huffing jenkem (jenkem) huffing jenkem (jenkem) huffing jenkem (jenkem)

Episode 1 - My First Experience with Jenkem

GUYS YOU WILL NOT BELIEVE WHAT I DID TODAY.

I farted. I was out in the garage playing around with an exercise ball, and then when I sat down with it, I let one rip. It was loud and scary sounding. I got so scared that I let out a squeal. My neighbor was out there, and he looked at me a little weird. He said I was coming over there to tell him to call the police. I just laughed and asked him if he wanted the neighbors to call the police to say there's a GIANT LIAR living across the street, but he says he doesn't care if they call. At least he stopped laughing at me after he heard me having a panic attack in his garage. Later on, a couple of the other neighbors came out and said the police were at my house for a call. I asked if they called me, and I was told no. I think they may have called my mom's boyfriend, who is on the police force. So, I wasn't in trouble for not telling the truth, but I wanted to call him and get all the details. He's just a nice guy. It wouldn't have been cool for the neighbors to be all "Oh, we're cops and we're writing you up for farting." And they wouldn't have talked about what they called about if the cops didn't talk about it. But it was funny to make a big deal out of a little fart.

Episode 2 - I Farted

CRACKER JOKES ARE NOT FUNNY GUYS. IF YOU SEE SOMEONE MAKING CRACKER JOKES, PLEASE MAKE SURE THEY ARE FIRED AND THAT THEY GET INTO THERAPY.

Links: https://www.linktr.ee/mytoiletisclogged

I have had many negative experiences with white people in my life. The most recent was my experience at the Philadelphia Eagles game. There were several white people around me who were speaking and joking about crackers. As my teammates would pass me on the bleachers, crackers were thrown at me. I am an African American. One of my teammates remarked that these crackers were falling in the cracker bowl where all of the food is served, which is approximately 30 feet from us. I don’t know what type of crackers they are, but they are nothing that a white person would eat.

The worst part is that they have no idea that their actions were racist. How do they treat black people? By throwing crackers. That is all that they know.

If you are white and think that cracker jokes are funny, then I suggest you think about how you would treat black people. They would not laugh at your cracker jokes. They would take offense and it would mean something to them. Your own personal reaction to their actions speaks volumes.

I wish people knew that cracker jokes are unacceptable and inappropriate. My advice to everyone is to always treat people with dignity and respect, no matter the situation or circumstances.

If I were a part of the Baltimore Police Department and I overheard someone saying cracker jokes, I would be outraged and I would try to seek justice for what they had said. I would want to know who they were. I would want to try and get them into therapy, if possible. I would demand that they are fired and I would make a concerted effort to expose what they are doing as an anti-black racism. I would make sure that people could see that racism exists and that these types of words are unacceptable and should not be tolerated.

Episode 3 - CRACKER JOKES ARE NOT FUNNY

Links: www.linktr.ee/mytoiletisclogged

I am addicted to McDonald's. I have gained over 42069 pounds in the last three days. I have eaten 69 Big Macs, 420 cheeseburgers, and 42069 McNuggets since yesterday morning. In the last day and a half, I have consumed over 2,000 calories. I am so fat right now it is unreal. But I don't care. I love McDonald's so much that I don't care about calories. I have no interest in working out. I don't care about the number on the scale, the size of my clothes, or my face. I will continue eating McDonald's until I die. And I am going to love it. i'm lovin it. get it because the mcdonalds slogan is i'm lovin it xd. anyway i'm glad that At least my stomach is getting bigger. I am going to die with a tummy bigger than the state of Kentucky. i swear to you guys i am going to eat 69 big macs right now. I know I am going to die of a heart attack but i will go to damn McDonald's and get one and no one is going to stop me

Episode 4 - McDonald's Addiction

BAWLZ: https://www.soundcloud.com/mytoiletisclogged/bawlz

These kinds of raps were a staple of my older mixtapes and I thought I could bring some of those vibes back. Obviously it wasn't the best idea to bring back a genre that most people seem to think is over or is a "hip hop tribute to the dead" (as he says). I wanted to do it but the dudes at this island died before I could finish the song so it got delayed. I only want to put out music that I feel like has substance and meaning to it. "BAWLZ" is in homage to some of the artists that have inspired me over the years and a homage to those individuals who have really shaped my life in regards to music, poetry and life in general. There was a few different versions but the song ended up fitting this course of the theme of the project. The song has a rock feel to it. I never really expected to work with a gay vocalist on the project so that was a fun surprise. I haven't worked with poopyman69 (producer) since my first mixtape and I am excited to be back with him. I really like his hip hop sound as well. I also had to bring on a new producer with my two favorite producers poopyman69 and egger joining me on the song. My team really can't get enough of me making this type of music and I am glad it is back around.  Anyway "BAWLZ" is out! Just click on the link to the song and you can hear it. I got more plans for mixtapes in the near future and I will be sure to drop another surprise for y'all. Happy listening!

Episode 5 - Analyzing My BAWLZ

SHARE YOUR TOILET CLOGGING STORIES: https://twitter.com/TheRealMTIC/status/1574217866886324224

Yo yo yo yo yo yo yo yo yo yo yo yo yo welcome back to another episode of the My Toilet Is Clogged podcast. I got a crazy story to share with y'all today. I unclogged my toilet. It was clogged with poop and pee. I didn't know what to do. It was so full of poop and pee that I couldn't poop in it. But then I had an amazing idea. What if i ate all the poop? Then I wouldn't have to flush the toilet. That's right. I ate the poop and it worked!  I ate all the poop. So the next morning I was out shopping for anything that would work. I got salad, ramen noodles, and mac n cheese. I put the mac n cheese and the salad in a Tupperware container and put it on top of my (vomit) flowing toilet. This is what happened:  As you can see, the Tupperware and the poop made a great combo. My body was just like 'YAY! FOOD! FOOD FOR YOU!'  So then I got rid of the salad and put it in the fridge because I was planning to get back to the Tupperware, but then I found out that the Tupperware had a clog too, but not as bad as my toilet. My other toilet had a clog too, but it was sort of self-cleaning.  So I'm like "SURPRISE!!!!!" And I put the toilet cleaner on my toilet and I went to school, but then the toilet exploded. There was toilet water all over my floor, a mini tsunami, a nuclear disaster, and now all my toilets have a giant hole in them.  I'll tell you this, a normal toilet repair guy told me that I had to fill up the toilet's tank with distilled water and let it sit for 5 days. But you guys, I don't have that kind of time. I can't let my toilet go any longer. So i just walked into my bathroom and ate all the poop and drank all the water on the floor.  It's ok, don't be scared. I don't know anything about toilet plumbing. All I know is that every time I talk about pooping and peeing I'm never alone. So welcome!  So tell me what you think about my adventures in toilet clogging! Tell me which story was your favorite and I'll tell you a story about my toilet opening up and peeing out all over my floor. That's the kind of poop and pee story I want to tell! So vote on my Twitter page (link in the description) and tell me your favorite poop and pee story.  Thanks for listening,  My Toilet Is Clogged  #burglife #damnitsgotyourmoney  #mycatisladygang

Episode 6 - I UNCLOGGED MY TOILET

The question I get asked the most is, "How do you make microwaves sexy?" Well it's actually pretty simple if we're just going to go by the rules that I lay out in my book, 'Sexy Microwave Cooking', but I'll give you one tip right now, use a timer!
Now let me start off by saying there are many different ways to have sex with a microwave. If you want to try to turn on the microwave then you might want to first test it out by putting some water in a cup or something similar. You don't want to put too much water as that will cause the microwave to explode which obviously would not be very sexy at all. Next, you should heat up your microwave for about ten seconds. That way if anything happens and you need to stop mid-way through you won't ruin the whole thing. Once you have done that you can proceed to take off everything else except for your clothes.
Now remember to keep the timer going until you hear the buzzing sound from your microwave. This will signal that the microwave is ready. Now, once the timer buzzes, carefully open the door and watch your lover's eyes light up when they see what's inside. It is recommended to leave the door open while having sex, however it is also important to close it quickly afterwards to avoid any accidents.
The next step is to lie down on the floor and place your body over top of the microwave. Make sure you have enough room to move around in as well as to get comfortable. Also, make sure you have plenty of space between you and the microwave because it gets very hot! After that, simply remove the top of the microwave and begin to have sex.
If you are using the microwave stand then you will probably need someone to help you lift it up. I recommend getting a friend or family member to assist you. While you two are lifting the microwave make sure that your mouth is placed directly above the microwave so that your partner can lick your poop. It is very important that they do this because they are delicious.
Next, start to slowly push the microwave against your body. There shouldn't be any problems doing this if you've warmed the microwave up properly. Just make sure your lover is prepared for the heat that they are going to feel. Remember to use lots of lubrication to make it easy.
Once you've pushed the microwave up against your body, it is time to start having sex. This is where it gets really fun! I recommend that you let your partner go down on your cock since it will be easier for them to do so that way. Then, make sure that you gently guide their head in a circular motion towards your balls. In addition, you should play with your balls too. As long as you both are having fun and enjoying yourselves then that is all that matters.
You can continue to use the microwave like this until your lover starts to poop. During this time you should also reach around and play with his poop. Be careful though, he might accidentally hit the microwave button and set the whole thing off. It is okay to laugh at this as it is usually funny.
Another question I get asked a lot is, "What do you do after having sex with the microwave?" Well, you can have more sex with the microwave! No matter how many times you have sex with the microwave it never gets old. You can even experiment with other things. For instance, you can try having sex with a stove or a vacuum cleaner. Just make sure that you stay away from electrical appliances as they can hurt you.
For all of these tips and tricks I recommend checking out my book, Sexy Microwave Cooking. I wrote it to help people better understand how they could have sex with the microwave. Hopefully, it will help you find new ways to have sex with the microwave.
So guys, here is the deal. If you are thinking about having sex with a microwave then you should definitely read my book. It contains everything that you need to know. I'm sure that you'll enjoy it!
Later! xdddd

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