I wrote this song about the struggles of being in a relationship with mental issues.

Trying To Be Upset

2024 (feat. Vxlious)

**LYRICS**
overthink too much I know, I'm lost in all my goals 
and I keep trying to let go 
but I ain't got no hope 

fuck I'm tired of making reckless decisions I said I'm eighteen now so I'm tryna get digits and I- 
I've been pushing up and out of my limits I said I'm eighteen now so I'm tryna

way way way 
wayside to the wayside to the wayside 
I'ma throw it all away in the night 
waste time, baby waste time, baby waste time if you want it then don't waste my time

wayside to the wayside to the wayside 
I'ma throw it all away in the night 
waste time to the waste time to the waste time if you want it then don't waste my time

I'm confused with the views and the way that you act now
speak it with your chest baby speak with some heart now 
tell me that you love me even if its a lie now 
tell me that you hate me cause I'm always gone find out
 
if you really love me better say it with passion 
and if you really hate me better come with the action
cause if you really hate me leave that fucker in past tense 
counteract with the action

animosity seems to always come to me 
whether I want it or not I don't understand these thoughts
but these thoughts still run through me
I tied a bandage I still bleed 
out 

fuck I'm tired of making reckless decisions I said I'm eighteen now so I'm tryna get digits and I- 
I've been pushing up and out of my limits I said I'm eighteen now so I'm tryna

way way way 
wayside to the wayside to the wayside 
I'ma throw it all away in the night 
waste time, baby waste time, baby waste time if you want it then don't waste my time

wayside to the wayside to the wayside 
I'ma throw it all away in the night 
waste time to the waste time to the waste time if you want it then don't waste my time

I'm confused with the views and the way that you act now
speak it with your chest baby speak with some heart now 
tell me that you love me even if its a lie now 
tell me that you hate me cause I'm always gone find out
 
if you really love me better say it with passion 
and if you really hate me better come with the action
cause if you really hate me leave that fucker in past tense 
counteract with the action

wayside (prod. plxce)

tag team w/ Zephyr

lay with me🖤 
spotify and the like > linktr.ee/Solderis
(prod. by @prodco2)

lay with me in my arms tonight (prod. Co2 x CM)

winter (prod. lie lak x solderis)

falling on willows (prod. Iof)

LYRICS

I go and break down way too much 
cause our loves seeded in distrust 
and I don't wanna have to face you 
right now, by now, I've found 

you thought that I would get right over it 
and maybe I found peace in abandonment 
but baby there ain't nothing fair to this 
right now, I've found, that that's just how it is

breathe out all this pressure that I'm holding in 
find out that we're starting from where we begin 
you think that we're better and we'll try again 
I think that we're better letting in the wind 

cause I feel so damn abandoned 
and I don't know how to manage 
and I don't know what your plan is 
cause I don't know to manage 

I thought we'd find us a way out 
and find ourselves somewhere safe now 
but I don't feel so safe now 
and I feel so damn abandoned 

I think it's picture-perfect how you burn my photographs 
you live a life of lies and somehow never seem to act
I think it's funny how you left us in the fucking past
I think it's funny how you think I'm ever coming back

cause I learned how to let it all go 
and I found that some door doesn't make home 
now I'm gone and you're walking on your own
abandon me just to end up all alone

breathe out all this pressure that I'm holding in 
find out that we're starting from where we begin 
you think that we're better and we'll try again 
I think that we're better letting in the wind

abandoned (prod. Immortal)

requiem to my aspirations (prod. en.)

Ily < 3

LYRICS
- Solderis -
believe in me, and we'll figure out, a way for us to be alright now 
watch the world try to tear us down, believe in me, and we'll figure out 

- Solderis -
soon as you call me babe I won't pick up the phone 
I know you love me but you need to let me go 
yeah 
babe I won't pick up the phone 
and I know we had something 
but the flames been getting cold 

- Solderis -
try try try but still don't phase me
break hearts but still can't break me
lie lie lie lie lie and I'm over it 
so if I'm honest I don't want you to come over again 
and if I'm honest I don't wanna always play pretend 
and act like we're alright cause we're not fine and I'm so done

- Dylan - 
I'm so done I've had enough of the torturing 
can't unlatch from your grasp you're a scorpion 
we refract like topaz and the story ends 
I feel like I'm falling as soon as you call me in 

- Solderis -
soon as you call me babe I won't pick up the phone 
I know you love me but you need to let me go 
yeah 
babe I won't pick up the phone 
and I know we had something 
but the flames been getting cold 

- Dylan - 
you keep on wreaking havoc can't find shelter from the storm 
I ain't tryna keep up I don't love you anymore 
full disclosure I kinda hate you I'm over it
keep coming over you got me feeling so torn again 

- Dylan - 
but who cares if it falls apart (I do) 
did everything in my power to try and just see it through 
feeling pessimistic we go through another fight then I'm fine again 
if I'm honest you probably know I'm lying then 

- Solderis -
so if I'm honest I don't want you to come over again 
and if I'm honest I don't wanna always play pretend 
and act like we're alright, cause we're not fine and I'm so done

- Solderis -
soon as you call me babe I won't pick up the phone 
I know you love me but you need to let me go 
yeah 
babe I won't pick up the phone 
and I know we had something 
but the flames been getting cold 
x2

TOPAZ w/ dylan longworth (prod. immortal)

what's your addiction ? 

*lyrics*
so close to breaking 
you don't notice 
I'm feeling homebound 
but still homesick 
chasing a safehouse 
but it's hopeless 
lost in addiction we let it control us

addiction, crippling 
I can't give it up
lost all of my family but I don't give a fuck 
addiction, crippling 
I can't give it up
take a couple more to ease the pain of losing us 

addiction, crippling 
you can't give it up
lost all of my family but you don't give a fuck 
addiction, crippling 
you can't give it up
go and walk away you're always great at giving up

I'm starting to question like what the fuck is a safe route
no Russian I won't put a chance up in this damn house 
grab me a bullet baby that's how I'ma go out 
another shot, just take me up out of this pain now 
friends dying to addiction, you still pour it up the same, how? 
could we lose all that we had 
it's the point where we ain't ever coming back 
it's to the point we put our memories in the past 

addicted to you but I know that it's toxic 
lately, it's getting harder to talk with you 
when you're walking away 

addicted to you but I know that it's toxic 
lately, it's getting harder to walk from you
when I want you to stay 

addiction, crippling 
I can't give it up
lost all of my family but I don't give a fuck 
addiction, crippling 
I can't give it up
take a couple more to ease the pain of losing us 

addiction, crippling 
you can't give it up
lost all of my family but you don't give a fuck 
addiction, crippling 
you can't give it up
go and walk away you're always great at giving up

but we are not the same baby I ain't giving up 
and every day you try to tell me I'm never enough 
but I don't give no fuck (what?)
I take what I want (huh)
you're the devil's daughter 
but you're everything at once 

need about five bands in my right hand 
need about five more in my mattress 
need a nightstand with a goal plan
and a nice house with a bad bitch 
I need everything and not a single thing to be compared close to the average 
so if you need me then I need you to need me like an addiction, not a habit

ADDICTION (prod. elxnce)

RELAPSE ft. tuxx (prod. co2 x alsbeatz x ayoleybeats)

@porter-robinson 
I made this remix a while back & almost didn't release it but ehhh
what good would it do anybody collecting dust in my vault ? 🖤
ily Porter so much 💜

grieving (porter robinson - everything goes on) (soundcloud only)

ft. @cbrtrsh mixing & engineering by @heyzeph & @solderis @ prod. immortal

BRICKELL AVE ft. cybertrash (prod. immortal)

@ghostsocial

lyrics

(Solderis)
my words feel bittersweet 
I don't want you to count on me 
cause I can feel the pressure make me buckle in my knees 
I don't think you cared if I was alright 
how you keep on wondering why you've been on the sidelines 

(ghostsocial) 
baby won’t you hold me
what you told me
feeling like I’m changing everyday, It’s not the old me
hope you feel better now
feeling the pressure now
I’ve been crashing, I feel like I’m burning down
feel like I’m pleading now, bleeding out
got nobody by my side, I hope you hear me now
I feel the pressure now, bleeding out
try to call you by my side, but you tear me down

(Solderis)
tearing me down 
only pushed me further away 
cause you couldn't wait 
I feel like I've been falling in place
I'm weightless still 
I feel like you've been drowning me out 
so I can't heal 

I've been trying to run away
feels like that I'll never escape 
I'm not trying to fall apart 
everytime you say my name

(ghostsocial)
cause your words feel bittersweet
tell me you won’t lie to me
It feels like it's just falling on death’s ears, a tragedy
feels like you’re holding me down, feel like I can't breathe
I’ve been living on sidelines and backstreets

(ghostsocial & solderis) 
baby won’t you hold me
what you told me
feeling like I’m changing everyday, It’s not the old me
hope you feel better now
feeling the pressure now (feeling the pressure now)
I’ve been crashing, I feel like I’m burning down
feel like I’m pleading now, (feel like I'm) bleeding out
got nobody by my side, I hope you hear me now
I feel the pressure now, bleeding out
try to call you by my side, but you tear me down

solderis x ghostsocial - sidelines

ty for listening

lyrics
(Pre-Chorus)
I just can't break away
From all you have to say
You command me back to you
Every time I walk away

(Chorus)
Tired of overthinking things
Nothing ever feels the same
I can't seem to find a way
To make it all make sense
You're rotting my brain
But maybe that's alright
It's worthless every time I try
Maybe I'll give up the fight
You're my favorite parasite

(Verse)
Closed eyes when I open the door
Said to give me less, 'cause I don't want more
I don't need help, need you by my side
The only problem is you stay the night

Too much, I just get a little bit love drunk
I just need a little bit of your touch
To get me right

But I'm losing emotions
I don't know how to cope this
And it's been feeling hopeless
I don't wanna have to try
And I try but

(Pre-Chorus)
I can't break away
From all you have to say
You command me back to you
Every time I walk away

(Chorus)
Tired of overthinking things
Nothing ever feels the same
I can't seem to find a way
To make it all make sense
You're rotting my brain
But maybe that's alright
It's worthless every time I try
Maybe I'll give up the fight
You're my favorite parasite

parasite (prod. michael harrison)

how do you sleep

afraid

flashing lights

homesick

picking up the pieces

wip self-prod, demo's, etc 
"And now that you don't have to be perfect, you can be good"

Maison Sierra

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