IDK IF IM A BOY [TAMAGOTCHI MASSACRE REMIX]

please stop talking
im obviously not the person that you thought i was
i think too often about the possibility youll murder us 

grip fate like its too late
talk to it like you got nothing to lose
charge a true rate 
livable wage 
give in to your rage
go postal post apocalyptic video game 
epoxy epoch together where the trees talk
keep the secret observe how my knees walk
bow legged and pigeon toed
i wont to make it
i already chose 
i went naked forgo my clothes  
you cant hide!
so come on in and get baptized
youre not a bad guy
you had a chance to act right
i admit it was kind of a whack try
things tend to blend in grey when you observe in black and white
but at the end of the day as long as youre saved you can go back to life
its too late too for me too many mistakes
im going to a place that i dont even believe in 
four season red ember bleating delay tape
lets stay safe no decay today 
oh no stay away 
im amazed you made it this far 
but do you remember which way you came  ?

im really sad

PLZ STOP TALKIN

i dont wanna be myself 
i wanna be someone else 
right now, i know 

i changed my mind, ill go to hell
just feed me and keep me in a cell
spend everyday needing so much fucking help
ill tell you the secret and see if you tell 

im not afraid of falling anymore 
i stare at the face 
i ignore features that look the same
theres a hook in my face
pull it out another one forms behind it
instantly cut off circulation
i feel my eyelids flutter as i struggle to sit
i just collapse to my knees in a fit
coughing, laughing, dry heave
punch my fist against the seat and the lid 

theres a message in here somewhere !
changing lanes
ill stay in mine
you stay insane
i love this crowd
dog bites man 
man drops a hydrogen bomb on the ground 
i got a sweet tooth 
i like it when i find hidden objects
i see you
underneath the grass
rubbing against me 
touch it, whats the difference?
ask me if its empty
over turn the glass and get every single last drop out 

oh god its fit right in the palm of my hand now 
rejected blessing i see the angel it shines down
im happy to have the plaque scrapped from my teeth
i added gems to my canines
im playing with them as we speak 

i lie and i steal things
try to be revealing 
off putting !!!
show me where i lost footing
lip service
cock sucking dick circus 
ill be at auction but all of this shits worthless

(motorboat cough cough) whoa! couldnt begin to imagine how that happened
hey, look over there! 
spit in a napkin!
are you kidding? im asking
are you shitting in my hand or wishing on black magic?
you didnt understand
sometimes its okay to match the energy of your worst man
im the dead spy, i got two red eyes
ill let you guess why i stare out my blinds paranoid
people around me notice and im afraid that theyre annoyed
or think im crazy, and maybe theyre right
backdrop: illusion of contact
age it until it tastes like a safe ride
take you home in the back of a sports car
godly intention so pure as im sure that yours are

i dont wanna be myself
i wanna be someone else

Numbing Agent

slimy oozing bubbling stuff erupting

touching all my clean white t shirts

dont ask me where ive been or ill have to lie

floating

in reference to my weekend

asleep behind the wheel 

havent eaten

feels good

try to keep it real

my body armor is so camoflaughed, bitch!

its got invisible rocket launchers right on it

holding on to way too much

watching my hair grow 

fucked up    

broken bones 

i notice those hurt the most when you wake up and remember how they happened



time for altered vision 

betrayed

i know you feel that way 

while im indifferent

betrayed 



who do i need to hurt?

to make shame a motivator that will work 

and after that sustain an outlook 

without constantly reminding me of how long it took

i know it wont be like before



i never believed that 

i know we both see that i need to do more 

i said i agree that 

this shit wont stop driving a wedge in the floor     



exceptions 

satisfaction is guaranteed

except when i dont land on my feet 

exceptions

i love them

just please love me  



and im a beast when 

my anger reaches my dome 

its just a circle

but it is all ive ever known

Bad Boy Cat Toy

tattoos

Probably my favorite song on this album.
The "main loop" is from a rehearsal recording of my math-rock type band, Ultra Death Men, sped up and cut up.
The song is about a lot of things, as always, but was most heavily inspired by my first trip to San Diego. It was a pretty strange, negative, and intense part of my life, but the experiences I had there had profound effects on my outlook.
The first line of the lyrics references one night Bradlea and I were driving through the desert and the entire dusk sky was literally a full rainbow.
The reiteration of that part of the song the second time is about how I'd wake up every morning to a collection of four cats sleeping on me and they'd all scramble away from me when they realized I was awake, as if to hide the fact that they'd been sleeping on me.

Loud Noise In My Room

Girls Rituals X Lauren Bousfield - Used To Be Better

@rooksfeather & @neotenomie
the most 🔥🔥🔥 album about gay trash, chronic pain & dissociation you've heard all year 
pwyc on bandcamp! https://rookandnomie.bandcamp.com/album/superego-royal-jelly

rook&nomie - SUPEREGO ROYAL JELLY - 06 LOVER'S LANE

(original : https://blacksquares.bandcamp.com/track/treat-me-like-a-doll)

if you really want i can be the smog around you
i'll surround you with my love
no matter how much how could it ever be enough ?
i wanna take care of all your needs
i wanna give you everything
i wanna build a nest inside your lungs
and curl up and go to sleep as close as i can be to you

keep me, keep me safe. i need you, every day
keep me, it keeps me safe. i need you

treat me like a doll, i'll be fucking perfect
see the real me, buried in the plastic
every fucking day i wake up in a panic
spinning like a drill i can never stop
tearing up inside myself

i built myself from barely fitting parts
scraped up off the floor
bubbling melting in the heat 
melting u and me together
what's this stuff ?? is it even flesh ??
is it even blood ?? is it even me ??
i built myself from barely fitting parts
i still fall apart, i still fall apart

keep me, keep me safe. i need you, every day
keep me, keep me safe. i need you

treat me like a doll, i'll be fucking perfect
see the real me, buried in the plastic
every fucking day i wake up in a panic
spinning like a drill i can never stop
tearing up inside myself

treat me like a doll (girls rituals)

Off my new album, Sous un Chêne which comes out on May 6th, 2020.

Preorder here!
mowmowmow.bandcamp.com/album/sous-un-ch-ne

oh baby i don’t feel right
getting closer
i’m feeling weakened
in atrophy

these roots don’t feel like home to me
no nothing feels like home to me
but you

and i
i just wanna feel you closer
i just wanna you feel you close again

help me breath
help me breath
help me breath

i don’t like this
suffocation
near damnation
feel for me

where do you think i am
who do you think you are
i’m not some little bird
that needs to be set free

and i
i just wanna feel you closer
i just wanna you feel you close again

maybe i’m a walk-in
contradiction
but maybe i’m not walking
anymore

ohhhh
i know i had everything i want to be
but why could i not satisfy me needs

and i
i just wanna feel you closer
i just wanna you feel you close again

Close Again

this is a song that was written in 2016 over a beat made in 2019 revisited in 2021.

lyrics:
my instinct tells me i smell like fresh meat
and i better be ready to defend myself if i need to
although ive never been in a fight
im weak and youre right
im sorry i didnt believe you
and ill apologize a second time
when i see you
because im sure it will lead to
the unbearable feeling that we are both only the same
and both totally insane
i feel it next to me etching itself into my skin
so i can start to act like a small part of myself again
youll see it too and know that its a preview
as we stand totally frozen and try to regroup
and after everything melts away into something else
well find another person and offer them all our help 
stepped with the wrong foot first
now it hurts to walk
ill walk it off stop talking shit 


i drank the blood but im still human
still want to do drugs 
i drank the blood but im pretty sure that i didnt drink enough

its shallow here
vapid
all my strength was sapped when i strapped in
i got tired so i napped
and when i woke up i found all the feeling was back
yeah at least it was until i needed it
squeeze every last bit of lust out of my bleeding tip
isnt it funny how quick they switch it in their minds 
when collective conscious isnt enough to get by
i know i know i know
humans cant fly
thats why they clipped the wings off every damn time
i didnt mean to abstract myself
im the sum of my goals subtracted by my shelf life
i helped drive the price up
so i must die!
i struck out blindly and touched my own rough side

i didnt mean to get frustrated
but sometimes i just fuck up and i fuckin hate it

Close Again

mowmowmow

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