They don't know they're dying
They don't know they're dying
So they get caught up
In a life
Where giving up feels like trying

And I'm patient
Saintly
But I loose it
Ego is an egotistic
Artist
That kills itself
and restarts It

Hates to love
but loves to hate 
Even more
Misanthropic
Self-indulging
Self-loathing

I have hatred buried in me
I have an anger I can't control
Not so easily

What's your neutral state
What's your neutral state

They don't know
They don't know they're dying

And I'm patient
Saintly
But I loose it

NEUTRAL STATE (prod. Pezzhead)

This ain't how im feeling
It's just how you've made me feel
this ain't how im feeling
I just want to keep things real

I don't believe this is who you want to be
I don't believe this is who you want to be

she said they project
when afraid or under threat
I think they project
cause no one's heard them yet

do you want to keep on taking drugs
to feel alive
is it cause your happy or to not feel 
dead inside

do you think your happy
or numbing what's inside
do you think your happy
trading seconds for your life

Come here bro have a hug :) HA GAAAYYYY >:O

NUMB (Prod. dreamboat666)

they say with these riches
come money and fame
bitch nothing different
i still be the same
i'm getting better at blocking the hate
boy you aint special
ain't playing no games
you want attention
but yeah its too late
yeah we both pushing buttons
you're digging your grave
mine are just starting these teslas and planes

Third eye
Third eye
yeah
Pineal Gland
Third eye
Third eye
yeah
Pineal Gland

Banana milkshake in my sippy cup
I just like attention I don't wanna fuck
Bitch I'm driving tesla what the fuck you think
Bitch get yo mouth off my nutsack
I don't fucking I don't fucking like that
Fall Nights
Bitches on my phone got me acting up
All night
Fall Nights
Fall Nights

FALL NIGHTS (prod. dreamboat666)

If you knew the hells
that I've been through
If you did
I hope
You'd come back to
If you knew
the hells ive been thorugh
that ive been through
I hope 
You'd come back to

Save me
from myself
Save me
from myself

I've been plotting
behind my back
Self-destructive
Its the love i lack
its my curse
and one saving grace
cause heaven knows
I love and hate this place

You exist in the hells that you create
you exist in the hells that you create

If you knew
the hells i've been through
if you knew
the hells
ive been through
if you did
if you did
I think
I hope 
You'd come back
to save me
from my
self


save me from myself

H E L L S (prod. Pezzhead)

6 legged insects
crawling on the ground
venomous
toxic analyst
taking over damaged Ids
6 legged insect s
under your skin
dissect with the pen
but the pain keeps coursing
in
slow knife 
to the right
red rose set alight
to the the left old flame
fearful of love
play the same game
switch so you inflict
give and take the same pain
you sewed your chest
and you lose either way
you lose either way
Yeah you lose either way
If you choose either way
yeah you lose either way
Lose either way
Yeah you choose either way
Yeah 

You lose either way
Lose either way
Yeah you lose either way

Demons in the corridors
they lie and wait
They lie and wait
do I go through hell
for heaven's sake
I'm scared of the nightmare
I made
do I keep them here
or drive them away
do I drive them all away

You 
said
You
You're better off all alone
You said
You you're better off all alone
Alone
Alone

Yeah demons in the corridors
they lie and wait
They lie and wait
You're better off all alone
Alone

Witches wrecking havoc on a planet that you paid for
Time's not kind to the ones that stayed for 
The burning at the stake 
Or the fall from grace
Sink or swim
Skinned alive
Save face
They say
In this zero sum game
The devil made a mockery
Of pious virtues' honesty
Cause either way you play
In complicit carnal gain
Or the humble zealot who abstains
Eat the flesh
Drink the blood
Worship death
Make love
Wage war
For a Cause
In a nameless kingdom
All in the name of
God's chosen victim

Yeah demons in the corridors
they lie and wait
Do I go through
For heaven's sake
For heaven's sake
I'm scared
So scared of the nightmare I've made
I've made

27/10/24 04:43

I played this to a friend of mine today and he really liked it and some other people liked it. I just don't really fully fuck with this version yet because I can hear the other version already. I like it for what it is though. 

I got critiqued by these music critiqueres critics whatever, that it sounds like a mismatch of accents? It's hard to explain to people who are mono-faceted, who struggle to walk freely among different sub-cultures but then the point is for me to appreciate that this is a culmination of the multi-faceted experience of British life that I have had the great pleasure of experiencing.

 I won't apologise for being different people in one body. Maybe I'll get better at blending myself with myself and expressing that in a more palatable way?? Anyway... I'll move this over to tumblr at some point.

NITEMARE 4D (prod. Pezzhead)

You watched me fall 
To the depths i belong
You watched me crawl
Back to 
Where I’m from

Its a shame it had to end like this

There’s something wrong with me
To want what I don’t need
Something wrong with me
Coveting whats empty
Something wrong with me
She cast me to the void
Now I’m in love
With all that is empty

Now I can’t believe I’m not the sane one
Cause I never left insanity
My mind was torn
So I could die
Safely

Now I can fit into the eye of a needle

You watched me fall 
To the depths where I belong
You watched me crawl
Back to 
Where I'm from

There’s something wrong with me
To want what i don't need
Something wrong with me
Coveting whats empty
She cast me to the void
Now I’m in love
With all that is empty

Bleed me until I’m dry
Cast me out from inside
I'm the one you want instead
So face me
Face me

Now I can fit into the eye of a needle

EYE OF A NEEDLE

fall to the absence
I've needed to part
you're like a habit
that makes me
restart
and I can't 
get you out of my head

you're the only reason 
I started again

it's a simple search of words
for finding words of worth
like hope and happiness 
like you don't owe me this
years since so i've been
paving ways making waves
crashing back like tidal waves
off shore overboard
shoreline I'm fine
picked myself back up to find
memories I had of you
were just broken pieces of my mind

Fall to the absence 
I’ve needed to part
You’re like a habit
That makes me restart
And I can’t get you 
Out of my head
You’re the only reason
I started again

Started way too fast and ended way too quick
built this house on buried bodies
so the ghosts were haunting it
Losing centuries filling empty spaces
never meant for me
drift in between
the visceral
fade out forget
material
love lost haunt me
spectre floating
yeah this is what they meant 
when
they said
you only love them
when you set them free

fall to the absence
I’ve needed to part
You’re like a habit
That makes me restart
And I can’t get you out of my head
You’re the only reason 
I started again

MTXNZI

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