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Background music: Dirait-on by Morten Lauridsen (performed by Mila Reyes)
Audio: I Believe I Can Make A Difference in the World by Mila Reyes

Entry 4 – This, I Believe

This is a bit of a song, a bit of a prayer. I tried praying myself to sleep (which usually helps) but that didn't help at all. So I played some music and the words that came out of my mouth when I played these chords were these:

Mama, hold me
Please console me
The sorrow I feel and the future I fear
is something that ushers my end to draw near
Mama, hold me

Mama, hold me
Mama, hold me

Mama, hold me
God took something from me
I know He has something much better in mind
but I can't see for tears have filled up both my eyes
Mama, hold me

Mama, hold me
Mama, hold me

Mama, Hold Me

Covered a song I currently resonate with. Here are the lyrics:

I am good with directions
I can find my way just by looking at stars
I have not lost my senses
I can find my way through a room in the dark

But I don't know
How to figure out where to go
From here

I'm lost and confused
Where do I go without you?
Where do I go without you?

I'm the breeze on a fall day
And I don't stop to think, I don't catch my breath
I have memorized places and feelings
I know them all like the back of my hand

And I don't know
How to figure out where to go
From here

And now I'm alone on this island
I drink so I don't think of you,
And now I'm alone
I don't know if this was the right thing to do
Where do I go without you?

I wanna tell you I miss you
But that contradicts what I told you before
I wanna tell you I love you
But do I really know how I feel anymore?

And I don't know
How to figure out where to go
From here
I'm lost and confused
Where do I go without you?
Oh, where do I go without you?

Where Do I Go? (Lizzy McAlpine Cover)

I wrote a song to process some feelings I didn’t know I had.

Here are the lyrics: 

Did I really love you?
That, I don’t know 
I wish I had an answer 
for my weary soul

‘Cause when I got home from our first date 
my soul felt alive 
but I wrote down in my journal 
“will it last the end of time?”

Did I really love you
when you said it first?
it felt a little early 
but your words I returned

‘Cause when I hung up the phone that night,
I had tears in my eyes.
How could a soul so beautiful 
love a poor soul like mine?

And as time ticked slowly by 
we talked all day and night 
and that’s when I knew 
I might love you, too

Did you really love me?
That, I don’t know 
I wish I had an answer 
for my weary soul

Did I ever know those words?
I’m not sure I did 
but you taught me how to use them 
so that’s what I did

Did I really love you?
Well, I cried today 
over love that’s forgotten
and not here to stay

So, did I really love you?
I now know I did

did i really love you? (original voice memo)

Not a singer but I sing what I like. A human. Being. (Trying.)

M I L K

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