My deepest dive yet, detailing a past abusive relationship, my ex-boyfriend who committed suicide, and the trauma that has haunted me since my teenage years. I have carried these events with me all these years, and they have informed who I am. And I have, mostly, carried them alone.

For those who've ever wondered why pessimism and depression creep into my worldview, and why I don't subscribe to a "what doesn't kill you only makes you stronger!" mentality in the way that my less-traumatized, so-called liberal-minded peers do.

I don't miss him. And no: I won't be visiting his grave.

A companion piece to my previous story, "Vial Monster".

Can't Miss.

Two girls. One guy. One bar. One thing is for certain: he's got a whole lot of explaining to do. And much to atone for.

Recorded by Brendon Panke in April 2016.

Wetter Paint, Part 2

After hosting and opening for a punk rock show at a local watering hole that I've told many a story about, I find my way home. When I arrive at my intended destination in the wee hours of 31 May 2018, I am alerted to a stranger's presence by a loud banging on my door. Someone has run away from home...

A companion piece to my earlier story, "Can't Miss". Listen to both to understand the full genesis.

Dedicated to the survivors of self-harm and abuse, who are most often misunderstood. Particularly as young girls.

Blood Sisters

The time I met the star of Christopher Nolan's critically-acclaimed summer 2023 blockbuster "Oppenheimer". What did he have to say? Does he like being recognized? And how tall is he, really?

Cillianspotting

"For anyone who has ever wondered why I don't drink..."
When prompted with the question, "What is the book that changed your life?", Muirrieyah de la O delves into the root of her antipathy towards a culture obsessed with intoxication.

Recorded by Brendon Panke.
Photo by Mel Hammond.

I Don't Want to Recover From This

Sexting. Scandal. Revenge. Cheating. Half-truths in the time of heartbreak. Otherwise known as: the time I became the accidental mistress to the drummer of that stone-hearted, big-eyed bassist who always abandoned me for other women without a word of remorse.

Recorded by Adam Rostad on March 19th, 2016.

No Strings (Blade Chaser: 2015 Redux)

When asked on an innocent-looking slip of paper, "What is the best thing you've ever done?", I am reminded of a summer night in 2012 fraught with abuse, three disturbing vials, an attempted suicide note, a break-in, and a choice. A particularly emotional friendship called to mind my own experiences with a violent, abusive young man (now deceased), the first of many to teach me what love wasn't.

I dedicate this with love to the abused women scared into submission, too terrified to leave.

Recorded by Adam Rostad.

Vial Monster

The third, but certainly not least, member of a long-gone Madison punk band left his mark on me during a whirlwind weekend in 2017. The sequel to "Wetter Paint" and "No Strings (Blade Chaser: 2015 Redux)".

I wonder: if ever our paths do cross again, will you bother to explain to your new bride what I meant to you at the time, and why it was that you asked me to wait six months?

#punk #garage #punkrock #garagerock #rock #rocknroll #garagepunk #diypunk #madisonwi #storytelling #storyteller #storyslam 

Blade Chaser: 2017 (The Missing Piece)

Every story has a catalyst.

In what some believe are called Twin Flame relationships, one party---the more fickle, callous person who tends to leave---is called the "Runner". The other party---abandoned and blindsided by this heartbreak, seeking love, answers, and often closure---is referred to as the "Chaser".

Interestingly enough, in these types of perceived soul connections, these roles can sometimes switch, with the Chaser---tired of the Runner's games and inability to commit---finally moving on to someone else or simply giving up, and the Runner---perhaps feeling that something is missing, or upon the realization (or 'awakening') that none of their karmic partners cared quite as deeply---can then turn around and become the Chaser.

This sometimes leads to the flames reuniting. In other instances, however, too much time has passed and too much damage done along with it to restore the twin flame relationship to what it was originally destined to be. For this reason, many twin flame connections do not end up together in the physical plane.

Recorded by Adam Rostad on January 16th, 2016.

#rosaline #punkrock #garagerock #madisonwi #storyteller #storytelling #storyslam #punk #publicspeaking

Wetter Paint (Blade Chaser: Original)

Public speaker/storyteller, hostess, comedienne, model, actress, stylist, and writer.

Muirrieyah de la O

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