Background: This track describes a person who is simultaneously the center of everything wonderful while leaving the lives of those around them in disarray.  What can appear like fireworks from far away may actually be destructive. 

[Verse 1]
From afar — a celebration
But up close — a detonation
Velvet voice, smoke-screen disguise
You kissed the crowd, then scorched the skies

Once so celestial
Now terror-estrial
Glitter bombs and broken vows
You light it up, then burn it down

[Pre-Chorus]
They say you shine like starlight
But they don’t see the fallout
You laugh while hearts combust
Your love turns steel to rust

[Chorus]
You’re having a blast —
While the world turns black and blue
Laughing in the crash
Of the ones who once loved you
Fireworks that never fade
But leave a crater where they land
We’re all in your blast radius
While you’re dancing through the damage

[Verse 2]
As you bat those pretty lashes
I’m stumbling through the ashes
To the beat of a fucked-up memory
Still ticking like a timepiece in me

At the center you won’t find me
Just echoes in the periphery
You were the apex of attention
Now you’re the source of ill intention

[Pre-Chorus]
They called you divine, electric
But couldn’t see the exit
You whisper “freedom” through the flame
But leave a path that none reclaim

[Chorus]
You’re having a blast —
While the world turns black and blue
Dancing on the past
Like it never burned for you
Toxic glow, seductive grin
You blow it up, then start again
We’re all in your blast radius
While you’re high on your own sin

[Bridge]
No remorse, just celebration
Every scar a new sensation
Tears in technicolor rain
But you keep lighting the champagne

You never looked back once
As we turned to smoke and dust
You called it evolution
We called it ruin

[Final Chorus]
You’re having a blast —
While the world turns black and blue
Spinning through the aftermath
Like destruction looks good on you
The closer we stand, the worse we fall
You smile and detonate us all
We’re ghosts in your blast radius
While you party through the fallout

[Outro]
Oh, so lovely (you)
So deadly (true)
The firework we never knew
Would end in this much blue

Blast Radius

Background: This track describes the parasocial relationship that often forms between an audience and the star. Historically, this type of relationship could be seen with movie stars and musicians. This track is a modern take on the social media aspects of that same phenomenon where the exchange of emoticons and emoji's are like a form of wordless, pantomime theatre.

[Verse 1]
I curate every sigh,
Stage-lit and sterilized,
A pixelated lullaby
For you to fantasize.
I slip into your silence,
A ghost in your applause,
No strings, no real defiance—
Just sympathy on pause.

[Pre-Chorus]
I see you scroll, I feel you stare,
This isn’t love, it’s solitaire.
You’re dreaming someone always there—
That someone isn’t real.

[Chorus]
It’s a parasocial pantomime,
You clap, I fake the perfect line.
I’m not yours and you’re not mine—
Just actors trapped in rhyme.
Echo chamber heart, replay my part,
Affection's just a scripted art.
We fall in sync, but never start—
In this parasocial pantomime.

[Verse 2]
You hashtag me "authentic",
While I rehearse your name.
I know just how to bend it—
Your empathy’s my game.
You crave a shared epiphany,
But I'm a one-way screen.
My soul’s behind a paywall,
And your love’s a routine.

[Pre-Chorus]
You're every comment I curate,
A feedback loop that masquerades—
As fate.

[Chorus]
It’s a parasocial pantomime,
You clap, I fake the perfect line.
I’m not yours and you’re not mine—
Just actors trapped in rhyme.
Echo chamber heart, replay my part,
Affection's just a scripted art.
We fall in sync, but never start—
In this parasocial pantomime.

[Bridge]
Lights up—
I cry on cue,
Bleed just enough
To comfort you.
Cut! Retake.
I own your ache,
But none of this is true.

[Breakdown]
This is not a love song.
This is not a dialogue.
This is a well-optimized mirage.

[Final Chorus]
Parasocial pantomime,
You weep, I sell another line.
I’m not yours and you’re not mine—
But don’t we fake it fine?
Echo chamber heart, role-play the spark,
An algorithm hit its mark.
You feel me deep inside your dark—
But I was never there to start.

[Outro]
(Just an echo... echo... echo...)
Of the love you gave away.

Parasocial Pantomime (Echo Chamber Heart)

Background: Imagine Bowie and a New Romantics hybrid time-traveling to France in the early 1800's. The song title Saboteur is an ode to the myth of workers throwing their shoes (sabot) into the gears to break the machine/automation, hence the word Sabotage. Saboteurs can be revolutionaries who carry out their action in style. 

[Verse 1]
Neon clock, assembly hearts
Punch-in dreams, chrome-blue starts
Monochrome streets, I break the blur
Rouged up lips, black demure
Epaulets, sharp velvet cure
I’m the pause button—call me saboteur

[Pre-Chorus]
Tick—tock—glitch in the regimented sky
Catwalk over crosstown lines
I dress like a question, answer’s “why?”
To feel the city skip a time

[Chorus]
I’m your Saboteur (haute couture)
Throw my shoe in the gears—hear the future slur
Stop the machine so a heartbeat’s heard
Runway on the factory floor, I’ll make it purr
Provocative boots, marching through the whirr—
Click, clack—sabotage—bonjour, Saboteur

[Verse 2]
Powdered nerve, lacquered calm
Safety pins as lucky charms
Pleats like razors, seams like vows
I kiss the siren, kill it now
Thigh-high manifestos, lace that bites
I stall the engine just to light the nights

[Pre-Chorus]
Metronomes drown in velvet smoke
My je ne sais quoi—strikes, then spoke
A wooden whisper in the cogs they built
(“Sabot,” darling—shoe) let the belt tilt

[Chorus]
I’m your Saboteur (haute couture)
Throw my shoe in the gears—hear the future slur
Stop the machine so a heartbeat’s heard
Runway on the factory floor, I’ll make it purr
Provocative boots, marching through the whirr—
Click, clack—sabotage—bonjour, Saboteur

[Middle-Eight / Bridge]
Freeze the line, strike a pose
Stop the world—I want to pose
Gloves of silk, intent of steel
Turn off the grind so we can feel
If progress never asks what for—
I’ll be the lock on every door
Break the tempo, keep the tune
Waltz the gears beneath the moon

[Post-Chorus]
Kick—click—clack, let the city breathe
Flash—frame—black, watch the power leave
Hold that hush like a perfect blur
Say my name—Saboteur

[Verse 3]
Brocade storm in a mirrored hall
Spindle tongues begin to stall
Bias cuts and borrowed time
I stitch a riot down the line
When fashion’s weapon meets the nerve
The grand machine learns how to swerve

[Final Chorus]
I’m your Saboteur (haute couture)
Throw my shoe in the gears—hear the future slur
Stop the machine so a heartbeat’s heard
Runway on the factory floor, I’ll make it purr
Provocative boots, marching through the whirr—
Click, clack—sabotage—bonjour, Saboteur

[Outro]
Hush the hammers, hush the roar
Boots on steel—then nothing more
Neon blinks, the night’s couture—
World on pause, your Saboteur.

Saboteur (Haute Couture)

Background: Like parallel lines, sometimes the lives of two people are moving in the same direction and often in the same circles, but convergence is never a possibility. So close in proximity and direction, but destined to forever be apart. 

[Verse 1]
You cut the room on a diagonal grin
I trace the tremor of your blushing skin
We’re pulling pulses from the same bassline
Two bright markers on the same skyline
You look once—subtle flickers in reply
I look twice—tell myself don’t try
We match footsteps like a well-tuned pact
Same tempo, babe, just different tracks

[Pre-Chorus]
Every night we almost make a shape
Close enough to breathe it, never brave the break
We line up pretty for the camera flash
Then duck the moment, pull the safety latch

[Chorus]
We run side by side, never overlap
Same beat, same heat, same thunderclap
In rhythm, in rhyme, in mirrored acts
Same road, same speed—different tracks
We flirt with the edge, then we reel it back
A whisper from a kiss, but it fades to black
In rhythm, in rhyme, in mirrored acts
Same road, same speed—different tracks

[Verse 2]
We share a compass with the north worn thin
Your north is mine, but the door stays pinned
I hear your laugh like a distant sign
Billboard promise on a highway line
We’re city lights in a windshield blur
I mouth your name and you mouth mine—sure
We almost cross at the cul-de-sac
Spin in circles, then we snap right back

[Pre-Chorus]
Every night we almost make a shape
Close enough to breathe it, never brave the break
We stage an ending we can’t enact
Curtain calls without the third-act crack

[Chorus]
We run side by side, never overlap
Same beat, same heat, same thunderclap
In rhythm, in rhyme, in mirrored acts
Same road, same speed—different tracks
We flirt with the edge, then we reel it back
A whisper from a kiss, but it fades to black
In rhythm, in rhyme, in mirrored acts
Same road, same speed—different tracks

[Bridge]
Call it almost, call it déjà vu
Paper dolls that never cut through
We trace a future in a pencil line
Then blow the graphite like a party sign
Close like echoes in a marble hall
Touch the air and swear we felt it all
Your shadow kisses mine—impact refracts
And just like that, the moment retracts

[Breakdown]
Side by side (side by side)
Time after time (time after time)
We aim, we align—then we pull the slack
Heart says go, head says keep it intact

[Final Chorus]
We run side by side, never overlap
Same beat, same heat, same thunderclap
In rhythm, in rhyme, in mirrored acts
Same road, same speed—different tracks
We flirt with the edge, then we reel it back
Postcard love with the postage stacked
In rhythm, in rhyme, in mirrored acts
Same road, same speed—different tracks

[Outro]
Lights change—green to gold to black
You go forward, I don’t look back
Still moving, still tuned to the same soundtrack—
Same road, same speed… different tracks.

Different Tracks

Background: The title of the track refers to the emotional flatness that often follows the end of relationships with the realization that one has lost their identity.  The feelings that once carried genuine weight have unconsciously given way to superficial, performative acts. When one is fortunate, this initial, emotional numbness can transform itself into the clear-headed resolve and rediscovery of one's self---which, at its core, is primary to existence.      

[Verse 1]
Plastic cups, I’m nursing water, playing hostess to my doubt
All the jokes feel dubbed and distant, like a sitcom with the sound turned down
Every grin’s a paper lantern, pretty, thin, and close to fire
You ask, “Why aren’t you laughing?”—I say, “I am, I’m just tired”

[Pre-Chorus]
I’ve got a poker face for punchlines, a deadpan for the dance
If joy’s a loaded question, I’m refusing it the chance

[Chorus]
Flat mirth sobriety, hold my gravity
I’m not chasing loves that forget me by the dawn
Dead calm inside of me, sharp-edge clarity
I won’t fake a shimmer just to play along
If the room needs noise to feel alive
I’ll be the quiet that survives

[Verse 2]
All that glittered turned to bitter—on the floor and in my lungs
Every high came with a hang, every chorus cost a tongue
So I traded roam for focus, traded flares for steady light
Now my chuckles come in lowercase, but they fit my mouth just right

[Pre-Chorus]
I don’t miss the laughing gas, the helium in every breath
I can smile without the mask and call that mercy, not a death

[Chorus]
Flat mirth sobriety, hold my gravity
I’m not chasing loves that forget me by the dawn
Dead calm inside of me, sharp-edge clarity
I won’t fake a shimmer just to play along
If the room needs noise to feel alive
I’ll be the quiet that survives

[Bridge]
I used to fizz and overflow, a glass that never touched the lip
Now I savor every slow hello, every honest, unlit quip
Keep your sparkle on a leash—mine walks home with me at night
I’m a lighthouse in a storm of neon, blinking steady might

[Break]
No more canned applause, no more staged delight
If my laugh is small, it’s still mine tonight

[Final Chorus]
Flat mirth sobriety, hold my gravity
I don’t need the sugar rush to prove that I belong
Dead calm inside of me, sharp-edge clarity
Call it underwhelming—baby, that’s my favorite song
If the room needs noise to feel alive
I’ll be the quiet that survives

Flat Mirth Sobriety (Hold My Gravity)

Background: In observing some relationships, there is sometimes the dynamic where two people appear to be tailor-made for one another initially before evolving into a "too big to fail" conundrum where the symbiosis of joined existence is essential for survival---however good or bad that may be.   

[Verse 1]
I wear your shadow under my skin,
Feed on the silence we’re drowning in.
Every moment,  borrowed breath,
Life on loan, a pact with death.

We’re a system wired to break,
Living on the give-and-take.
Tear apart, and both collapse,
Hold too tight, and we won’t last.

[Pre-Chorus]
You’re the anchor, I’m the tide,
Dying slow but staying tied.
No escape, no perfect end,
Only ways to break, not mend.

[Chorus] 
We're a fatal fusion,
Living graves we’re choosing.
Cut the cord—it kills us fast,
Keep it tight—we’ll never last.

We're a fatal fusion,
Poisoned veins of ruin
Every path is compromise,
Every choice is how we die.

[Verse 2]
Your hunger lives inside my chest,
I can’t survive without the rest.
But every drop you take from me
Leaves us both in poverty.

[Pre-Chorus]
You’re the anchor, I’m the tide,
Dying slow but staying tied.
No escape, no perfect end,
Only ways to break, not mend.

[Chorus]
We're a fatal fusion,
Living graves we’re choosing.
Cut the cord—it kills us fast,
Keep it tight—we’ll never last.

We're a fatal fusion,
Poisoned veins of ruin
Every path is compromise,
Every choice is how we die.

[Bridge] 
Sever me—watch me fall.
Keep me near—drain us all.
Either way, we’re not alive…
Choose the blade, or bleed with time.

[Final Chorus] 
We're a fatal fusion,
Living graves we’re choosing.
Cut the cord—it kills us fast,
Keep it tight—we’ll never last.

We're a fatal fusion,
Poisoned veins of ruin
Every path is compromise,
Every choice is how we die.

Fatal Fusion

Background: I wrote this track from the POV of someone who gets their thrills by living through the lives of others.  Upon first glance, this person is the stalwart companion, but, in truth, they are a vampire mainlining the energy of others.  I chose an upbeat, breakbeat approach here because these personalities are often disguised as the loudest cheerleaders. 

[Verse 1]
I wear your stories like designer clothes
Step in your spotlight, nobody knows
Every triumph, every sin, I borrow
Living today on the edge of tomorrow

Glass of champagne that I didn’t pay for
Dreams on display through somebody else’s door
All the risk and none of the shame
I take the pleasure, you take the blame

[Pre-Chorus]
I never dive, I just observe
I take the thrill I don’t deserve

[Chorus]
Vicarious— I live through you
Every heartbeat, every rendezvous
Vicarious— it’s all I need
A secondhand life is first-class to me
Vicarious— I take the ride
Your reckless freedom, my place to hide
Vicarious— I watch, I feel
Through borrowed moments, it all seems real

[Verse 2]
Your lovers call, I answer the phone
A voyeur’s kingdom, but never my own
Your scandals whispered in candlelight
I taste your danger without the fight

Dancing in mirrors, rehearsing the part
A proxy existence, a rental of heart
I never gamble, I never fall
I just collect it and claim it all

[Pre-Chorus]
I never risk, I never bleed
But I devour your every deed

[Chorus]
Vicarious— I live through you
Every heartbeat, every rendezvous
Vicarious— it’s all I need
A secondhand life is first-class to me
Vicarious— I take the ride
Your reckless freedom, my place to hide
Vicarious— I watch, I feel
Through borrowed moments, it all seems real

[Bridge]
Behind the curtain, I’m safe in the shade
But in your chaos, my fantasies parade
I am the echo, you are the sound
I’m never lost, while you spin around

[Final Chorus]
Vicarious— I play your game
Every victory, I wear your name
Vicarious— a life deferred
A stolen script, every line rehearsed
Vicarious— it’s who I am
A shadow dancing, a lifelong sham
Vicarious— I’ll always be
A ghost who thrives on your energy

Vicarious

[Verse 1]
Mirror talks in riddles,
Tells me I’m divine.
Powder on the fractures,
Cracks between the lines.

[Pre-Chorus]
Practice all my alibis,
Stories stitched with jagged ties.
Say I’m fine, I’m bulletproof—
But the echo sounds like truth.

[Chorus]
Kiss me with a poison gloss,
Shine it sweet, but it cuts across.
Every word’s a velvet noose,
Silken touch, but I bleed right through.
Fake salvation tastes like sin,
Dress the wound, but it festers in.
I’m addicted to the gloss you give—
The lie I die through just to live.

[Verse 2]
Smiles are sharpened weapons,
Polished for the show.
I carve a little heaven,
But bleed beneath the glow.

[Pre-Chorus]
I’m the fraud and I’m the priest,
Blessing wounds that never cease.
Kiss the venom, call it sweet—
Fake the prayer, repeat, repeat.

[Chorus]
Kiss me with a poison gloss,
Shine it sweet, but it cuts across.
Every word’s a velvet noose,
Silken touch, but I bleed right through.
Fake salvation tastes like sin,
Dress the wound, but it festers in.
I’m addicted to the gloss you give—
The lie I die through just to live.

[Bridge]
Shattered glass beneath my skin,
Truth leaks out, I drink it in.
Gold can’t mask a gaping wound,
Shine it bright, but it’s my tomb.

[Final Chorus]
Kiss me with a poison gloss,
Hold me tight, then let me cross.
Every vow’s a loaded gun,
Pull the trigger—it's never done.
Every word’s a velvet noose,
Silken touch, but I bleed right through.
I’m addicted to the gloss you give—
The lie I die through just to live.

Poison Gloss - House Edit

Background:  Despite the understandable, logical end of some relationships and friendships, I wrote this song from the perspective of someone who continues to replay the memories in a vain attempt to finally get it right yet the same unfortunate conclusion remains. 

[Verse 1]
The loneliest men in the world take the hardest falls
Chasing dreams down empty halls
I thought the silence would echo loud
But it just slipped into the crowd

[Pre-Chorus]
I didn’t expect your leaving to feel so mild
Like I’d lost the memory, not the child
Guess I’d turned that page long ago
Filed it away in the overflow

[Chorus]
Past, Tense — it lingers in the afterglow
Every story I tell still ends the way you go
My metaphors are highways fading into blue
Another universe where I still speak to you
Past, Tense — and the tension never ends

[Verse 2]
I replay your silhouette in the fading light
Every mile behind me, every restless night
Every script I write bends the truth I know
Still you’re the shadow I can’t let go

[Pre-Chorus]
I keep drawing maps of where we’ve been
Tracing the lines but there’s no way in
The joke is bitter, the cut runs deep
Even in silence, I lose my sleep

[Chorus]
Past, Tense — it lingers in the afterglow
Every story I tell still ends the way you go
My metaphors are highways fading into blue
Another universe where I still speak to you
Past, Tense — and the tension never ends

[Bridge]
Maybe I loved the dream more than the man
Holding on to smoke, reaching for sand
Lonely hearts gamble love away
And I’m left with nothing but words to say

[Chorus – Final]
Past, Tense — it lingers in the afterglow
Every story I tell still ends the way you go
My metaphors are highways fading into blue
Another universe where I still speak to you
Past, Tense — yeah, the tension never ends

Past, Tense - Chill Version

Eyebrow arch, a question
Upturned lip, a suggestion
You never lie, you just imply
Like poison in a confession

A gentle voice with razor teeth
You frame the crime, then hand me grief
“Are you okay?” you softly sigh
While feeding me disbelief

You light the fuse, then watch me burn
Say I overreact, say I never learn
Pull the thread, but blame the seam
You’re the nightmare in my dream

[Chorus]
It’s all smoke and mirrors, baby
You love the show, don’t you?
Pulled my heart out of context
Just to paint your version true
You play the saint with blood-red hands
Then beg for grace you never grant
It’s all smoke and mirrors, darling—
But I see right through

You dress up guilt in satin sheets
Say I’m too loud, too weak, too deep
Your silence is a sharpened knife
That cuts me while you sleep

You twist the past, rehearse the lines
A method act, refined with time
Your gaslight’s on, the stage is set
But this time, I won’t forget

You blur the facts.....then call me cold
Say I’m unstable, hard to hold
But I was whole before you came
And left me drowning in your name

[Chorus]
It’s all smoke and mirrors, baby
You love the show, don’t you?
Turned my truths into riddles
Till I questioned what I knew
You smile and sip your alibi
While I unravel, asking why
It’s all smoke and mirrors, darling—
But I see right through

[Bridge]
You said I was “too sensitive”
While burning down my evidence
You wore my doubt like fine cologne—
Tell me, do you love the scent?

I watched you cry on center stage
Applauded by the mess you made
But curtains close, and guess who’s left?
Not your next supply, not your perfect prey

[Chorus]
It’s all smoke and mirrors, baby
Your mask is cracked, it’s true
You choreographed my breakdown
Now there’s no encore for you
Go write your script for someone new
Your tragic charm’s worn clear through
It’s all smoke and mirrors, darling—
And I see right through

Smoke & Mirrors (You Love The Show)

Background: After seeing so many retrospective summer recaps at the conclusion of August/September, the recent chill in the air and appearance of autumn leaves put me in the headspace to write this track. Summer can often bring with it heightened possibilities followed by unwelcome conclusions.

[Verse 1]
We laughed like the world was ours to burn, Cheap wine stains on well-worn shirts.
Every night was a silver film, Projected dreams we never learned.

[Pre-Chorus]
But calendars don’t lie, And I can’t rewind July.

[Chorus]
The end of the summer feels like goodbye
To the reckless glow in our younger eyes. 
The 2am dancing, the endless tomorrows, Turn into silence, routines, and sorrow. I’ll carry the echoes like salt on my skin, The last light of summer will never come again.

[Verse 2]
 Idle gossip and gleaming eyes
We stitched our futures out of sky.
Group dinners lit by candle flame, We swore forever—none remained.

[Pre-Chorus] 
The laughter’s fading thin, It’s time we all begin.

[Chorus]
 The end of the summer feels like goodbye To the reckless glow in our younger eyes.
The 2am dancing, the endless tomorrows, Turn into silence, routines, and sorrow. I’ll carry the echoes like salt on my skin,
The last light of summer will never come again.

[Bridge]
 We were kings and queens in basements,
Daydream prophets with no patience.
Trading secrets in the dark,
Like tattoos on a borrowed heart.
But the music stops, the lights go black, No one tells you youth won’t come back.
I’d give the world just to pretend, But chapters close, and summers end.

[Final Chorus]
 The end of the summer feels like goodbye… To the endless versions of you and I.
I’ll whisper our names to the cool night air, Knowing the next time, it won’t be there.
The last light of summer… fading within,
A shadow of laughter, a ghost on my skin.

Last Light Of Summer

[Verse 1]
Foresight tells me, don’t engage
A fleeting spark, I turn the page
Past the thrill of your tragedy
Straight ahead—my remedy

[Chorus]
Temporary fascination
Momentary fixation
Your dismissal, my protection
No need for resurrection

[Verse 2]
Foot soldiers on the same old street
Battles won where I lost me
They succeeded, I disappeared
But I returned, you’re not revered

[Chorus]
Temporary fascination
Momentary fixation
Your dismissal, my protection
No need for resurrection

[Bridge]
Smoke and echoes, praise you chase
I keep my shadow, guard my name
You walk the path they walked before
But I’m not the ghost you’re looking for

[Chorus]
Temporary fascination
Momentary fixation
Your dismissal, my protection
No need for resurrection

Temporary Fascination

Poison Gloss - Extended Shine

Background: This track describes those in our world (relationships, work, etc.) who refuse to entertain change. As in contracts, one is given the right of first refusal. In a sense, it also becomes a "rite" of resistance to the opportunity to evolve.


[Verse 1]
They gather ’round like it’s sacred text
Quoting glory days they’ve never left
Rewind, replay, the same old tale
Polished bronze on a rusted grail

They say, “It worked back then, so why not now?”
Like progress is just some kind of vow
They never meant to follow through
Just keep it comfy, keep it cute

[Pre-Chorus]
Oh, bless the tribe that loves tradition
But don’t you dare suggest revision
They brand new fear like it’s a curse
And claim they’re guarding something worse

[Chorus]
You get the rite of first refusal
To stay the same, to fake renewal
You’ll light a candle, kill the fuse
Say “we’re just cautious, not obtuse”
You wrap your fear in vintage charm
While evolution sounds alarm
Go clutch your past like a well-worn jewel
But history doesn’t suffer fools

[Verse 2]
They call it wisdom, I call it stall
You built a fortress out of protocol
“Change is chaos,” they softly moan
While sculpting statues out of stone

You’re students of the past, you say
But only when it goes your way
Selective memory in bloom
A mausoleum in every room

[Pre-Chorus]
Oh, bless the ones who worship lore
Then bolt the future’s open door
You call it love, but it’s defense
Against the threat of common sense

[Chorus]
You get the rite of first refusal
To crown regression as approval
You chant your slogans, cracked and cold
Pretending rust is still pure gold
You wear the past like velvet gloves
But choke out anything that shoves
A mirror up to all your rules
Yeah, history doesn’t suffer fools

[Bridge]
You say it’s legacy, I say it’s fear
You ghost the present year by year
While change is knocking loud and raw
You’re too busy painting folklore on the wall

[Breakdown]
“Just how we’ve always done it”—sweet lullaby
But nothing grows where nothing dies
You fear the unknown, dress it up in grace
But all I see is a stagnant place

[Final Chorus]
You get the rite of first refusal
But don’t confuse it for a crucible
You twist nostalgia into law
Then blame the cracks you never saw
You kiss the past like it’s divine
But every shrine becomes a mine
And when the world rewrites its rules…
History won’t suffer fools

Rite Of First Refusal

Background: This may sound strange, but I wrote this track from the POV of a person whose heart is like that of porcelain tea cup---delicate and to be handled with care. When grasped too firmly, it will break while spilling out its contents.  The intention behind any design (tea cups or hearts) can only hold true within an environment that allows it to maintain its "structural" integrity.  Manufactured fate via control ultimately results in a loss of purpose.

Master Slowly Sips (Just His Grip)

BACKGROUND: This track describes a relationship where one person sees the relationship as a pattern of circumstance and nothing more; whereas, the other person sees something beyond the pattern---as if binary code finally takes on a life of its own.

[Verse 1]
She maps the heart like ancient bones
Charts love in stratified unknowns
A carbon date on every kiss
She catalogs what others miss

She’s not one for sweet clichés
She studies hearts like DNA
Her notes are sharp, her gaze precise
She doesn’t gamble — she rolls the dice

[Chorus]
X’s and O’s, 1’s and 0’s
She decodes the highs and lows
Love’s a lab, and I’m her test
She dissects my every guess
Data points on passion’s prose
X’s and O’s, 1’s and 0’s

[Verse 2]
She said attraction’s not by chance
It’s pheromones and circumstance
She kissed me like a case study
Filed my soul under “Somebody”

Her love’s a lens, a microscope
She breaks me down in waves and scopes
I’m more than myth, I’m more than lore
She’s digging deep to find the core

[Chorus]
X’s and O’s, 1’s and 0’s
In her mind, it all just flows
She tracks emotion like a tide
Love, observed and quantified
No fate, just cause — and she knows
X’s and O’s, 1’s and 0’s

[Bridge]
She traced my fingerprints in time
Like artifacts of love’s design
Not fragile hearts, but coded dreams
That speak in logic-laced extremes

Still I hope beneath her charts
She’s hiding soft, unmeasured parts
A place where science gently slows
To whisper sweet X’s and O’s

[Final Chorus]
X’s and O’s, 1’s and 0’s
Her heart beats in ratios
But I see sparks behind her eyes
A truth no theory can disguise
Love’s not solved — it only grows
Between the X’s and the O’s
Beyond the 1’s and all the 0’s

Heart Coded (X's & O's...1's & 0's)

[Verse 1]
Neon shadows, kiss the wall
Every heartbeat feels too small
Plug me into someone new
Your reflection will get me through

I’m a passenger on borrowed time
Living secondhand, but it feels sublime
Your fever dream, I’ll claim as mine
Echoed voices in 4/4 time

[Chorus]
I don’t live, I just relay—
Your desire is my decay.
I don’t move, I just translate—
Your excess becomes my fate.
Proxy pulse, electric chain,
Pleasure borrowed, pleasure pain.

[Verse 2]
Plastic halos, acid rain
Bliss is pleasure, dressed as pain
Through your nights I synthesize
All your sins behind my eyes

Binary lovers, zero-one
I’m the copy that comes undone
Streaming visions, counterfeit fun
Vicarious heat from a borrowed sun

[Chorus]
I don’t live, I just relay—
Your desire is my decay.
I don’t move, I just translate—
Your excess becomes my fate.
Proxy pulse, electric chain,
Pleasure borrowed, pleasure pain.

[Bridge]
Dial the night to repetition…
Slide the body into submission…
Every thrill I feel is stolen—
But the beat keeps me golden.

[Chorus]
I don’t live, I just relay—
Your desire is my decay.
I don’t move, I just translate—
Your excess becomes my fate.
Proxy pulse, proxy prayer,
You burn bright and I’m not there.
Proxy pulse, proxy pain,
Your obsession through my veins.

Pleasure Borrowed, Pleasure Pain

[Intro]
“Places, everyone...
Cue the charm... mask on, mind off…”

[Verse 1]
Manners on the mic, but it’s theatre in the flesh,
Smiling like a stage light—burning under breath.
Gesture equals virtue? That’s a brittle proposition—
Every bow hides a blade, rehearsed with precision.

Clapping hands like cymbals—
They love the act, not the ache.
Polite applause for the fractures,
But no one sees the quake.

[Pre-Chorus]
Spotlight fades to moral gray,
Lines get blurred where the critics stay.
You think it’s warmth—but it’s decorum’s sway,
Painted grace in a moral play.

[CHORUS]
Don’t mistake manners for kindness, babe—
It’s all rehearsed, it’s all parade.
Don’t confuse good will with gain—
That’s performance art, that’s the game!
Step to the mark, then fade—
Mask slips down, truth delayed.

“That’s the game! / That’s the game!”

[Verse 2]
I’m the script that rips itself mid-scene,
The actor who forgets what kind means.
Empathy’s currency—spent in applause,
Glitter on the grin, nails in the claws.

Framed intentions, polished for review,
Critics love the costume—never the view.
So I mime sincerity with practiced breath,
Art imitates life, till it mirrors death.

[Bridge]
“Don’t mistake… manners… for kindness…”
“Intentions look noble under spotlight heat—
But backstage, it’s just survival in a tailored seat.”

[Final Chorus]
Don’t mistake manners for kindness, babe—
It’s all rehearsed, it’s all parade.
Don’t confuse good will with gain—
That’s performance art, that’s the game!

“Mask up, move on”

“Exit, pursued by etiquette…”

Performance Art (Manners For Kindness)

[Verse 1]
Your phone lit up — what a tragic glow,
Didn’t mean to look, but instincts know.
A text popped up — “Can’t wait tonight ”
Guess your “overtime” has quite a bite.

She called you “babe” — with a double heart,
You called it “banter,” you’re not that smart.
If lies were art, you’d win a prize,
Your canvas drips with cheap goodbyes.

[Pre-Chorus]
Oh, Mr. “Loyal,” Mr. “True,”
Your moral compass spun askew.
You said “forever,” bless your wit —
You can’t even commit to it.

[Chorus]
I read receipts, I read your face,
You’re all excuse and aftertaste.
You scrub your phone, you clear your feed,
But guilt’s a ghost you can’t delete.

So text her back, oh, don’t delay —
Just copy-paste what you used to say.
I’ll raise my glass and toast defeat,
To heartbreak served with read receipts.

[Verse 2]
Your playlist’s trash, your socks don’t match,
Your charm’s on lease, your truth detached.
You said, “She’s just a friend,” oh sure —
You two look friendly on that floor.

You told me “chill,” I told you “bye,”
Then screenshot proof for alibi.
Your toothbrush? Gone. Your hoodie too.
Don’t worry — I disinfected you.

[Pre-Chorus]
You’re such a poem — badly rhymed,
With all your lines half plagiarized.
You quote romance like a tweet,
But skip the part that’s called discreet.

[Chorus]
I read receipts, I read your type,
You sell tall tales, but I don’t buy.
You block the truth, I’ll stream the lie,
Your face looks best minimized.

So text her now, rehearse you cheat,
You’re all repeat, repeat, repeat.
I’ll raise my glass, reclaim my seat,
To heartbreak served with read receipts.

[Bridge]
She’ll get your “good morning” copy-paste,
I’ll get my closure — such good taste.
Your love’s on sale, it’s half-off charm,
Returns accepted, no alarm.

You’ll call it “honest,” I’ll call it “camp,”
You’re half a man and twice the stamp.
I’ll stream my tears through Auto-Tune,
And drop this track by Sunday noon.

[Final Chorus]
I read receipts, I read your flaws,
You’re not a man — you’re Santa Claus.
You show up once, then disappear,
With tales you tell to half the year.
So text her “baby,” text her “sweet,”
Recycle lines, your greatest feat.
I’ll drop the mic, complete the beat —
My heartbreak ends on read receipts.


Read Receipts

The Lie I Die Through (Just To Live)

[Verse 1]
Swipe right, swipe wrong, it’s a clearance rack of men, All promising commitment, none of ‘em can spend. One’s got charm but he’s bankrupt in the brain, Another’s got ambition but it’s circling the drain.
So I stroll the aisles with my coffee cup, Try a few on but they never quite zip up. A little flirt, a little smirk, a little déjà vu
Returns accepted? God, I wish I knew.

[Pre-Chorus]
I’m not bitter, just fiscally wise, Love’s inflation caught me by surprise.

[Chorus]
I’m a window shopper, baby, credit declined, Browsing through hearts but not signing the line.
No more loans on emotion, no interest on my mind, I’m a window shopper, love
And I’m doing just fine. 
[Verse 2]
He said, “I’m different,” with a secondhand grin, But I’ve seen that label — it’s wearing thin. His talk was rich, but his effort was poor, And I’m not financing a fixer-upper anymore.
I like the look of that tall one there,
But I’ve learned to check the warranty, not stare. If it’s “some assembly required,” I’ll pass,
My heart’s no DIY from bargain trash.

[Pre-Chorus]
I’m not jaded, I’m just in repair, Cupid’s store’s got faulty wares.

[Chorus] I’m a window shopper, baby, credit declined, Browsing through hearts but not signing the line. No more loans on emotion, no interest on my mind,
I’m a window shopper, love — And I’m doing just fine.

[Bridge]
Once I maxed out on devotion, Paid in tears and cheap cologne. Now I keep my options open
Just admiring from the zone.
Maybe someday I’ll invest again,
But not until they fix the men.

[Final Chorus]
I’m a window shopper, baby, credit declined, Got the freedom receipt and peace of mind. I’ll keep my heart in layaway till the right design,
I’m a window shopper, love — And I’m doing just fine.

Window Shopper

Background: I wrote and produced a downtempo version of this track that is found on my page which sounds more polished, but I originally intended this track to be slightly more uptempo with some vocal effects.  This iteration comes closer to my original intentions.  

[Verse 1]
The loneliest men in the world take the hardest falls
Chasing dreams down empty halls
I thought the silence would echo loud
But it just slipped into the crowd

[Pre-Chorus]
I didn’t expect your leaving to feel so mild
Like I’d lost the memory, not the child
Guess I’d turned that page long ago
Filed it away in the overflow

[Chorus]
Past, Tense — it lingers in the afterglow
Every story I tell still ends the way you go
My metaphors are highways fading into blue
Another universe where I still speak to you
Past, Tense — and the tension never ends

[Verse 2]
I replay your silhouette in the fading light
Every mile behind me, every restless night
Every script I write bends the truth I know
Still you’re the shadow I can’t let go

[Pre-Chorus]
I keep drawing maps of where we’ve been
Tracing the lines but there’s no way in
The joke is bitter, the cut runs deep
Even in silence, I lose my sleep

[Chorus]
Past, Tense — it lingers in the afterglow
Every story I tell still ends the way you go
My metaphors are highways fading into blue
Another universe where I still speak to you
Past, Tense — and the tension never ends

[Bridge]
Maybe I loved the dream more than the man
Holding on to smoke, reaching for sand
Lonely hearts gamble love away
And I’m left with nothing but words to say

[Chorus]
Past, Tense — it lingers in the afterglow
Every story I tell still ends the way you go
My metaphors are highways fading into blue
Another universe where I still speak to you
Past, Tense — yeah, the tension never ends

Past, Tense - Uptempo Remaster Version

[Verse 1]
She walks in, and the room finds breath again,
Like she cracked a window in the ocean’s basement.
All the shadows scatter when she turns her face in
Yeah, she’s gravity with grace in
The pressure lifts where she goes.
People say she’s quiet, but they don’t know:
There’s a whole world blooming in her undertow.
In the stillness, she somehow makes colors grow
Glowing where no light should ever go.

[Pre-Chorus]
And I dive in deeper just to see
How she makes the dark feel heavenly.

[Chorus]
Mariana, she’s the spark in the deep end
Lighting up the places that the sun won’t reach yet.
She turns the cold into a heartbeat, heartbeat
Yeah, she’s the warmth underneath the concrete.
Mariana, she’s the glow in the deep end,
A lantern in a world that forgot how to breathe in.
With her around, even the abyss feels golden
Mariana, Mariana, deep but never broken.

[Verse 2]
She laughs, and it rings like sonar does
Finding hidden things no one ever picks up.
Every lost part of me starts to drift up,
Like I’m rising through her quiet love.
She’s the hollow at the bottom of the light,
An impossible mix of low and bright.
Where the map says “Nothing,” she paints sky
A cosmos in the tide.

[Pre-Chorus]
And I dive in deeper just to see
How she makes the dark feel heavenly.

[Chorus]
Mariana, she’s the spark in the deep end
Lighting up the places that the sun won’t reach yet.
She turns the cold into a heartbeat, heartbeat
Yeah, she’s the warmth underneath the concrete.
Mariana, she’s the glow in the deep end,
A lantern in a world that forgot how to breathe in.
With her around, even the abyss feels golden
Mariana, Mariana, deep but never broken.

[Bridge]
She says the dark’s not scary when you learn its names,
When you listen close to all the pressure’s pain.
She holds the silence like a sacred flame
And suddenly I’m not afraid.
Every fear I buried far below
She finds, and somehow makes it glow.

[Chorus]
Mariana, she’s the spark in the deep end
Lighting up the places that the sun won’t reach yet.
She turns the cold into a heartbeat, heartbeat
She makes the drowned parts feel complete.
Mariana, she’s the glow in the deep end,
Showing me the beauty where the break begins.
With her around, even the abyss feels golden
Mariana, Mariana, deep but never broken.

[Outro]
In the darkest water, she teaches me to see
Mariana… bringing life to the deep.

Mariana

Heartbeat (Under My Feet)

Rule Breaker

[Verse 1]
I keep pouring
Into a cup with a fracture
Every refill
Just leaks out faster
You say “stay patient”
Like patience compounds
But the interest drops
Every time you come around

[Pre-Chorus]
Used to bloom from nothing
Now it costs me everything
Every step toward you
Feels less like anything

[Chorus]
Diminishing marginal concern
I give more, I get less in return
Love used to multiply
Now it just burns
I keep raising the stakes
You keep lowering the yield
Same equation
Different way to discern


[Verse 2]
I spend hours
Buying silence with effort
All this damage
For a fraction of comfort
I bleed time
You skim the surface
I pay in full
You pay in cursive

[Pre-Chorus]
What once fed me
Barely keeps me alive
I’m investing in us
But the numbers don’t lie

[Chorus]
Diminishing marginal concern
Every promise thinner than words
I give love, I give pain
I give nerve
I keep doubling down
You keep folding away
Same demand
Less reason to stay
Different way to discern

[Post-Chorus]
More heart
Less back
More truth
Less fact
More me
Less us
More cost
No trust

[Bridge]
I remember when it echoed
When my touch had weight
Now I scream into cushions
Just to negotiate
I don’t want interest
I just want return
But every extra inch
Is a lesson learned

[Break]
No reward
No rise
Just loss
Over time

[Final Chorus]
Diminishing marginal concern
I’m exhausted from what I’ve earned
Love shouldn’t feel like
A job that hurts
I gave more than I had
Till I ran out of worth
Same you
But the value reversed
Diminishing margin…concern

[Outro]
I stop giving
And suddenly
There’s nothing left to lose


That’s how I knew
That’s how I knew

Diminishing Marginal Concern - Radio Trip

[Verse 1]
I keep pouring
Into a cup with a fracture
Every refill
Just leaks out faster
You say “stay patient”
Like patience compounds
But the interest drops
Every time you come around

[Pre-Chorus]
Used to bloom from nothing
Now it costs me everything
Every step toward you
Feels less like anything

[Chorus]
Diminishing marginal concern
I give more, I get less in return
Love used to multiply
Now it just burns
I keep raising the stakes
You keep lowering the yield
Same equation
Different way to discern


[Verse 1 - repeat]
I keep pouring
Into a cup with a fracture
Every refill
Just leaks out faster
You say “stay patient”
Like patience compounds
But the interest drops
Every time you come around

[Pre-Chorus]
Used to bloom from nothing
Now it costs me everything
Every step toward you
Feels less like anything

[Chorus]
Diminishing marginal concern
I give more, I get less in return
Love used to multiply
Now it just burns
I keep raising the stakes
You keep lowering the yield
Same equation
Different way to discern


[Verse 2]
I spend hours
Buying silence with effort
All this damage
For a fraction of comfort
I bleed time
You skim the surface
I pay in full
You pay in cursive

[Pre-Chorus]
What once fed me
Barely keeps me alive
I’m investing in us
But the numbers don’t lie

Diminishing marginal concer

Every promise thinner than words
I give love, I give pain
I give nerve
I keep doubling down
You keep folding away
Same demand
Less reason to stay
It’s not….no concern

[Post-Chorus]
More heart
Less back
More truth
Less fact
More me
Less us
More cost
No trust

[Bridge]
I remember when it echoed
When my touch had weight
Now I scream into cushions
Just to negotiate
I don’t want interest
I just want return
But every extra inch
Is a lesson learned

[Break]
No reward
No rise
Just loss
Over time

[Final Chorus]
Diminishing marginal concern
I’m exhausted from what I’ve earned
Love shouldn’t feel like
A job that hurts
I gave more than I had
Till I ran out of worth
Same you
But the value reversed
Diminishing margin…concern

[Outro]
I stop giving
And suddenly
There’s nothing left to lose


That’s how I knew

Diminishing Marginal Concern - Triptastic Mix

A minimalist techno track with a  spoken-word Russian bridge in honor of episode 6 :)

I'll Meet You At The Cottage

[Verse 1]
You press your finger to my mouth
Like truth’s too loud inside this house
I say it softly, say it kind
Still you flinch like it’s a crime

You call it “help,” you call it “tone”
Say I should’ve left it alone
Even healing feels obscene
When I’m doing it without you seeing

[Pre-Chorus]
Every win I keep is small
Still you feel it like a fall

[Chorus]
You don’t want to hear me
You want me quiet
You don’t want the proof
You want the silence

Every step I take
Feels like I’m cheating
You keep score on love
Like it’s competing

[Verse 2]
Your phone hums low, it never sleeps
Whole lives told in private streets
You give them laughter, give them time
I get the end of every night

I wait until you’re almost gone
For something real to land upon
But habit sits where love once lived
And routine’s all you have to give

[Pre-Chorus]
You say I’m “changed,” like that’s the threat
Like growth’s a debt I shouldn’t get

[Chorus]
You don’t want to hear me
You want me quiet
You don’t want the truth
You want me compliant

Every breath I take
Needs explaining
You keep score on joy
Call it training

[Bridge]]
If I shine, you dim the room
If I bloom, you call it soon
If I speak, you say “not now”
If I’m well, you ask me how

Like it’s mine to justify

[Half-Chorus]
You don’t want me loud
You want me smaller

[Final Chorus]
You don’t want to hear me
You want the echo
You don’t want a partner
You want the tempo

I won’t live on
What you ration
I won’t starve
For your attention

[Outro]
I’m not winning
I’m surviving
And I’m done
Being muted

Muted

Music is one of my true loves. After having recently moved my crates of music across country from storage, I fear I have unearthed a long-dormant creative side.  Enjoy these meager attempts at organizing words and noise into something credible :)

MusicManOne

Pinned to spotlight

Popular tracks