Original Track Demo #6: It has been a long and weary two weeks ): 

Written by: nalchi ldeter
Audio: recorded on GarageBand, iPhone 7
Date: released on YouTube on Jan 17, 2020

Lyrics:
where do you hurt, babe
why does your heart ache
are we slowly falling sick
in this unfamiliar place

where do you hurt, babe
you're makin' my heart break
why are we sleepin' while awake
moving backwards, looking straight

where do you hurt, babe
was it something i said
can all of the debts of your sleepless nights ever be paid
tell me how much does it take

where do you hurt, babe
i wish i could help make
your aching heart better but i know the battles we fightin' are inside our heads

known you for years but i don't know a thing
about what you fear and about what you're thinkin'
when the lights go out and the world falls asleep

could you tell me who, why, how, what and when
you look away and i thought that i’ve lost a friend
when i comfort you, you comfort me instead

we all once did something we’d always regret
some things we will never forget

let’s live our lives with choices we’d never regret
do things we won’t wanna forget

what are we chasin'
we'll end up with nothing
when we lie in our graves
and become earth, trees and waves

when this life's over
will we be together
does anybody know for sure
will my soul find you right here

does it really matter
i’ll only remember
for as long as we live, we'll do all that we can
to live as a better man

know that i love you
can i possibly show you
if you've listened to the end then you'll understand
with you, i don't need to pretend

where do you hurt, babe (demo)

Original Track Demo #7: Reverted back to using the live loops available in GarageBand on iPhone! Also, attempted to try recording in the toilet at 12.56am, but my brother needed to take a dump!!! XD

Written by: nalchi ldeter
Audio: recorded on GarageBand, iPhone 7
Release date: 25 January 2020

Lyrics:
don’t wanna hold a wedding
don’t wanna raise a child
don’t wanna fake my feelings
don’t wanna keep this job
just wanna live honestly
not live for someone else
don’t wanna hold a wedding 
just wanna live right now

living life in dreams
am i done wishin’ for things to change 
for things to change

‘will you marry me’
i’m afraid you’ll marry an idea
someone not real

i just love the way you are
with you, there’s no room for my scars
to get attention that they seek
to create tension they don’t need

but i’m afraid that i’m a fraud
the scars creep back to find some fault
with stories that i just stirred up
to justify my messed up parts

don’t wanna hold a wedding
who am i to raise a child
don’t wanna fake my feelings
don’t wanna keep this job
just wanna live honestly
not live for someone else
don’t wanna hold a wedding
just wanna live right now

will you answer me
is there nobody who feels the same 
who feels the same

i’m my own enemy
can i count to three and say goodbye
to all my lies

here’s a story barely told
one that people rarely know 
most judge based on what they see
not what’s in reality

but you’re a special kind of soul
you think of different ‘possibles’
a gentle heart and patient mind
a loving touch, forgiving eyes 

you’re my remedy
you proved to me that i’m more than my scars
more than my past

don’t need a hundred eyes 
only to scrutinise our love
our love’s enough

to my favourite people in the world
who know me best and watched me grow 
i think i feel more comfortable
to live a life i’ll be proud of

there’s nothing more that’s left to do
but live a life we’d continue
and do the things we wanted to
not wait till 2022

don‘t wanna hold a wedding
who am i to raise a child
i’m terrified of living
you make it right somehow
just wanna live where you live
not with somebody else
don’t wanna hold a wedding 
just wanna live right now

don’t wanna, don’t wanna 
don’t wanna, don’t wanna

just wanna, just wanna
just wanna, just wanna

don’t wanna, don’t wanna
don’t wanna, don’t wanna

don’t wanna hold a wedding 
just wanna live right now

don't wanna hold a wedding (demo)

don’t wanna hold a wedding (demo)

Original Track Demo #9: This is my favourite track so far, in terms of the sound quality and production process! It encompasses all the lessons I've learnt so far in this song production journey~ Still have so much room for improvement though. The lyrics "murdered myself trying to be somebody else" was inspired by "Hidden Meaning in GONE GIRL – Earthling Cinema" by @Wisecrack on YouTube. The rest of the lyrics express my regrets to how I reacted to a situation. I feel much better now though, and I hope you'll enjoy this song!

[Update] My brother just told me straight up, "I don't like this song." HAHA!! oTL I guess liking a song or not is really up to the individual listener's judgement.. Oh well~ XD

Written by: nalchi ldeter
Audio: recorded on GarageBand, iPhone 7
Release date: 4 February 2020

Lyrics:
9 years, no news, no love, no hate
my feelings came a bit too late
the missing pieces all came back
but fixing them just hurts like crap

i know why we drifted away
you saw the signs why we can’t stay
our hopes and dreams were worlds apart
you knew that we wouldn’t work out

had a second chance to make things right, 
but i blew it up 
you were calm and collected, but
i was dumb, i was dumb, i was dumb, i was dumb
was not expecting to react this way to you at all
and now it’s impossible to be your friend again no more

murdered myself trying to be somebody else 
do you like me now
do you like me now

what do i do when our story’s over for you 
i don’t like me now
i don’t like me now

what do you do if you miss someone else, but you
know you cannot touch
it would be too much

if i was you i wouldn't answer to that too
it is all so wrong 
and too immature

yeah

we came from different paths, so what
with you, i’ll walk right through the dark
those times were too good to be true 
who knew those memories could turn blue

i couldn’t differentiate what’s real
what's ancient and what's in the new
a thousand things i would undo
too bad these wishes won't come through

i'm sorry that my words came out
too quick, too mean, too gross, too loud
they were of a big whining child
now there's no way to clean this up

yeah
no way, no way, no way, no way
no way to clean this up

had a second chance to make things right, 
but i blew it up
you were calm and collected, but
i was dumb, i was dumb, i was dumb, i was dumb
was not expecting to react this way to you at all
and now it’s impossible to be your friend again no more

murdered myself trying to be somebody else 
do you like me now
do you like me now

what do i do when our story’s over for you 
i don’t like me now
i don’t like me now

what do you do if you miss someone else, but you
know you cannot touch
it would be too much

if i was you i wouldn't answer to that too
it is all so wrong 
and too immature

if i was you i wouldn’t answer to that too
if i was you i wouldn’t answer to that too, too

yeah

there is no point in being blue
i’ll move on with or without you
now, words don't even mean a thing
even if we started to sing

you're the first guy to make me feel
i wanted someone so much till
i lose my sleep and appetite
no more room for heartbreaks tonight

i don't like me now (demo)

i don’t like me now (demo)

Original Track Demo #10: Ok, wasn't expecting to end up using Electro Funk live loops (and the f-bomb) when I first wrote this song! The lyrics were inspired by a conversation with my one childhood friend who has stayed in my life for forever T^T She introduced me to BTS and is the main reason why I write songs today~ I can only continue to thank her till the end of time for being my bff in this life. Words will never explain completely what you mean to me and how thankful I am to have met you. Thank you, you. (:

Written by: nalchi ldeter
Audio: recorded on GarageBand, iPhone 7

Lyrics:
isn’t it easy to speak
when you’re sitting in your seat
when it’s someone else’s hands that’s gettin’ dirty

isn’t it cruel to decide
when it’s not your war to fight
when it’s someone else's life that's on the line

isn’t it selfish to blame
put someone else in the flame
when the problem stays the same, cos you don’t change (cos you don't change)

isn’t it wrong to assign
leave your fellow men behind
when it’s them you used to justify your climb

what's the point of having ears if you won’t listen to the truth
why should we give a fuck 'bout you
you don't give a fuck about us too

what’s the point of having eyes if you refuse to see what's new
stick to same old comfy views
dictate what everyone should do

what's the point of your qualifications, fame that you confuse
with a brain that you don't use
just a name that you abuse

what's the point of having consciousness when one blindly partakes  
in a paper-chasing race
for the sake of saving face

it’s attention you seek
people begging at your feet
stroking egos to get praises they don’t need

your intention’s to claim
every credit in your name
all you do is serve your fame, oh, what a shame (oh, what a shame)

isn’t it crazy to think
that you’re just as flawed as me
but your ignorance refuses you to see

isn’t it rude to assume
that everyone’s just like you
that your preferences are equal to the truth

what's the point of having ears if you won’t listen to the truth
why should we give a fuck 'bout you
you don't give a fuck about us too

what’s the point of having eyes if you refuse to see what's new
stick to same old comfy views
dictate what everyone should do

what's the point of your qualifications, fame that you confuse
with a brain that you don't use
just a name that you abuse

what's the point of having consciousness when one blindly partakes  
in a paper-chasing race
what the fuck, i rest my case (case?)

demo

what's the point

what’s the point (demo)

Original Track #11: A YouTube video about family conversations during Circuit Breaker period inspired this song~

Written by: nalchi ldeter
Audio: recorded on iPhone SE
Release date: 16 May 2020

Lyrics:
The people you're close to
They say things that hurt you
So don't get too close
Then they'll know when to leave you alone in your home
You don't own but you've known all these years

The waiting and wanting
And endless complaining
What more can we want than this life that was given to us
That we've taken for granted, after all these years

Misguided, all these years
Surprised at all these tears
That trickled down this face from these eyes
That washed away the dirt from these lies

Blindfolded, all these years
I'm lost here, on this Earth
Is there still time to make wrong deeds right
Or forever be deprived of the light

The people you're close to 
All they want is protect you
As long as you're close
Then they'll know when you're feeling alone in your home
You don't own but you've known all these years

The trying and striving 
And endless not enough-ing
What more can we want when the sun is still shining on us
It is time to be giving, after all these years

Of taking, all these years
And breaking all that's dear
All suffering comes from within us
When we worry 'bout our future and past

Been aching, all these years
And faking that I'm still here
When my mind's elsewhere busy pretending
That this story has a different ending

The people you're close to 
They're learning, just like you
So try to keep close
So you'll know when they're feeling alone in their home
They don't own but they've known all these years

The blaming, forgetting
And endless comparing
What more can be said to take back the hurting
No one to forgive and no one to upset, but me

Raised me, all these years
Forgave me, though I'm nowhere near
Righting wrongs after a million failed tries
Writing songs after a million late nights

Stayed with me, all these years
Embraced me, in spite of all my fears
There's no one else that could take me for me
Than the friends and family that exist to be

All these years, all these years
All these years

all these years

all these years (demo)

Lyrics:
Ploughing through books, not sure what to ask
Look to the light of the moon, that is birthed from the sun
Did it happen by chance
A mysterious dance

The mushrooms that sprout from the ground that was none
And the farmers that farm from the cows that don’t harm
What incredible luck
Unexplainable charm

Every night when it’s time to fall asleep
Slowly I lose my senses and become nothing
Only sometimes I catch a glimpse of what we call a dream
Is it a secret message worth remembering

Every dawn when we’ve rehearsed how death is gonna be
思い出したい
忘れたくない

이 세상 너무 시끄럽다
이 세상 너무 무섭지만
이렇게 같이 걸어 보자
결국 모두 괜찮아

마음이 너무 무겁다
마음이 너무 아프지만
이렇게 같이 계속 살아
다음의 세상 또 만나

To know how to live is to know how to die
Then the time we exist won’t be wasted on lies
Our pains won’t persist
With our lives, they’ll perish

Forgive our past and receive what’s to come
Keep on walking this path with a trembling heart
There’s no way to resist
The wrongs that repeat

Every night when it’s time to fall asleep
Slowly I lose my senses and become nothing
Only sometimes I catch a glimpse of what we call a dream
Is it a secret message worth remembering

Every dawn when we’ve rehearsed how death is gonna be
思い出したい
忘れたくない

이 세상 너무 시끄럽다
이 세상 너무 무섭지만
이렇게 같이 걸어 보자
결국 모두 괜찮아

마음이 너무 무겁다
마음이 너무 아프지만
이렇게 같이 계속 살아
다음의 세상 또 만나

다음의 세상에서 또 만나요
영원히 freedom freedom freedom freedom
영원히 freedom freedom freedom freedom

다음의 세상에서 기다려요
영원히 freedom freedom freedom freedom
영원히 freedom freedom freedom freedom

다음의 세상에서 또 만나요
영원히 freedom freedom freedom freedom
영원히 freedom freedom freedom freedom

다음의 세상에서 기다려요
영원히 freedom freedom freedom freedom
영원히 freedom freedom freedom freedom

영원히freedom

영원히freedom (demo)

Lyrics:
little's required of us
why do we try to achieve so much
is it the ego, it's just a mask
is it the people, we're not enough

blink and an evening has passed
tradin' my sanity for a thousand bucks
do i believe that this soul could last
last even longer than this dream does

take me back to days i'd be up by six
watching the sun awake, as the music plays
food, friends, games, we could talk till late
'bout our hopes and plans that we tend to make and break

want and want, we built dreams too big to come
true in this lifetime, <strike>so</strike> much still un-done 
want and want, even if these dreams do come
true in this lifetime, is that what we want

count till there's no more days left
how could i fear more for deadlines than death
where is the logic, it doesn't make sense
we've lost the magic, feels like a mess

one more thing i should confess
there's no way to count life in dollars and cents
why're we comparing, i couldn't care less
time wasted worrying is life's biggest theft

take me back to days where there's time to play
no consequence to pay for all the words mistakenly said
better days, are they gone or here to stay
why can't we see past today, is fate really there for us to dictate

want and want, chasing things that are close to none  
here in this lifetime, those can't be un-done
want and want, till we realize that we've become 
slaves in this lifetime, slaves to ourselves

back then we were gazing at stars
you told me we're looking at light from the past
that's how we know the world is so vast
in fact expanding, what about us

blink and a decade has passed
why does it feel like i've done nothing much
inventing my problems inside of myself
wasting my time here and wasting my health

take me back to days we'd get drunk on grapes
worried, but still were brave, swore we would live without regrets
no doubt that we were more alive than dead
laughter's more real than fake, remember those time we weren't this afraid

want and want, don't even know what's to come
next in this lifetime, can only move on
want and want, what we want will not be enough
here in this lifetime...

you know how i feel with one look
know me front cover to back like a book
born to this life that we didn't choose
lucky for me that i had met you

blink and a century will pass
we won't even be here to witness what lasts
the people we meet, will turn to dust
no one escapes this, nobody does

so take me back, oh, take me back to us
take me back to
take me back, oh, take me back to us 
take me back to us

take me back (demo)

Lyrics:
yellowing pages that sit on the shelves left unread
pigments have started to fade from the roots of my hair
lines running deep in the palms of my hands
silent stories of a withering man
fingers on piano keys but they ain't got any strength

each heartbeat renewed till it doesn't one day
a natural death, that's what people would say
limbs go cold and grey

been growing but dying the day we were born
the first death was childhood, too quick it was gone
for the rest of life, we mourn
(go cold and grey, cold and grey)

life goes on with desires and colours and failures
till we tire, expire, no longer
have the means to go on life's adventures

then death comes by with roses, reminders and cousins,
we don't even see every so often
oh, meaningful, meaningless customs

woke up this morning just checking i'm not in a dream
feeling the cool breeze brushin' up against my skin
shape-shifting clouds that are passing above
do they know what's like to be loved and unloved
raindrops start falling to mourn for the thoughts that i think

will people be there on my funeral day
silly to think, i'd be dead anyway
limbs go cold and grey

been mourning and dying since childhood was gone
just head full of meaningful, meaningless thoughts
hearts go cold and grey
(cold and grey, cold and grey)

life goes on with desires and colours and failures
till we tire, expire, no longer
have the means to go on life's adventures

then death comes by with roses, reminders and cousins,
we don't even see every so often
oh, meaningful, meaningless customs

meaningful, meaningless
so meaningful, meaningless
so meaningful, meaningless 
so meaningful, meaningless

meaningful meaningless thoughts

meaningful meaningless thoughts (demo)

Lyrics:
When a story ends, what do i do
It doesn’t prevent, feeling alone

So I replay the scenes over again
To hide the pain, while finding my way back home

I go by each day, chasing a rainbow’s end
Wind in my face, running with shapeless friends
Only when it starts to rain, we all stop playing pretend
There is a rainbow, but there’s also despair

When a daydream ends, what do I do
I draw up a plan of how to make it come true

Then I replay this dream, still on the bed
To see him again, though we have never met

I go by each day, living in fantasies
People might say “they’re not real”, but they exist
Only when you’re left alone, you go to where you long to be
There are illusions, but there’s also relief

I live through borrowed words
From scripts, lyrics, poems
By people who have learned what it means to love

The horrors of the world
Are sometimes innocent
Let death be when justice is served

When the music ends, what do i do
I pick up a pen and write something new

So live through each day, feeling the changing wind
Change is okay, that’s how we make memories
Shed our painful disguise, but still a lonely surprise
Life is a nightmare, but it’s also a dream

Life is a mountain, but it’s also a breeze