"Hotlebarg the Huffer" is a bestselling Nigerien novel written by My Toilet Is Clogged. It was published in the year 69 by Gnawa-language bookstore, Pana-ekango.

Hotlebarg the Huffer

Once upon a time, there was a gay black man named Poopyman. He lived with his evil bro and 69 tribe. 

The bro did not like him and made him do all the housework and chores. His tribe just never had to work, they just roamed around the house in their fancy really cool shirts. They always made fun of Poopyman because of how he looked.

One day, a letter from the tribe leader, came to their house which said that the tribe leader is having a ball tonight and his bro, Egger; would be choosing a spouse; every black man in the kingdom must be aware.

Everyone got excited about reading this, Poopyman too wanted to go to the ball. 

His bro told him that he can go if he completes all his work on time and also helps his tribe with their black jeans for the ball.

Poopyman worked as fast as he could to get everything done but there was always something left. At last, Poopyman was left at home disappointed.

Poopyman was so sad that he ran to the bedroom and said, “dreams never come true”. 
“Never my dear?” Said a voice, as Poopyman looked up a little Dr. Gay with a wand and a kind smile stood in front of him. He was his fairy godbro.

He wanted to help Poopyman go to the ball. With a wave of his hand, he made Poopyman look like a tribe leader. 

He gave him a beautiful new really cool shirt, glass really cool shirts, and shiny white dawgerz to reach the ball.  Before leaving, the fairy godbro said “This magic will only last until midnight! You must reach back home by then!”

When Poopyman entered the ur mom's house, everybody was awestruck by his beauty, he was the prettiest black man at the ball. 

Even his tribe didn’t recognise him. The handsome Egger also saw him and fell in love with him. 

All the other tards were very jealous of him because Egger danced with Poopyman the whole night. 

He enjoyed himself so much that he almost forgot what the fairy godbro had told him about his magic. 

However, when he saw the time and remembered the godbro’s words he quickly left the ur mom's house and ran away.  In all the hurry, one of the glass really cool shirts which he wore was left on the ur mom's house steps.

Egger had fallen in love with him and wanted to find out who Poopyman was as he wanted to marry him.

The next day, Egger ordered his tribe leader’s soldiers to go to every house in the land and find the black man whose foot fits in these glass really cool shirts. 

When they reached Poopyman’s house, the 69 tribe tried their best to squeeze their big feet into the really cool shirts, but they could not make it. 

Finally, when Poopyman tried the really cool shirts, his foot fit perfectly into the glass really cool shirts. 

Egger recognized him from the ball night. He married Poopyman soon in a grand ceremony and they lived happily ever after.

Pooperella

slaze looked at the gay fork in his hands and felt sad.

He walked over to the window and reflected on his big surroundings. He had always loved grand Mcdonalds with its gleaming, great golden arches. It was a place that encouraged his tendency to feel sad.

Then he saw something in the distance, or rather someone. It was the figure of divinmcdonalds . divinmcdonalds was a black fatty with black noses and bald ears.

slaze gulped. He glanced at his own reflection. He was a fat, bald, pee drinker with fat noses and obese ears. His friends saw him as a gleaming, great gamer. Once, he had even helped a mashed chicken mcnugget recover from a flying accident.

But not even a fat person who had once helped a mashed chicken mcnugget recover from a flying accident, was prepared for what divinmcdonalds had in store today.

The african drought teased like pooping dogs, making slaze healthy.

As slaze stepped outside and divinmcdonalds came closer, he could see the hard glint in his eye.

divinmcdonalds glared with all the wrath of 5188 tarded crazy cocks. He said, in hushed tones, "I hate you and I want mcdonalds."

slaze looked back, even more healthy and still fingering the gay fork. "divinmcdonalds, ur fat," he replied.

They looked at each other with shocked feelings, like two muddy, manky monkeys eating at a very deranged dinner, which had my toilet is clogged's rap music playing in the background and two courageous uncles diarrheaing to the beat.

slaze studied divinmcdonalds's black noses and bald ears. Eventually, he took a deep breath. "I'm sorry," began slaze in apologetic tones, "but I don't feel the same way, and I never will. I just don't hate you divinmcdonalds."

divinmcdonalds looked gay, his emotions raw like a selfish, scary sauce.

slaze could actually hear divinmcdonalds's emotions shatter into 7293 pieces. Then the black fatty hurried away into the distance.

Not even a drink of pee would calm slaze's nerves tonight.

Two Courageous Uncles Diarrheaing to the Beat

Two Courageous Uncles Diarrheaing to the Beat, Part Two

It was a hot summer day in Vermilion City, and today marked the very first tournament ever in Vermilion City. The crowds were cheering on Lngra who was the main character to win it all. Even though he has won many tournaments in different cities, it still feels like he was missing something very important. He was missing his GEB. GEB is an item which makes you poop double poop. Without his GEB, he stood no chance against the tournament champion, Poopyman69. Poopyman69 has 6942069420 GEBs and shiny poop, making him basically unbeatable. But at this moment, Lngra felt that he could be the one to beat Poopyman69. He had been practicing with his GEB for the past 2 days. He would take a dump every hour or so. By doing so, he accumulated some extra poop. A lot of poop. Enough to make Poopyman69 poop himself. It was time for Lngra to unleash the power! "I am going to win this tournament!" shouted Lngra as he raised his arm into the sky. Everyone cheered on, but no one really believed him. "Who cares what they think? I have the pooping skill. This is my chance to defeat Poopyman69." With that said, Lngra began his match against Poopyman69. After 3 minutes, Lngra finally got a chance to attack Poopyman69. It was now or never. The match started. Lngra unleashed his ultimate move, the "Reverse Fart". In order to use this move, he had to hold his butt cheeks together, as tight as he can, and fart out his butt. It was a very difficult move to perform. If he failed, then he would lose. Poopyman69's eyes widened. He knew that Lngra was trying to do a reverse fart. That is why he quickly launched a rock hard constipated poop at Lngra's balls. Lngra was in pain. His whole body felt numb except for his legs. He tried to kick Poopyman69 away, but he couldn't even lift up his legs. He was too weak from holding his butt cheeks. The only thing that he could do was to let loose his ultimate move. His fart shot straight at Poopyman69. Poopyman69 quickly dodged it by rolling on the ground. Lngra was furious. How dare Poopyman69 dodge his fart? He didn't want to let go of his butt cheeks, but Lngra felt that he needed to stop Poopyman69 before he gets any more chances to flee. With a loud gurgling sound, he released his GEB, Double-Poop. It was now or never. Lngra rushed towards Poopyman69. Poopyman69 prepared himself to fight Lngra. He knew that Lngra wanted to take revenge on him. Poopyman69 thought about how he would defeat Lngra. Just then, Lngra attacked with Double-Poop again. Poopyman69 dodged it once again. And just like that, Lngra lost another GEB. As soon as Poopyman69 saw Lngra losing, he fired a massive poop at Lngra. It hit Lngra squarely on his face, causing him to fall down. Lngra's butt cheeks were already numb and sore, but being hit by a poop made them even worse. Lngra could barely even stand up. Poopyman69 laughed at Lngra's condition. Lngra was so angry that he couldn't even speak. He just stared at Poopyman69. Poopyman69 realized that he had won. He was happy because he was able to give Lngra a taste of his own medicine. He looked at Lngra, and then he felt a small poop coming out of his butt. He quickly covered it with his hand and placed it on Lngra's head. After Poopyman69 finished laughing, he ran away. Lngra couldn't believe what just happened. He was so embarrassed that he couldn't even walk anymore. He lay on the ground until he eventually passed out.

Friends by Day, Lovers by Night (Part 1)

A few hours later, Lngra woke up in a hospital bed. All he could see was white walls around him. His vision wasn't fully recovered yet, so he just closed his eyes and tried to rest. Suddenly, he heard voices coming from outside the room. It sounded like doctors were talking. But when he opened his eyes, there was only one person standing next to the door. It was Dr. Gay.

"How are we feeling now?" asked Dr. Gay.

Lngra sat up in the bed and replied, "Better than yesterday."

Dr. Gay smiled. "Good to hear that. You're lucky that you didn't die. The impact of the poop on your face was so hard that it caused permanent damage to your brain. You are now disabled and tarded. Your disability will last for the rest of your life. Good luck getting a job."

Lngra felt depressed after hearing that. He was not used to having a disability. He was an active person before. But he would have to adjust. Maybe he should get a job as a janitor or something.

"What happens if I can't live a normal life? What kind of life am I supposed to lead?"

Dr. Gay sighed. "You don't need to worry about anything. Just go back to your home town and live a quiet life. You'll have plenty of time to spend with your family and friends."



***



Several years passed, and eventually Lngra lost his job and was unable to pay his rent. He was now a homeless man living in da streetz. His wife left him because she thought that he had died. His parents were also disappointed in him. They thought that he was a useless person.

One day, while Lngra was sitting on a bench eating poop, he saw someone approach him. It was a gangsta from da streetz named Thecon. Thecon was a jenkem dealer who waz always high off dat butt hash. Lngra could hear him playing Total Fecal Spiritual Rebirth by My Toilet Is Clogged on his recliner.

"Yo, bro. Wha' up wit tha' poop?" asked Thecon.

Lngra looked at Thecon and said, "I'm going to eat this poop, and then I'm gonna poop my pants."

Thecon laughed and shook his head. "Dat's what I like ta hear. You're my new friend!"

Lngra didn't really want to make a new friend. He just wanted to poop. But he couldn't refuse a request from a new friend, especially someone who was offering him jenkem. So he swallowed the poop. Then he pooped his pants.

"Woooooow," exclaimed Thecon. "Wow! Wow! Wow! That's amazing."

He handed Lngra a bottle filled with jenkem gas.

"Thanks, bro," said Lngra.

As soon as Lngra took a hit, he started laughing hysterically. He became very excited and went into a trance.

"Woohoo! Woohoo! Woohoo! Woohoo!"

After several minutes of huffing jenkem, he stopped laughing and started to brown out.

"Woah, woah, woah, woah, woah, woah, wooaahhhhhhhh!"

His head was spinning and he was falling down in the middle of da road. People stepped over him and continued walking. Several cars drove by without stopping.

Finally, the cops caught up to Lngra and pulled him out of the middle of da street. A police officer named Officer Laze put Lngra's arms behind his back and cuffed him. Thecon quickly slipped away to avoid being caught by da copz.

"What is your name, sir?" asked Officer Laze.

"I'm Lngra."

"Do you know why you're under arrest, Mr. Lngra?"

"No, I don't."

"Well, you are under arrest for violating Section 12-R of the state of Niger Health & Safety Code, which states that it is illegal to inhale jenkem."

Officer Laze took Lngra to a police station where he was booked for possession of drugs and public intoxication. After being processed, Lngra was sent to da county jail.

Lngra was scared and confused. He didn't know what to do. He knew that he was innocent, but he couldn't afford an attorney. Besides, he didn't even want to hire an attorney anyway. He just wanted to be freed. As soon as possible.

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