if i dont stop being scared
will my prayers stop being heard 
pleas of a simple man
habitual sinner
all the dinners i prayed over 
get thrown up after dessert 
there go my blessings
i used up all the ink in every pen in this fucking house
and i still cant find the right words
to write this letter to ya
they might say i never knew ya
im probably a crash dummy
i might die trying on the search 
aint that ironic
a bad joke cuz the timing
was butchered 
and there was silence  
at open mic night i bombed it
you can hear the forks clink with the plates
i have this ever looming fear of going back to who
i was yesterday
its irrational i know
my grandma tells me 
im never as alone as i feel
she be preaching me faith
sometimes i act like i know
but i dont know shit
some nights

MYNAMEGABRIEL