white to black

audio: bubble gum by clairo
movie: the perks of being a wallflower

sad bc it just hurts

ketamine

cigarettes out the window - TV Girl (If i betray u, i betray myself) Dangerously yours

sign crushes motorist - cold (slowed)

dangerously yours X poison tree(another version)

Lain x Limerence - "why are you crying lain?" - slowed

5 сантиметров в секунду x green to blue(tiktok mix)

in my restless dream x poison tree(tiktok remix)

this house is not the same

repeat to yourself that they're not really gone
time has proven that fooling yourself into believing
a lie is the most effective way to deal with
things you have no control over

keep listening to the mixtapes they made you
overanalyse every single word you hear
"was this a sign that things were going wrong"
no no, you were the one that cared too hard, not them

stay up every single night staring at your phone
either attempting to gather up the courage to
turn these demons, these constant reminders of
your loneliness into nothing more than a bad dream
or praying just for one second you could feel
the warmth of equally returned love

go out for coffee four times a week by yourself
always bring your notebook, never stop writing
leave little comics and thank you notes with your tip
watch them smile as you get in your car

always talk down on yourself whenever possible
my life is shit because i deserve it, right?
you must have done something real bad
its nearly impossible for you to cry now

avoid your friends for weeks even though
they're the only sense of consistency you have
left in your life, if they really wanted
to see you they'd come, but they won't (who cares?)

allow yourself to lose interest in the things you love
watch as you begin to take a backseat to the
world around you, don't fight it
become a secondary character in your own motion picture

but most importantly drown every single one of
your feelings in old stolen rum, learn to
love the taste of it dripping down your throat
find comfort in the warmth coming from your
stomach, you're drinking bottled love now

you don't need other people to drive away your loneliness
you just needed to find a way to talk to it

how to never stop being sad

movie - call me by your name

song- visions of gideon

visions of gideon

white to black

violetto