Blowing out all these candles, Knowing as hourglass sand falls
the present ticks like a turnstile 
Drinking this house dry, lord knows, when I pass out it's almost a desert
Arid and erstwhile
Pulled by gravity into the same old dream
about when we were just 19

We stood at the bus stop together, to hide from the worst of the weather
then ride on the top deck with all the old tramps n the smackheads 
to get back home to our flat with the pealing 
paint and the stains on the ceiling
with milk in the sink, try'na keep it cold, in bedsit land
when we were just 19

I'd go out on one of my benders and leave you in front of Eastenders
I'd tell you 10, but I'd roll in for 2, and spew in the sink in the kitchen
Then I'd wake you up in my gentle way and you'd go fucking mental
Then I'm on the sofa the next few nights, sulking my beds got a bitch in

Now a pot noodle's obviously grimmer 
when you're having it for christmas dinner
but chicken and mushroom is apt enough if cowards eat shit in the dark,
so, maybe I shouldn't 've repeatedly slagged off your cooking n cheated
pissed on the bog seat n acted up, playing the part of the arsehole I've been

So what if we live 'til a hundred notches on bedposts n blunders
will all of the stuff that we used to do feel like a hungover memory
n the bus stop where you used to meet me is stinking and full of graffiti
about who's a prick n who's fingered who
laughing it up until I cry these 99 tears
about when we were 19
back when we were 19
when we were just 19

I broke a heart or two, I Don’t remember whose
‘Cos all this time has broken mine, without your tears for glue

The day begins anew, I’ve sacrificed a few
But it would be eternity if it was up to you

These shoulders hold your globe, These lonely bones don’t hope

The story finds an end, I close my eyes again
But all my cuts would open up if it were down to them

These sober moments row, with holes in stolen boats
And soaking clothes don’t float

These crows cast shadows upon our names
These moles burrow beneath our graves
I’ll know some pleasure survives the pain
When roses grow out of our remains

These loathsome ghosts expose these old unspoken oaths
This rope consoles this throat, this vote is always closed

Yeah!!!

I cried myself to sleep, I’ll tell you that for free
I’d try my best to love you less if it was up to me

Roses

Ready, unsteady, I’m treading on perilous ground
Sediment never gets settled while decadence clouds
Relevance, tele’s old episode merry go round
Terror knows error knows better but never slows down

Sober

Meddlesome melon glows redder than hell and my proud
Terra just threatens my seraphim tethers unwound
Jettison anything heavy but feathers fall out
The pennies I bet on our legacy levy my pound

Sober…. Its over

Hearts of heresy, pump the kerosene
Around our nemeses our burning effigies
Boundless levity taunts our memories are
Tears our enemy? Treasons telling me hearts, yeah,
Found their remedy down in Tennessee 
I cant get sober

Its all or nothing

Sober

Don’t tell me that ignorance is bliss
I’ve witnessed happiness before but it didn’t feel like this
You’re worth the hanging round for in that bid to make you mine
But I didn’t plan on wasting all this time

Don’t compare your ignorance to bliss
‘cause spending an eternity just longing for your kiss
Is just another clue that maybe there is something wrong
And I didn’t plan an waiting for this long

Build my world around you, place you at the core
But now you make me hound you for a little more

Don’t tell me that ignorance is bliss
It feels a little bit like you’re starting to take the piss
Or maybe you enjoy making this idiot of me
And that isn’t how it was supposed to be

Don’t confuse your ignorance for bliss
How would you feel if I were to slit both my fucking wrists?
The funeral’s at 10 o'clock, we’re burying romance
And my epitaph’s still begging for a chance

Ignorance is Bliss

Waiting… for the words & understanding
For the feeling to return
When the fall gives way to landing
And when the crash begins to burn

There’s only you

Searching… for the war that’s worth the waging
The wiping out of enemies
To resurrect our old amazing
And what we know we’re meant to be

Go to sleep, this could take all night
When you wake, it will be alright
When the dark of the shrouded sky
Succumbs to light and I realise, it’s
Only You

only you

The smell of you in these worn out bedsheets
Born of a time before
Creeping away now slowly fading
Daily, a little more

The taste of your lips hides from my memories
After a short few days
All disappears in a long goodbye 
whilst going your own ways

This darkest hour, it’s over now…
When time runs out

Beware the sharks
The dripping blood from an open heart
Left ajar with only one in a million parts
Will raise alarm
Who would have known it would be this hard
In the dark… we’re just discovering the way things really are

This hand, in a fist, fights on for no-one…
And longs to be held once more…
But its so hard whilst we’re like this, 
suffering the way thing really are

This happy hour is sober now, when time runs out…

Beware the sharks
The dripping blood from an open hearted open arm
Will only poison the reservoir
In the dark, we gather strength and you come back hard
To bear the scars… 
and show our enemies the way things really are the way things really are

the sound of your voice still whispers softly
plays in my head, an I’m
sure there’s a place we’d all call home 
and you’ll always be mine

Beware, the sharks

Desperate times call for desperate measures so I catch you in between
Did it hurt when you fell from heaven? With a wink I guarantee
One or two scant amounts of pleasure, we can stretch it out to three
You can keep sleeping with the devil but your sheets are never clean

Jump ahead and the bad will’s spreading into every shade of grey
And the jest that a harsh word’s said in hides a truth you’d nevr say
There’s a death and a gunshot wedding where the last poor suckers pray
This losery lottery is heading into no-ones lucky day

Love is alive but I’m not, cus our love’s giving me
Everything that I want but it’s not what I need
Wiping the tears on my heart and the snot on my sleeve

There’s an “x” marking out some treasure on a map we’ll never see
There’s a “why” on a lengthened tether in a circle running free
Rockin’ out at about eleven but the noise is killing me
Looking ‘round all I see is better than the best we’ll ever be

I’m at the end of my rope like a dog on a lead
Sniffing the edges of hope’ cus I’m God’s dying breed
Even the filth know I’m soap, but it’s not how I plead

Fight, fight, try as you might
Keeping the love alive
When one story survives
Somebody else’s dies

love is alive (but i'm not)

Congratulations on breaking me in two
Congratulations this is typical of you
Congratulations on the hell you put me through
All the time, don’t you girl
Turn me into the world’s
Most miserable stupid waste of skin you have ever seen

Congratulations on leaving me for dead
To be the monster hiding out under the bed
The implications that it’s only in my head
See my toes start to curl
Turn me into the world’s
Most miserable waste of human life there has ever been

Can I get some medicine? 
Can I get your menacing in a bottle
Labelled “baby I don’t need you”
Can I get some severance 
Form-a-your malevolence
Can you hear me begging you
Again and again and again

I cant let you hold me back like I know you will
Underrate, overreact, but I love you still
I can’t let you hold me down, let you break my will
Subjugation, I’ll surmount, but I love you still

Congratulations on a difficult decision
I wished that I was dead and then you granted me permission
Why is it that I still allow myself to listen?
They said “it must be love” but now we know it really isn’t
Congratulations on completion of your mission
The hide n fuckin seek to find the something that we’re missing
We’re getting warmer to the coldest kinda pissin
Contest to partake in and it’s just another schism

World's most miserable

I sit up and drink too much while you sleep
To laugh at old jokes and secretly weep
Cus we talked all day, but talk is so cheap
For you but for me the price is so steep

Needing to know you

My stupid heart wants, on the off beat
To begin anew on some other street 
Cus I lost you once, and it became a streak
And all of our dreams took a back seat

And I’ve been lost, under the dark skies and long nights
But now I’m lost again disenfranchised by goodbyes

So you’ll live your life and I’ll go on with mine
and there’ll be no place cus there’ll be no time
And I’ll look for you but I’ll never find
a way to make our two worlds align 

And I’ll never know you

Old Jokes

You say you love me
But you’re missing all the parts that make it true
And you’re above me
In a world inhabited by only you

You say you need me
But absent of the heart that makes it real
And then you show me
I’m a cog within a cog within a wheel

The predators are closing in from all around
The creatures they are surfacing from underground

It’s complicated 
and the friends we never knew we had before
can see you hate me
and you feel it every day a little more

So tell me nicely 
And the daggers for my back will listen in
Then sacrifice me
Like a pawn within a game I’ll never win

The situations worsening and overhead
The vultures they are circling the nearly dead

Beware the sharks
Raise alarm
Bear the scars

Predators

Take a bow, and I will show you how
When you’re gone
Saddened every time we’re parted
Do you see, there’s no one else for me
You’re the one
Ever since the day we started

Back then, Pathetic fallacy 
When rain was pouring just for me
There must be somewhere else to go
Do you know…

You hear, but there’s no need to speak
And that promise that you seek…
Well, there’s nothing else to choose
Or left to lose

***
I felt things changing for the worst
Like, maybe I was cursed
But you turned it all around
Without a sound

I don’t tell you problems
You already know them
I forget ‘em all with you
Tell me is it real?
It is if you can feel it
Tell me you can feel it too

***
Now things are changing… and erased
Are all those yesterdays
And if I could start anew... there’s only you
Who’d say my name

***
Well, I’ve been lost… alone in the dark times… and wrong rights
But now I’ve found you I’m yours and your mine… so goodnight xxx

Take a Bow

More…

Lay right down
Times waiting for no-one no more
Hence forth, no more endless waiting
arm bleeds, heart pleads, palm reads, alarm screams
can’t speak, can’t see, can’t breathe, can’t feel
Ghosts all night grow in your mind

More, more, mourning your loss
More, more, more
More, more, morning comes with
More , more, more

A Promise:

I’m gonna jump this ship, it’s dragging me down
I got a one way  ticket to misery town
And I’ve arrived, and this is how:
I put a wasted wish in every breath,
I’m on a marvellous mission, dying a death
While I’m alive, here and now:

Bad’s coming back n’ it’s being renamed
It’s a fistful of fucks n’ you should be ashamed
And fucking lonely

Now I’m a headless chicken, crossing the road
And I can take this kicking as well as the load
Upon my back and on my brow
‘Cause life’s a happy trigger getting depressed
And love’s a friendly figure, enemy next
Getting high and coming down

‘Cause I’m a sheep, But I’m a dog,
And there’s a hell if there’s god
Where there’s a roast, well I’m a hog
It’s now or never you should know better
I’m not gonna change my mind
I’m leaving it all behind, I’m gone
I’ll see you in hell

Pointing the finger and placing the blame
Though it’s easy to do, is a dangerous game
Cropping the picture to fit with the frame
Is a twist of a knife that remembers your name
But you don’t know me, no, you don’t know

Bad’s coming back

You’re dirty now, and you’ll have to bath before you sleep
although the bad dreams are back to back, you’ll wake up clean
I wanna cry but you have to laugh like we don’t see
We all exist in the aftermath of all that’s been

For every question you’ve found to ask the answer’s NO
Before we’re sent to the ground to basque in glory’s glow

Everybody sees, everybody knows
No escaping inevitability 
Everybody knows, everybody sees
I just wondered when were you gonna tell me

Good Times, We’re on the wrong side
Lay right down for the long night

And in my last breath I’m onto you, because you can
It doesn’t mean that I want you to disrupt my plan

Choose a Side

Getaway from here…
There’s nothing here for you now let me assure you, just get away
Getaway from me…
There’s no-one here with me trying to forgive me, just get away

From death’s door, we sent forth a spent force to fail

Getaway from this…
Promise of a reason for dying on your knees ‘n just get away

From death’s door, we sent forth a spent force to fail

I don’t wanna throw another heartfelt fist
Into all your faces but I’m getting sick of saying this
I don’t wanna slit another half dead wrist
I know what my fate is, but I’m getting sick of saying this

<Henceforth, there’ll be no more endless waiting>

From death’s door, we sent forth a spent force to fail

I don’t wanna see another wasted wish
I’m blowing out your candles cus I’m getting sick of saying this
I’m the one who’s rotting in a roadside ditch
Twisted up and mangled and I’m getting sick of saying this

Dead now or dead later

Umbrella, hide from the weather, 
you can’t forever, make like you never
Have tried to measure up and do better
But failed, whatever, Hold it together

So I’m the treasure, buried forever
No map, or letter X in the desert
Just dirt, a heavy six feet of pressure
But show your mettle, Hold it together

Time’s waiting for no-one no more

So place your bet and play the forgetter
The odds have never been worse, whatever
You do, to get em up, there’s no heaven
Just hell for leather hold it together

I’m waiting for no-one no more

Either Way

Woken up, so damn cold, frozen to the core
We’ve all been here before, soaking up what you’re atoning for
Close your eyes, let it grow, follow what you fear
Into the dark, you’re more broken, but you’re not alone no more

Choking up, suppose some things seem easier to say
To someone that you’re sure’s bound to silence, unalived before
They open up, repeat what you need nobody to hear,
But they’ll come back before y’time is up to resurrect this score

Ghosts all night
Grow in your mind
No one hides
‘til rope pulls tight

Do you see, since you came along, what you have done to me?
Who cares? this last resort keeps your conscience in a bedside drawer
Can you sleep? Do your haunted dreams find secrets hard to keep
These horsemen, face the 4, make your bed, they’re only making sure

Four Horsemen

What am I to do? Why does it take so long?
Why is it there’s two things right and ten things wrong with us?
When is it this happened and where do we go?
Are there any answers here? And who would know more? More? More?

In a perfect picture see how good things looked
On a timeline long enough we deconstruct, and then
We forget all reason as these fables flow
Chopping down these trees and we neglect to grow more, more

Morning might not wake 
Until it’s too late
But every time I break, I waste it
With every chance i take, face it

I believe i told myself a million times
While you didn’t listen, I ignored the signs, and looked
Anywhere but backwards, down or straight ahead
If you paid attention maybe I’d have said more, more



Grow closer

Devils and angels abandon your shoulders
Straightjackets always we beg ‘em to hold us
Now for worse or for better
We must bleed for fearless leaders

Knowing the way to impending disaster
Only delivers you into it faster
Sheep may turn into shepherds
Bleating, heated, feeds this fever

Why do our secrets come back to reek this
Havoc on us
There’s nothing to see here… who wants to be here?
Nobody does

Hope will revoke your security clearance
Love will assist with it’s own disappearance
Always side with the lesser
Of two evils, needless feelings

Measuring dicks in units of thick skin
Your blades getting dull
Their kick in the balls says
That it was always inevitable

It’s Inevitable

I take a nap while you watch my bloodstain dry
I’ll analyse any dream with an untrained eye

So I awake to the tears that dare not fight
As you announce in a sneering bark and bite:

“My heart bleeds”, My scars read:
“These bars feed your dark needs”

Begin again, but the dust we leave behind…
Is never cleansed, and it blows into our eyes

My arm bleeds, My heart pleads,
My palm reads, alarm screams
I can’t speak, I can’t see
I can’t breathe, I can’t feel

Help isn’t coming

Will the rain ever slow down?
In the pain, we’ll never not drown
The truth, it lies on a distant shore
Past the horizon we’re falling towards

Don’t talk no more
Just cut that cord like
I’ve fought no war
For us and you’re right

Let the blame avalanche fall, cover us all
In the shame, we’ll suffocate now, smothered in in doubt
The truth will out when no-one’s around to hear
We can’t endlessly hold on to all we fear?

Don’t call no more
Just close that door like
I’ve drawn no blood
For us and what’s right
I’ll mourn your warmth
Goodbye and goodnight

just cut that cord

Pre-occupation, this wild imagination defies an explanation
The aspiration is joy and elevation, the truth is devastation

Happiness is a toy for love to chew,
Wait around for the day i can join this queue

Now, Inspiration escapes me when I’m sober, just knowing that it’s over
The situation defines me as I worsen, how not to be a person

Whilst I’m try’na decide who I should be,
The devil briefs his replacement about me
Promises in the bank, cash this cow
Saving up for the day I can break this vow…

One more time…

Hit me harder and kiss me quick, my lips are turning blue
Everything that was right with me is wrong because of you

Too masterful to scare, I’m last of all to dare waiting for a better day
Far past the point to care is there anybody there, what am I supposed to say?

Your observation confirms I’m in a coma, in knowing that it’s over
I see the futures that hear the lonely cursing “how not be a person"

know everything about nothing

I know what I really don’t wanna know
What’s yours was mine to lose
Shaking my head, looking at the “facts” saying “that’s not true”

Coming down, and I just wanna be alone
I’ve got no time to choose
One or all of the things that I needed but you won’t do

More, more, more

 I Look alive, but I don’t wanna be a clone
Or walk inside their shoes
Telling jokes that were bad to begin with as if they’re new

Well I’m smiling wide but I’m dying inside
cause you're one in a million, I'm one in a fu
Tility, questioning every suggestion 
That love made ‘cause pain knows me better than you

More, more, mourning your loss
More, more, more

Im your sheep, and your dog
There's hell if there's a god
Im a ghost, in fog,
Trying to tell tell you that
I loved you more, more, more!!

I’ll go where I really don’t wanna go
What else am i to do?
Make a rose tinted spectacle of me to look back through

Well I’m smiling wide but I’m dying inside
cause you're one in a million, I'm one in a fu
Tility, questioning every suggestion 
That love made ‘cause pain knows me better than you
I'm losing my head on the way into heaven
‘Cause all of the clouds that I’m sauntering through
Are thinning, and Gods only slimming the odds
When im thinking I'm winning, it's only to lose 

More, i loved you more 

Will this rain not slow down? In this pain we’ll all drown
Truth lies on a distant shore, know that I loved you more

Look Alive

I beg for silence and you push me away so i get my wish
You only hurt me in my favourite ways,  but who wrote my list

I pray for aliens to take me away to a distant space
You build around me an invisible cage so I know my place

Stand by my side like a thorn in my mind,
Leave me behind

Poetic licence is a dangerous game so i bite my tongue
If ambiguity is mine to retain then I’ll  fill  my lungs

Haunted by the memory of you
Tell me, really,who’s haunting who?

Mes amis, misery - don’t feel me now
Mes amis, enemy - don’t flame now
Mes amis,  memory - don’t fool me now
Pray, don’t you fool me now

While you personify the genres of rage that I won’t condemn
I circumnavigate the difficult stage between us and them

Mes Amis

You can tell me you don’t care,  
you can tell me that there’s nothing there
And leave me on the shelf
You can tell me you don’t feel anything for me but it’s not real
Your lying to yourself

When you go where you don’t belong
Do you know everything’s gone wrong?

You can tell you don’t care,  you can just ignore all my despair
As i waste my last breath
You can tell me, but in your eyes, i can see the truth begin to rise
You’re lying to yourself

When you go where you don’t belong
Do you know everything’s gone wrong?

And all of this goes to waste
And everything we know goes to waste
And I can take no more

Where you don’t belong

Day begins with bleary eyes that peer through the window
Looking out as the sun is smothered by cloud
Make a way down the stairs as dreams slowly dwindle
Ratified as the rain beats the ground

Some minutes more, I’m in the street the world pushing up my feet
As it turns, reaffirms that i am still here
Stationary and aimlessly, i stumble upon what seems to be
A divide, a way that I can disappear

And I feel myself drift away, and feel myself slip away

The people that all used to say hello have now gone away
To atone for the stones you’d never throw
Through red and black, the blue is back, the rust is crawling through the cracks
 As I walk through the world i used to know

And I feel myself drift away

The rain is cold and as we crawl into the dark
The chains are holding down the dawn, the hope to start
Over, but
The pain is older than the forming of the stars

Day is ending, who am i? As awake in my own head i lie
i forget myself for a moment as i think of love
But love is for the lovers, and the loving, and the loved
And a memory of a world that never was

And I feel myself drift away, and feel myself slip away

zenith

Blue Eyes

Those big blue eyes that show the love behind
Those angels smiles, all from your mother’s side
But still, you’re both my clones
Down to your very bones
And I see the very best of me in you

You’re part of me, through you I’ve learned to see
That I’m so blessed, I’ll do my very best
To be there when you’re scared
Ensuring your’e prepared
For everything this world can put you through

And I’m sorry if I make you cry, or when I make you sad…
But any time that I raise my voice, I’m just try’na be your Dad,
And I love you unconditionally…

In batman suits, shin pads and army boots
Playfights I lose, tag teamed, ones against twos, 
You know that pound for pound you make me truly proud
More so than anything i’ll ever do

And maybe I’ve been away too much, never there to hold your hand
As you’re taking your first few steps but I hope you’ll understand
That I love you unconditionally

Those big blue eyes that show the love behind
Those angels smiles, all from your mother’s side
I’ll keep them close to me
And swear to always be
There to help with everything you do
When you need me to

Blue Eyes

There’s no time like now

Got to be what you need
I cannot live a life alone
That Constantly wants of me
Only to wake up to face the endless pain

Wallow

Dead to me said to me
“Something awaits in the night, unknown
Endlessly”, when you see
No more than steps you retrace can yet remain

Why, when, who, what, where, but no not how

Climb up high, and only see the clouds
Forming over head and all around
Wait this out when there’s no time like now
Pick me up to watch me fall back down

Can 2 wrongs make a right tonight?
Once your’e inside there’s just no way out

Wallow

Through the tears, can you see the rain?
Through the hurt, will you feel the train?
You’ll never forget it, or live to regret it,
You know love will eat you alive if you let it
Filled with hate and all the weight
Of all you dare not contemplate
Lay down on the rails

Through the grapes, can you taste the grain?
Through the screams, can you hear your name?
You’ll never forget it, or live to reset it,
The truth is whoever’s you’re will to tell it
You’re fascinated by the rate
At which it all becomes too late
Lay down on the rails

When that chosen trains in motion
Let emotions wait
Disconnect from what’s expected
Just accept your fate

Railz

First question, take a guess
How d’ya make my life’s work count for less?
Take over, make a mess
Pickin’ all the pockets of my emptiness
I wanna love you but i always find
this cure for happiness, i’m falling into decline
Enlighten me or prove the darkness right
Living in hope that every morning might.. decide…

Seconds out now answer me
How are you so happy in a minor key?
Take over, shake the tree
Every apple tastes like misery
I wanna love you in a different time
Forever clocking off or falling into rewind
In the simplicity of black and white
I’d have to colour our chances slight… Tonight…

Well it’s getting too late in the evening 
and we’re going nowhere
With nowhere to be
And i don’t know what you think you’re feeling
And feelings don’t know what to do with me

Wasting ways I wait ‘til mornings
Frozen golden glow
Creeps through cracks like early warnings
Heads up, comedown, no… Surprise

It’s easy to hate what you don’t understand
You’re wishing me dead but you’re holding my hand
I know you could draw me a line in the sand but you don’t
Struggle for breath ‘til you’re feeling the squeeze
While love letter paper is killing the trees
To get to the honey you’d care for the bees, but you won’t

Is it ever too late in the evening 
To search for some meaning
To get through the night?
And drink my way into your dream in
The absence of reason
I can do but try

Headz

I get my sharpest knives out
To separate the skin
Upon a skull, from eyebrow
Until below the chin

So i can look like someone
Because behind the eyes
Whatever was that clung on
Is heading for demise

I let catharsis wait, down
I bury deep within
The many sparks of hate, now
Can i, alone, rescind 

The serotonin ransom
So i devote the grin
To any graves I danced on
As if i hate to win

Watching bloated corpses warming
Choking on the smell
Of those strong opinions forming,
Based on nothing, well… just DIE

“That’s the power of fear..
And y’always fear what you don’t understand”

Should i pretend i need this
As if saw the light?
‘Cause we can all play Jesus
And be a parasite

Clench my fists in early warning
It’s too soon to see
Out of these two factions warring
Which one fights for me

Tuck your tailz between your legz
And say not one word more
Your tongue wagz, but only begz
For me to end you or Just DIE

Tailz

Come n do life n know you wont go free
how do you like it now you know your real enemy’s unseen? Why
Gimme a knife, y'know a ghost won't bleed
What if i like it and i hope your fear energy Might feed mine

If only God could be here now
to watch the got-nots slowly drown

Liberty dies upon a bended knee,
How paralysing do you want this feeling to be? 
Happier times, i know you don't know me 
Nobody rise, are you surprised my tears would agree, i'll need time

So long as God can’t see me now
I'll make this hard and on this mound
I'll choose to die…
So turn a blind eye

Sticking a pick in your head a violent spree
Waits in Wings while on a stage plays out bon amis
Sick of your trickery, how you seem so sweet,
Buried alive but I believe my peers would agree, i'll be fine

I swear if God could see me now
He'd Watch me force that feeling down
And cram my name
Into the same grave

Fear Energy

I remember once upon a time when, 
Never ending, baby you and i were dreamers…
Were dreamers

Two of us just living on a shoestring
Splitting whatever little we had between us…
Between us

It’s time that we talked, things that we need to understand
We followed a path, but it’s nothing like what we had planned
All that we are, pieces of plans our pasts had made
Covered in crumbs of the design from which we strayed
It’s time that we found whatever promises remain
Possible and whether to break them all again

Do you still believe that we can make it now?
Can we start again and turn it all around?
Do you still believe that we can make it now?
I can listen up if you can hear me out…
While the truth is hanging heavy in my mouth
Building up forever, now it’s pouring out…
Do you still believe that we can make it now?

Though we laughed our happy ever afters
Slip away so slow
Are we past our happy ever after?
I don’t know

If only…
…there was still a chance that we could make it now

Talk (if Only)

My Old Man

My old man’s a loser, with a dick on his head
He’s got no mates, and he masturbates to his mum, but she’s long dead
My old man’s pathetic, and even though he’s had
6 kids in all, 5 boys and a daughter, no-one calls him DAD

My old man, I’ll wish him well
When he chokes on a dick in hell
I’ll laugh at all his tears as he
Sucks out the devil’s HIV

My old mans amazing, his lungs are turning black
So it’s getting hard to breath… oh, he might be a paedo
Lost his teeth to crack
My old mans a hero, but if you’re feeling bored
You twat him in a fight in the middle of the night
When you’ve just kicked down his door

Wakey wakey fuckface falls
In artex ceiling, woodchip walls
That pasty waster can’t be saved
As fortune slowly digs his grave…

Don’t you just wanna be
Top to toe in denim
Just like him
Suckin’ his girlfriend’s cock

My Old Man

Hate, now supposing there'll be no way out… fight to death, how do you get so bold?


Fateful succumb to all your darkest doubt, 

dead, more or less, how did you get so cold


then when your head says to your heart “its over”, tryna forget your name

Was ever said, there's not a moment sober

Left to allot the blame 


frozen, alone below the cold hard ground…

worms round your bones, how do you get so old?


So, what d'ya know? What's the endgame now? bleed, blow for blow, this sorrow's barred no holds…

How did you not get told…


Your gun and my head, placing upon those shoulders… a trade off… regret for blame

Soon to be dead… Like a devoted loner…

Follow me with your aim


Follow…


"We are so completely lost. as people. as a people. in absence of a direction of our own, we become part of the queue. part of the crowd. without any dreams to truly call our own, we blindly follow. mindlessly follow. aimlessly follow. hopelessly follow. we follow..."

Follow

It's kinda funny that you'd see me as your adversary 
When everything you think about you is imaginary 
I look around for any reason but i haven't any
imagination to imagine any cause

But the effect is ever evident, look in the mirror
And Looking back at you’s a loser, looking like a winner
I dunno who you think you're tricking, you're a caterpillar 
Whatever wings you said you had were never yours

whatever traces remain of why and where…
whoever lives through the day will find an end…

Is it a bird? Is it a plane? Or is it a deployer
Of parasites to parachute into your paranoia
I'll see your innocence and raise your ass another lawyer
to illustrate you an illusion of remorse

So i give in and offer nothing of an opposition
and resurrect the machinations of a politician
Who'd take a piss on any wish, I set off on a mission
A moratorium, a Settle of the scores.

If it survives through the war, to fight again…
for our lives from before, we'll die event…ually 
So why…
So why…
So why…

Can i begin again? A lookalike, a visionary?
I'll never be the man i was but i remember when he
Was in a pound but i was never really in a penny
I never said, but i was waiting for the pause 

You're in the middle of a monologue, a malady, a
Way to forget the many miseries that happened here
And in the end the opportunity'll disappear 
Below the battle, and the bellowing applause

So I'll scratch away all the scars from my skin
And bury the evidence deeper within 

Moratorium

I waited and waited and waited for you
With nowhere to go, and nothing to do,
I Hoped for a light from my place in gloom
And prayed for a dream, resigned to resume the count
Slaughtering sheep, counting their carcasses, trying to sleep,
Aloud, blood on my feet, this path that I tread can be never complete

I waited and waited and waited for you
With nowhere to go and nothing to lose
I wasted the day, loved and hated for two
Embracing the here, but doomed to refuse the now
What do i do? Creatures of old crawling over the new
And how far can i go farther away from what I’ll never know?

So raise your glass and now your voice
Let’s hear your reasons to rejoice
I’ve got none, and i’m not one
So clamber out above the noise
When out the prams come all the toys
While what’s wrong is I’ve got none, 

Take back that the night, and all that it saw
Take back the surplus of drink
Take back this headache, these vague memories
Oh make me unable to think

Take back the slur, resulting regret
Take back the excess of pain
Take it all back, all that I’d never need
To ever remember again

So raise your hopes beyond the sky
Dare you share your reason while
I've got none? I’m long gone
So while you start to make amends
With all your family and friends
I’ve got none, I’m not one 
of 
you

Slaughtering Sheep

What i didn’t know then I’ll never know now
If i never get up I’ll never get down, oh
I wet my bed over nothing or whatever you said
If i lay here too long I’ll settle & drown

Lay down, sleep tight, weighed down, all night

If a nobody knows, who’ll listen when warned?
Make a wish and it goes “I’d never been born”, so
I let my head fall asunder, I’m an easily led
Idiot and I’m soaked but happy and warm

Can we not start again, It’s the end of the end…
Now we know, tell me when, just let go, just descend, so low 

Anything i might know’ll unravel in time
To eliminate yours i separate my woe
I’ll sell your hell for the pennies that you drop in this well
I don’t know if it’s dark or whether I’m blind

Can we not start again, It’s the end of the end…
No more time, just descend, it’s the end of the end, oh no

Well, I hoped somehow for a chance to start this again…
But i realise now we are at the end of the end


The end of the end

No recording studio... no sound engineers... nothing more than the instruments & vocals recorded directly into an Ipad... all songs written and performed solely by one guy... me!!!

Hopefully you enjoy the brand of melancholy you'll find here... if inclined to listen to multiple tracks, please use the playlists and listen to the tracks in the order and groupings intended... the songs all interlink and are best heard as the playlists are ordered.

Keep Listening, and please... do it through headphones or good speakers... it sounds dire through phone speakers!!!

Rob James

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