Liberating my mind, body, and soul, no longer bound to be a certain someone

Tragedy Of Persona

I can only walk forward theres no looking back
Every time I look back everything is a blur
All mistakes and rough times changed me way too fast
All the times I've been stepped on and put in the dirt
Too afraid to open up cause they all leave fast
And when I fall in love, feels like nothing but a curse
But when I look at my old self I always laugh
Cause I'm never proud of that anyway he's a blur

Just leave me alone
I do not condone
Imma drive alone
Mazda on the road
Then I go home
On my phone
You blow up my phone
And I tell you no
I just don't
Wanna talk no more
Imma be alone
By myself
Suffering this hell
Feeling more depressed
Do not press
Worry bout yourself
Evil spell
Tryana fight it off
Too far gone I'm not
I'm not dead at all

Looking at the road ahead, it's nothing but a fire
But I know if I look behind that's following desire
I don't wanna follow you, you're nothing but a liar
Call me narcissistic, yeah that's me I'm with the higher
You just chasing drugs, yeah you just want to get higher
But you drag yourself to hell you burn in the fire
Yeah I'm still depressed, but I pull through, I'm a fighter
But I'm not being fake, this is me, I'm the writer

BLUR (prod. Lil Biz)

Burning The Bridges Of My Demonic Ways

~ MUSIC VIDEO ~
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_IUXP8bhQN0

- self prod.

[Verse 1]

Downward despair I can’t follow the flare
Losing my faith and my body i tear
Slice into bits yelling life isn't fair
Say i'm happy without you but look where I am
I refused to bow that's a dare
I try to climb up but i fall down the stairs
Devil is looking at me with a glare
I feel like our souls are combined in a pair

Im breathing in the air
Flames burning everywhere
My body slump it’ll wear
Too fed up I cannot take
Shoot my own brains and throw in the waste
That is the meaning of life without faith
Do what he says, or you gonna wait
And witness the wrath, of death you had laid

Look in my eyes tell me this is my fate
Deny the higher ups turn into blank
Time turning midnight, time is a waste
Once it hits midnight go run away
Look in my eyes tell me this is my fate
Deny the higher ups turn into blank
Time turning midnight, time is a waste
Once it hits midnight go run away

I cannot give anymore of my heart to you
I cannot live with the thought of being a fool
I cannot give anymore of my heart to you
I cannot live with the thought of being a fool

[Verse 2]

Falling from faith we will be okay
As they said down below, i'm a hollow wraith
And i fell for the bait, turning into blank
As i stare down the barrel of a gun with no blanks
This aint russian roulette this a guaranteed fate
All the times that you spent it was all just fake
Now you living with regret hope you know you gon pay
12am time to run this aint a game

He smiles as you the one frightened in the chase
Now he got the upper hand, while you fall in disgrace
You lay down as you stare right into the face
Of death, the one that got you in this game

You sold out for fame but you turned into a lame
If i lose my path then i'm going insane
Well ive lost my path i dont have another way
Everyday im stuck doing everything the same

So you look into my eyes tell me this is my fate
But you are just a joke you dont have another say
I'm losing my connection i don’t need your hate
Cause you the single reason i feel like im losing faith
So you look into my eyes tell me this is my fate
But you are just a joke you dont have another say
I'm losing my connection i don’t need your hate
Cause you the single reason i feel like im losing faith
So you look into my eyes tell me this is my fate
But you are just a joke you dont have another say
I'm losing my connection i don’t need your hate
Cause you the single reason i feel like im losing faith
So you look into my eyes tell me this is my fate
But you are just a joke you dont have another say
I'm losing my connection i don’t need your hate
Cause you the single reason i feel like im losing faith

Blank Midnight

I'm walking with the sin I let in
Possessed by the curse embedded
Look outside i see my life, horrific
I see the path of nothing that I’m headed
Making out with death himself your lips, redded
See all of your beauty but inside you’re lead
And if you were to ask me I’d be better dead
You will never strip me from the love that’s left in me

I am just a sinner
Lone horrific sinner
I am not a winner
I’m the devil’s dinner
I am just a sinner
Lone horrific sinner
I am not a winner
I’m the devil’s dinner

I am just a sinner
Looking at my nothing reflection by the river
Punch me in the face and degrade me by the mirror
Self sabotaging but i will not ever fear none

I am just a sinner
Lone horrific sinner
I am not a winner
I’m the devil’s dinner
I am just a sinner
Lone horrific sinner
I am not a winner
I’m the devil’s dinner

I don't want to live in a world of sin
But I am giving in right to the ditch
Look at me I'm a horrific sin
Look at me Im nothing but deadweight

Horrific Sin

This life means nothing anymore
This life means nothing anymore
This life means nothing anymore
This life means nothing anymore

Why try what’s the point, say I don’t need your hand
But I know I am lost, you know I’m not okay
Burn inside, where's my mind, I don’t know what to say
But you still reach inside, in the fires I’ve made

What i wanna feel inside Ill never feel pain
My eyes left the sight of God I’ll only feel shame
Tell me am i worth saving, can I find your grace, Tell me when I break in will i leave these chains
Tell me am i worth saving, can I find your grace, Tell me when I break in will i leave these chains

This life means nothing anymore
This life means nothing anymore
This life means nothing anymore
This life means nothing anymore

The Nothingness

What is life without peace of mind
Endless cycle of life
Do the same thing until i die
But im falling deeper into my demise
Every single day its harder to reach
Is loving worth the wait or should I just leave
It’s like another hole that i dug too deep
If I give you my heart will I know how to feel

Lost hope in love, an endless suicycle
Give you my heart, so please keep it safe this time
Give it my all, will you break the cycle
Suicide hearts, get lost in my mind

Twist my words and make it to your own worth
2 years I said Im going solo
I learned that love isnt zero
Under gods hands but i carry a gun
Thinking should i end it but the battle isnt done
Only felt hate, i thought that i was gone
Until i found your arms, I need some time to trust

Lost hope in love, an endless suicycle
Give you my heart, so please keep it safe this time
Give it my all, will you break the cycle
Suicide hearts, get lost in my mind

God please give me your arms
I will be standing tall for you
I will give you my heart
I know you hear my calls
God please give me your arms
I will be standing tall for you
I will give you my heart
I know you hear my calls

Suicide Hearts

Take my hand cause we are one
Free my curse as I have fell
Look at what I have become
Bring me down let’s burn in hell

Were my words just enough
To get you on your feet and do what’s worth
My face is drowned in guilt
Regret of what I made
Pick me up, I'm losing touch
In the flames is where I love to be
Can’t climb back I need your lift
Wipe me from the man I made

Take my hand cause we are one
Free my curse as I have fell
Look at what I have become
Bring me down let’s burn in hell

Sometimes I wish I could go back in time
Cant find myself in the hell i’m inside
I’m crumbling, i have nowhere to hide
Seeing your face as i fall in the fire

I will see you one day
But for now i will suffer today

Take my hand cause we are one
Free my curse as I have fell
Look at what I have become
Bring me down let’s burn in hell

Let's Burn In Hell

Look into my eyes
Before I fall from sight
Broke out of my deadly mind
I wont fall from suicide
I know Im not right
So lord give me time
While I am still alive
I will fight until i die out
I come so far ill break out of this shell that holds me down
I cannot give up on you, I am bound to you

Lord i need your light
And everything i want to feel inside
Is stored inside your heart so please me mine
I spill the bloody wine, so say you are mine
Lord i need your light
And everything i want to feel inside
Is stored inside your heart so please me mine
I spill the bloody wine, so say you are mine

Look back, life full of blasphemy
Demons fall they are dead to me
Detached, but you come back to me
Im crawling back to find peace
Look at me i haven't given up
I am me i am a slave to none
What I need, is you and only you
With you i cannot lose

I cannot lose
I will fall down for nobody
I don't know what else to do
When i see you before me
I won't give up on you
I found the light in you

I can see your signs
I want you to be mine, give me some of your time
I spill the bloody wine for you to turn into life
I can’t see a disguise am i in luck this time
I am alive but born to die

God wait for me
Done with suffering
I know I can’t believe
But you’re next to me
This love can’t be real

Lord i need your light
And everything i want to feel inside
Is stored inside your heart so please me mine
I spill the bloody wine, so say you are mine
Lord i need your light
And everything i want to feel inside
Is stored inside your heart so please me mine
I spill the bloody wine, so say you are mine

Bloody Wine

We all live to die
We all live to die
We all live to die

Make this time last eternally
Leave this Earth then I'll live in peace
Give my heart when our two souls meet
You must die, memento mori
Fall in love hope it will find peace
Ill protect you have faith in me
But I am not perfect I am not a deity
I hope when the time comes that you trust in me

Life is memento mori
Don't forget that you will leave
Dig the graves and make a deal
Don't let your life end deceived

Did I make my life worthwhile
Will you take me as im dying
Promise that I made is dire
Hope i fulfilled entirely
Did I make my life worthwhile
Will you take me as im dying
Promise that I made is dire
Hope i fulfilled entirely

I will die
Tell me why

Tell me what i see
Memento mori
I dont need no sleep
If this world im gonna leave
I just wanna live in violence i just wanna bleed
Hurting myself in the worst ways till i finally reach

Memento Mori

On the path that leads to nothing
Knowing I need something
To get me out of these magic strings
If i forget my will
Then I'm done living a good life
Please throw me in the abyss
I’ll live

Before the chaos strikes
I want to wish you well
And when it is our time
I will see you in hell

Tell me why would you try falling into all the lies
Hes the one to help me rise, to my demons say goodbye


This is the time i see the light
When i know, it’s all a dream it don’t feel right
Cause i know, its too good to be in my life
When i see your eyes i cannot look inside
So take my arms and show me that you mean right
I am all that will remain the rest of this time
So before I go insane please show me the times
That I missed, while putting myself into destruction

I'm making myself a death bed
As i lay my faith to rest
God if you hear me right now
Know that I’m going to suffer without you

Before The Chaos

Run
Fore it all
Goes crashing down
And takes you out

To end with a gun
The temptation runs
The world was dead and gone
When the devil took his spot
My head spills out blood
To life that we run
There ain't nothing in love
If you end up in the deadly star

Get on your knees and break your arms
No longer need them but you're doomed to fall
Now bow your head, loyalty to none
You passive scum, time to bring the flood

Drown
Innocence love
Will leave you in doubt
Believing in none
I’m spiraling down

Spiraling down
Sacrificed by deadly star
I’ve broken down
Nothing left, but fragile arms
Spiraling down
Sacrificed by deadly star
I’ve broken down
Nothing left, but fragile arms

Falling, drowning, hopelessness
Loving, praying, faithlessness

Spiraling down
Sacrificed by deadly star
I’ve broken down
Nothing left, but fragile arms
Spiraling down
Sacrificed by deadly star
I’ve broken down
Nothing left, but fragile arms

I'm Not Dead Yet

Lost in my world that I dug
Blinded by the spirits I’m stuck
I am running out of luck
Can’t escape when I run

I went through hell and back I’m not alive
If someone told you it’s luck then they lied
Live in your comfort and love till you die
You will have done nothing good with your life
Time moving way too quickly
Time to move from what’s left me

Lost in my world that I dug
Blinded by the spirits I’m stuck
I am running out of luck
Can’t escape when I run
Lost in my world that I dug
Blinded by the spirits I’m stuck
I am running out of luck
Can’t escape when I run

Too many years that I tried
When is the day I know why
I want to sit home and cry
Sleep with a knife thinking when is my time

[Alternate chorus] (Piano pattern 3)
I want to disconnect my brain from life
Dear my old self I guess this is goodbye
I want to disconnect my brain from life
Dear my old self I guess this is goodbye

dear my old self

I dont deserve no throne
I will never be a king
Always trying to seek hope
But I always let em in

I am suffering too much

Je ne veux pas voire toi
Je vais compter à trois
Avant ta mort, supplies moi!
Qui tu veux être moi
Je déteste le tourment
Je veux élever à dieu
Je ne suis pas un dieu
Pourquoi tu copies moi

Tu ne va jamais être moi

Tourment à ascension
Tu es très imprudent
Vente ans d'aveuglement
Et j’ai suivie ils pensent
Tourment à ascension
Tu es très imprudent
Vente ans d'aveuglement
Et j’ai suivie ils pensent

Depuis torment dans quoi j’adore
J’étais autrefois suicidaire

torment into ascension

Idols waste of my time
I know they mean nothing
I hope i don't feel desire
Anymore

How many times did i say i don't want you
Hold on till my grip gets loose
Sometimes don't know what to choose
I envy

I am holding on as you leave
Your grip feels a noose around my wrist that leaves me outside any reach (repeat till end)

unreachable

Pourquoi as-tu trahis moi
Pourquoi as-tu trahis moi

Tu apportes mort
Tu apportes fleur
Morte

De temps en temps le mort est je veux
Je sans le mort de loin
I know that you just wanna save my life
But i'm given a sinful life
Wasted on the lust that get me high
Faced it, but i feel it my demise
Wasted on the lust that get me high
Faced it, but i feel it my demise

Finalement, je vais mourir
Vais-je renaître, overcome desire

We are dead, we are dead, we are dead, we are dead
We are all so dead, we are all so dead

fleur_morte

I dont wanna try on a new disguise
Time to say goodbye to what isn’t mine
I’m the face of what you will never see again
Cause I was far gone on the scale of 1-10

Please take off your petty mask
Leave the fakes right in the trash
Throw my second face right in the trash and it’s forever gone
Please take off your petty mask
Leave the fakes right in the trash
Throw my second face right in the trash and it’s forever gone

Well I guess everybody thought that I would be steady
But It seems like they weren’t even ready
Well I guess everybody thought that I would be steady
But It seems like they weren’t even ready


I am done with the worst
Of your kind that you adore
I am hung up on this work
Try to crack two faced galore
If you think your story will help you stay
When your fake galore never faded away

I am done with the worst
Of your kind that you adore
I am hung up on this work
Try to crack two faced galore
If you think your story will help you stay
When your fake galore never faded away


I have no more left of me to hide
No more mask to shadow the face of mine

Two Faced Galore

ORIGINAL SONG BY SAWTOWNE - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sV2H712ldOI
Cover art by Carissa (aka my girlfriend : D )

Confessions of a Rotten Girl [METAL COVER]

~ Thank you @aftcedkhity (@codyab) for being a part of this track ~

Praise me like I made it big but both us can’t live in full
You act like you better than the rest cause you’re delusional
I can never say my worth cause nobody will ever know
Stack em on a pedestal and watch em knock over their thrones

Promise me you’ll make it through the end of time
In a rising dead invasion taking all our lives
Taking medicine and praying that the burden dies
Drunk off all your love a deadly mix like bourbon wine

Your heart spills out blood while mine stills out red dye
All the fake inside this ego that can’t even cry
Whats the difference between Jekyll inside me and Hyde
One is full of lies the other one just likes to hide

Im the shining light illumina I'm like a shooting star
I come out from anywhere these people ain’t leaving no scars
Im the shining light illumina I'm like a shooting star
I come out from anywhere these people ain’t leaving no scars

Losing myself in the room of stars
Drinking so much that I fell into the dark
Knock myself out cause I ran outta luck
I just wanna find the meaning of self love
I would rather hang onto
Somebody else but I know I’ll lose
Keep hanging on till I find a noose
Now I’m stuck and there’s no meaning

If you fall right back then you’ll just start seething
Glory starts from acknowledging
I know you can’t see it through your eyelids

And there aint no stopping
Life is always gonna have some hardship
Follow the stars and you’ll start reaching
I know the angels can sound deceiving

Im the shining light illumina I'm like a shooting star
I come out from anywhere these people ain’t leaving no scars
Im the shining light illumina I'm like a shooting star
I come out from anywhere these people ain’t leaving no scars

Gemini

(Why you hide, why you lie)
When the days come by can you hide your cover
Is it really such a flex that i did all of this sober
When the days come by can you hide your cover
Is it really such a flex that-

Everytime I reach a new high, I lose a piece of my mind
Put on a mask to block the light, you can never feel so bright
Why I got the devil always staring at me sideways
Am I living in a lie because of my hate
Bring myself down, shut me up till I break
I will never be what I wanted but thats okay

Tell me why I pick a fight with people that deserve nothing
Tell me why you say you real even though you always bluffing
Tell me why I pick a fight with people that deserve nothing
Tell me why you say you real even though you always bluffing

Never find a day that I’ll feel great
But never leave it out if you hear your name
I know that you’re dragged down every day
But to get to the top gotta keep your head straight
Watch me as I fall in shame
Drowning in the things I shaped
I ain’t seen the final gate
When will I stop in my ways



Tell me like you want me
Tell me like you need me
Tell me like you’re begging for my mercy
Hell to you if i don’t see
Heaven in your envy eyes
Hell to you if i don’t see
Heaven in your envy eyes

Forever Repentance

I wanna be reborn
I do not adore
What i used to be
Leaving the old me
I’m ready to leave
The sin inside of me
And walk away from everyone
That did wrong to me
I lost myself, but really it’s a good thing
Life was hell, and now I feel more like a king
When I threw away, everything in place
Finally I stand a peace, I have found my way


I cannot decide what you do in life
Tragedy in mind, that you dug inside
Everything inside had to leave behind
Tragety of my persona, suicide

I can’t survive with the burn
Spreading my wings it’s my turn
I no longer see in a blur
Imma leave behind my worst
I was blending with the dirt
Can’t overcome if I’m not put first
I’ve accepted I can’t with
Lost myself it’s a good thing

I dont want you to think I died
But part of me is left behind

lost myself, it's a good thing

Every other god has lied
Ones I see need to show to survive
Wait till the day comes when you die
Ill pray for your every goodbye
In order to survive
You can’t do what’s right
Started with being trapped inside
Grief around no spirit to shine bright
Heartless world in a place unknown
Gravity pulls the weight of sorrow
So would you realize
When the stars don’t align
I'm not what you desire

I know its all a blur
I lived and I learned
I know its all a blur
I lived and I learned

Still don’t know if I’m following righteous
Want return but cannot even touch this
There’s no refunding if I dropped it
I will decompose with their presence
How can I win if I’m never even present
Why slow down if I’m falling under the bricks
Why pick up what I thought was a nuisance
There’s no shame in leaving what made you

I know there’s nothing to prove
I’m miniscule it’s my wrong
Can’t be myself I’m so lost
Someone please look at my star
I know why I am so hung
Alone or not I’m so gone
Now I can love guess that’s cool
I hope you make it this far

Don’t crawl back if the stars don’t align
You never were real in my own eyes


Monothrone

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