
You played your hand too early, I just waited, now I'm winning
I may not be big yet but honestly it's obvious
I have a passion for these songs, I have dedication
Now my songs are being put in all your playlists
But what if I feel less like a person and more an artist

I don’t want people to beg and worship
That’s too much stress, I’m not a pleaser, honestly I’m selfish
Why would I hurt myself for others they got nothing to give
I’d rather free myself than free a killer locked in prison
Maybe I don’t know how they live but
Honestly they don’t know mine at all, that makes it even
Maybe I do not open up because they always dip
Always smile through the pain, break it once I’m negative

Honestly it just isn’t worth, making you carry that burden
It hurts us both that’s for certain, now you see under the curtain
Up on stage got a smile, in the backstage I’m cryin’
But I still love performing, After all I was chasing
Looking for something to life for, and that money and fame
It ain’t mean nothing to me, and I just feel irrelevant
To anyone I surround myself with, but now I live for
Something greater and bigger, now I’m on my knees for Jesus . . .

[OUTRO (x4)]
In the middle of a stage
Lost so many on the way
I wish I could let you stay
But I just want to feel okay

STAGE

I just woke up from a nightmare of the past
I'm still stuck, how come I cannot surpass
My eyes shut, everything's fading to black
Is this the end, cyber's taking over

I feel dead, the virtual engraved
Transmit cells, my circulating brain
All that's left, wired feel like Lain
Lost true self, just robotic pain

I am wired I'm walking down this path
And the shadow is stalking me
I am watching behind the wall
Demons talking about me
Dogs are barking at the door
Shadow figure is watching me
People gossiping about me
Trying to stop me but I’ll not

Let them walk all over me
They do nothing but repeat
And they have no way to feel
They just act like NPC’s
The illusion of humanity (The illusion of human-)

Cut its throat, there's no blood, just oil spill
Lifeless, we are all blue pilled
Meta terrorization kills
I am in a blackout
Unconscious I am fading out
Electric waves are getting loud
What is this wired world about

I feel dead, the virtual engraved
Transmit cells, my circulating brain
All that's left, wired feel like Lain
Lost true self, just robotic pain
Soon the brain leaves the body, it is deadweight
Is it heaven or is it just a lost hope in fate
See a nightmare when i black out, I can see a gate
Or do I wake up and realize everything is fake

BLACKOUT

I wake up, the virtual wires surrounding me
Casting blue screen of death on hundreds of TV’s
I try to get up but something weighs down my body
Lookin at the clouds in the sky getting glitchy
The past is catching up to me, corruption of defeat
Regrets take away my sleep, this hole I dug too deep
The past is catching up to me, corruption of defeat
Regrets take away my sleep, this hole I dug too deep

I can see a light in the sky but it dimmins
Cause I’m following the way back and I wasn’t listening
Hope you understand why I do not miss the times of old
It’s just full of corruption it’s nothing but a black hole
I despise this entire dimension
Wasting time in the past is what I did
Build up a gate to block the path that takes my soul
I become a figure, my eyes becoming null

CORRUPTION

I can only walk forward theres no looking back
Every time I look back everything is a blur
All mistakes and rough times changed me way too fast
All the times I've been stepped on and put in the dirt
Too afraid to open up cause they all leave fast
And when I fall in love, feels like nothing but a curse
But when I look at my old self I always laugh
Cause I'm never proud of that anyway he's a blur

Just leave me alone
I do not condone
Imma drive alone
Mazda on the road
Then I go home
On my phone
You blow up my phone
And I tell you no
I just don't
Wanna talk no more
Imma be alone
By myself
Suffering this hell
Feeling more depressed
Do not press
Worry bout yourself
Evil spell
Tryana fight it off
Too far gone I'm not
I'm not dead at all

Looking at the road ahead, it's nothing but a fire
But I know if I look behind that's following desire
I don't wanna follow you, you're nothing but a liar
Call me narcissistic, yeah that's me I'm with the higher
You just chasing drugs, yeah you just want to get higher
But you drag yourself to hell you burn in the fire
Yeah I'm still depressed, but I pull through, I'm a fighter
But I'm not being fake, this is me, I'm the writer

BLUR (prod. Lil Biz)

Ill wait for my time to fade away
The void when you look in my eyes, struggle day by day
Light flares in the sky, leading me the way
But I keep looking back at all the hate
Sometimes I just wish to make it end
But I know if I do, I won't make it to the after realm
And I just wanna be free from hell
And I'm on my knees for God cause he's the only way out this realm

I do not want a life of misery
So I just used to think ending it early makes me rest in peace
But when I talked to God I dropped down to my knees
He didn't tell me do so but this was an opportunity
For me to finally be free
He made my life hell so it wasn't once I leaved
Most people brush it off and say that means he isn't real
And there's too many people criticizing my beliefs

I'm just a person like you
I know that I'm imperfect but that makes us two
You can't act like you're better cause I see right through
You hide all of your sin, not a path that i would choose
I hate me and I hate you
You told me I will be okay but now we're losing touch
Now I left for this music getting booted up
I'm like a shining light call me Illumina

I just want to crawl out of the dark
Why does heaven feel so far
I just want to crawl out of the dark
Why does heaven feel so far
I just want to crawl out of the dark
Why does heaven feel so far
I just want to crawl out of the dark
Why does heaven feel so far

[PART 2]

Remember back when I was suicidal
Thought of picking up the gun rather than the bible
But it wasn't my self-consciousness
It was the demons in my head, all of them are liars
But lemme make myself blunt
Just go on and live, don't be tempted by the gun
And when you're with your homies don't be tempted by the blunt
Just look above at Jesus he's the one that truly loves

I know I'll die one day
So why end it now, why throw it all to waste
I still have a lot to do so I'm gonna stay
And fight all of the demons just to clear my way
I hate me and I hate you
You told me I will be okay but now we're losing touch
Now I left for this music getting booted up
I'm like a shining light call me Illumina

I just want to crawl out of the dark
Why does heaven feel so far
I just want to crawl out of the dark
Why does heaven feel so far
I just want to crawl out of the dark
Why does heaven feel so far
I just want to crawl out of the dark
Why does heaven feel so far

ILLUMINA

Like a nova, jump up high
Just to realize you have no wings attached to fly
So you fall off of the map when your ego dies
Making way for the king, so you sit and bow while watching him rise

Everybody knows you peaked
I see the evil that you bleed
So arrogant you couldn’t even sleep
And now it’s your turn to bow down to be

I have no emotion
I just want to feel something (x4)

Why does noone understand when I say that I'm okay
Used to think of suicide back in 8th grade
Heart is broken and I just wanna have faith
And you make fun of me for what I believe
And boy I hate you for that curse you put on me
Always in my head it's like a fight with the beast
I was blinded but now I really see

NOVA

Burning The Bridges Of My Demonic Ways

~ MUSIC VIDEO ~
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_IUXP8bhQN0

- self prod.

[Verse 1]

Downward despair I can’t follow the flare
Losing my faith and my body i tear
Slice into bits yelling life isn't fair
Say i'm happy without you but look where I am
I refused to bow that's a dare
I try to climb up but i fall down the stairs
Devil is looking at me with a glare
I feel like our souls are combined in a pair

Im breathing in the air
Flames burning everywhere
My body slump it’ll wear
Too fed up I cannot take
Shoot my own brains and throw in the waste
That is the meaning of life without faith
Do what he says, or you gonna wait
And witness the wrath, of death you had laid

Look in my eyes tell me this is my fate
Deny the higher ups turn into blank
Time turning midnight, time is a waste
Once it hits midnight go run away
Look in my eyes tell me this is my fate
Deny the higher ups turn into blank
Time turning midnight, time is a waste
Once it hits midnight go run away

I cannot give anymore of my heart to you
I cannot live with the thought of being a fool
I cannot give anymore of my heart to you
I cannot live with the thought of being a fool

[Verse 2]

Falling from faith we will be okay
As they said down below, i'm a hollow wraith
And i fell for the bait, turning into blank
As i stare down the barrel of a gun with no blanks
This aint russian roulette this a guaranteed fate
All the times that you spent it was all just fake
Now you living with regret hope you know you gon pay
12am time to run this aint a game

He smiles as you the one frightened in the chase
Now he got the upper hand, while you fall in disgrace
You lay down as you stare right into the face
Of death, the one that got you in this game

You sold out for fame but you turned into a lame
If i lose my path then i'm going insane
Well ive lost my path i dont have another way
Everyday im stuck doing everything the same

So you look into my eyes tell me this is my fate
But you are just a joke you dont have another say
I'm losing my connection i don’t need your hate
Cause you the single reason i feel like im losing faith
So you look into my eyes tell me this is my fate
But you are just a joke you dont have another say
I'm losing my connection i don’t need your hate
Cause you the single reason i feel like im losing faith
So you look into my eyes tell me this is my fate
But you are just a joke you dont have another say
I'm losing my connection i don’t need your hate
Cause you the single reason i feel like im losing faith
So you look into my eyes tell me this is my fate
But you are just a joke you dont have another say
I'm losing my connection i don’t need your hate
Cause you the single reason i feel like im losing faith

Blank Midnight

I'm walking with the sin I let in
Possessed by the curse embedded
Look outside i see my life, horrific
I see the path of nothing that I’m headed
Making out with death himself your lips, redded
See all of your beauty but inside you’re lead
And if you were to ask me I’d be better dead
You will never strip me from the love that’s left in me

I am just a sinner
Lone horrific sinner
I am not a winner
I’m the devil’s dinner
I am just a sinner
Lone horrific sinner
I am not a winner
I’m the devil’s dinner

I am just a sinner
Looking at my nothing reflection by the river
Punch me in the face and degrade me by the mirror
Self sabotaging but i will not ever fear none

I am just a sinner
Lone horrific sinner
I am not a winner
I’m the devil’s dinner
I am just a sinner
Lone horrific sinner
I am not a winner
I’m the devil’s dinner

I don't want to live in a world of sin
But I am giving in right to the ditch
Look at me I'm a horrific sin
Look at me Im nothing but deadweight

Horrific Sin

This life means nothing anymore
This life means nothing anymore
This life means nothing anymore
This life means nothing anymore

Why try what’s the point, say I don’t need your hand
But I know I am lost, you know I’m not okay
Burn inside, where's my mind, I don’t know what to say
But you still reach inside, in the fires I’ve made

What i wanna feel inside Ill never feel pain
My eyes left the sight of God I’ll only feel shame
Tell me am i worth saving, can I find your grace, Tell me when I break in will i leave these chains
Tell me am i worth saving, can I find your grace, Tell me when I break in will i leave these chains

This life means nothing anymore
This life means nothing anymore
This life means nothing anymore
This life means nothing anymore

The Nothingness

What is life without peace of mind
Endless cycle of life
Do the same thing until i die
But im falling deeper into my demise
Every single day its harder to reach
Is loving worth the wait or should I just leave
It’s like another hole that i dug too deep
If I give you my heart will I know how to feel

Lost hope in love, an endless suicycle
Give you my heart, so please keep it safe this time
Give it my all, will you break the cycle
Suicide hearts, get lost in my mind

Twist my words and make it to your own worth
2 years I said Im going solo
I learned that love isnt zero
Under gods hands but i carry a gun
Thinking should i end it but the battle isnt done
Only felt hate, i thought that i was gone
Until i found your arms, I need some time to trust

Lost hope in love, an endless suicycle
Give you my heart, so please keep it safe this time
Give it my all, will you break the cycle
Suicide hearts, get lost in my mind

God please give me your arms
I will be standing tall for you
I will give you my heart
I know you hear my calls
God please give me your arms
I will be standing tall for you
I will give you my heart
I know you hear my calls

Suicide Hearts

Look into my eyes
Before I fall from sight
Broke out of my deadly mind
I wont fall from suicide
I know Im not right
So lord give me time
While I am still alive
I will fight until i die out
I come so far ill break out of this shell that holds me down
I cannot give up on you, I am bound to you

Lord i need your light
And everything i want to feel inside
Is stored inside your heart so please me mine
I spill the bloody wine, so say you are mine
Lord i need your light
And everything i want to feel inside
Is stored inside your heart so please me mine
I spill the bloody wine, so say you are mine

Look back, life full of blasphemy
Demons fall they are dead to me
Detached, but you come back to me
Im crawling back to find peace
Look at me i haven't given up
I am me i am a slave to none
What I need, is you and only you
With you i cannot lose

I cannot lose
I will fall down for nobody
I don't know what else to do
When i see you before me
I won't give up on you
I found the light in you

I can see your signs
I want you to be mine, give me some of your time
I spill the bloody wine for you to turn into life
I can’t see a disguise am i in luck this time
I am alive but born to die

God wait for me
Done with suffering
I know I can’t believe
But you’re next to me
This love can’t be real

Lord i need your light
And everything i want to feel inside
Is stored inside your heart so please me mine
I spill the bloody wine, so say you are mine
Lord i need your light
And everything i want to feel inside
Is stored inside your heart so please me mine
I spill the bloody wine, so say you are mine

Bloody Wine

We all live to die
We all live to die
We all live to die

Make this time last eternally
Leave this Earth then I'll live in peace
Give my heart when our two souls meet
You must die, memento mori
Fall in love hope it will find peace
Ill protect you have faith in me
But I am not perfect I am not a deity
I hope when the time comes that you trust in me

Life is memento mori
Don't forget that you will leave
Dig the graves and make a deal
Don't let your life end deceived

Did I make my life worthwhile
Will you take me as im dying
Promise that I made is dire
Hope i fulfilled entirely
Did I make my life worthwhile
Will you take me as im dying
Promise that I made is dire
Hope i fulfilled entirely

I will die
Tell me why

Tell me what i see
Memento mori
I dont need no sleep
If this world im gonna leave
I just wanna live in violence i just wanna bleed
Hurting myself in the worst ways till i finally reach

Memento Mori

On the path that leads to nothing
Knowing I need something
To get me out of these magic strings
If i forget my will
Then I'm done living a good life
Please throw me in the abyss
I’ll live

Before the chaos strikes
I want to wish you well
And when it is our time
I will see you in hell

Tell me why would you try falling into all the lies
Hes the one to help me rise, to my demons say goodbye


This is the time i see the light
When i know, it’s all a dream it don’t feel right
Cause i know, its too good to be in my life
When i see your eyes i cannot look inside
So take my arms and show me that you mean right
I am all that will remain the rest of this time
So before I go insane please show me the times
That I missed, while putting myself into destruction

I'm making myself a death bed
As i lay my faith to rest
God if you hear me right now
Know that I’m going to suffer without you

Before The Chaos

All I see, is jealousy inside of me
The ones that live a life of peace
And pray they crumble down
Blasphemy, come and sing and dance with me
Till our hearts no longer reach
Our love is falling out

Haunting our minds cursed by a bloody knife
Lets see inside my heart, its emptiness inside
I almost lost to suicide
But I know I’m not ready to die
I know the Devil’s already real
So there must be light inside

I know the Devil’s already real
So there must be light inside
I know the Devil’s already real
So there must be light inside

All I see, is jealousy inside of me
The ones that live a life of peace
And pray they crumble down
Blasphemy, come and sing and dance with me
Till our hearts no longer reach
Our love is falling out

Haunt us all with your lies
Your love is suicide (repeat)

All I see, is jealousy inside of me
The ones that live a life of peace
And pray they crumble down
Blasphemy, come and sing and dance with me
Till our hearts no longer reach
Our love is falling out


I will leave behind my worth
Lie to me when our souls merge
I will leave behind my worth
Lie to me when our souls merge
I will leave behind my worth
Lie to me when our souls merge
I will leave behind my worth
Lie to me when our souls merge

I promise eternity
If you listen to me
I will not let you leave

Love is more than what it seems
Why do I shed these tears
I know I have a reason

Haunted

Run
Fore it all
Goes crashing down
And takes you out

To end with a gun
The temptation runs
The world was dead and gone
When the devil took his spot
My head spills out blood
To life that we run
There ain't nothing in love
If you end up in the deadly star

Get on your knees and break your arms
No longer need them but you're doomed to fall
Now bow your head, loyalty to none
You passive scum, time to bring the flood

Drown
Innocence love
Will leave you in doubt
Believing in none
I’m spiraling down

Spiraling down
Sacrificed by deadly star
I’ve broken down
Nothing left, but fragile arms
Spiraling down
Sacrificed by deadly star
I’ve broken down
Nothing left, but fragile arms

Falling, drowning, hopelessness
Loving, praying, faithlessness

Spiraling down
Sacrificed by deadly star
I’ve broken down
Nothing left, but fragile arms
Spiraling down
Sacrificed by deadly star
I’ve broken down
Nothing left, but fragile arms

I'm Not Dead Yet

Lost in my world that I dug
Blinded by the spirits I’m stuck
I am running out of luck
Can’t escape when I run

I went through hell and back I’m not alive
If someone told you it’s luck then they lied
Live in your comfort and love till you die
You will have done nothing good with your life
Time moving way too quickly
Time to move from what’s left me

Lost in my world that I dug
Blinded by the spirits I’m stuck
I am running out of luck
Can’t escape when I run
Lost in my world that I dug
Blinded by the spirits I’m stuck
I am running out of luck
Can’t escape when I run

Too many years that I tried
When is the day I know why
I want to sit home and cry
Sleep with a knife thinking when is my time

[Alternate chorus] (Piano pattern 3)
I want to disconnect my brain from life
Dear my old self I guess this is goodbye
I want to disconnect my brain from life
Dear my old self I guess this is goodbye

dear my old self

I dont deserve no throne
I will never be a king
Always trying to seek hope
But I always let em in

I am suffering too much

Je ne veux pas voire toi
Je vais compter à trois
Avant ta mort, supplies moi!
Qui tu veux être moi
Je déteste le tourment
Je veux élever à dieu
Je ne suis pas un dieu
Pourquoi tu copies moi

Tu ne va jamais être moi

Tourment à ascension
Tu es très imprudent
Vente ans d'aveuglement
Et j’ai suivie ils pensent
Tourment à ascension
Tu es très imprudent
Vente ans d'aveuglement
Et j’ai suivie ils pensent

Depuis torment dans quoi j’adore
J’étais autrefois suicidaire

torment into ascension

Idols waste of my time
I know they mean nothing
I hope i don't feel desire
Anymore

How many times did i say i don't want you
Hold on till my grip gets loose
Sometimes don't know what to choose
I envy

I am holding on as you leave
Your grip feels a noose around my wrist that leaves me outside any reach (repeat till end)

unreachable

Throughout time I've always had idols growing up. People I took inspiration from. A lot of those were musicians and just famous celebrities that I looked up to. I'd be lying if I said a lot of those weren’t the reason I started making music, and uploading, or even just learning how to sing. And part of that inspiration meant, copying their style, wanting to be just like them. I’ve always said I wanted to be myself, and do my own thing, but without admitting it, I was falling into the pit of trying to be like all these people, who may not even be what we make them out to be. Now while I do acknowledge a lot of their music still, I don’t really even listen to them nearly as much as i used to. I feel like music is about who you are as a person, but I don’t feel the need to be, trying to be up there with them or something like that. They don't even know my existence, and even if I got the chance to meet them I would just be forgotten. God humbled me alot in my journey. I used to think that I was better than everyone and one day I would rule this earth, but I quickly realized just how miniscule of a human being I am. So many flaws and so many places to be. I’m no longer here to show people I’m better. I just want to live in a world of peace, no matter how much struggle it takes to get there. Thank you. I have found the truth.

i no longer envy

Pourquoi as-tu trahis moi
Pourquoi as-tu trahis moi

Tu apportes mort
Tu apportes fleur
Morte

De temps en temps le mort est je veux
Je sans le mort de loin
I know that you just wanna save my life
But i'm given a sinful life
Wasted on the lust that get me high
Faced it, but i feel it my demise
Wasted on the lust that get me high
Faced it, but i feel it my demise

Finalement, je vais mourir
Vais-je renaître, overcome desire

We are dead, we are dead, we are dead, we are dead
We are all so dead, we are all so dead

fleur_morte

Two Faced Galore

ORIGINAL SONG BY SAWTOWNE - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sV2H712ldOI
Cover art by Carissa (aka my girlfriend : D )

Confessions of a Rotten Girl [METAL COVER]

~ Thank you @aftcedkhity (@codyab) for being a part of this track ~

Praise me like I made it big but both us can’t live in full
You act like you better than the rest cause you’re delusional
I can never say my worth cause nobody will ever know
Stack em on a pedestal and watch em knock over their thrones

Promise me you’ll make it through the end of time
In a rising dead invasion taking all our lives
Taking medicine and praying that the burden dies
Drunk off all your love a deadly mix like bourbon wine

Your heart spills out blood while mine stills out red dye
All the fake inside this ego that can’t even cry
Whats the difference between Jekyll inside me and Hyde
One is full of lies the other one just likes to hide

Im the shining light illumina I'm like a shooting star
I come out from anywhere these people ain’t leaving no scars
Im the shining light illumina I'm like a shooting star
I come out from anywhere these people ain’t leaving no scars

Losing myself in the room of stars
Drinking so much that I fell into the dark
Knock myself out cause I ran outta luck
I just wanna find the meaning of self love
I would rather hang onto
Somebody else but I know I’ll lose
Keep hanging on till I find a noose
Now I’m stuck and there’s no meaning

If you fall right back then you’ll just start seething
Glory starts from acknowledging
I know you can’t see it through your eyelids

And there aint no stopping
Life is always gonna have some hardship
Follow the stars and you’ll start reaching
I know the angels can sound deceiving

Im the shining light illumina I'm like a shooting star
I come out from anywhere these people ain’t leaving no scars
Im the shining light illumina I'm like a shooting star
I come out from anywhere these people ain’t leaving no scars

Shooting Stars (prod. Aftced)

Nothing to say yet
Just enjoy the music so far <3

Monothrone

Pinned to spotlight

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