out of my mind (prod. pilotkid)

face (prod. yogic beats)

tmr + euph (prod. alanfor)

try to be happy
honestly i'm even doing it now,
mom are you proud of me?
what the world could to your child...
i aint been balancing, i been falling down for a while,
try to be happy?
haven't done that shit while,
mom are you mad me?
supposed to be the man of the house,
but i don't wanna be, 
born to walk around w denial,
because im honestly, forced to walk around w a smile,
im in and out of, 
mom and dad prolly hating me now,
and i dont know, what im doing rn, is this a story or a show? 
i bet its putrid and foul at least,
thats what happened to me on that winter day last year, and there aint a soul that i told about how it get so weird,
and i dont know, what im doing rn,
is this a story or a show?
well, (well)
i dont know,
yeah, (yeah)

id do anything to get to where i was last year, and there aint a soul that i done told about, all my fears/
and i aint all about,
all the shit u said last year,
tf you talking bout?
i suicided im still here.

well do i gotta be?
theres someone else inside of me, i think..
at least i think so, yeah
----

try to be happy
honestly i'm even doing it now,
mom are you proud of me?
what the world could to a child...
i aint been balancing, i been falling down for a while,
try to be happy?
haven't done that shit while,
mom are you mad me?
supposed to be the man of the house,
but i don't wanna be...

do i gotta be?

try to be happy (prod. austin friel)

i say the same shit all the time,
im somebody thats on the tv,
u were looking so divine, wondering why u even need me,
i was often out of line,
i'm not a fisherman who spending all their time, by the ocean,
i was hoping for a guy, who maybe made me feel alive,
he wanna fuck, i wanna cry, i fall in love a lil much, ive had enough of all the lies,
ive turned to rust, im not a diamond in the ruff,
im more the type to fuck it up, 
im more the type that turn to dust,
but yeah i trust that were divine,

so, 
if i die today, ill find a way in another life,
ill find a way to be anything but whats right,
in everybody's mind, 
i mean i'll find a way to keep fighting,
but i dont wanna lie.. if i have to i will though,
if u would read between the fuckin lines,
u would see that everything is just designed, for me and u, and u and me to feel like just a nevermind,
i need reminders, rewinding, i'm leaving u behind,
ill never die, 
a real loser, how u fuck up suicide?
like how i fucked up u and i,
im going crazy it aint a sign,
i was certain, but now im certainly out of my fuckin mind,
the curtains closed on this suburbia and murdered me alive,
prefer to know none of what im doing, i do it on the fly,
this life a show and its my favorite, but its dated,
i dont watch it anymore, i missed too many episodes i shouldve pressed record,
i shouldve pushed the door open wide, now what im settling for?
a forecast of rain, and 4 days till your at heavens door
yo,

now thats rather optimistic, 
looking god in his eyes he asked me whats the 3 wishes; is this a joke? cus ion read social cues well,
he said well yknow, make do with what u got, yo
so sadistic
stfu
----

redosing, shit i hate being sober for a second,
blah blah, something something about depression,
i say the same shit all the time im somebody thats on the tv,
u could look me in the eyes ion think that u gon read me,
if u looked me in the eyes u could notice im not here,
i checked out a while ago, 
im asleep but im not dreaming.
im asleep and nature shifted me into the wrong frequence,
im addicted to, anything that make me feel different,
so i listen to u, u was really one of the 3 wishes,
but,
only in your existence,
so now im in the back of the whip w all the wrong bitches,
lateral passing the last job i had to smoke swishers,
but i cant stop, its not for me ive had enough of all of this monotony,
im bout to walk around the fuckin globe despite the knobby knees/
im awfully far away,
from all the shit that i could say,
i wanna say it to ur face,
mhm,

im- scared to stick to a topic i jump from place to place, 
even the words up in my mind are getting erased,
and w my purpose and design i think that i was led astray, the wrong way is all i know it feels like home to me so..

i used to always run away, 
now im standing here in place,

its time to go i never noticed how to stay

even if u die, dont die (prod. unguntaye)

im running outta time again,
i been getting high again,
if u could stay with me, id be complete 
believe ill die again,
if i could have another life align w my mother please, at least, 
i need somebody who could teach how to love and leave it all behind me,
trying not to cry i wonder why its all performity,
my stoneface a show, but it's stuck after too long,
on the way to being ghost again, somebody save my soul,
feel the lotion on my-
yo/
im overloaded, where im going? yeah
well tell me if u know,
cus i think i'm getting close,
i think i'm getting close 
yo
----

what tf am i doing?
(who knows?)
well i feel so alone...
(its true)
there's no one here but the music baby...
(yeah)
do u feel at home?
(no)
i know i dont...
i know i dont...
i know...
-----

im the type to throw away it all, its blasting off again,
ill do today just to play it off, yeah ill play pretend,
i used to say like anything, but nowadays i contemplate it on the fence,
i'm being taken with the wind,
im flat stanley sliding underneath the door i needa dip,
and what a whore!!
u would say to me if u knew what i did,
come on yo, that an unhealthy amount of sucking dick,
and better PAuSE
try to call my ass a faggot once again,
i need applause,
i need a fuckin friend,
i needed god, but he fuckin dead.

everybody...
in a single file line please.
ima kill myself if it means that i would die free,
i dont need no help, i needed help but now its all me,
i dont need no help i planned a funeral for john breen,
i dont tell a soul, that its really been a long week, and,
all i do is hit the bowl, tryna feel good,
and i been on a roll, but honestly im really hiding,
im only on a roll, on a roll bc of highs, and the lies i been wondering if anyone will find me,
(no way)
i never coloured in the lines, rip the paper off the page just to see if theres a sign,
ill sign a dotted line,
ill find, a shoulder i could cry on,
in time, i'll find, somebody i'll rely on.
yo (yo)
-----

what tf am i doing?
well i feel so alone...
there's no one here but the music baby...
do u feel at home?

home (prod. dexter yu)

i wanna fight for your attention again,
i aint been as clever w the shit that im writing,
cause now i only write to get shit out of my head,
im sorry to my mom and dad i know that you didnt like it,
"cause why this child always in and out of their head?"
"the second that you was born, we were stuck in a crisis"
i feel like im the reason mom and dad are depressed,
if they could see who i could be, i dont think that they'd like me,
but they always figured i was the best,
its gotta be that im the problem i wish i was a lightbeam,
and i wish i was everything you wanted, at best
im just a burden that makes it so,
you'll never sight see,
hey, its maybe just a part of the quest,
no disrespect,
i hate my name, i know that it was my grandpa's
i really wanna change it, but im scared of the rest,
i fear my father will remember that, i was bad son.

----

i wanna fight for your attention again
i wanna fight for your attention again, yeah

and i dont what i should say to you, 
and i dont what i should say to you, 
i wish that was but i wasnt able to, i wasnt capable,
and as a family who we praying to? for real,
and as an animal society's got me living life in fear.
im always faded i dont know if i could live another year, i know that life is just amnesia i aint nothing like whats here,
its kinda weird i feel defeated though.

----

i wanna fight for your attention again,
i aint been as clever w the shit that im writing,
cause now i only write to get shit out of my head,
im sorry to my mom and dad i know that you didnt like it,
"cause why this child always in and out of their head?"
"the second that you was born, we were stuck in a crisis"
i feel like im the reason mom and dad are depressed,
if they could see who i could be, i dont think that they'd like me,
but they always figured i was the best,
its gotta be that im the problem i wish i was a lightbeam,
and i wish i was everything you wanted, at best
im just a burden that makes it so,
you'll never sight see,
hey, its maybe just a part of the quest,
no disrespect,
i hate my name, i know that it was my grandpa's
i really wanna change it, but im scared of the rest,
i fear my father will remember that, i was bad son.

beloved son (prod. bardo)

now they asking how to get to where i am.
i understand that u dont really wanna wait, but theres a time and place for everything, and something in the way.
aint it funny how it happens every single fuckin day?
and my imagination laughing at me when i feel ashamed, and my disaster is a pageantry, i laugh away the pain, 
to shed a tear properly, 
talk to me, all i see a lot of fear mongering, 
i believe, that it's bleak,
and its real-

stfu.
the fuck up.. the fuck up.. the fuck up.. yeah
used to love ya, we fuckin, but im feeling nothing,
we fuckin, we fuckin, i cant even cum.
u was, 
using me the way im using these drugs.
u was,
abusing me i think u thought it was fun, yeah uh,
used to think that being used was being loved; i was never confused i always knew what i was.
w my knees. 
on the ground. 
by the pews.

open up-

i wanna leave.
i wanna leave.
i wanna leave.
i wanna run.
i wanna leave.
i wanna run.
dont wanna freeze but wtf. 
and what is evil? what is evil?
is it me? cause im the one?
and what is evil?
is it me?
cause i'm the new mary magdalene, i'm walking half asleep,
cause im the new clay cassius, try to catch me but u cant, im george shrinks.
everyone forgot me but its probably what i need,
i dont wanna be forgotten i forgot to let it be
yo

beloved son (prod. bardo)

naakwood

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