your memory haunts me
come and say that you want me
that you haven’t forgot me

gave myself away
gave you all of me (gave you my all)
slowly chipped away
broke me piece by piece (broke me to pieces)
now i’m on my own 
no one ever hit my phone 
always feelin so alone
i am barely holdin on 
i was never made of stone 
i ain’t feelin very strong
i been there for everyone
they dissapeared when i got low

your memory haunts me 
my dreams always taunt me 
my nights are so lonely 
come and say that you want me 
that you haven’t forgot me 
you still haven’t lost me 
i forgive you i promise (i’ll always be yours)
need you to come back around (i’m dyin without you)
and save me
before I crash and I drown

now i’m on my own 
no one ever hit my phone 
always feelin so alone
i am barely holdin on 
i was never made of stone 
i ain’t feelin very strong
i been there for everyone
they dissapeared when i got low
when i got low

disappeared

Intro:

No one ever there when i need them (when i need them)
Even when they know that I’m bleedin (I am bleedin)
I’m fucked up from the morning to the evening (stay fucked up)
Think about that last kiss when you were leavin (when you were leavin)

Verse One:

I can’t fuckin do this anymore 
Black out then I wake up sleepin on the floor 
Always feelin down so fuck it all 
Pop a couple pills drink a little alcohol 
Sad songs - think of you until I hit a wall
You not there to catch me so you know I’m gonna fall
Crash landin
Thought I was standin
Gave up on my dreams
Cuz this life too demandin

No one ever there when I need em
Even when they know that I’m bleedin
Fucked up from the mornin to the evenin
Think about the last kiss we had when you was leavin
 
You’re the only one who really knows me
You’re the one who showed me
How it felt not to feel lonely
Said you’d always be there
Said you wasn’t leavin
Somethin to believe in  
Remember when you told me (I remember)  

I remember when you
Told me (when you told me)
You’d always be around to
Hold me (you’d always be round)
Gave you my heart and soul and keys (you said forever you’d keep)
Then you’re love went cold (your love went cold)
Then you left our home (you left our home)
Left me here on my own (left me here on my own)
Now I sit here alone
An stare out the window
Wishin you would come home (can’t believe that you’re gone)
wish that you would come home
Still can’t believe that you’re gone 

No one ever there when I need em
Even when they know that I’m bleedin
Fucked up from the mornin to the evenin
Think about the last kiss we had when you were leavin

Think about the last kiss (that last kiss)
When you left me

last kiss

verse 1:

still can’t get you off my mind  
take these pills to pass the time
take these pills so i feel fine
take these pills to write these rhymes
cold nights, miss you by my side 
miss the times when we got high
miss how you’d make me feel alright 
mix all these drugs hope that i die  

chorus:

living on borrowed time
one day go to sleep and for me the sun won’t rise
give me one more line
to forget she ain’t you while i look into her eyes 
love you ‘til the day i die
cold hearted lies when you said you’d try 
overdosed saw hell this time 
hope i see you on the other side

verse 2: 

dead inside lost everything
these pills numb me, and the pain i’m in
you cut me off, felt like a knife
tried suicide, somehow survived
needed you that october night
as i overdosed, messaged goodbye  
replay that night a million times
got no reply i almost died

pre chorus:

i’m so tired of this life 
slowly dyin’ inside
russian roulette with these drugs
16 lines, say that i’m fine

chorus:

living on borrowed time
one day go to sleep and for me the sun won’t rise
give me one more line
to forget she ain’t you while i look into her eyes 
love you ‘til the day i die
cold hearted lies when you said you’d try 
overdosed saw hell this time 
hope i see you on the other side

outro:

hope i see you on the other side
hope i see you on the other side
hope i see you on the other side
see you on the other side

see u on the other side

intro

still wish that you’d come back (wish that you’d come back)
you know that i need that (you know that i need that)
barely survivin’ on my own
can’t do it here with you gone

verse 1

getting’ high, another night alone
still don’t know where my soul has gone
still don’t know where this road is goin’
don’t wanna feel this way no more
wish you were here so i could hold you close
you’re the one thing that i miss most
kept me from drowning, kept me afloat
still see your ghost
need you to hold me

chorus

still wish that you’d come back
you know that i need that
i hope you can see that
i hope you believe that
barely survivin’ on my own
wanna quit these pills – can’t do it here with you gone
feel like i’m dyin’
feel like givin up tryin’
in the night when its quiet
all alone in the silence
…
alone in the silence

verse 2

tired of addiction
tired of feeling this way
take a pill in the mornin’
light it up an get baked
i don’t wanna take pills just to feel ok
we both made mistakes
but only i’m in pain
wish that i could see your face
see you as i fade away
tried suicide
still alive
stuck with this pain

chorus

still wish that you’d come back
you know that i need that
i hope you can see that
i hope you believe that
barely survivin’ on my own
wanna quit these pills – can’t do it here with you gone
feel like i’m dyin’
feel like givin up tryin’
in the night when its quiet
all alone in the silence
…
alone in the silence

alone in the silence

sometimes i wanna live
sometimes i wanna die
sometimes i wanna cry
but i never wanna smile
i wanna be alone i’m feelin’ tired and dead inside
i don’t answer on my phone an’ i never dial

i’m trynna be strong but it’s wearin’ on my soul
my body breaking down i can feel it in my bones
i’ve been there for everyone but they all left when i got low
tried so hard to fix my life but always find a darker road
i’m stuck inside this home, it’s dark and i’m alone
got walls i can’t break down, past trauma got me broke
burnin’ fire all around as my life goes up in smoke
the marijuana burns, i’m slowly losin’ hope

sometimes i wanna live
sometimes i wanna die
sometimes i wanna cry
but i never wanna smile
i wanna be alone i’m feelin’ tired and dead inside
i don’t answer on my phone an’ i never dial

i don’t answer on my phone an’ i never dial
karma for my past sins, i can never smile

feeling broken, my life is fuckin’ hopeless
sippin’ on codeine smoking weed to numb emotion
nobody understand me, say i’m wastin’ my life
bitch you don’t even know me, what goes on in my mind
i’m dyin’ inside, i just want you to know
wish i could die by your side, got nobody to hold
might be dyin’ tonight, took too much i’m alone
another night getting high, walk this road on my own

sometimes i wanna live
sometimes i wanna die
sometimes i wanna cry
but i never wanna smile

sometimes i wanna live
sometimes i wanna die
sometimes i wanna cry
but i never wanna smile
i wanna be alone i’m feelin’ tired and dead inside
i don’t answer on my phone an’ i never dial

i don’t answer on my phone an’ i never dial
karma for my past sins, i can never smile
dreams of bein’ found dead alone in my room
pills in my hand, layin’ still turnin blue

sorry mom and dad, what the fuck did i do?
what the fuck did i do?
what the fuck did i do?

alone - single

alone

been gettin fucked up since u gone
what you did was fuckin wrong 
used to hold u in my arms 
now someone else is holdin on
i hate my fuckin life 
another lonely night - get high
scrollin on my phone while comin down 
i wanna die
took too many klonopin 
roll up an start smokin 
numb my emotions
feel like im floatin
black holin
barely keep my eyes open
im so broken

been takin drugs been gettin numb
actin stupid actin dumb
mix alcohol with benzos 
codeine weed an adderall
i can barely breath right now
i can barely see right now
do u think of me at all 
wish that u need me right now 
without u im fallin down 
missing u im callin out
on my knees i'm crawlin now
wish u gave a fuck at all

i dont wanna live no more
im tired i wanna die
thats how i been feelin lately 
aint been feelin right

want u out my fuckin mind 
drugs all day an fuckin night
numb this painful fucking life

i'm so broken prod. flowrency

i wanted to release this version of 'alone' which is the original raw vocals i recorded when i created the song. i had been drinking a lot an felt so alone an had no one to reach out to. once i heard the beat the lyrics just came tot me and most of the song came to me as a single take freestyle.

i recorded another song that night called 'tired' and both will eventually be on an EP i plan to drop called 'tired' made up of a group of songs i made in a short period.

alone (single)

alone (original demo recording)

tonight i was plannin to kill myself 
sad songs on the playlist get me in my feels 
put my phone on silent started downin pills 
hope you fucking know the pain you caused will never heal  
my own thoughts destroy me, demons yelling in my head 
tellin me im worthless, that im better dead instead 
i can feel my eyes start to close my breathin slow 
see my parents cryin standin at my funeral

tonight I was planning to kill myself

[Sophie Woodhouse]
graceful is how you always move
through the trees on the heel of hooves
dancing like a tumbleweed
make your wishes, sow your seed
finding something to believe

[rdm]
i been in my zone again 
i been gettin high for weeks	
i just took 4 klonopin
comedown from amphetamines
shadow people on the wall
they been trynna talk to me
i been smokin lots of weed
benzos i just lost a week
i been in the clouds
trynna see if gods still watchin me
i got uppers i got downers 
crushin lines on marble counters
cocaine drip that shit is sour
cocaine hits get super powers
cocaine hits get super powers


samples Sophie Woodhouse - Forest Nymph, with permission

thanks Sophie

i just took 4 klonopin (feat. Sophie Woodhouse)

lyrics:

i remember when i had u
youre the one i run back to
girl i meant it when i told u its always u

i remember when i had u
holding hands gettin faded in my room
youre the one i run back to
girl i meant it when i told u its always u
girl its true
its always u
remember takin shrooms lay an stare at the moon
remember takin ketamine barely could move
felt like heaven in your arms while i lay next to u
do anything for u
take a bullet or knife
give u the moon
all the stars in the sky
remember when i said for u i'd give up my life
remember when u said u an me til we die

i remember when i told u its always u
its always u
its always u 

its always u (prod. dynasty)

i grabbed a knife
to end my life (to end my fucking life)
used to wanna save myself
now i wanna die (now i wanna die)

cut myself tonight
visit death tonight
eternal rest tonight
as i close my eyes
starin up at the sky
wish u were by my side
one last look in your eyes
as i bleed out in the moonlight

i grabbed a knife
to end my life (end my fucking life)
used to wanna save myself
now i wanna die (ready to die)

i grabbed a knife
to end my life
i grabbed a knife
to end my life

bleed out in the moonlight

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https://musicbyrdm.com/links

rdm

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